Fight To The Death
by Smudge93
Summary: The Winchesters trap and kill a witch but has she hex'd Dean and if she has how do his family help him? Can Sam and John stop arguing long enough to help Dean or will their constant quarrelling be the end of him. And what will be the outcome? Pre Season 1
1. Chapter 1

**Story Notes:**

Sam, John and Dean hunt down and kill a witch but not before she tells Sam that his brother is going to die and it will be his fault.

Can he stop arguing with John long enough for them to figure out what is going on and save Dean?

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Well all the boys are in this one and Dean is in trouble again right from the get go. I promise I do like him, really....but I love hurting him. (and fixing him too!)

Hex

Hunters, she hated hunters, those men who thought that they had some divine right to hunt her kind down and kill them. She hadn't really being doing any harm, just getting rid of the bad element from her town, cleansing it if you will, but still she should have know that they'd come.

That they'd hunt her down.

She had been watching them for weeks surprised at just how fast they had managed to make her out for what she really was and even more at how quickly they had found her.

They were a family; she knew having done a little research of her own, two brothers and the father. She loved families, they were so easy to take apart, and this one was just waiting to be ripped apart at the seams, in fact she had already started. Her hex was in place and they were going down, no matter what they did to her.

She had settled on the elder brother, he was the strongest, which strangely she had found, made him their weak link. It was him that she would use to destroy them, bring all three hunters to their knees.

The youngest was standing in front of her now, gun raised but yet hesitant to take the shot, to kill what was essentially still a human. She knew now that she had underestimated him but then, he had underestimated her. He would pay for his diligence in the hunt, or more exactly his brother would pay for him. She rounded on Sam Winchester as a trapped and wounded animal would round on its captor. "Kill me and you won't be able to save your brother. He'll die, writhing in pain, and it will be your fault." The witch laughed in his face, her eyes filled with glee, cautiously closing the gap.

Sam hesitated; the gun wavered slightly in his hand. That was all that she needed, she brought her knee up and the connection with his body made him groan, drop the gun and fall to his knees.

"Fool!" She stepped forward and grabbed him by the throat.

"Hey!" She turned; arm stretched maintaining her hold on Sam. John Winchester was behind her gun raised. "Get away from my boy bitch."

She dropped Sam as the bullet slammed into her chest and she staggered back, falling to the floor, the scarlet blood from her chest pooling on the floor and then slowly starting to snake its way towards Sam. He sat up and tried to get away from the advancing river that signalled her dying. He watched as her head turned and she looked over at him, smiling. His worry at her words finally got him moving, he crawled towards her, avoiding the blood and grabbed her head in his hands. "What did you mean?"

John watched the scene, wondering what his son and the witch had to talk about, not really worried that she could hurt him, she was dying, should actually already be dead.

"You can't save him now, no one can, all you can do is watch him die, watch as you kill him."

A small trickle of blood ran from her mouth and Sam listened as death rattled through her chest. "What does that mean, tell me what that means?!" Sam shook her but he knew it was too late. She was gone, her lifeless eyes staring at him. He let her fall back to the floor and rounded on his father, anger blazing in his eyes, his father looking at him with puzzlement in his own. "What the hell did you just do?"

"I killed a witch, a witch I might add that you let get the jump on you. I've told you before Sam, you don't chat with these things, you kill them. End of story." John saw the look in his son's eyes. "What lies did she fill that head of yours with?"

"Where's Dean?"

"What?"

"You know. My brother. Your other son. **Where the hell is Dean?!**" Sam screamed the last part at him.

"Outside doing what he's supposed to be doing."

Sam pushed past and almost fell as he ran into his brother coming in. Dean had heard the shot and then the raised voices, the voices causing concern to fill him when neither Sam nor John had appeared out the warehouse. Winchester war sounded as if it had broken out and he sighed as he approached the door.

He had caught Sam just before he went down. "Whoa there, you alright?"

Sam was staring at him, checking him over.

"Earth to Sammy? What's up?"

"You ok? And it's Sam." Sam pushed Dean back the arms length and finished his exam of him.

Dean struggled out of Sam's grip, rubbing his arm where Sam was almost stopped the circulation and stared at his brother, concern in his eyes and voice as he spoke. "Eh, Sam I was outside where the witch wasn't." Dean caught the look in his brother's eye. "What is it? Did she do something to you?"

John interrupted them. "You brother can't learn that you don't talk to these things when you hunting them, that's what it is."

Dean could hear the barely contained anger in his father's voice.

"She was telling me something and you shot her before she finished. It was important….."

John cut him off. "Well I'm sorry but from where I was it just looked as if she was kneeing you in the….."

It was Dean's turn to interrupt. "Dude, did you let her get the jump on you?" He laughed. "Bet you crumpled like a pack of cards."

Sam scowled at him. "Like you would have managed better."

"Your brother wouldn't have let her get close enough to do that to him." John's voice was stern. "Just what the hell were you thinking Sam, really I'd like to know?"

"I didn't let her, she just appeared."

"What like in a cloud of smoke?" John's voice was dripping with sarcasm and anger. "She damn well walked towards you Sam, I was there, I watched it. You let her walk right up to your damn face; never even attempted to raise your gun." John was in Sam's face now. "I thought I'd taught you better than that. If I hadn't got close enough to shoot her god knows what she'd have done."

Sam felt his own temper rising to match his fathers and was about to answer back when a groan from Dean interrupted him. He turned and watched as his brother brought his hand to his head, swaying forward. Sam put out a hand and caught him, his anger at his dad quickly turning to concern for his brother.

"Son, what is it?" John's anger also morphed into concern for his eldest.

Dean's face was grey. "I'm good; I'm ok, just felt a little dizzy for a little moment there." He smiled at the two concerned frowns. "I'm fine. Honestly. Probably hungry. Let's go eat. Sam you can drive."

He threw his brother the keys.

And there it was, Dean's silent admission that whatever that had been, it was more than he was going to tell them, his willingness to let Sam drive his only tell.

"I'll clear up here. You boys go ahead." John put his hand on Dean's shoulder the question only in his eyes.

"I'm good, dad. Promise. You sure you don't need a hand?"

John nodded. "Sam go make sure that your brother eats, I'll meet you two boys back at the motel." He took one last look at them, and then walked back into the warehouse.

Sam gave a sigh. "You sure you're ok?"

Dean didn't look up as he climbed into the car. "Yeah, peachy. Can we just go please? This place is starting to give me the creeps."

Sam watched his brother's mood seemed to lighten the further away from the warehouse they got and by the time they reached the diner he was back to normal and driving Sam crazy bitching about his driving. Sam smiled and relaxed a little thinking that perhaps he had read too much into the incident at the warehouse, the witch's words spooking him more than he'd ought to have let them.

Then again, his brother could be faking feeling better. He threw a few glances Dean's way as he drove. "You sure you're ok?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes mom."

Then he shut them.

---

They had been in the diner an hour and Dean could feel his temper rising until finally he couldn't take it any longer. He was still feeling like crap since the dizzy spell at the warehouse, had tried to hide it, but Sam was still staring at him, watching him for any sign that all wasn't right and Dean had absolutely had enough. He looked up from his plate and glowered at his brother, he voice too loud when he spoke.

"Dude, stop staring at me like I'm gonna drop dead in front of you. She was a witch Sammy, she was about to die, and whatever she said, which"…..he pointed his fork at himself…… "I presume had something to do with me, she was messing with your head and it's worked. You're freaking me out with the death stare ok; just eat your freakin' dinner."

Dean threw his fork onto his plate causing several of the diner's occupants to look his way. "What?" He almost shouted it at them and they turned back hiding themselves in the task of eating. He strained to stop himself from putting his hand to his head.

"Dean!"

"Well I hate being stared at when I'm eating ok Sam. Hate it." Dean threw the napkin on top of the plate and stood.

"Where are you going?" Sam went to stand too but Dean pushed him back into the seat.

"Need to hit the head Sammy and don't even think about following me."

Sam's phone rang as Dean pushed his way into the bathroom.

"Dad, hey did you get everything cleaned?" Sam watched the door swing shut behind his brother and then turned his full attention to the call.

"Almost, how's Dean?"

"Dean's fine."

He gave his father the answer that he knew he'd want to hear, not the one that was circling his head. _A witch told me he's gonna die but apart from that…. _

"I've got another job for you both before you call it a night."

Sam couldn't keep the groan in.

"Something wrong?" John voice had that tone in it that Sam hated. The 'are we going to get into it again' tone. He couldn't resist, he had to push the buttons.

"Yeah, something is wrong dad, Dean's tired………I'm tired." He refrained from adding the 'of taking your orders' that was hanging off the end of his tongue, begging for air.

"Tough. I need you to check on a house a few blocks from the motel. I was talking to Bobby, seems there maybe a poltergeist there. I just want you both to go look alright. Not too much to ask?" John was tired himself and he could feel his annoyance at Sam rising, Dean would just have gone and looked for him, so why the hell couldn't his brother just do as he was asked, just once without any backchat?

Sam bit back the 'yeah it is' and looked up as his brother slipped back into the booth.

Dean mouthed 'Dad?' at him and Sam nodded. He noticed that Dean's face had a look of the greyness about it again that he'd had at the warehouse. He threw his brother a concerned look.

"I'm fine. Stop staring. Stop asking. Give me the damn phone." Dean lent over and ripped the phone from Sam's grip.

Sam watched as he took the napkin and fished for a pen, dutifully noting down the address. "Don't worry dad, we'll just give it the once over…..yeah I'm fine……ok see you then, bye." He closed the phone, threw it at Sam, and fished for his wallet in his pocket. "Let's go." He threw the money on the table and watched as Sam didn't move.

"What?" He sighed and pulled his brother to his feet. "Can't you talk to dad for five minutes without getting that pissed look on your face?"

Dean could feel his head start to pound and his mouth go dry as he stared into his brother's angry face. He managed to get out the door before Sam spun him round.

"Can't you talk to dad for five minutes without jumping to attention and then trotting off like a dog to do what ever he asks us to without question?"

He wasn't angry at his brother, it was his dad, but John wasn't here to shout at at the moment so he took it out on the only other person he could.

"Sam we're hunters"…..he held up the piece of napkin to his brother's face…… "dad has asked us to go check out a possible hunt and that is what we're going to do. Ok?"

"No. I'm not going. I'm sick of it."

"Get in the car." Dean dropped his head onto his chest and breathed deeply.

"No. I'm going back to the motel. I'm not going to check out this house." Sam stared at his brother defiantly, his anger stepping up a notch.

"Get in the friggin' car Sam. Now." Dean could feel his world start to shake; he turned and steadied himself on the Impala.

"No." Sam crossed his arms and stood his ground. Stood his ground that was until Dean started to slide down the side of the car.

"Dean!" Sam rounded the car and gathered his brother into his arms, listening to him gasping for air; his hand gripping his head. Sam tilted Dean's head back, opening his airway to make it easier for him to get air into his lungs. The awful grey colour from before had changed to completely bleached out white and beads of sweat were appearing on Dean's face.

"It's ok, I've got you Dean, just breathe for me ok? Slowly, that's it."

Dean's breath evened out slightly and then he felt his brother lurch in his arms. Knowing what that signalled Sam quickly lifted Dean's head and rolled him to the side just as his brother threw up everything that he'd just eaten. Sam held him until the retching stopped and then gently propped him up again the car, checking his eyes and his pulse.

Dean's heart was racing.

"What's up Dean, tell me?"

"Don't….know……pain in……my head. Need to…..need to……. lie down Sammy. Just for a minute." Dean dropped his head on his chest and passed out.

"Shit." Sam lifted Dean's head and tried to get him to come round. "Dean?…….. Dean?…….. Please don't do this. You're scaring the shit out of me man, please. Dean, I need you to wake up." He gently slapped his brother's face and was rewarded with a slight groan.

He looked up and realised that they had attracted an audience.

The waitress from the diner was standing behind him. "Is he ok sweetheart? Do you want to bring him back inside?"

"No, no thanks, I'll just get him home, he wasn't feeling well earlier. I'm sorry about the mess."

"Hell nothing that a bucket of water won't clear. Joe!" She called for the waiter and Sam watched as she spoke to him and he stepped forward. "I'll help you get him in the car." He put one arm under Dean's shoulder and waited until Sam took the other.

"Thanks." Sam pulled open the back door and gently they slide Dean across the back seat. Sam shrugged off his jacket and placed it under Dean's head and then thanked Joe for his help.

Getting into the car, he headed for the motel and his father.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

2nd chappie. Hope you like, not such an angsty one as the last, but that will probably change soon.

Thanks for the reviews, Mary xx

One minute you're down and then next you're up

John jumped as Sam threw open the door to the motel room the retort about his son's behaviour dying on his lips as he looked at his face. "What is it?"

"Dean's in the car, he collapsed outside the diner. I need your help." Sam was gone almost before his words had time to sink in.

John was on his feet and outside the door in an instant, following Sam down to the back of the car and to his son's head. He gently cradled it in his hands, tilting it back slightly so that he could see Dean's face. "Dean? Son? Can you hear me?" Worry pierced his heart at the lack of response. "Dean?"

He breathed again as Dean gave a soft moan and then his eyes fluttered open, the intense green in them a sharp contrast to the paleness of the skin that surrounded them.

"Dad?"

"Hey, let's get you out of the car and into the motel room." He turned. "Sam help me here."

Sam stood to the side as his dad slid his hands down under his brother's shoulders and pulled carefully until his back was out the car, then he moved in and supported his brother with an arm round his waist until they had him out. Moving him to an upright position between them they linked arms across his shoulders and under his knees and carried him inside. They exchanged worried glances as Dean didn't protest at all, his head merely dropping to the side against his father's chest.

Once he was down on the bed John stripped Dean of his jacket and his jeans and pulled the covers over him. "Sam, first aid kit."

Sam fetched it without question, adding painkillers and a glass of water to his chore and was back before his dad had finished trying to make Dean comfortable. John took the kit and watched as Sam placed the water and the tablets on the table next to the bed.

Opening the kit John pulled out the thermometer, stuck it in Dean's mouth and the grabbed his son's wrist to check his pulse. He glanced quickly at Sam. "What happened?"

"He was getting in the car, he just collapsed." Sam chewed on his fingernail nervously.

"I take it he was sick?" John looked up again after taking in the stains on Dean's jacket and the smell from his breath.

Sam nodded.

"What where you doing before he collapsed? Was he talking to you? Was he alright?"

"He was a little grey but he was ok, we….we were arguing and then he lent on the car and then he just…he just collapsed."

John could feel the tension rolling of his youngest son in waves. "He doesn't have a temperature. Heart rate's pretty high though." John threw the thermometer back in the kit. "You were arguing?"

Sam looked at the floor. "Yeah…I'd didn't want to go to the house….he was tired but as usual you'd asked him to so he was going." Sam couldn't keep the edge of annoyance out of his voice. "He was telling me to get in the car and then he just went down."

John pinched the bridge of his nose and then tried to get Dean to talk to him. "Dean?" He shook his elder son gently. "Dean?" The touch of John's hand to Dean's forehead brought a flicker of eyelids and a fleeting glimpse of green as a response. "How are you feeling?" Sam couldn't help noticing the anxious tone to his father's voice. "Dean? Please…talk to me son?"

"Dad?" Dean's eyes opened again, more fully this time. He looked up at John, disorientation present in his facial expression. "What happened?"

"You collapsed." Sam stepped closer and sat on the edge of the night table. "Outside the diner? You were getting in the car?"

"Oh." Dean closed his eyes again. He didn't remember leaving the diner, let alone getting out as far as the car. All he remembered was a blinding pain piercing its way through his head and then this. He knew that he must look bad, his father's face was a study in calm. Too calm. Whatever had happened or however he had looked when he'd got here, it had shook John Winchester and that was no easy task.

John forced Dean to sit up, drink a little of the water and take two of the tablets that Sam had brought over. He stopped when Dean started to choke and handed the glass back to his younger son, pulling Dean to him and running circles with his hand on Dean's back to soothe him. "Don't be sick on me now kiddo? Ok?" He pulled Dean away, smiled a little smile and then hugged him to him again.

"I'll try." _Yeah, definitely scared him…hell I scared me._

John felt his concern flare again as Dean lent into the embrace just ever so slightly, resting his weight against John and obviously taking comfort from his father's presence.

"It's ok, I'm here." Dean pulled back at little at that and John started to help him lie back down. "Let's get you more comfortable. How are you feeling?"

Dean's voice was still weak when he spoke, his head still hurting although the mind numbing pain had thankfully gone. "Awesome."

John and Sam grinned and relaxed a little. "You in any pain?"

"Head hurts, not so bad now." Dean closed his eyes and John settled the covers round him.

"Just rest up."

" 'kay."

John sat there until Dean's breathing evened out, signaling that he'd fallen asleep and then he motioned Sam away. "You've been with him all week, even when I haven't. Did he say anything about not being well?"

"No." Sam looked at his father. "I wanted to tell you earlier….the witch when you shot her….she said something. Something about Dean."

"What?" John's voice was hard.

"She said that if we killed her, Dean was going to die and that we couldn't stop it. It would be my fault."

"And that links to this how? Even if she put a hex on you or Dean you aren't the one that's making him sick."

Sam huffed. "So…some witch tells me my brother is going to die, writhing in agony and I'm going to cause it and the very same day he collapses for no reason…and you want to stand there and tell me that they aren't connected?!" Sam hissed quietly at his father to avoid waking Dean, temper only just in check. "Big, bloody coincidence if it isn't!"

"I didn't say that it wasn't connected, I said that you aren't responsible."

Sam's voice rose. "You did, you asked me how that linked to this! Dean's sick, seems obvious to me….and you're right I'm not responsible, I wasn't the one that shot her!"

John started forward at the last remark. "Why you little…."

"Guys!" The sound of Dean's voice caused them both to look down. "Stop it, ok….just stop it." He groaned out the last part. His words halted the argument but not the bolt of pain that sliced through his head. Dean made a strange little noise and Sam pushed John aside, grabbed the bin and turned his brother on his side; just before he was sick again.

Dean curled a fist in Sam's jacket as he retched up what little content he had left in his stomach. Sam gripped his brother's shoulder tight with one hand, trying to ensure that he didn't slip and held the bin up with the other. Dean felt like the heaving of his insides went on forever until, with a sigh of relief, he felt the cramps in his stomach finally ebb and then die.

"You done?" Sam dropped the bin and used his other hand to support Dean's weight as he helped him lie back on the bed.

Dean managed a half-smile. "Thanks." He closed his eyes and curled up into a ball, careful not to move his head too much as he did so, hating the dizzy feeling that swamped him with every little movement. Sam pushed him back into the middle of the bed, his hand resting on his brother's head for a minute before he stood up and turned to John.

"I'm going to go see if I can get some soup or something light that he can try to eat later. He's brought up just about everything he's eaten today." Sam needed air, space away from John and this was as good an excuse as any. He grabbed the keys to the Impala and headed for the door.

"Fine. When you get back I'll go back to her house. Maybe there's something there we missed."

"Fine."

John waited until the door closed and then with a final check on Dean he sat down and started to review all the research that they had on the witch.

If this was a hex, he was going to find stop it, with or without the witch that cast it.

---

Sam had come back about an hour later, feeling calmer and with his emotions and his temper under control. He had picked up some soup that he could heat in the microwave and a few things that he thought his brother would like if he was feeling better.

John had gone over the research that he had checked with him and then left for the witch's house.

Sam had sat with Dean for a little while, happier with his brother's colour and the fact that the lines of pain that had been etched across his face earlier were gone. He was torn between waking Dean and trying to get him to eat something and keep it down or just letting his brother rest. He decided on the latter and set a schedule for himself. If Dean wasn't awake after the next two hours he would wake him then and try to feed him.

He sat down at the laptop and called up his notes on the witch and in particular the research that he had done on the hexes that she favoured most. After an hour Sam wished that he hadn't been quite so diligent in gathering the effects that the hexes had on her list of fifteen victims, all of whom had died pretty horrific deaths at her hands. He had some lovely pictures to prove it.

Sam was determined that she wasn't adding Dean to that list posthumously.

---

He felt the gentle shake at his shoulder and sat back wiping his mouth with his hand.

_Crap, he'd fell asleep. _

"Sam." It was his father's voice. He forced himself fully awake and then quickly turned to check his brother. Dean was lying facing him, his face peaceful and his breathing deep and even.

"He's fine. I woke him and made him take some soup. He's was tired though, dropped back to sleep almost right away…speaking of which." John lent over and shut the laptop. "Get some sleep Sammy, we can go over this in the morning with some fresh eyes."

Sam went to protest but found that he didn't have it in him at the moment. He stripped to his shorts and t-shirt and just crawled into the bed, then, with one final look at Dean, he let sleep claim him.

---

Sam woke and stretched. He yawned what his brother had lovingly christened his flip-top yawn and sat up, surprise filling him as he was greeted by the sight of the self same brother sitting at the desk, laptop open and drinking a coffee.

Dean smiled over at him. "Morning sleeping beauty. What time d'you call this to wake up?" His brother pushed his chair back and strolled over to the foot of the bed.

"Some of us didn't sleep half the day away yesterday." He looked Dean over and felt concern filter in at Dean's still too pale face. "How you feeling? Better I take it?"

"Yeah, bit tired is all. Coffee's on. Dad's gone to speak to some of the relatives of the people that died, see if they can give a better detail of what exactly happened than the papers…I was just doing some research." Dean walked back and threw himself on the seat. "Get washed, get dressed and we'll go for breakfast."

Sam stood and headed into the bathroom stopping though when he saw the website that his brother had tried and failed to shut down quickly enough. "Yeah, you're better. That's not research and it better not crash my hard drive again."

Dean flipped Sam a finger as he shut the door of the bathroom.

Yesterday felt like just a bad dream.

---

"You sure your feeling better?" Sam glanced again across the table in the diner.

"Yeah, headache's gone, stomach's better." Dean crammed his mouth full of bacon as if to prove the point.

"I can see that." Sam shook his head as he watched Dean tuck into his 'heart attack on a plate' breakfast. That much grease he thought, is enough to kill anyone.

Dean continued talking even with his mouth full. "So Dad said that you think the witch we ganked has put some kinda hex on me? Do we know what and how long?" A few little bits of bacon headed Sam's way.

Sam looked up from his notebook, wiping at it in disgust. "Yes, no and what?"

"Well all the other people that this scank hexed, they died Sammy, if she's done me don't you think she'll have given me an expiry date like the rest?"

Sam's face paled. " I don't know Dean and I mean you're ok today so maybe I'm wrong."

Dean sipped his coffee. "When are you ever wrong Sam?"

Sam went to answer when his brother let out a little cry of surprise.

"What. Are you ok?" Sam started to stand but his brother waved him off and fished his phone out of the pocket of his jeans.

"Put it on vibrate this morning 'cos you were still sleeping, forgot to take it back off." Dean raised his eyebrows. "That was interesting."

Sam barked a laugh as Dean flipped the phone open. He listened to his brother's stilted side of the conversation. Dean closed the phone. "Dad's found hex bags at three out of six of the houses so far, so you my brother have a motel room to rip apart and me…I've got a car."

Sam signalled for the check. "Ok then, let's get started.

-


	3. Chapter 3

HI

Well a little more pain for Dean and then John and Sam will have to get on with figuring out what the heck they do to fix this.

Thanks for the reviews folks! Mary xx

-

Hello Pain My Old Friend

They had gone back to the motel and Dean had taken the Impala to an empty lot round the back of where they were staying not really wanting to unload the assortment of weapons that they had in the trunk in full view of the motel rooms.

Sam sighed as he stood in the middle of the room trying to decide where to start. Finally, he walked into the small kitchenette and opened the cupboard doors.

---

Dean still wasn't feeling 100% no matter the face that he had put on for his brother. He pulled a bottle of water from the floor of the car and took a mouthful, grimacing as the water that sluiced down his throat was warm from having sat in the car.

"Well baby, let's get this done. If she's messed with my car she'll be glad that she's dead already." He patted the roof and then popped the hood. "Let's do the easy part first." He set about examining the car's guts.

Less than an hour later and with no real sign that anything had been tampered with on her, he dropped the hood and then dropped himself in the driver's seat, gently resting his head on the wheel. Leaving the door out to let the hot air escape he closed his eyes; it was too warm in the car and the heat made him feel dizzy but he couldn't move at the moment. His head was starting to hurt again and he briefly hoped that its was just thirst and the dryness in the air, but he knew that his luck generally wasn't that good.

Fumbling in his pocket, he took out the bottle of Tylenol that he had taken with him to the diner just in case, cursing as he struggled to get his fingers to work the simple task of getting the lid off. He finally managed it after several attempts and various curses but the contents spilt into his lap and then onto the floor as the shakes took hold.

"Jesus, please not again." He reached gingerly down and plucked two tablets from the floor then threw his head and himself back against the seat, lifting his hand and dropping the tablets into his mouth as he did. Not able to reach the water bottle from were he was and not really willing to move his head again, he dry swallowed them, choking for a minute until they finally slid over his throat. The headache was building and Dean knew what was coming. He was on the tracks and there was a train headed his way. He pulled out his phone.

"Looks like the room is a bust so far. What about on your end?" His brother's voice filled his head and made him groan in pain.

"Sammy." He drew in a long pain filled gasp of air.

"Dean? Dean are you ok?"

He couldn't answer, it felt like his head had burst as a lance of pain shot through it causing his vision to white out completely. Bringing his hands to his head, he dropped the phone and resisted the urge to scream as what felt like icy fingers dug into his brain, trying to squeeze what little conscious thought he had left from it. He dropped his arms back to his sides, no longer able to keep them up and let his hands rest on his thighs, digging his nails into the flesh in a vain hope of diverting some of the pain away from his head. Nausea began to rise in him and he reached for the open door, willing his hand and arm to comply with his need to grip the handle. Neither did and missing the door completely he fell out of the car, his shoulder impacting with the gravel mere seconds before his head connected with it.

This time he did scream.

And then he passed out.

---

Sam had ripped apart the kitchenette, even going as far as unfastening the waste trap on the sink to ensure that there wasn't a hex bag in the pipe, knowing that it was unlikely but unable to stop himself from checking anyway. His phone rang as he was halfway through checking the main room.

"Sam, you boys finished looking over the room and the car yet?" His Dad's gruff tone hinted that all had not gone well at his end.

"No sir, not yet."

John had got nowhere with his investigation, he'd had to wait until the victim's houses were empty, then he hadn't found hex bags at all the houses, so either she'd hidden them really well or they weren't there in the first place. John knew that that of course then meant that she had may have found another way to jinks those people, which would need more research. His talk with the families, listening to them describing the events leading up to their loved ones death hadn't exactly lightened his mood either. He took his frustration out on his younger son. "What the hell is the delay? This is important Sam."

"It's only been slightly less than an hour _John_…." Sam used his father's name to annoy him. "…it's a big room and I'm on my own. Do you want me to do a good job or not?"

"Where's Dean? Isn't he helping? Is he sick again? Why didn't you call me if he's sick again?" John fired questions at him.

Sam rolled his eyes. "He isn't sick again Dad, he's checking the car out."

"Is he ok?"

"Was last time I looked."

"When was that?"

Sam suddenly realised that Dean hadn't check with in him to see if he had found anything, and a little niggle of worry crept in. "When we got here, I was just going to call him when you called."

"I bet you were." John's annoyance breathed down the phone at him. His Dad paused and then he was on his case again. "Wait you mean you can't see him? Some witch puts a hex on your brother that makes him collapse and you've let him out of your sight? What's wrong with you these days Sam?"

Sam huffed loudly, his anger evident in his voice. "Dean is a big boy Dad and he's only out in the empty lot at the back of the motel, he didn't want to empty the car in view of anyone that walked by."

"I'd better call him then, one of us at least should keep an eye on him, don't you think!"

Sam bristled at his father's implication. "I am."

"Sounds like it. He was right in front of you the last time and you couldn't stop her getting to him." The call dropped as John cut the connection.

Sam had several choice words running through his head but he chose not to give vent to any of them. He was furious, his Dad left them for days at a time and didn't bother to even pick up if one of them called to say the other was hurt, but now he was acting like Sam was an idiot who didn't know how to look after his brother.

He grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge with his Dad's words now eating at him. Sam headed for the door to check on Dean knowing that he would need an excuse or his brother would be as annoyed at being checked on as his father had been because he hadn't. It was warm outside anyway, Dean could probably do with a drink by now.

Sam's phone rang as he stepped out of the front door, he smiled as his brother's name flashed on the caller ID.

---

John cursed as Dean's phone went straight to voice mail; either it was off, which was unlikely, or Dean was talking to someone; probably Sam had called him just to stop John getting through. He was standing outside the last house that he was going to search today, having already had to wait two hours for the family to leave, but now he was undecided whether to go and do it or go back and check on the boys.

He'd searched seven houses and had four bags making seven out of a possible thirteen with two houses left to check. Looking at the house again he was filled with a sudden urge to get back that he couldn't explain, Dean would had said that his spider sense was tingling. Sighing he wrote the day off as a bust and stomped back to his truck. He'd get Sam to go over the bags with him and then they would decide their next step from there.

He tried Sam's phone; it switched to answer phone and he relaxed a little, if the boys were talking on their phones maybe he was just a little wrought at not finding anything useful. He looked across at the house again as Sam's message finished. "Hey, it's me…I'm heading back, maybe give you a hand to finish the room off. I was going to fetch some food back with me, call me back and let me know what you and your brother want. Bye."

Shutting the phone he climbed into the truck and headed back.

---

Sam rounded the corner onto the gravel lot. The Impala was sitting less than 100 yards from him but he couldn't see his brother. He headed for her, calling Dean's name as he approached. There was no reply.

As he got to the passenger side he saw that the driver's door was wide and his brother was lying in the dirt beneath it, half in, half out the car.

"Dean!" Sam circled the car quickly, threw the bottles that he was still carrying over onto the backseat together with his phone and then dropped to his knees, lifting his stricken brother's head onto his lap. "Dean?" There was a little cut on the side of Dean's head, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he wiped at it with his shirt and found that it wasn't anything major. Dean had probably hurt it he figured falling out the car. He touched his hand to Dean's forehead and frowned. His brother was running hot and Sam didn't think that it was all down to the heat of the day and the car.

Instead of pulling his brother free Sam lifted him and slid him back into the car and over to the passenger seat, lifting him up to get him in and then dropping Dean's head back onto his lap, noting the tablets spilled over the floor as he did. "Don't tell me Dean, taking the tablets with you was a precaution…why couldn't you say if you still weren't feeling ok?" He shook his head and, reaching over, slammed the driver's door then quickly pulled the car round to the front of the room.

Half carrying, half dragging his brother he managed to get him inside and onto the bed.

Sam quickly fetched the first aid kit, a wet cloth and a towel then put the thermometer from the kit into his brother's mouth. He checked Dean's breathing and pulse frowning at the latter and then touched the cloth to the cut on his brother's forehead, cleaning away the little bit of blood and dirt that still clung there while he waited on the temperature to read. He frowned at the beep. Leaving the cloth on his brother's forehead he looked at the readout – 101 – the figures flashed in front of him. Damn, too high, he thought even as he moved to strip his brother down.

"Dean? Can you hear me? I need to know if you can hear me. You're running a little hot there big brother, I got your jeans off but I need you to help me with the t-shirt ok?" He lifted Dean against him and could have cried as he felt his brother start to respond to his voice, felt him carry a little bit of his own weight as Sam struggled to get the shirt up one arm and the over his brother's head and down the other. Dean shivered against him and moaned quietly. Sam carefully eased him back down onto the bed and smiled at him as he opened his eyes. "Hey, you gotta stop scaring me like that…almost gave me a heart attack man with that phone call and then finding you at the car."

"Sorry." Dean forced the word out and Sam could hear the dryness in his brother's voice.

"S'ok. Think you could drink something for me?"

"Yeah." Dean closed his eyes again but Sam nudged him until he opened them again.

"You stay with me. No sleeping until I get some fluid in you." He fetched a bottle of water and then slipped an arm round the back of his brother's shoulders, lifting him up to let him drink. Dean tried to lift his arm to hold the bottle and Sam frowned again as he couldn't managed it. "I got it Dean, just drink." He forced almost the whole bottle down his brother's throat, stopping every now and again to let him rest, until Dean finally protested.

"Enough." Dean turned his head and let it rest against Sam and they sat like that for a little while until Sam realised that Dean was drifting again. He reached for the thermometer and shook Dean.

"Hey, let's get another reading." He put the thermometer back in Dean's mouth and waited. He knew that he shouldn't be holding onto Dean if his temperature was high but he couldn't help himself, seeing Dean like this scared him more than he was prepared to admit, and the fact that Dean was allowing him to scared him even more. The beep roused him from his thoughts.

"Shit." The number 102 blink at him. He place Dean down gently on the bed and went to fetch another towel and the ice packs from the fridge wondering briefly as he did what it must be like to live in a family where ice packs weren't used routinely to bring down temperatures caused by supernatural forces or infected wounds.

He was just placing them next to Dean when John arrived in.

"What happened?" John put the files and the hex bags down on the table and turned to Sam, keeping his anger in check for the moment as Sam's face was whiter than Dean's was.

"You were right. He called me and by the time I got to the car he'd collapsed again. I brought him round here, got him settled but his temperature's too high, I was just trying to bring it down."

John shrugged off his jacket and let it drop to the floor. "How high?"

"102 but it was 101 less than an hour ago and that was before I stripped him and made him drink something."

John touched Dean's forehead and watched as his son opened his eyes. "Dad?"

"Yeah, I'm here…so's Sammy. He tells me you took a bad turn. Up to telling me what happened?"

"Head….pain." Dean groaned as the first wave of nausea hit, not sure if he was answering the question or telling his dad how he felt.

Sam's face hovered into view. "You gonna be sick?"

"Not…sure." Dean closed his eyes and willed away the feeling in his stomach. He could feel the chill from the ice packs invading him and he knew it was too much. "Too…cold." He tried to push them away but John stilled his hand.

" Just let them lie there Dean, just for a little while ok?" John turned to Sam. "Run a bath will you, tepid…not cold. We'll try to bring his temperature down gradually." Sam went off and John leaned closer, examining his elder son's face. "It's gonna be alright, I'm going to fix it, you just need to ride it out for a little while."

"Sick." One word but John had turned him on his side almost before he finished saying it. Sam materialised from nowhere and this time John held him as Sam made sure the bucket was in the right place.

Dean felt as if his insides were getting ripped from him, his retching so violent this time that John was having a hard time holding onto him. He felt one final, gut wrenching wave hit him and then he was struggling to breath, blood filling his mouth and his nose, choking him.

"Dean!" His dad's concerned tones reached him just as whatever was stopping his breathing cleared and he gasped in a long pain filled suck of air. He felt his dad raise his head up with his hands and brush his hair back from his face and then there was nothing but pain and he passed out.

"GET THE CAR OPENED!" John screamed at Sam even as he lifted Dean up into his arms, his worry at the blood and the fact that Dean has past out filling him with a strength he didn't know he had.

Sam had the car ready as his dad stepped through the door and helped him get Dean in and settled and then he started the engine and pulled out of the carpark not having to ask where they were going.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Thanks folks for the reviews, glad you are liking this, it is fun to write and I have a few surprises up my sleeve!

So Dean was on his way to hospital....yup that's where they were taking him!

I was playing with the medical sites on the internet so I hope you like the explanation! Or what the doc thinks is the explanation!

-

Waiting for a break. 

-

Dean knew it the minute Sam found him, he could smell his brother's stupid shampoo that he constantly ribbed him for, could make out the tone of his voice if not the words. Sam was dragging him and then he was manhandling him out of his shirt, Dean tried to help, something in Sam's tone telling him that this was what he was asking. He tried to open his eyes, managed a few words with his brother, there was water forced into him and then it was his father's voice that was talking to him, comforting him, something about riding it out and then it hit him again, the kick to his gut and this time he had to go with it, felt the burning as his insides fought their way out.

Then there was nothing.

Dean was vaguely aware of hands on him, a nasal cannula being attached and the much hated feeling of the IV being stuck in his hand but at the moment he couldn't tell them that he could hear them and feel them. He felt as if he was swimming up through deep water, he could see the light on the water above his head but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach it to break the surface. His chest and his gut felt like he had swallowed fire but he knew that was just the ferociousness with which he had been sick that had caused that; that and the taste of blood in his mouth and the scent of it in his nose. It was strange, he could actually feel himself starting to heal, knowing that it wasn't the contents of the drip that was doing it although it was helping. He was still wondering why she would let that happen when he finally realised that the light was in reach. He put his hands up and pulled himself out into reality.

Dean dragged in a deep breath and sat up, startling the nurse that was checking him over.

----

Sam sat in the waiting area of the ER and sighed. He was sure that he must have a crease in his backside that was formed perfectly to fit the shape of one of these chairs, he had sat in them that often. He alternated his gaze between the clock on the wall, the doors that they had taken his brother through and the man with the slightly crazed look that was pacing the room like a caged animal.

John had worked out a little circuit, a stop to look out the window, a pause at the food machine, then a glare at the door that they'd taken his son through and finally back to the chair next to Sam. He'd stop for a minute, asked Sam again what the hell was keeping them and then off he'd go again. Two hours Sam had been watching this, worry for his brother vying with the need to get back and research the real cause of why Dean was here in the first place. This was only damage limitation, the doctors couldn't help Dean, not really and Sam felt bad because he felt like he was wasting time his brother might not have. Still, he couldn't go without seeing that Dean was ok for now. He glanced at the clock again and closed his eyes. He tried to think through all the things that they knew about the witch but he couldn't concentrate, his eyes kept opening and flicking up to watch the same door that his dad kept passing and scowling at.

"What is taking so damn long.?!" John thumped his hand off the glass front of the vending machine, causing a chocolate bar to drop free and everyone in the waiting room to jump and turn in his direction.

The little girl sitting only two chairs away from him started to cry and Sam watched as the nurse on duty at the reception and the security guard at the door exchanged words.

He stood and crossed over to his father. "You're not helping and you're going to get us thrown out. Sit." Sam pointed to the chair he had just vacated and then reached into the vending machine and handed the chocolate to the little girl, apologising to the girls' mother as he did. "My father's upset, my brother's was rush in earlier…he's bad." The mother nodded knowingly as Sam's voice broke.

"My husband too." Sam nodded and walked over, taking the chair next to his dad.

"You don't have to apologise for me." John smiled at the mother as he whispered angrily to Sam.

"Apparently I do." Sam threw himself into the chair next to John just as the sound of raised voices drifted through from the other side of the doors. Both Winchesters stood and headed forwards, recognising the sound of Dean's voice. Well, thought Sam as he crossed the room, it least we know he's feeling better.

A rather harassed looking nurse burst through the doors in front of them. "I'm looking for the family of Dean Andrews?"

"That'll be me. I'm his father." John stepped past Sam and the nurse smiled with what looked like relief.

"Your son's awake."

"I kinda guessed that from the noise behind you."

"The doctor would like to speak to you."

John smiled for the first time all day. "I bet he does."

They walked through to a small room on the right, just inside the doors, to find Dean sitting sideways on the bed arguing with the doctor. Even the flush on his face from the heated debate with the doctor couldn't disguise how pale his skin still was. John's smile slipped.

"I'm not staying in overnight. Get me my damned clothes." Dean was trying to pull the IV line from his arm and the doctor was manfully trying to stop him. The cannula was already on the floor.

"Dean!" John stepped forward into the room and Dean stopped struggling and looked at him.

"Dad. I'm feeling better, I don't want to stay." His son protested.

John took in the pale face before him and the rasp in his voice and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, 'cos you look and sound better."

John turned to the doctor. "Can we have a word outside." The doctor nodded and stepped out of the area that Dean was in. John turned to his sons.

"You." He pointed at Dean. "Get back into that bed until I tell you that you can do otherwise, and leave the damned IV alone." He turned towards Sam. "And you. Make sure he does." Both sons opened their mouths to say something but John silenced them with a hand and walked outside to where the doctor was standing. Letting out a sigh he lent against the wall. "Well? What happened?"

"You're son 's fever broke on it's own just a short while after he arrived, he was dehydrated so we started the IV." The doctor checked the notes. "Has your son ever suffered from these type of migraine like attacks before?"

"No."

"And you said that he was sick and brought up a lot of blood? Can you define a lot for me?"

"It was quite a lot, not just a bust blood vessel with him being sick…it wasn't streaks of blood in the vomit it was streaks of vomit in the blood."

"It was red?" The doctor took out his pen.

"Yeah, looked fresh."

John watched him as he noted something and then the doctor continued. "Once the fever broke and we started the IV, Dean responded well. He came round about twenty minutes ago….we were quite surprised, he was almost coma-like when you brought him in….the blood still should be checked properly so I wanted to do a scope, have you heard of a Mallory-Weiss tear?"

John shook his head.

"It's a small tear in the membrane of the esophagus, where it connects to the stomach. Mallory-Weiss tears don't happen very often. They are usually caused by forceful or long-term vomiting or coughing. The tear may be followed by vomiting bright red blood, that's what we think happened here. You did say he was violently sick the first time?"

"Yeah, he was. He was in pain."

The doctor nodded, scribbling on the file he had again. "It usually heals in about 10 days without treatment but we want to do the scope to confirm it. On top of that we also have no idea what caused the headaches and the nausea in the first place so we want to observed him, run a few tests and possibly do a scan if there is a re-occurence. He got a little bit upset when we told him that he'd have to stay in overnight."

"I'll bet he did…if you give me a minute, I'll talk to him." John walked back into the room, closed the door and smiled at his son. "Well how are you feeling?"

"A lot better…look I'm sorry if I scared you both." He looked over to were Sam was. "I feel fine now, and…." …he lowered his voice…. "…we know that the scope and scan aren't gonna fine anything so why can't I just go home?"

John walked over to where Sam was standing. "Ok."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and his eyes lit up too. "Really?" The voice though had a hint of caution in it. That had been too easy.

He was right.

"If you can walk all the way over to Sam and I here…you can go home."

Dean's face fell. "Bastard." He whispered the curse under his breath but John still heard it and smirked. Dean hopped off the bed and took a hesitant step forward. He still felt like crap and was trying hard not to show it. He was tired, still felt dizzy and the fact that he'd thrown up just about everything he'd eaten in the last two days all conspired against him. He knew he wasn't going to make it that far, not without help…didn't mean he wasn't going to try though.

"Loosen the death grip on the IV stand." John folded his arms but Sam could tell his father was ready to move if Dean showed any signs of falling.

Dean let go, took one step forward and folded.

John caught him before he was halfway to the floor. "Back into bed."

"But Dad…." Dean so hoped that didn't sound so much as a whine on the outside as it did in his head.

John helped him back up on the bed. "Listen, something is bringing these attacks on, until we find out what, it's safer for you to be here."

"But they can't stop them."

"No, but neither can we at the moment. They can help and they can give you pain relief that we can't and stuff to stop you being so badly sick. Sam and I are gonna go and get the research done on this, try to find out what the trigger is to the attacks. If we can find that then we can try and avoid it happening."

Dean huffed. "So you're gonna make me have a scope and a scan done just to give you time to do research? Thanks."

"Watch you don't fall over that lip and hurt yourself again." Sam decided to join the conversation.

"Bite me." Dean settled back on the bed and suddenly couldn't resist the urge to close his eyes. "Shouldn't you be away already, trying to find a way to get me healthy instead of giving me crap?"

John looked over to his youngest son. "Sam, I'll stay here a little while, just until they settle your brother in a ward or a room. Why don't you go and get started?"

"But…."

Dean flicked opened his eyes. "Just go…the sooner you find it the sooner I get out of here and get to stay out. Think you can solve this overnight and spared me getting poked and prodded tomorrow?"

Sam smiled. "No but I'll probably find it just after that."

Dean grinned. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

John sighed loudly. "Ok, now that you guys have got the loving endearments out of the way, do you think you can go and get started and you can shut up for five minutes and get some rest?"

Sam raised his hands. "I'm going. Glad he's staying with you though. Have fun."

"Sam?" His son paused in the doorway as John called him. "Tell the doctor your brother's staying for me."

"No problem." Sam caught Dean's eye again. "I'll see you later, try and rest up."

"Yeah, later."

John turned to Dean once Sam was gone. "Right, how bad is it really?"

Dean looked down at his hands.

"Dean?"

"Just now? It's just a little niggle in the back of my head, I can feel it when it starts though, it's like a train rumbling down the track, even if you're not looking you can feel it, hear it approaching…I just can't get out the way. Why is it coming and going like this though? Surely if she wants me dead all she has to do is keep the juice amped for a little longer. Why do I get better in between?"

"She's screwing with you. The little reprieves make it worse when it hits you again, she leaves it running then you'd get used to it, be able to block it a little, this way prolongs the agony. It is getting worse each time?"

Dean nodded. "I think, when the headache hits I can't really tell. What do you think is triggering it?"

"No idea at the moment, but I aim to find out."

There was a knock on the door. They looked up to see a young nurse standing in the doorway. "We'll be taking him up in a few minutes. Can you wait outside please?"

"Fine." John stood. "I'll wait and come up and see you, make sure you're settle before I go."

Dean hesitated for a second and then spoke. "Nah, just go…I'm feeling pretty tired, probably fall asleep before you even get allowed back in. Just go…I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." John ruffled his son's hair. "You get some sleep then, I'll be here in a heartbeat if you need me."

"Thanks."

John took in Dean's weak smile and was loathed to leave him but he desperately wanted to find what was causing the attacks. If they could solve that it would buy them a little more time to break the hex completely. "If you're sure. I'll see you in the morning."

Dean waited until his father was gone, relieved that he no longer had to hide that he still felt a little sore and sick. He rolled onto his side clutching his stomach; then he let himself have the luxury of a few tears.

---

Sam had finished his destruction of the room that his brother collapsing had cut short earlier. Looking round at the shredded mattresses and the damage to any suspect lump in the wall he didn't think that his Dad would approve of the method and he wasn't going to be happy at the result either. He'd found nothing, even ripping apart Dean's bag to check the lining and rummaging through all the stuff inside it. Dean wasn't going to be exactly thrilled at his brother going through his stuff and trashing his bag but if he had found something it would have been worth it, as it was….he could just about sit down and cry.

Instead he gathered the hex bags that his father had found and sat down at the table.

Sam opened the hex bags, making sure that he noted where each one was found and what was in it. He was using his laptop like a white board, putting his findings into a flowchart and linking anything that was a match between the victims. Although his Dad hadn't searched the houses in any particular order Sam noted that the seven houses he had found bags in belong to the first victims. He noted at the side to check if she had changed her pattern after that. Each hex bag had a coin and a wishbone in them but the rest of the contents were different. That fact was duly noted on the chart too.

Sam was starting on his father's notes from the interviews when John came in carrying take-out. He placed it down in front of Sam.

"Your brother chased me too. I thought you might be hungry."

Sam took the bag and lifted out the burger, not realising until his stomach growled that he hadn't eaten since breakfast with Dean.

John's phone rang as he reached for his and sat down. "Yes this is Agent Horne…..when did you find this…can I come round just now, I like to see it…yes, I think it could be important. No, thank you for calling."

John stood again and threw his jacket back on. "Make that a to go. That was one of the victim's wives….sounds like she found a hex bag."

Sam stood and grabbed the food and his own jacket. "Is it one of the houses you haven't checked?"

John turned. "No. That's just it, I already checked this house. She found it taped to the back of her husband's sock drawer."

"You didn't check his sock drawer?"

John scowled at him.

"It was just a question." Sam tried to look innocent.

"Dresser would have been the first place I looked in any of the houses."

"So how did it get there? Did she have someone else working with her?"

"That is what I aim to find out. Why though would you put the hex in place after the guy's already dead?"

"You wouldn't."

"So you would think. Come on."

They got in the car and headed out, a little glimmer of hope, that maybe this was a break, lighting in each one of them.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Ok, so they guys finally have something to look into, how did John, of all people, miss the hex bag??

You'll find out soon....

Cheers Mary xx

Previous


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hello people!!

Well John and Sam may have a lead but Dean is the only one with time on his hands. What will he do with it?

Dying To Be Right

-

Dean was bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

He was feeling slightly better, there was nothing on the TV to watch and he had nothing to do but stare at the IV and wonder if he should just pull it out and go. Then his father's face loomed large in his head and he decided that maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea.

Too cap it all he wasn't even allowed to eat and his stomach was beginning to let him know just what it thought of that, what had started as quiet rumbles were turning into frequent groans of protest. "When I get out of here I'm going to eat a whole cow and I don't even care if it's dead first." He sat up and eyed the IV again.

"Need something to distract me."

His little light bulb switched on in his head.

He grabbed the call button, pressed it and then sat tapping his fingers on the bedcovers.

He waited.

The overly cheery nurse, a woman in her late fifties, stuck her head round the door. "Hey sweetie, you need something?"

_I need you not to call me sweetie! Kinda gives me the chills._ He pushed the thought away and gave her his best smile. "I've sorry to be a pest, you don't have a pen and some paper I could have?"

"To draw or write on?"

He just managed to resist rolling his eyes at her in disgust. "Write." _He bit back the 'lady I'm not six' remark that was hanging on the end of his tongue. _

"Hold on."

He went back to tapping his fingers on the bed again.

Finally after what seemed to him like hours she walked back in, notebook and a pen in hand. "These do?"

She handed them over and he gave her a grateful smile. She touched her hand to his cheek. "You need anything else sweetie?"

_Yeah, my clothes, my phone and my gun, something to friggin' eat and you not to touch me ever again! _"No, thank you….this is great."

She mussed his hair. "Such nice manners, and you're a cutie…I bet the girls just go wild for you?"

_Do that again and I'm gonna break your fingers. How would that be for manners?_ He just smiled tensely.

An alarm went off somewhere and she hurried away.

_Thank you God!. _He breathed a sigh of relief and opened the pad.

_Right something is setting off these attacks, so where was I and what was I doing when they happened?_

He started to write and then stopped as a thought struck him. He wrote his own name on one side of the page and Sam's across from it.

_She did say that Sam was the one that was going to kill me after all. _

He started his list.

----

John was standing in the house of the eighth victim for the third time that day and Sam was beside him with what was clearly a hex bag in his hand.

"I know it might be nothing but you did say to call if I found anything unusual at all and well I think that…" ….she pointed to the bag…. "….counts as unusual. It wasn't there earlier." John didn't want to tell her that he knew that already but he couldn't resist the smug look he threw Sam's way. The widow continued talking. "I know it's silly but I put his clothes out for him every morning, just like I always have. It just makes me feel closer to him…it was when I was putting the stuff back that I found this."

"It's certainly unusual Mrs Jones and I don't think it's strange, we all deal with grief in our own way." John ignored the look that Sam gave him. "Do you mind if we take a look upstairs and see exactly where you found it?"

"No, not at all, it's this way." They followed her upstairs and into the master bedroom.

"Mrs Jones, has anyone else been upstairs in your house since your husband past away?" John made a pretence of looking round the room that he had already been in only this morning. He wondered if she'd seen the broken catch yet on the downstairs window.

"No. Not the I know of…but the wake was held here so there could have been."

John coughed his best fake cough and smile at the woman whose house it was. "I was wondering if you could fetch me a glass of water please?"

"Yes. I'll just be a minute."

She hurried off and John strode over to the dresser, pulled out the drawer and examined it. There were tape marks at the back of it.

"They don't look all that fresh. Seems you did miss it after all there John." Sam couldn't resist the little dig at his father.

"Listen smart ass…I don't know what kinda sloppy grunt work that you and your brother do but I don't miss things. Especially things that are right in my face."

Sam ran his hand along the tape residue. "Well this has been on that drawer for a while so if you didn't miss it…how did you not see it?"

John smiled a cold little smile. "Like I said…a smart ass. Watch for her coming back." He emptied the drawer and took it into the ensuite bathroom. Sam half watched the hall and his father. John dug in his pocket, pulled out his knife and a little bag, he scraped the remains of the tape and a little of the wood from the back of the drawer and dropped it into the bag. He threw it and the knife back in his pocket and then put the drawer and its contents back.

"She's coming." Sam stepped back from the door and John moved over beside him, opening the hex bag and making a show of examining the contents.

"Here you go." She handed John the glass and he thanked her for it. "I know Gary's death was strange, the way he was so bad so quickly and then the way that it was coming and going but I don't see why the FBI are interested in him?" She pointed at the hex bag. "What is that anyway?"

"That's what we aim to find out ma'am. There have been a few similar death in the area, healthy people that have suddenly been struck down and then dying, we're just trying to ensure that it isn't foul play or that there isn't a disease that we've missed. Isn't looking that way so far. We're just being thorough."

John handed back the glass and signalled to Sam. "We'll we've imposed on you enough this evening. Thank you for the call and your time…we'll be sure to call you when we know what this is."

The two men said their goodbyes and got in John's truck. "Ok, what say I rip this damn thing apart and see if we can't find a way to break the hex and you can work on what's causing your brother's episodes?

Sam smiled at him. "Seems like a plan to me."

"Let's go then." John turned the truck and headed back to the motel.

---

Dean sat with the notepad on his knees chewing the end of the pen. His list wasn't very long and it wasn't showing a definite pattern.

He'd had three attacks; the diner, the motel room and out at the car. Sam had been with him on two occasions but missing at the third.

He tried to think what else had been happening. Sam and him had been arguing the first time, but not the other twice.

He had been eating the first time as well but again not the other twice.

He wished he could actually scratch at the itch in his brain. He tapped his fingers again.

Dad and Sam were fighting the second time it happened, he remembered asking them to quit before he was sick, but Dad wasn't there the third time.

He suddenly remembered his phone beeping at him, letting him know there was a call waiting, as the headache had hit him in the car. He had called Sam so the only other person that would be calling him was Dad.

The little idea grew. What if Dad had called Sam first? What if they had got into a fight over the phone? Would that be enough to trigger it? Was it Sam getting angry that was causing it?

He jumped off the bed, shut the drip off and disconnected his IV. Quietly he crossed the room and stuck his head out the door. The nurses where still down in the room at the end of the corridor and he could see what he wanted sitting on the desk not fifty yards from him.

He needed to test his theory, he needed a phone.

---

Sam jumped when his phone rang, withheld showing on the caller ID.

"Hello."

"Hey duffus, it's me. You guys found anything yet?" Dean was under the desk with the phone in his lap, praying that the nurse wouldn't walk round and catch him.

"Dean? Where are you, how did you get to a phone?"

John interrupted. "Whatever your brother is doing, tell him to get that ass of his back into a bed before I come down there and kick it."

"I heard." Dean didn't have to have Sam relay the message. "Tell him if you guys don't get your fingers out your own asses, I won't need a bed…it'll be a box. I mean, your _supposed _to be the smart one Sam, so what the hell is keeping you!"

"Well maybe if you'd stop collapsing and distracting me!" Sam was startled by the attack, angry that his brother thought he wasn't trying and at his tone.

"Yeah blame the guy that's dying from the killer headaches and the gut wrenching chuck-ups."

"You're a piece of work Dean Winchester do you know that. Three times you've collapsed on me now and scared the shit out of me and now your feeling better I've got to listen to this crap. We'll solve it Dean don't worry about that, and when we do…I just might kill you myself, just for the sheer hell of it. Now get you're ass back in the bed where it belongs and let me and Dad get on with the damn job." He disconnected the call and glared at his father.

John looked over, eyebrows raised. "What the hell was that all about?"

"I have no idea, I think he's freaking again 'cos of the hospital thing but it doesn't give him the right to call me up and give me shit."

"He might not be feeling well Sam and he's worried even though he wouldn't just come right out and say it."

"That's right, you take Dean's side. I hope he chokes on the damn scope." Sam turned and stared out the window not understanding why Dean had just done what he had.

"I'm not taking sides."

"You always take sides, just like he does. My opinion and feelings never seem to count in this family. The two of you are like your own secret society, I just get to tag along."

"That's not true." John turned his head briefly to stare at his son. "We work cases as a team."

"Yeah, I do all the research and then you and Dean get to do the hunt, occasionally throwing me a bone and letting me in on the act."

"So Dean is better with the practical things and you're good with the books, that's what makes us a team Sam, work to your strengths."

"Well I'm sick of it, sick of sitting waiting for you both to come back from hunts and see what's happened to you this time, whether you've actually managed to get one of yourselves killed. I mean the witch hunt is the first time that I've got to go on the hunt in ages and then you blamed me for letting her get the jump on me."

"Well if the cap fits."

Sam huffed loudly and glared out of the window again.

------

"Oh crap. It worked."

Dean hadn't even got out from underneath the nurse's desk when the tingle in his head started to grow. He dropped the pad and the pen on the floor and gripped the edge of the desk to pull himself to his feet. Nausea and dizziness swamped him.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to be proved right or not now as the all too familiar feeling in his head and stomach ramped up.

This time is was coming thick and it was coming fast. He screamed as the pain punched into his skull and he managed to stagger to the front of the desk and then he dropped to his knees.

"Oh God no."

His stomach started to cramp and he fought not to be sick again, he had nothing to bring up, he knew that. There were hands on him now, voices nearby, but all he could do was try to ride the pain out and not be sick. He really didn't want to be sick again.

His body had other ideas.

He could taste the blood in his mouth as he felt what felt like his whole insides force their way up into his throat and he heaved, splattering the crisp blue flooring with scarlet tone of the voice around him changed, urgency in them now…someone calling his name.

_I'm still here and I know what's causing it. Please God, don't let me go under before I can tell him. Sam don't be angry anymore…please don't be angry_.

God wasn't listening.

A white heat exploded through him and he felt it as his heart hitched and then stopped. He wondered briefly how he could _feel _his heart stopping and then it didn't matter anymore because where ever his heartbeat had gone too…the rest of him just went with it. He gave one more blood filled cough and then it was lights out.

-----

Sam glared at the 'withheld' on his father's phone which was sitting on the table in front of him. If this was his brother calling back again for another argument….he almost let it go to voicemail. He answered it as John came out the bathroom.

"Hello, is that Mr John Andrews?" The voice was authoritive and calm but there was an edge to it that Sam didn't like.

"No it's his son, can I help you?"

"This is Nurse Johnston. Is your father there?"

Sam's heart gave a little leap. "Is it my brother? Has something happened?"

"I think it would be best if I spoke to your father. Can you put him on please?"

Sam held the phone up. "Hospital. They won't talk to me."

They exchanged a worried look, John hesitating before he snatched the phone out of Sam's hand. "This is John Andrews, it is Dean? Did something happen?"

"Mr Andrews, we need you to come down to the hospital straight away."

"What is it? What happened?"

"Dean's heart stopped Mr Andrews, we got him back but he's in intensive care. I really think you need to get here as soon as possible."

John grabbed the car keys and was heading for the door. "I'm on my way."

Sam jumped up and went to follow. John stopped him. "I need you to stay here and find out what's causing these damned attacks, we need to find the trigger before it's too late…finding the friggin' hex bag would be good too."

"I'll take it with me, go over it in the waiting room or Dean's room." Sam was stuffing everything on the desk into his bag with his laptop. "What happened?"

John stood for a moment.

"Dad?" Sam felt a chill run through him at the look that briefly crossed his father's face.

John looked down, gathered himself and then locked eyes with Sam. "Dean coded. He's in ICU."

"He what!?" Sam stood opened mouthed. "I you actually thought that I'd stay here and do research when my brother's had a freakin' heart attack!? Do you see what I mean about you not taking my feelings into account?" Sam pushed past him to the door. "Well? Are you coming or not?"

Sam stomped off and John wiped his hand across his face and they hurried out to the truck and the hospital.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Well 'll leave it there for now. *evil laugh*

Thanks for the reviews folks, glad you like this one. Mary x


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi there

Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Glad you guys are liking this.

Now...see how I kinda left you with a cliffie on the last chapter can I just say that I'm sorry now for what I do in this one. :) (I'm going straight to hell and Dean isn't even there anymore to keep me company!)

A couple of little back observations by the witch in this and a little extra info that the boys might wish they had!

Where do we go from here?

**Before**

_She stood watching the two young men in the diner across the street from where she was standing. They were brothers, sons of the hunter who was looking for her, even if she didn't know that already she could have told. _

_Theirs was an intimacy that overrode just friendship but didn't stray far enough over for lovers. Oh, there was the love, the care and the concern borne of a relationship; the laughter and the tears; the anger and the sadness; but no lust or desire. _

_They were blood. They were family. _

_She hadn't made it hard for them, there were clues in what she had done, but you had to know where to look to find them and then work to piece them together. _

_The elder brother was the hunter. Tall and well built, he had a disarming charm about him that she was sure in the right circumstances would be lethal. The younger was the tracker, if not a traditional one, using technology to find their prey. He was taller and leaner that his older sibling, less graceful because of it but he too had an easy charm about him, an innocence lacking in his brother eyes. She had watched one gather the information that they needed to hunt her down and the other make sense of it all, sorting the random issues into a clear pattern that she knew led to her. Each one excelled at their role within the team, each one so very clever in his own way. _

_The eldest was also the peacekeeper, stepping in between his younger and more violate brother and their father to calm the waters when the storms began to brew. She had watched time and again as he has stepped in; soothed his father; calmed his brother; defused the flames of anger that burned hot and brightly between them. She knew that without him there would be no one to ease their ire. _

_That was how she was going to destroy them. _

_She could see the pain that the almost constant quibbles and arguments between his family caused him. See how much it hurt that they fought as often and as hard as they did. _

_She smiled. _

_She was going to make his pain real, so real that every time his brother raised his voice in anger, the elder would be brought to his knees until, with a final cry of rage the brother that he fought so hard to protect would be the one that brought death to him. _

_Without him, the others would simple tear each other apart. _

_They were almost upon her and she was running out of places to hide. Soon they would come and hunt her down. She wouldn't let them win without paying a price though. _

_An eye for an eye. _

_She walked down and over to the motel room that they were sharing. Making short work of the door she walked over to the bags that lay on the beds. Without looking in them she could tell which one belonged to her target. Even in the virtual safety of this room the elder child would still protect his brother from the evils that may try and walk through their door. _

_She opened the bag she wanted and slit the inside lining. Quickly she slid the small bag into the opening and then she close her eyes and uttered a small chant. She laid her hands on the bag. _

_"Obscura." _

_She smiled as the slit faded before her. Closing the bag she left the room and walked over to the car outside, lovingly running her hand down the side of it. It was a thing of beauty and she knew that its owner coveted it. Leaning over it she took a white marker from her pocket and quickly drew the sigils that she wanted on its roof. She repeat the chant and the word. A little laughter bubbled up in her as they faded from sight. Even if they found her hex they wouldn't find this. _

_If the anger of his brother didn't kill him then his love of this car would. _

_It was after all, his family too. _

_It would destroy him and then it would destroy them. Make them distraught that they had missed this. Something so obvious that it was hiding in plain sight. _

_She let the laugh escape and disappeared into the street. _

---

_**Now**_

Dean slowly started to surface.

The pain in his chest seemed to radiate out causing his arms to tingle in an unpleasant way. He knew that he had at least one tube in his throat and he could feel other tubes and, he was sure, wires that now ran from him to the machines that were extensions of his own existence. They were keeping him here, helping his battle. He tried to will his eyes open but could barely manage a flutter.

Voices floated around his head, talking to him and about him and then there was a sharp, brief pain in his leg and all the other aches started to dissipate. They'd given him something to ease his discomfort, that was obvious, but it wasn't what he wanted. He needed to be able to tell Sam what he'd found, needed Sam to know so that they could stop the attacks. Dean fought the numbing sensation that was now flowing freely through his veins but it was too much and the relief was too great, so he finally welcomed it.

It overcame him and sucked him back down into nothing.

---

John burst into the reception area and strode up to the desk ignoring the little line of people.

They took one look at his face and no one tried to stop him.

" I got a call….my son Dean, they told me to come straight away." He barked at the girl behind the desk.

The nurse smile apologetically at the man she was dealing with and turned to her computer, looking up briefly at John. "What's Dean's second name?"

"Andrews, he's under Andrews."

He took in the little bit of sympathy that shone on her face before she schooled it back to a professional air. "Just a minute." She buzzed an extension. "Julie? It's Clare. Dean Andrews' family are here." She paused, obviously listening to instructions. "Thanks Julie, I'll send them up."

She smiled softly at John. "Dean's on the fourth floor. If you take that elevator behind you there, Julie will be waiting for you."

John nodded his thanks and the two Winchesters walked silently over and called the elevator, neither speaking at all on the short journey to the ICU floor, each lost in their own thoughts.

A young nurse in her early twenties was waiting to greet them as they stepped off on the floor. "Hi, Mr Andrews? I'm Julie, Dr. Wallace's room is right here, he'd like to speak to you before you see Dean."

John went to protest just as the doctor stepped out in the corridor, drawn by the sound of voices. "It's ok Julie, I'll take it from here. Can you check on Dean for me again, see if there has been any change?"

"I will."

She turned and headed off, John watching as she disappeared into a room a few doors down. He looked down as the doctor touched his arm.

"I know that you're anxious to see Dean, but I'd like a quick word first. Is this your other son?" Sam nodded. "Perhaps you'd like to wait here."

John took Sam's arm and pulled him to him. "No, if you've something to tell me, my son should hear it too." Sam shot him a grateful look.

"Alright." The doctor gestured to his office and following John and Sam through he signalled to the seats and then rounded his desk to his own.

The man studied the notes in front of him briefly.

"Dean was found in the corridor, down at the nurse's station. The nurse on duty had spoken to him less than an hour before and he was fine. There had been an emergency on the floor and they were dealing with it when Dean collapsed. It seemed to them that he was having another migraine attack, or a seizure, when they got to him. He was on his knees and extremely distressed. Shortly after they found him he was violently sick again. What he brought up was all blood. The nurses managed to get him up and back to the room, but it looks as if the stress of the seizure and the vomiting triggered a heart attack. Dean went into cardiac arrest…his heart stopped. We managed to get him back but we've had to ventilate him, he's on support and continuous pain relief."

The doctor ran his hand through his hair.

"To be honest, I've never seen anything quite like this. It came on so suddenly, it behaves like Dean has a cardiac problem but our previous tests show that isn't the case. He's bleeding into his stomach and we haven't been able to find out where it's coming from or been able to stop it. We've put in a drain but he's too weak to operate on. He just wouldn't make it I'm afraid."

John watched the tells of nervousness in the man before him, knowing what he was about to hit him with. He saved him the bother. "Dean's dying, it's he?"

He saw Sam swivel his head towards him and he put an hand on his son's knee but never took his eyes from the doctor.

He watched the man in front of him shift uncomfortably in his seat and swallow hard. "I'm sorry. We've put him on a morphine driver to keep him comfortable, but there's really nothing else that we can do for him."

"I want to see my son." John stood. "Now."

"Of course, this way." The doctor turned to Sam. "Your brother has a lot of tubes and wires in and on him, but he's not in any pain at the moment, you need to keep hold of that thought when you see him."

---

The lights in the room were dipped, just the little light next to the bed on casting an almost ethereal glow on Dean's pallid skin. The Winchester's broke rank to stand either side of the bed in which Dean lay. His skin was paler than the sheets that covered him except for the deep black circles surrounding his eyes. Sam eyed the banks of machines that were on both sides of his brother; the ventilator pumping breath into his lungs; the monitors on his chest and hands; the drips in both his arms.

Dean was absolutely still. Not even the tiniest flicker of life escaped him. Only the ventilator moved in the room. All three Winchester were frozen in the moment. The doctor slipped out quietly.

Sam finally broke his inertia by taking his brother's hand and leaning over him. "Dean? I don't know if you can hear me but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be angry with you. Please don't…." …he couldn't force himself to use the word die….. "…go without me getting to at least tell you that. Keep fighting it big brother…for me….please." Sam felt a hand on his shoulder. His Dad had moved round to stand behind him.

"It's gonna be ok Sam. It is."

Sam picked up his bag from where he had placed it on the floor. "I'm going to find out what is causing this." He put the bag on the table at the bottom of the bed and wheeled it in front of the chair that was beside Dean's bed. Lowering the table he pulled out his father's notebook from the bag and put the rest on the floor. He opened the book and started with the interviews that John had done with the surviving family members.

John stood for a minute watching him and then he headed for the door.

Sam's head shot up. "Where are you going?"

"I need to make a call, I won't be long." John gave Dean one last little look and then slipped out the door.

Sam sighed and started to read the first interview.

The first victim had been a thirty five year old woman, married with two kids. Joanne Grey. Hospitalised three times with bleeding from her womb until the last time they brought her in and she bled to death in front of them. Her husband had come home from working late and found her. John had managed to prise out of the guy that he hadn't actually been 'working' late, unless you called getting in on with your secretary in the office 'work'.

He flicked to the second victim. Thirty four. Male. Paul Scott. His wife had been out shopping each time that he had had an attack. His legs had gone out from under him and he had been unable to walk yet by the time they had got to the hospital it had passed. The last time he took a DVT and then a pulmonary embolism, the onset of both being so quick that he was dead before he got to hospital. The official line was that it must have somehow been missed at the previous incident.

The third was a woman, Pauline Adams, her son had skipped school and found her, brain hemorrhage. Seems the son had found her three times previously, collapsed and unconscious during the day.

The fourth victim had had more fun before he died. Five suspected heart attacks while with his wife in bed. Sam raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't you stop after the first couple?" John had obviously had the same idea. He'd asked the wife that.

"Only Dad could get away with that, Dean woulda got slapped and I wouldn't have been able to ask in the first place!"

The widow's answer was that her husband had a very healthy appetite for sex. John had written ' not shared' in the notebook next to the reply. Six time was a charm - he came and then he went – Sam laughed out loud at his father's note wishing that he could have shown it to his brother, knowing that he would have chuckled too.

Unlike Dean's the incidences had been spread out over a month or so, although like Dean each one had escalated in strength until finally the victim had died.

Sam shook his head.

There was nothing to tie what was done to these people together, why she had killed them the way she had. They knew already that she had targeted these people on purpose. She had went to school with them and each one had wronged her in their own way, and she had paid them back in spades for their treatment of her. She'd spaced the killings out and changed them just enough for the police and the hospital not to tie things together, but Bobby had. He knew the father of one of the victims, had gone to the funeral and the talk of classmates and school friends dying pricked up his ears. He'd worked out the link. He had been helping Caleb with another job though and had passed this one to John. Sam almost wished Bobby hadn't but then it might be him here instead of Dean and that would have been almost as bad. Almost.

He stood and looked over Dean again. He wasn't sure but he thought that his brother's colour was slightly better than before. "Why did you do that? Why did you phone me up and try and make me mad at you? What if we can't fix this Dean and the last time I spoke to you I was mad at you?"

"Told you before, we're gonna fix this. How's the research going?"

Sam turned at the sound of his Dad's voice and quickly wiped his face. "Just going over your notes, see if I can't make a connection. Who did you call?"

"Pastor Jim."

"Pastor Jim?" Sam shot him a worried look.

John walked over to stand beside him. "Not for that, Jim's an expert on witchcraft, he's taking down a few covens in his day, I want him to look at the bags, see if he can figure out a way to stop this." John pulled a flask and two plastic bags from his pocket.

"What's that?" Sam lifted up the bags and examined the contents.

"One's the scrapings from the eighth victim's house. The other's a mixture to test something, sorry I was so long, Jim was giving me instructions for it over the phone, I had to get the stuff I needed from the truck." He poured some of the contents from the flask out in the lid and emptied the scrapings into it. Sam watched as he then tipped the powder in on top. The liquid turned blue and his father cursed. "She's cloaking the bags. Jim thinks that they stay cloaked for a while after the victim dies, just to be sure that if the death is investigated the relatives probably wouldn't even tie the one to the other…not that they're likely to anyway."

"So the hex bag's cloaked. How the heck to we find it then?"

"Jim's got a liquid formula that he's been working on for years, it works on the cloak the way luminol works on blood. He's bringing it with him, we'll spray the room and the car, hope that something turns up."

"And it if doesn't?" Sam looked up at him and then glanced back to Dean.

"Well then my incredibly smart younger son will have found the trigger and we'll have more time to widen the search." John smiled at him reassuringly. "I need to meet Jim at the motel, chances are the hex is there….I hate to do this but will you stay here with Dean? Call me if anything happens?"

Sam could see how torn his father was between leaving him there on his own, leaving Dean and getting this resolved before something else happened to trigger another attack and kill his brother. "It's fine Dad, like you said…we're gonna sort this. You can't do that standing here."

John left and Sam decided to re-write the notes into a list form, see if there was anything that he was missing. He didn't want to fire up the laptop with the machines in the room, not knowing if it would interfere with them, but not willing to risk it. He hunted through his bag for a pen and sighed when he came up empty. The notebook that his father had been using was full too. He stood.

"I'm just going to see if I can get a pen and some paper. Be good."

Sam stilled for a moment, wondering it his brother's eyes had moved under his closed lids. He stayed there for a few minutes but there was nothing so he left to go find the nurse.

He had just reached the desk when the alarms went off in Dean's room and he turned and hauled ass back in.

The sight that greeted him stopped him dead in his tracks.

Dean had pulled the monitors off him as he had moved his hands up to grip his target.

His hands were bleeding where the IV's had been ripped from them.

He had grabbed the ventilator tube and was yanking it from his lungs. Two nurses brushed past Sam and desperately tried to restrain him.

Sam started forward. "Dean! No! Stop it!"

Dean was on auto, he had decided that he no longer wanted the tube in his throat and it was going, and no one was going to stop him getting it free.

The doctor came into the room and called out to the two nurses to let Dean be. "You'll hurt him more if you try to stop him, just let him get it over with."

Dean was retching the tube out of his mouth, slowly yanking another inch with each spasm.

All they could do was watch.

Sam felt that he was looking at his brother committing suicide, knowing that that tube was what was keeping Dean breathing.

Sam turned to the doctor just as the tube finally slipped free and Dean let out a long low moan and then fell back on the bed and passed out.

"How the heck is he supposed to breath?"

Sam looked at the three faces in front of them and realised that he had just voiced their own thoughts.

**Chapter End Notes:**

I have no medical training or knowledge so I apologise if there is anything that you think is off in this chapter if you have. I have tried to keep things kinda general and I am helped by the fact that this is a hex so I can make it do what I want!! Is that cheating or what?? lol

Thanks again folks, I will update soon, promise!!

Mary x :)))


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes

Should have called this story cliffhanger 'cos it is just full of them. But you guys love them really? Don't you? And there are a few more BIG ones to come.

Enjoy!

-

So close and yet

Dean didn't want to be lying here helpless anymore, he needed to talk to Sam, needed to let his brother know how to solve this.

A little bit of his fight had crept back in when he wasn't looking. He used it to fight the numbness, forced it down as he tried to bring himself round. He was almost there, almost on the verge of breaking through into consciousness but there was still the damn tube in his throat.

He needed to talk to Sam and it was in the way.

Dean willed his body to respond to him, willed his arms to work although he was still surprised when they complied. Gripping the offending tube he pulled, retched, and then pulled again. It probably would have been agony if he hadn't been floating on a sea of painkiller and he could feel himself starting to go under with the effort but still he drove himself on. He felt hands on him and he renewed his efforts to just get the damn thing out and then they were gone and he realised that it was more out than in, that he could do this. With one final huge effort he yanked the last of it free and took as deep a breath as he could manage, which wasn't really all that much and then, despite his best efforts not to…he blacked out.

---

Doctor Wallace stepped forward and Sam watched as he asked the nurse to fetch something. "Dean? Dean, can you hear me?"

Sam watched for any sign that his brother reacted to the doctor's voice but there was none. He moved over to beside him and found that if he looked hard enough he could just make out the shallow movements of Dean's chest. "Dean?" He studied his brother's face for any kind of reaction but there was none. "What now? Are you gonna put it back in?"

The doctor shook his head. "Not worth the distress we might cause him." The nurse came back in with the cannula in his hand and they hooked it up and got it in Dean's nose.

"Will that be enough?"

"We'll have to monitor him, see if he's coping without the ventilator, but I don't want to put it back in unless it's really necessary." The doctor and the nurse worked to get the monitors back in their rightful place and then doctor stepped away to let the nurse reinsert the IV's. "I think we'll take the driver off too. If he needs it, we'll give him pain meds through the IV."

"Why?"

"I want to see if we back off a bit if he'll come round." The doctor checked the monitors and then checked Dean over. "He seems a lot stronger than he was a little while ago. An hour ago he wouldn't have been able to do that, in fact I'm actually still surprised he was."

Sam looked at the doctor's face." What is it?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say your brother was improving, but seeing he was as bad as he was…anything would be a step in the right direction." The doctor looked round the room for the first time. "Where is you father?"

"He had to leave, just for a little while, our minister wanted to come see Dean…Dad went to collect him."

"Oh." The doctor nodded. "Well, it seems the excitement is over for the moment. We'll monitor him every fifteen minutes or so just until we're sure that he's breathing on his own and that it isn't affecting the oxygen supply his body needs. His colour is better than it was."

Sam looked his brother over and saw that the doctor was right. Dean's colour was coming back. Whatever had triggered the attack, it's effects seemed to be easing…all they had to do now was keep it that way.

It was as if the doctor had read his mind. "He seems to be fighting back but we still need to find out what is causing the attacks….if he has another one in this poor state…well let's just say it wouldn't be good."

---

Sam still stood there once the doctor had gone, rooted to the spot beside his brother, watching intently to ensure that he was still breathing. He was aware of the nurse returning and fussing over Dean but he never moved, never took his eyes from his brother's chest. He wasn't sure just how long he stood there until finally he was satisfied that Dean wasn't going to just die in front of him. With a long sigh and a little huff he sat back down on the chair and tried to get his head to work on the notes in front of him.

---

Pastor Jim was waiting for John outside the motel room when he got back. He greeted his fellow hunter with a handshake and cursed as Jim pulled him into a hug. "You look like shit John. When was the last time you slept?"

"Dean's dying in the hospital, what makes you think that I've slept at all?"

Jim looked his old friend over. "How bad is it?"

"At the moment, it's bad. He's on life support and I don't have a friggin' clue what's triggering the attacks he keeps having. Jim, one more and he might not make it." John dropped his head. "If I lose him…."

"Hey, we are not going to lose Dean. Understand?" He walked over to his car and pulled out his bag. "I've brought a half dozen spray bottles of the stuff that I told you about, let's see if we can't find this damn hex bag. I take it Sam's sitting with Dean while we do this?"

"Yeah, he's trying to figure out from the other victims of her hexes what the trigger for Dean's attacks would be."

"Well if anyone is going to work that out, it couldn't be in better hands. Come on, let's get started."

The two men entered the room and Jim placed his bag on the table and pulled out two bottles of pink liquid. He handed one to John. "Ok. It doesn't need a lot, if it hits something it likes the liquid'll turn purple."

John sprayed a little on the table and watched as the surface turned a luminous pink shade. "Does it stay that colour?"

"No, it'll dry in clear but it means at least we know what we've done and can see if we've missed anything."

John forced a smile. "Good 'cos if it hadn't you would have been explaining to Dean why all his clothes were the colour they were!"

Jim laughed. "It would be worth it just to see his face."

John nodded. "Do you want to do in here or the car?"

"I'll do the car, you got Dean's keys?" John pulled the keys from his pocket and handed them to Jim.

---

Sam read through the victims symptoms again and the information that his Dad had gleaned from the relatives and a thought struck him. He thought he'd caught something, he wasn't sure though and to check meant leaving Dean alone again. He stood undecidedly for a moment and then walked over to his brother and took his hand. "I need to make a couple of calls, I'll be just down the hall…..this time I mean it, try and behave ok? No more tube or wire pulling." Sam looked down at his hand and just for one second he felt as if Dean had tightened his grip and then the little extra pressure was gone. Sam lent down and whispered in his brother's ear. "Keep fighting it Dean."

He walked to the door and turned for a last little quick look and then he hurried out to test his theory, notebook and mobile in hand.

Sam walked to the end of the corridor and stopped by the window that looked out onto the carpark. He put the notebook on the ledge and opened his phone, huffing softly when he saw there was no signal. "Great." He turned and walked back along the corridor to the nurses' station.

He smiled as the nurse on duty looked up. "Hi there...Sam isn't it? Can I help you…everything's alright with your brother isn't it?"

"Yeah, no change. I need a phone?"

"There isn't one on this floor but if you go up to six, there's a lounge for relatives up there and it has a payphone in it. It the second door on the right as you exit the elevator."

Sam smiled his thanks at her. "I won't be long."

"We need to check on Dean and do a few things with him anyway so it probably better you're out of the room, we'd have asked you to wait outside in any case."

"Ok, thanks again." Sam headed for the elevator and took it up to the sixth floor. Once he was in the relative room, he sat down in the chair next to the phone and dialed the number from his Dad's notebook.

Paul Grey answered on the third ring.

"Hi, this is Sam Andrews. I'm working with Special Agent Horne, he was looking into the death of your wife and I was wondering if you could answer just a few more questions for us?"

"Haven't I answered enough already?" From the sound of his voice Sam knew that Paul Grey had been drinking.

"Just four questions, I promise." Sam took the silence that followed as his permission to ask. "Your wife had four attacks?"

"Yeah."

"Did each one get worse than the previous one and did she recover between them?"

"Yeah…I told you partner this…why are you wasting my time…."

Sam pressed on. "Did you come home and find her each time or did she have any of these attacks while you were in the house?"

"I found her each time."

Sam took a deep breath and hoped that he wasn't just about to be hung up on. "How did your wife feel about you having an affair?"

"How the hell did you think she felt?" Paul's anger spilled down the phone at Sam.

Sam's gut gave a little leap at the conformation.

"She knew though, right….that you were cheating on her?"

Paul's voice changed from angry to strained as he spoke this time. "She knew. It was killing her, ripping her apart inside but I couldn't stop. I wanted to I just couldn't." He heard the hitch in the man's voice and knew that he was crying. "Sex wasn't fun with her anymore. She was desperate for kids, and it was all so clinical. I needed a release. I strayed. She knew…she never said anything…she just wanted me to make her pregnant. I think she was afraid to call me on it, but it broke her up inside. So I'm a bastard. Now she's dead and I won't ever be able to make it up to her. Happy now?"

"No not really, but you've helped us a lot, so thank you." Sam didn't even wait for the man to acknowledge him he just hung up.

He leafed through to get the number for Pauline Adams family and dialled them. "Hi, this is Sam Andrews, I believe you spoke to my partner, Special Agent Horne about your wife's death."

This voice was cold and unemotional, so different from the last man. "I did. How can I help you?"

"I was wondering if I could talk to your son? Just for a moment?"

"No. Gregg's upset by what happened to his mother and finding her like that. I'm afraid you can't talk to him."

"Can I ask you then, please….your wife was she upset that your son skipped school?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Please. I need to know. Someone else is sick and I know that these questions are strange but please…I need you to humour me."

The man sighed and Sam held his breath. "Gregg seems to think that Pauline had these attacks because of him skipping school. He thinks that he somehow stressed her into them. I've told him that's stupid but he knew how much his mother hated it when he skipped out. She was always saying what a waste of a brain."

Sam felt almost giddy at the words. He was right, he was onto something, he could feel it. He thanked the man for his time and sat down in the chair.

The witch had used the families against the victims, sure she had wanted the people she targeted dead for her own reasons but she was making the families suffer too. It had been something they had been doing that had caused the attacks.

Joanne Grey….her husband had said that it was tearing her up inside and she had wanted a baby more than anything. Considering the thing that her husband was doing it was linked to how she died and it also stopped her from getting pregnant which pushed him away further, strained their relationship further and caused Joanne more pain. She had an attack every time he cheated on her.

Pauline Adams had died from a brain hemorrhage and her biggest concern was that her son was wasting his brain by skipping school. She had the attacks when he was doing just that. He was the one that had found her.

_I was the one that was with Dean or found him. It is me…I'm triggering it. But how?_

Sam sat with his head in his hands for a minute trying to think about what they had been doing when Dean's attacks happened. He had been with Dean the first time, and the second….but the third time he had been nowhere near.

He sighed.

He was missing something, he just didn't know what.

---

He dialled his Dad's number next.

"Hello?" John sounded annoyed. Sam didn't think that boded well for the search of the motel and the car.

"It's Sam. How's thing's going?"

"Not good. I've done most of the room and all of Dean's stuff and nothing. How's Dean?"

Sam swallowed hard suddenly realising that his Dad was going to be mad at the fact he hadn't phoned him before now. "He had a little episode."

"What? Was it another attack? What happened?" Sam could hear the anger creeping into his father's voice.

"He pulled the vent."

Sam closed his eyes and waited for the storm. He didn't have to wait long.

"He what?! How the hell did that happen?! Is he ok?! Did they get it back in?! Why aren't you with him, watching him?!"

Sam tried to sit on his annoyance at his father and answer the questions in turn. "He pulled the vent, seems he surfaced enough to decide that he didn't want it in him any longer. He's fine for the moment, they've just got him on oxygen and they're monitoring him. The doctor decided that it would be too stressful for him to have the tube put back in." Sam took a breath. "I had to come upstairs to use the phone, I think I might be onto something but I needed to phone some more of the relatives to make sure."

"So you left him alone to follow a lead?" Sam could taste the annoyance in John's voice.

Sam bristled in return. "You left him to do that too you know!"

"Yeah but I thought you'd be there with him!"

"Well sorry for me wanting to find out what the trigger is!" Sam realised that he was almost shouting and lowered his voice not wanting to get thrown out of the room.

"Whatever Sam, we haven't found anything here yet and we're almost done, so I suggest that you get your ass back down to your brother and sit with him until I get there."

"Yes Sir!" Sam slammed the phone down and huffed out a long low sigh, calming himself as he did.

"Sam Andrews?" An older nurse stuck her head round the door.

Sam was instantly on alert. "That's me. What is it?"

"Nurse Johnston called from the ICU. She needs you down there."

"Crap." Sam was out the door and along the corridor in an instant. He didn't wait for the elevator, just banged his way into the stairs and torn down them three at a time.

The nurse was walking towards him as he burst out the door.

"It's your brother."

Sam felt his own heart stop as panic gripped him.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews, I will be updating them as soon as my e-mail decides to start working again!

Easing back on the cliffies in this one - lulling you all into a false sense of security so be afraid!

Thanks for all the alerts on this too, there are loads. (I think my e-mail died from over use! *smiles*)

Mary x

Almost got to where we are going

"What's wrong?" Sam screeched to a halt almost in the nurse's space.

She held up a calming hand. "Sorry, Dean's pulse was a little off, we thought for a minute that he was going to have another attack…"

Sam started to push past her. "Is he ok?" He hurried into his brother's room and over to the bedside. Dean's face had a grey tinge to it that had crept over his cheeks but he didn't seem to be in any distress.

"He seems to have settled again. His pulse is normal; his breathing is shallow but it's even and he doesn't seem to be struggling anymore. It was so quick but whatever happened to set off the alarms he's stable again for now."

Sam just stood there watching Dean, knowing that they were running out of time and not really sure what to do about it anymore. He closed his eyes as he felt the tears starting to form in them. He wiped the wetness away as he felt the nurse walk up behind him.

"I think you should call your Dad." She caught the horrified look on his face. "Not for that…you need someone here for you....you're tired…you need to rest. You'll be no good to him when he does come round if you're dead on your feet."

Sam turned to her and smiled at her gratefully. "Thank you."

She looked confused. "For what?"

"You said when not if…. and he's going to wake up." Sam's voice broke a little. "He has too."

The nurse gently touched his arm, feeling for the young man. "Do you want anything….a coffee….something to eat? I'll see what I can rustle up for you?"

"Coffee would be fine…thanks." Sam sat back down in the chair next to the bed and took Dean's hand again waiting until she'd walked out the door before he spoke.

"It's my fault Dean. It's something that I'm doing that's causing this. I should know what it is. I'm close. I know that. I'm so tired though Dean…it's sitting there right in front of me and I can't see it even though I'm looking right at it."

Sam knew that he felt the gentle squeeze this time. It caused him to look up and his heart hitched as he stared into the green eyes of his brother.

---

John closed the phone on his youngest son and taking his hand, swiped everything from the top of the TV off onto the floor. "Sonuvabitch!" He swung round as the motel room door was flung open and Jim came hurrying in. The elder man shook his head as he took in his friend.

"I take it that the search is a bust?"

John threw himself down on the bed and bowed his head. "It's got to be here…I mean we know that she hexed him. We know it. So where is the damn thing?!" He threw the spray bottle that he had in his hand at the wall both men watching as the side of the bottle cracked as it impacted and more pink oozed down the already drenched wall. "The whole freakin' room's pink Jim, tell me that I missed something here?"

Jim did a little 360 of the room and shook his head. "No I think you've done a fairly thorough job in here." He sat down beside him. "It's not in the car either John."

"Then we're screwed Jim 'cos I don't know where else to look." The defeat in John's posture broke Jim's heart a little. No matter how badly Jim wanted to call John on his treatment of his sons at times, they were his world and to lose one of them would be the worst thing that could happen to their father.

"We'll sort this John, I swear…somehow we'll sort it."

"Let's get to the hospital. Sam said Dean pulled the vent a little while ago, maybe he's come round and we can talk to him, see if he remembers anything odd in the last few days before we killed the witch."

Jim picked up the burst bottle from the floor, hitched his bag onto his shoulder and walked out into the carpark aware that John was locking up behind him and following him out. "Here's Dean's keys back." He held them out to John but he pushed them back at him.

"Do me a favour, follow me out there in Dean's car….means I can leave it for Sam to use if we need to go check something out."

"Yeah, ok." Jim put the bottle down on top of the car to get the door open and pulled the bag off his shoulder to throw it in. John surveyed the inside of the car.

"How long until that pink tinge fades?"

"Another half hour or so. Say." Jim pointed over to John's truck. "We didn't do your truck."

"I'll give it a quick once over before we leave." He snatched the bottle off the top of the Impala and went to head towards the truck.

Jim stopped him with a shout. "John, that bottle's leaking, better take a full one."

John turned back to hand the bottle back to Jim, his eyes casting a glance over the car as he did. The little ring of purple on the roof of the car caught his eye, drawing him to it. He walked up and sprayed the roof of the car, smiling slowly as the paintwork turned purple. "Well I'll be damned." He ran his fingers through the liquid. "She hexed the car."

Jim turned to look at his friend. "She didn't do that to any of the others I take it?"

"No. Not that I know of but then we didn't check the victim's cars at the houses that didn't have a hex bag." John walked round to the trunk of the car and pulled out the lighter fluid and the fire extinguisher that Dean had in there.

Jim raised his eyebrows. "You're going to torch the car?"

John laughed at his friend's face. "No, just the roof."

He sprayed the roof with the lighter fluid and pulled out his lighter, flicking the wheel and touching it to the roof of the Impala. The flames leapt over the classic car's paintwork, their blue tinge a sure sign that this was a hex. John waited until the flames died down, grateful that he didn't need the extinguisher, and then sprayed the liquid on the car. He huffed out a breath of air as the liquid went pink again.

"Do you think that's done it?" Jim took a bottle of water and washed the liquid off the car, examining the paint for damage as he did.

John shrugged. "We need to go to one of the houses I didn't find a bag at…see if she's changed her M.O." John strode over, opened his truck and climbed in calling back to Jim as he did. "Try to keep up."

---

Dean had felt it, the bolt of pain in his head that usually signalled another attack but this time it had been different. It had been a brief flare of pain and then it was gone, coursing through his mind and body before dissipating into nothing. It has served a purpose for him though because he had ridden that flash of agony and followed it slowly to the surface.

He opened his eyes and was aware that Sam was sitting next to him. His brother's head was down and he was holding his hand. Dean knew that Sam was talking to him but his brain was still too fried to make sense of the words. He mustered up every little bit of strength that he had in him and gave his brother's hand a squeeze, hoping it would be enough for Sam to notice.

His brother's head shot up and Dean wished he could have grinned at the look of shook that turned to joy on Sam's face. Dean tried to get his voice to work but his throat felt like he had been swallowing glass.

Sam lent forward, elbows on the bed, moving into Dean's space. "Don't try to talk Dean. Just rest up a bit more."

Dean watched as Sam pressed the call button and then turned back to him. "I've almost got it Dean, I know it's me." Sam's voice broke completely at the little confession. "Dad's looking for the hex bag right now….." He tailed off as the nurse came into the room.

"Dean's awake."

She walked over and started to check Dean over. "Hey Dean. Nice to have you back. You gave us a couple of real scares there, your brother's been worried about you."

Dean wanted to speak to Sam…needed to speak to him but his voice just wouldn't comply. Sam and the nurse tried to hush him but he was determined that he was going to let his brother know what he had discovered.

"Don't." The word barely made it passed his lips and he watched as Sam leaned in to hear and then sat back with a confused look on his face.

"Don't? Don't what Dean?" Sam forgot that he didn't want Dean to speak.

The nurse drew his attention back to her. "I'll get him some ice chips, ease his throat a little." She left the room and Sam turned back to Dean.

"Don't…be…" Dean felt the tiredness that the effort to talk caused tug at him.

"Don't be what Dean?" Sam knew that his brother was trying to tell him something and that it was important.

The nurse appeared back with the ice and handed it to Sam. "Don't let him talk too long."

Sam took the proffered cup. "Thanks I wont, I promise."

"Call me if you need anything. I'll get the doctor in to have a look at him soon."

Sam nodded and turned back to Dean as she left. "Here." He held the cup up and let a few small chips make their way between his brother's lips.

Dean relished the cold of the ice against the heat of his throat. "Sam, don't. Trigger….." The cough rose through his insides and he choked as it forced its way out.

"Easy Dean, it's alright. I know. I know I'm the trigger."

Dean's head hurt from trying to make his words make sense to himself and his brother. "Trigger….."

Sam looked at him. "Dean I don't get what you're trying to tell me….do you know what the trigger is?"

Dean sighed a long frustrated sigh and struggled to get the word out. "Angry."

"What?"

Sam lent in closer and then jumped as the door to the room was fired opened and John strode in. "Is he awake?"

He moved over to the bed and went to speak but Sam shushed him. "He's trying to tell me something."

"We found the hex." John smiled at Sam.

"You did? Where?" Sam turned to look at his Dad and Dean closed his eyes, feeling the strain of trying to speak building in him. He knew that he wouldn't be awake much longer but if they'd found the hex his discovery didn't matter anymore and he was just so tired.

"It was on the car. We went to two of the victim's houses she had hexed both their cars too. Seems she might have changed her M.O., easier to do the cars than get access to the homes. If we're right he should start to get better soon."

Sam watched the little smile that crossed his father's face.

When he turned round again his brother was sleeping.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thank you again for all the reviews on this, they are great!

Cheers Mary x


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

A little bit of back story to show where the witch got the idea from - once this is complete I may move it 'cos it doesn't run chronologically with the first part of the back story and I'm not sure that I like that much!

Someone finally puts two and two together and gets four – but who…and are they too late?

Enjoy, Mary x

Hunters or the hunted

_Hunters or hunted (before)_

_They had been tracking her, hunting her down but what they didn't know was that she had been hunting them down too. She had been choosing the one that she wanted to hurt, the one that would make them all hurt. She smiled as they walked into the diner and slipped into the booth behind her. _

_Hiding in plain site, she liked it, it was her thing. _

_She smiled at the anger in the youngest hunter, soon she would make it a living breathing thing with a life of its own, a life that would drain and take his brother's. _

_---_

_The three hunters were sitting in the diner and the middle one was trying desperately to ignore the all out war that was erupting next to him. _

_"Sam you are not coming on this hunt with us and that's final. This is a witch Sam, anything could happen." John took a sip of his coffee and glared at his son. _

_"Exactly. That's why I should come. I was the one that figure out who she was…you two would still be stumped if it wasn't for me and what's my reward…a pat on the head and told to go sit in the corner…well I'm not doing it this time! I'm not a little kid anymore." He hissed at his father. _

_"You will do as you told Sam Winchester!" John lent across the table and poked his son in the chest. "I am sick of your attitude. You could learn a thing or two from your brother!" _

_Sam lent over right into his Dad's face. "I could if you ever let me out to hunt with him! I might as well not be here if you're gonna leave me behind each time. I'm sick of waiting and worrying, at least if something happens to one of you two I'd be there to help."_

_"Get in the road more like! Do you remember the simple salt and burn that I let Dean take you on? The one that you shot you brother in the leg with the rock salt instead of the ghost? What if that had been something else you were hunting Sam and you'd shot Dean with silver or lead instead of salt?" John turned and pointed to Dean. "He doesn't concentrate when you're around either….so busy watching you he's going to get himself killed. Is that what you want Sam…your brother dead just so you could go on the hunt?" _

_"Guys!" Dean stood and pushed them back into their seats. "Right that is enough. You're giving me a headache." Dean sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to his Dad who was seated across the table from him. "Let him come with us, just on this one. We know who she is, we're pretty sure we know where she is and we know what she is. I can do the recon and Sam can stay with you. Please can we just stop fighting, get this job done and get out of here?" _

_John stood and threw some money on the table. "Ok, fine but if he screws up and you end up with a leg full of buckshot…don't come crawling to me! I need to go get gas for the truck. I'll meet you boys back at the motel, we'll decide what we're doing from there." _

_Dean watched his father walk away and then turned to his brother. "You guys are breaking my damned heart do you know that? I'm sick of it Sammy, you know what he's like…it's his show so why can't you just let him run it the way he wants too…why do you always have to start with him?" _

_"He treats me like a child! I knew you'd side with him though! Golden boy, always does what he's told, always follows Daddy's orders! Why don't you grow a pair and stand up to him once in a while?" Sam crossed his arms and huffed. _

_Dean rounded on him, his voice low, aware that they were drawing the attention of some of the other patrons in the diner. "I got you on the damned hunt Sam, how is that siding with him?! And just because I show the man some freakin' respect doesn't mean I'm a wuss, he's been doing this a long time he's good at it and besides…we both just want to keep you safe Sam, where's the harm in that?" _

_"What about you Dean? Who keeps you safe?" _

_"I can look after myself." Dean stood and headed for the door. _

_"Yeah? So can I." Sam started after his brother. _

_"Really?" As they reached the door Dean swung it back and deliberately clipped Sam with it. "Watch the door there Sammy!" _

_"It's Sam!" _

_The two brothers bickered all the way over to the car never noticing that they had an audience. _

_--- _

_The witch was sitting with her back to them in the booth behind where they had been sat. She stood and walked out to the carpark after them. She shook her head, her blonde bob changing to long, red hair as the glamour she had created to hide from them broke. She knew that they knew about her hex bags so she had a little back up plan for the last few victims, just in case they got through the cloak that she was using. They weren't going to stop her, she wasn't going to let them. She was going to hex her victim's cars as well. She knew hunters….if they found one they would stop looking for the other. Job done and onto the next one. _

_**You guys are breaking my damned heart do you know that?**__ She smiled at the hunter's own words and the fact that he didn't know how true that they would become, how like music to her ears the words were. The pretty blond hunter was the one that she would go after, he was going to be last, but she would make sure that he went the same way as the others had. Destroyed by the one thing he loved but that hurt him the most, his own family. In his case, his brother. _

_They might know where she was now but she knew where they were too and in a little while she would visit them to seal his fate. For now though, she was content to watch the view. _

_--- _

Sam was sitting in the chair which was now pulled up hard against Dean's bed, his head was resting on his arms which in turn were folded and on the bed just a little down from where Dean's own hand sat. Sam was turned awkwardly towards his brother alternating between snatches of sleep and keeping a watchful eye on Dean's breathing and the monitors that still surrounded him.

John and Jim were standing off to the side of the room, near the door, talking in quiet whispers. "I think you should send Sam out to check the rest of the houses, he needs a break from sitting hunched in that chair and waiting for Dean to wake up again." Jim took a little glance over at Sam's huddled figure as he spoke.

"It's a good idea Jim but I think you should suggest it, he's tired and me doing it is only going to set him off on one." John rubbed his hand across his forehead. "Someone needs to check and I really want to stay and make sure that Dean's alright this time." Jim gripped his friend's shoulder tightly and then nodded.

He turned and walked over to Sam, sitting down on the end of the bed and clearing his throat. "Sam?"

Wearily Sam lifted his head from it's position of rest and then turned to look at the Pastor."Hi. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could do with a break. We need to check the cars at the last couple of houses and I thought that you could do with getting out of here, just for a little spell…I'd call you the minute Dean wakes."

Sam sat up and stretched. "Can't Dad do it?"

He lent back in his chair to glance over at his father. John had walked over to the window and was staring out into the dying light, an unreadable look on his face but worry clearly etched in the lines around his eyes.

"Your Dad's got some more forms and stuff to fill out for the hospital and he really needs to stay in case the doctor has to ask him anything, or get his permission if Dean needs treatment of any kind when he wakes up."

"You're trying to get rid of me aren't you?" Sam smiled softly at Pastor Jim.

"I'm trying to get you out in the fresh air for a little bit, clear your head…go get something decent to eat. When did you last eat anything?"

"Don't know…same time Dean did. Do you think that they'll put a feeding tube in if he doesn't wake soon? He's had that done before…didn't like it." Sam lifted Dean's hand and squeezed it as he spoke, waiting and hoping that Dean would return the gesture. He didn't.

Sam sighed. "I could do with getting out this room for a bit." He looked up at Dean again. "You'd call the minute he opens his eyes?"

"Promise." Sam stood and stretched fully this time. "How many is left to do?"

"Well your Dad and you boys found eight bags and John and I checked the cars of the next two victims so there is only the last five victims cars to check."

"I could go and check with the relatives at the house you found the hex on the cars at as well. Just to make sure that they haven't found a hex bag too and not called us."

"Nothing if not thorough, young Mr Winchester."

"That's me."

"Here. I brought Dean's car to the hospital in case we need it. It's parked across the road."

Jim handed the keys to the Impala to Sam and watched as he stole another look at his prone brother, almost as if looking for permission to take her.

"I won't be long." Sam picked up his Dad's notebook for the addresses that he would need and walked over to his father. "Do you want me to bring you back something to eat?"

John turned and smiled. "Yeah, thanks. Why don't you get something simple for Dean too, soup maybe, see if we can't get him to eat something when he wakes…you know that he isn't gonna eat the hospital food that's a foregone."

"Yeah, I'll do that. You'll call me when he wakes up?" John nodded and Sam slipped out into the corridor and then down and into the Impala. "Hey girl, you missing him too?" Sam rubbed at the remnants of the pink spray that still clung to the car's upholstery. "God, it's a good job he can't see this he'd have a fit."

He started the car and headed out in the direction of the first house running Dean's words over in his head as he did. Dean had been trying to tell him something. Sam just had to figure out what. Did Dean know what Sam was doing to trigger the attacks? His brother had said something to him just as John had arrived but Sam had missed it.

He hoped that it wasn't something important.

---

The first house was a little two storey affair and Sam was pleased to see that it didn't have a garage and that there were two cars in the driveway. He pulled the Impala over just past the house and grabbed one of the bottle from the passenger seat, realising at that moment he had neither his jacket or his bag, both stupidly still lying at the side of Dean's bed in the hospital. The ID he'd need to get into the houses was in the inside pocket of his jacket. He cursed himself knowing that John was going to be far from happy with him. At least him knew that he had his phone and wallet, having shoved both into his jeans pockets earlier. He sighed and got out, thankful that he could still check these cars.

The house was in darkness as he approached and he hoped that no one would come out to see what he was doing. He snuck between the two cars and quickly sprayed the tops of both of them, frowning as one of them turned purple.

A thought struck him that he wasn't sure that he liked. _Why would you change the hex in the middle of everything and why not do this from the start, it had to be easier. Maybe the hex on the car isn't as effective as the one she can do with the bag?_ He ran his finger through the purple liquid absentmindedly.

He looked at the dark house and wondered if it was as empty as it looked, hoping it was he started to move towards it. Climbing up onto the porch he took a quick look round and then pressed his face to the window, uttering a curse and nearly falling over the rail as a huge dog hurled itself at the glass. "Shit, nice doggy….shut the heck up!"

Turning, he headed to the car, quickly slipping in and pulling away, all thoughts of checking the house gone. An alarm he could have dealt with but a dog…that was a whole other thing. He started the car and headed to the next house.

At the next house he had wasted precious time trying to explain to a rather irate woman why he'd dyed the roof of one of her cars pink and the other purple before washing it off for her. He showed her the hex bag and she confirmed that she hadn't seen anything like it in the house. Using his charm Sam tried to get the woman to let him in but she was having none of it, she asked for ID and when he was unable to produce it, she refused to believe he was police and he had been left with only the option of leaving his number for her to call if she noticed anything unusual.

The ID had caused him problems as he couldn't get access to the other houses to check for the hex bags and he was left with no other course of action but to grab some food and head back to the hospital. He took a final spin passed the two houses that John and Jim had found the car hex at but both of those were occupied too. "Great Sam. Dad's gonna have your ass for that one."

He stopped for the food and then turned the car towards the hospital, hoping that his brother was awake.

---

John was sitting next to Dean's bedside when Sam walked back in. "Where's Jim?"

"He went upstairs to make a few calls. He's going to stay for a few days in case we need anymore help and he's calling someone he knew for advice on if the hex can be broken if it hasn't been already with us finding the one on the car." John sat back but never took his eyes off Dean. "How'd you search go?"

"All the last victim's cars were tagged with the hex."

"That's a good sign. Looks like she changed tactics after all."

Sam sighed and handed his Dad the bag he had with the food in it." Then why isn't he awake?"

John just put the bag on the cabinet next to the bed without opening it. He looked up at Sam. "The last attack was a bad one, might just take a little time to wear off completely. He's tired too Sam and what with being sick and everything…he'll wake up soon." John rubbed his hand across his face. "Did you find out if there were hex bags in the last houses?" John took it there weren't as Sam hadn't mentioned them straight away but he felt the need to ask anyway.

Sam shuffled slightly. "I didn't get into any of them."

John looked at him. "What? Why not?"

Sam stared at his brother and refused to meet John's eyes. "I didn't have my ID. I left my jacket on the chair here. All the ones in the car were Dean's."

John was staring at him, disbelieving. "So really you wasted your time and we don't know if she really changed her M.O. or if she just added the car to it to screw with us. Nice bit of grunt work there Sam, sloppy doesn't even begin to cover it."

Sam met his father's glare head on this time. "I was tired and I'm worried about my brother ok? I just forgot to lift my jacket when I was talking to Jim, I didn't do it on purpose!"

John's voice started to raise. "No Sam you never do it on purpose yet somehow you still manage it. Maybe you should stick to what you're good at in future, researching and leave the legwork to your brother and I." John dropped his eyes back down to Dean.

"Yeah, 'cos Dean really good at the leg work." Sam crossed his arms.

"What do you mean by that? Your brother knows what he's doing when he's out hunting which is more than I can say for you."

"Dean's been in hospital four times this year, twice now when the doctors weren't sure that he'd pull through ok. He's got more scars on some places than he has skin and he's broken so many bones that a few years ago you had to get Bobby to fake a hospital report that he'd been in a car accident so that you wouldn't get suspected of abuse. That's despite the fact that he actually had been in a car accident before that when Bobby's car was pushed down a cliff with them both in it by some spirit which if I remember you pissed off in the first place!"

Sam's temper flared briefly in him, then a slow realisation crept through him and he knew that to voice it would inflame his father more but he also knew that he couldn't stop himself from doing it. He was sick of this. He lowered his head, moved over to his brother and drew a deep sigh. "I've had enough, I can't do this anymore. I can't sit by and watch you let Dean get hurt time and time again. I won't. This isn't what I want to do with my life. It's not what he should be doing with his either."

---

Jim was in the relative room on the sixth floor that Sam had been in and he'd was talking to an old acquaintance of his, a woman that classed herself as a white witch in the respect at least that the black magic that she used was never done with the intent of hurt but rather healing. She had an idea of how to break the hex but it was a long and complex spell.

"Jim, witches never change their method of killing during a spree, they are like serial killers that go after a certain type of person, they need the uniformity and comfort of their tried and tested method of bringing death on. If she hex the cars of the last few it's been an addition to her plan. Tell me were the hunters on to her before the last of the victims died?"

Jim paused. "I think so. The last killing was three weeks ago so she would have placed the hex just before that, the boys have been here nearly six weeks I think. Bobby's friend's funeral was six or seven weeks ago and it was him that put it together."

Agnes sighed. "Jim she knew that they were after her, what's his weakness, what would she use against him?"

"A weakness? Dean doesn't have a weakness Agnes. He's strong, a fighter."

"What about his family Jim. Does he hate them, love them, do they do anything that upsets him?"

"Dean lives for his family Agnes, he loves them both deeply, he'd do anything for them."

"So what do they do that upsets him? She'll have watched them Jim, she'll have known what hurts him. That's what she'll have used to get to him, to cause the attacks."

Jim let out a little dry laugh. "There's lots of things Dean's father does that probably upset him. It could be a long list. Sam not so much, the boys get along well together, Dean practically raised him."

"Try to think on it Jim, ask his family. It's important. If the hex isn't broken and you can't find the bag that will be the way that you at least stop the attacks until we can figure out how to break the hex or you find the bag itself." She paused and then continued. "Now do you have a pen and some paper?"

"No. Can you hang on a minute and I'll get some."

"Sure, no worries."

Jim exited the room and crossed the hall to the rather large nurse that greeted him far too happily for the time of day it was. "Hey sweetie, can I help you?"

Jim raised his eyes at the overtly friendly remark and fiddled with his dog collar. "Eh, I was just looking for some paper and a pen that I could borrow for a moment?"

"Sure thing swee…" She let the term of endearment die on her lips at Jim's face. "Sorry I call everyone that…it's all kids and young adults up on this floor, sets some of them at rest. Are you visiting a relative or are you on professional business tonight?"

"Bit of both." Jim wished she would just hurry up and find the notepad in the drawer that she was rummaging through. "My friend's son is in ICU."

"I'm sorry to here that. Wait it's isn't Dean Andrews is it?"

Jim nodded.

"He was on this floor when he took ill, right where you're standing actually."

"Really, well he's holding his own for the moment downstairs."

"That's good to know, nice boy, in fact he was looking for paper when he was up here too. I wonder if he left the pad in his room?"

She shut the drawer and noticed the pen on the floor. Bending down to get it she spied the notebook too that had been half kicked under the desk.

"It's a wonder no one has fell over that pen." She tutted and shook her head. "There you are." She stood up and handed them to Jim. "He must have had these in his hands when he took ill, maybe that's what he was doing out here, returning these." She watched as the man's face blanched at the writing on the pad in front of him.

"Are you alright?" She reached a hand to his.

"No. I'm not. How did we miss this?" The writing on the pad was definitely Dean's and on the side of the page that bore his brother's name Dean had written the words - Sam/Angry. Underneath and underlined was the word - Trigger?. Jim muttered a curse and turned and headed for the stairs.

At least he knew what the trigger was. Dean had figured it out when the three of them hadn't managed to.

He hoped that Sam was still out searching 'cos a tired Sam and a tired John together in one room…no way that didn't end in a fight.

And if they fought this time..... he quickened his steps to a run.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Ok this wasn't where I want to leave it but believe it's a lot better than were I was going to if I had gotten that far (evil cliffie reprieve there!) Does that make you worry for the next chapter? No? I wouldn't right? *evil laugh from muse*

Mary xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi! Firstly thank you to all the folks that have reviewed this story, hugs and kisses all round. And thanks also to the folks that just read and enjoy.

Have I buttered you all up enough to forgive me for what I am about to do? I'm sorry I couldn't resist thisl bit of badness!

I will have a swear box at the end of this chapter for all the bad names that you are going to call me and I have something else to tell you all....now what was it....ooh I know......this is not a Deathfic!!!

Enjoy? Mary xx

Arresting Behaviour

John stood quietly then he raised his head and glared at Sam. "This isn't what you want to do with your life? This _is_ your life, what else are you going to do with it?" Scorn ripped through his father's word. "Is this not good enough for you Sam? Saving people not a worthwhile enough gig for the young Mr. Winchester? So what does Sam want to do?"

Sam could see the stress and the worry in his father's face; how close to overloading that he actually was and he knew that he should back down, that this wasn't the time or the place for this but he just couldn't, he'd reached his own limit. His tiredness, his concern for his brother, and his anger and frustration at not being able help Dean all collided at the tone his father's voice.

This so wasn't how he'd want this to go down but he knew that it was the way that it had always been going to happen. John was never going to take this well, the timing really wasn't the issue here.

He walked round and pulled his bag from the floor and dumped it on the table at the foot of the bed. Rummaging in it briefly he pulled out three letters.

"I wasn't going to tell you like this. I was going to sit down and discuss this civilly with you but I guess that's not going to happen now." Sam took a deep breath and glanced quickly at his brother. "I'm applying to college and if I get accepted for the right one….." ….he waved the letters at John…… "…….then I'm going. I'm not going to chase ghosts forever. I won't. I want to study Law…help people that way, a way that let's me have a life too. That's what I want to do with my life, not hunt, not find the thing that killed mom and definitely not stand here and watch my brother hurt and fighting for his life. If I leave maybe he'll see the light; if he does….I'm asking Dean to come with me."

"Over my dead body." John stood and rounded on Sam.

Sam didn't flinch. "Better yours than his."

John was so close now that Sam had to stop himself from stepping back, from showing any kind of weakness. "You are not tearing this family apart to go to college, you don't get to make that decision."

"And you do? I'm not Dean! You can't tell me what to do! I'm old enough to make my own decisions, you can't make them for me and you can't stop me!"

John grabbed his shirt. "Do you want to bet on that?"

Sam didn't even try to break the grip just grabbed his own fistful of his Dad's shirt. "I'm not scared of you. I am leaving."

John snorted. "No you are not. Dean wouldn't go with you anyway. Dean knows the meaning of family and loyalty!"

"You're right, he does. So what makes you think that he'd pick you over me?"

John faltered and glanced over at his unconscious son knowing that perhaps he didn't really want to test Dean on that one. "I'm still your father, you're not going; you'll do as your told. You know what's out there. It's not safe for you out there alone."

It was Sam's turn to snort. "Why? Why can't I go to college? Because the great John Winchester decrees it? You were never here for us most of the time anyway. You were just someone that appeared every now and then and gave Dean some money so we didn't starve to death! He's the one that watched over me, kept me safe. You never did. He's my father, my brother, my best friend…hell my only friend and I will not sit around any longer watching while we let something else hurt him. While you constantly put him in harm's way! He doesn't _need_ to be here, he doesn't _need_ to be doing this. Dean could be anything that he puts his mind to, it's you….your holding him back. He stays because he loves you but with you…it's not love that you have for us, it's domination. We're just your bitches to do as we're told and God helps us if we fall out of line and dare to question your superiority! Well I'm not doing it any longer, I want my shot at college, at a life, at _normal_."

"Mostly though…." ….there was venom in Sam's voice as he spoke the last words…. ".…I just want away from _you_!"

John had brought back his fist before he knew it and hit his son square on the jaw, watching as Sam staggered back, his hand rising to his face, shock registering there.

It was the first time that Sam had ever known that his father had hit either of them. John had pulled it at the last moment, realising what he was doing as he did it, that was the only reason Sam was still standing.

"God, I'm sorry." John's face was horror struck. He went to touch Sam's face but his son pulled away.

"Don't." Stepping to the side, Sam grabbed his bag and threw the letters back in it. Hoisting it onto his shoulder, he turned to leave but his father stepped back up in front of him.

"Where are you going?" Sam shrugged him off and opened the door. He wasn't leaving as such he just couldn't be in this room a minute longer. He needed to put some space between his father and himself before things really escalated into all out war, not that they weren't there already. John grabbed him, spinning him to him. "Your brother could be dying here and you're walking away? What's wrong with you? He needs you!"

Sam could feel himself beginning to snap completely.

"So where were you when he needed _you_? Where were you when we were huddled in some dirty low rent motel not knowing if you were going to walk back through the door? Where were you when Dean was deciding if he really could afford for us to eat when you hadn't been back to pay the rent on time? Do you know what you put him through? What you put me through?"

Sam tried to get out the door again, tears falling freely now. "I can't be here! I can't do this anymore!" He tried to push John off, staggering into the open doorway as his father suddenly let go and Sam lost his balance for a moment.

"You walk out that door on your brother and me then don't bother coming back." John's voice was cold.

That was it.

Something inside Sam broke.

His anger turned to a cool, calm rage.

"Was that another order?" Sam hissed at his father as he came back and moved up right into John's face, enjoying that the man had to look up to him to avoid stepping back. "Finally….one that I have no bother obeying."

He stood for a minute just watching, waiting to see what would come next.

Like all good hunters John went for Sam's weak point. "It'll kill him if you leave!" Sam could see the heartbreak in his father's eyes, knowing that it wasn't just Dean that would crumble if he was to go but knowing that he had to anyway.

"Not if he comes with me, besides, we're killing him anyway."

Sam walked out into the corridor, walking away a little bit before he stopped to lean on the wall; closing his eyes and dropping his head trying to steady his world around him and calm the sledgehammer effect in his chest that the fight with his father had caused. His whole body was shaking with adrenaline but he'd done it. He had the worst timing in the world but he'd actually done it. He'd finally stood up to his father and his dream of college, of escape, was one step nearer.

All he needed now was Dean to wake up, to break this damned hex, and everything would be right in his world.

Suddenly, Paul Grey's voice drifted unbidden into his thoughts. _It was killing her, ripping her apart inside but I couldn't stop. _Pauline Adams husband's voice replaced it. _"Gregg seems to think that Pauline had these attacks because of him skipping school. He thinks that he somehow stressed her into them. I've told him that's stupid but he knew how much his mother hated it when he skipped out. She was always saying what a waste of a brain." _

_"It'll kill him if you leave!" _His Dad's words echoed through his head and Sam knew that there was a ring of truth in them but if he stayed he would just hurt his brother more, the constant fighting between him and John would destroy Dean just as much as Sam not being there would.

He had to go for all their sakes. Even if Dean stayed it would be better this way, cause less heartache.

And that's when it hit him.

The thought rammed it's way into his head.

Sam finally knew what the trigger was.

"Oh God!" He started to turn and go back to the room just as Jim appeared at the door to the stairwell.

They turned to one another.

"I know what the trigger is!" They spoke almost together.

Jim looked at Sam in surprise and then they both jumped as the alarms at the nurse's station shattered the silence.

"No!" Sam pushed his way back into Dean's room to see his father already starting chest compressions. Sam dropped his bag at Jim's feet and rushed to the other side, grabbing Dean's head and tilting it back, waiting for his Dad's signal to breathe for his brother if needed. John nodded just as the nursing staff piled into the room and pushed them both out the way. Sam staggered back against the wall and watched as his father did the same. Both men locked eyes before they dropped their sights back to the struggle that was going on to save Dean.

---

Sam watched in horror as they worked on his brother knowing for sure that this time he has caused this. That this time his arguing with his father might actually have done the one thing he was always afraid it might do.

It had killed his brother.

The nurses and the doctor crowded round his sibling He watched as they bagged Dean and got ready to shock him; as they pushed meds into his IV line; small snatches of conversation floated his way but he couldn't grasp the words. All the while the monitor not four feet from him continued to sound it's own distress at the fact that Dean's heart had stopped again. Sam willed the noise to stop with everything that he had. He willed his brother to respond to the frantic ministering that was going on above and around him.

The doctor looked in his direction briefly and then turned his attention back to Dean, barking an instruction at the nurse next to him, leaving Sam wondering what had caused him to look his way.

That was when he heard it and it struck him as funny that all the time he had sat in this room the noise hadn't registered with him before. He looked up and watched as the second hand on the clock above him unmercifully counted down the last few beats of his brother's life.

This was it then.

Sam knew that.

His anger had been the trigger all along.

And he had been angry alright.

Now his brother was going to pay for it.

They didn't have the hex bag.

The hex was obviously still in place.

They had just run out of time.

He watched the doctor check the clock again.

"No. don't you do it. Please don't you leave me." Sam whispered the words.

Sam froze as the doctor turned to his father, stared at John as the realisation of what the man was about to do slapped his father across the face. "I'm sorry."

John broke with the words, his tears flowing and his face crumpling.

"Dean!"

John's cracked cry of his son's name caused everyone to halt for the merest of seconds before the doctor turned back towards Sam again and took another glance at the clock above him.

"Ok, it been too long, everyone stop now."

The doctor gave one final look at the clock and then started to checked his watch to confirm the time.

---

Sam turned and threw up on the floor.

_I did this. _

_I killed him. _

He was suddenly aware that he was shaking violently.

The shaking intensified.

Sam realised that the shaking was external and that it was Jim, his face panicked and urgent in front of Sam's own.

"Sam! I have to ask you something. For God's sake snap out of it boy!"

Sam looked the Pastor in the eye and wondered what the hell could be so important when his brother had just passed from this world.

What else could possibly matter?

**Chapter End Notes:**

Not a deathfic, not a deathfic, not a deathfic.....

*hides* See you all soon. Promise! Mary x


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

I have recovered fully from my case of Kirpke-itis and this is the part you've been waiting for, not however the last one.

Oh, no cliifhangers this time! :)

_In The Beat Of A Heart_

_It was like standing in a hail shower except that instead of cold lumps of iced rainwater hitting him it was angry words, but just like the hailstones would each word hitting him caused him pain. _

_This was different from the other attacks, this wasn't going to be a short, sharp life ending pain, a release._

_This was going to be an agonising end. _

_He couldn't make out the words that his father and his brother were throwing at each other but he knew the tone in the voices. Sam was in full 'pissed at John Winchester' mode and Dean was getting to feel just how much anger was boiling under the surface of his brother's skin. Every angry word was a pinprick of pain but instead of hitting him and stopping, the process was cumulative, he was still able to feel the last one as the next one hit. The pain spread slowly over him, little bit by little bit until the shower turned into a full blow storm and the pain stopped spreading and just grew in intensity. It started in his arms and legs working its way inward and upward. Filling him. _

_He wanted to open his eyes and scream at them to stop, wondering why, when he had figured it out, they hadn't. He was dying right in front of them and they were still too busy arguing to notice. _

_This was it. _

_Game over. _

_Without a single blow being struck by or to him. _

_Taken down by a friggin' witch of all things. No glory in death but to go out like this…taken out by a bag of tricks and his own family's inability to get along._

_Awesome._

_His last thought that ran through him as the pain reached his heart and catapulted him back into darkness was that he was so coming back to haunt their asses._

_And he'd show them what angry really was! _

_---_

"SAM!"

Jim was in his face now, holding something in front of him but Sam was closing down, his mind no longer able to cope with what he had just brought about. "How long?! I need to know how long?! SAM!"

Jim thrust the object into his hands. He felt the smooth leather under his fingers and tried to focus on what Jim wanted from him. "What?"

"Your bag Sam, how long have you had it here with you at the hospital? Sam please!" Sam looked down at the old bag that he used to carry his laptop and his papers that Jim had thrust into his hands.

Jim's voice cut into his haze again. "Was it here when your Dad and I were searching the motel? SAM!" Jim shook him again.

"Yeah…. I think so….yeah."

Sam jerked as Jim wrenched it from his grip and pulled Sam to his feet. "Have you got a lighter?"

"What? No. It's in the car." Sam looked down at the bag and finally let his brain come back online. "It's in the bag isn't it? We've had it here all the time." Sam looked at Jim, disbelief in his eyes. "We had it here all the time."

"Yes, Sam, I think so…I need something to burn it with." Jim was pushing open the door to the bathroom and emptying the contents of the bag on the floor as he spoke.

Sam started to move.

He rounded the bed to his father and without asking groped inside John's jacket pockets until he found what he was looking for. He pulled the hipflask free and then stuck his hand's into his Dad's jeans pocket and found the lighter. Sam went to turn back to Jim and then stopped, turned back and grabbed his Dad's jacket.

"Don't let them stop."

With that he was round the bed and into the bathroom beside Jim.

---

John turned to the doctor who had been in the process of calling time of death on his son and he stepped up close and closed his hand round the man's wrist covering his watch. "I need you to keep trying, just for a minute or two more."

The doctor shook his head. "Mr Andrews your son is dead, he's been down for nearly….." ….he threw a glance at the clock….. "six minutes. Even if we get him back now, which I don't think is possible, there could be permanent damage…."

"Then you'd better hurry." John's voice was calm as he spoke, no hint of the emotion from mere moments before. The cold, detached look in his eye caused a chill to run through the doctor. Still he went to protest again, but John pulled his jacket opened and to the side just far enough for the man to see the grip of the gun that nestled there, stopping him even before he'd had the chance to start. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist."

The doctor didn't turn, just backed away. "Keep going." He never took his eyes off of John, knowing from experience that grief caused people to do crazy things and the look in the eyes of the man before him told him that both grief and crazy where riding John's actions at the moment.

The nurses hesitated, unsure until John growled at them. "You heard the man!"

They went back to work.

---

Jim threw the bag in the shower stall and watched as Sam knelt and poured the alcohol from the flask all over the inside of it both men vaguely aware of the activity recommencing in the next room. Sam flicked the lighter's wheel, putting the flame it triggered to life down to the lining.

Jim knelt beside him, gripping his shoulder, both of them watching as the flame flared briefly, the orange and reds of the fire mocking them for a moment until the little explosion of pale blue flitted through the fire and then with an audible pop dispersed.

The room burst into a cacophony of noise as the fire alarm system kicked in, registering it's displeasure at the fire raising in one of it's areas. Sam went out into the main room, grabbed the fire extinguisher, thankful that the sprinkler system was contained to outside the room due to the electrics inside, and strode back in to put the last of the flames out quickly.

He stood then, now shoulder to shoulder with Jim at the door of the bathroom, the older man staring out into the main room, Sam's head dropped beside him, finding that he was unable to look up, sure that if he did he would find it had been too late.

---

One of the nurses had moved now, was on the phone yelling for someone to get the fire system shut off even as the doctor and the other nurses still fought to bring the body before them back to life, the doctor keeping a wary eye on John.

John though was only watching the steady line on the heart monitor, oblivious to everything now that was going on around him.

Frozen.

"Please." The little plea escaped him as the nurse moved in front of him and blocked his view momentarily.

---

There was a sudden quiet that followed the cessation of the fire alarm and that's when Sam realised it.

Even before he heard the slightly startled exhale of the nurse that stood in front of him.

The other alarm, the one on the monitor had stopped too.

---

"We've got him. We've got a pulse."

The doctor looked at the monitor and then down to the man on the bed, amazement clear on his face.

"We've back into sinus rhythm." The nurse continued on with an almost awed tone.

"We got him back."

The doctor looked over to the man that only seconds ago was threatening him with madness dancing in his eyes to see that his head was down now and his body was being wracked by sobs as tears of relief escaped him.

Across the room his younger son was watching him now too.

---

Later

Sam was back in the chair, his feet perched on the edge, his knees up in front of his face, long bangs touching them, hiding his face from everyone except his brother. His brother that steadfastly refused to wake up and look at it.

So Sam just sat there.

A mirror of his brother.

No sound.

No movement.

Watching.

Waiting.

Hoping.

It had been six hours, Dean was back on the ventilator, a feeding tube also now down inside him.

John sat on the other side of the bed, head down, lost in thought.

Jim slipped through the door of the room and crossed over to John. "Anything?"

"No. His blood pressure's come up a little but apart from that." John shook his head.

"I've smoothed things over with the hospital with regards the little fire raising act that Sam and I did, and the doctor isn't going to take your threat further, grieving father and all that. He'll only give you the gun back though when Dean is out of here."

John shrugged. "Fine."

Jim tapped his shoulder and John looked up. The pastor motioned to Sam. John shrugged again and Jim sighed.

"Sam?" The younger boy didn't move or acknowledge the fact that he had been spoken too. Jim walked round and sat on the bed facing him.

"Sam?"

Two red rimmed, bloodshot eyes met his. Jim fought the urge to hug the boy to him. "Why don't you go take a little break?"

"No." Sam turned his eyes back to his brother. Jim turned to look at the middle Winchester, noting that, if it wasn't for the fact that he was unconscious with tubes stuck down his throat, he looked better than his sibling. He reached across and gently brushed his hand across Dean's forehead.

_Come on kid, wake up and help me here. _

Jim wondered if that counted as a prayer.

He turned and motioned to John with his head and then he walked to the door, checking once to make sure that John was following.

They stopped outside.

Jim looked across at John. "Has Sam spoke to you at all yet?"

The hunter shook his head. "Not one word. Not since we fought. He hasn't eaten, I don't think he's moved at all since…" John couldn't bring himself to voice the fact that Dean had died.

"John you have to speak with him. This is not his fault. You're a family. Families argue, that's just what they do. So Sam has a temper, show me someone his age that doesn't."

"Dean didn't. He didn't have this constant need to fight me."

"Oh he had a temper too, still has. He just has other ways of letting off steam that Sam hasn't really discovered yet, although that in it's self is a miracle, seeing as how Dean can be."

John raised his eyebrow.

"You do not want to know what one of my parishioners found in the back seat of my car after I'd lent it to your son for a date!"

John smiled, it dawning on him what Dean's release was. "He must have wanted to fight with me more than I thought then." Jim smiled back at the little attempt at levity. He watched as John's own smile faded as his thoughts turned back to Sam. "Sam won't listen to me Jim. He hates me. I don't really know if I blame him. I caused this. I took them on this hunt. I almost lost Dean. Still might." John put his head down into his hands.

Jim didn't think he'd ever seen his friend looking so broken. He'd almost lost both his sons on the same day and even though one of them was fighting his way back to him the other was still drifting, lost in front of him.

"He doesn't hate you, if anything he's too like you. That's why you clash so much. Neither of you have Dean's forgiving nature."

"No. That's not a Winchester trait. He gets that from Mary. She always forgave me too."

There was a little silent pause between them that was broken by another voice.

"Do you always leave people hanging on the phone and not come back to them?"

Jim smiled before he turned. "Agnes!"

John regarded the woman that was walking towards them. She was dressed in jeans and a green t-shirt, her grey hair tied back into a loose ponytail and a hint of annoyance in her pale green eyes. The other thing that struck him was she was tall, Sam height tall. He looked up as she stood up against Jim.

"Well?"

"Sorry, things kinda ran away with us here. Dean arrested again, but we found the hex."

"How is he?" Her tone softened.

"Alive but still out." Jim nodded to the room behind him.

"May I?" She looked as John but it wasn't really a question.

He stood aside and let her in.

She took a look at Sam and skirted to the other side of the bed. "His colour is good."

Sam lifted his head at the sound of the strange voice. He jumped as she reached to his brother, gripping her wrist. "Don't touch him! Who are you?"

Agnes looked down at his hand and Sam couldn't fit the urge to let her go, so he did. "I'm Agnes and I'm going to do something that none else has managed to do yet."

"What?"

"I'm going to wake your brother up."

Sam watched as she reached for Dean's head, still wanting to pull her away from him. He knew what she was and he didn't want her in here never mind touching his brother.

As if reading his mind she turned to him. "I won't hurt him." She looked back to Dean, touching his head briefly and pulling back. Her next words tore at Sam and his father, who was now standing at the foot of the bed. "Not when he's in so much pain already."

She looked at Jim. "The hex is definitely broken?"

Jim nodded.

"That's good." She turned and killed the monitors at the side of the bed, started to free Dean from the wires that surrounded him.

"What are you doing?" John went to step forward but Jim stopped him.

Agnes ignored him and put her hand under Dean's neck, tilting his head and gently but firmly pulling the vent from him. She left the two IV's and the feeding tube in place. Looking around to Sam she asked him to moved the ventilator away from the bed as she pushed the machines on her side away too.

"Don't touch the bed."

With that she placed her hands on Dean's head.

"Dean!"

John watched as his son's body jerked and Agnes lent forward, lifting one hand to the wall to steady herself. "Shit." She dropped her hand to Dean's forehead.

"Agnes?" Jim was hovering behind her.

"Don't touch me!" She gave the warning and then sat on the edge of the bed as she felt her legs go under.

"Dean?"

She gently ran her hand down the side of his face.

"Time to wake up now."

And with that Dean's eyes flicked open.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Now that was better wasn't it?

Mary xxxx


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note

Hi, a quiet little chapter this one. Thank you for all the kind comments and reviews. Going to a recovery mode now and there is a lot to fix.

The Calm Before The Storm

The nurse entered the room and went to approach the bed but was stopped by Jim. "Everything's fine here. Can you fetch the doctor for me?"

"Who gave you permission to switch off the machines?"

She tried to step past him again but Jim held firm.

"Dean's awake. Please will you fetch the doctor?"

She huffed, freed her arm from his gentle but restraining grip and disappeared out into the corridor again.

---

Agnes lent over the bed oblivious to everything except the young man that lay in front of her. She dropped her hand to his chest and frowned as he screwed his eyes shut, tilting his head back slightly to try and draw a breath into his lungs.

"Sssh, slowly Dean, take as deep a breath as you can, but let it out slowly. I need you to look at me Dean."

She thought for a moment that he wasn't going to do as she'd asked and then his eyes slowly opened again.

"That's it. Concentrate on my face Dean, only on my face."

His breath in was slow and smooth but the breath out shuddered through him, it finishing with a small sob of air and him screwing his eyes shut again.

"Hey, hey…look at me, it'll get easier. Just a couple more like that. I know it hurts."

Dean bit into his bottom lip and his face screwed up with pain at every breath he managed to let out. Agnes lent over and took his hand.

"You're doing fine, I'm just going to get you a little help."

She raised her hand to the call button but Jim spoke to her, stopping her half way.

"The nurse was in, she's getting the doctor."

Agnes turned to him. "Get her, I need a mask."

Jim nodded and went to find the nurse.

Sam was hopping from foot to foot next to the bed. "Is he going to be ok?" He stepped closer and closed his hand round Dean's.

She looked down at the clasped hands and then back up at the look of almost sheer desperation on Sam's face. "Yes. It'll just take some time." Her voice was kind, reading the guilt in the younger man's tone. "Although if you don't loosen that grip you might have to get him a new hand."

Agnes laughed gently and Sam looked down, realising that he was probably crushing his brother's fingers, his grip was that tight. "Shit. Sorry Dean."

He let go, and then not knowing what to do with his hands now he crossed his arms and tucked both of them into his armpits.

Agnes turned as the doctor, the nurse and Jim all came back in.

"Who the hell are you, why are you in here and what are you doing with my patient?" The doctor walked round Agnes and started to pull the monitor back over to the bed.

She gave Dean's hand a gentle squeeze and turned her attention to the man beside her, tilting her head to read his name tag. "Doctor Wallace, my name is Dr Agnes Kennedy. I'm a retired cardiac surgeon, my specialty now is holistic treatments. I own and run the Manners Institute outside Blue Earth in Minnesota."

Jim was glad she'd left out the part about being a witch that could, if she really wanted, frazzle the man in front of her to a crisp.

"I've never heard of it and it doesn't explain what you are doing here. Julie can you get him onto oxygen please while I sort this." The doctor busied himself as he spoke.

"We're a centre for alternative research and medicine, Pastor Murphy…." she nodded at Jim "….is from our local church and he called me to consult regarding Dean."

The doctor stopped and turned to her. "And you call this a consult? You had no right touching my patient without going through me."

Agnes stood and towered over him. "I'm sorry, I didn't, but let's get one thing clear….I don't do pissing contests. I've been called in by the family and my only goal is getting this patient better. I'm here to move Dean to my centre, his family are looking to an alternative route to get him back on his feet."

John and Jim exchanged glances. Jim shrugged.

Doctor Wallace shook his head. "He's too weak to be moved at the moment."

"So what are you doing to improve the situation?" Agnes always hated this bit, the bit where she had to stomp on a fellow professional's feet because he didn't know the true facts of what he was dealing with.

"We're monitoring him." He looked at the dead machine beside him. "Or we were until you arrived."

"So do you know what caused the attacks?"

"No. Not yet."

"But you know how to prevent another one? Stop him dying again in your care?"

"No….but…"

"And of course you know what treatment you're going to use on a man that's had two cardiac arrests here and a few suspected heart attacks before he got here, despite the fact he doesn't and never has shown any signs of heart problems or disease before?" She crossed her arms.

The doctor glared at her. "Why don't we take this outside." He glanced at John. "Mr. Andrews would you like to come too." He pointed to the door.

"Fine, let's get this over with." Agnes strode out the door.

"I'll be with you in just a minute." John pulled Jim to the side. "I thought you'd only asked her help on the hex. I don't think I want to entrust my son's health care to a witch."

Jim looked at Dean and then back to John. "Not even the one that managed to wake him up? She's good John, really good. One of the best healers I've seen, even if her source is a little….corrupted…if she can get Dean better does it matter?"

"Jim we fight against people like her, hell it was someone like her that cursed him in the first damn place. Now you want me just to trust her?"

"John she didn't have to come here. Agnes isn't like that, she's a good person. She didn't have to help. I told her how bad things were and then I left her hanging. She could have just put the phone down and left it at that. You saw what she just did there. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth here John, if anyone can get Dean back on his feet, Agnes can."

John sighed. "Do you trust her?"

"Yes. I wouldn't have called for her help otherwise." Jim looked at John seeing the struggle that was going on inside his friend.

John rubbed his hand across his forehead. "Fine then. That's good enough for me. Let's see what she can do for him."

---

Sam waited until the nurse had finished and then he moved close again, taking Dean's hand again but ensuring that this time he wasn't holding it in a death grip.

"Dean?"

Sam knew that his brother could hear him, it looked like for the moment though he was choosing to ignore him, not that Sam could blame him.

Sam lent over, closer to Dean's face. "I'm sorry."

Dean turned his head, just a little movement to allow him to look at his brother. He just stared at Sam, no emotion on his face at all, before he turned his head away again. Sam looked down as Dean withdrew his hand from his own and slow brought it across his chest, rolling ever so slightly, almost as if to put his back to him.

"Dean?"

He watched as his brother closed his eyes and shut him out completely. Sam's tears trailed his face at his brother's obvious rebuke and he turned slowly, picked his jacket up and walked to the door.

He never saw his brother's own tears fall as he closed the door gently behind him and walked away.

---

Two days and a heap of paperwork later and Dean had been on his way to the Institute from where, after a brief overnight stop and a myriad of tests, he was taken to Jim's house in Blue Earth.

Agnes had decided that he was well enough for Jim and his family to tend to him with two of her nurses paying a visit to see to the medicinal side of things and herself paying short visits to heal him.

Jim's bedroom was informally converted to a hospital room and Jim bunked in the room that Dean would normally had shared with Sam.

It was now a week since the hex had been broken and although Dean was still seriously feeling the after-effects, Agnes was pleased overall with his improvement. Physically he was getting stronger every day, she was doing a small healing session with him every evening and although she knew it caused him pain she could see that it was helping. Dean was off the oxygen. His breathing was easier if still a little laboured, his pulse rate steady and his blood pressure was now more in the area she would like it to be.

The feeding tube had been taken out and he was on a liquid diet, which by and large he had managed to keep down, only still having occasional bouts of sickness. She was planning on seeing if they could get him on his feet in the next day or two which would allow the removal of the catheter and then they would see about getting him outside, a little fresh air and sun and maybe some gentle walking to get him mobile again.

All in all things were moving in the right direction but there was still one thing that was concerning her, something that she couldn't fix with a laying on of hands.

Dean was refusing to talk.

To anyone.

Even Sam.

Whenever Sam or John went in to tend to him he just lay there with his eyes closed and refused to acknowledge them. Jim had taken over the role of carer as Dean would at least respond to him but even then he wouldn't talk.

If it was worrying her though, it was driving his family to the edge. John's temper was becoming worse each day and Sam was becoming more and more withdrawn the longer the time rolled on and his brother wouldn't speak to him.

It didn't surprise her then when John cornered her about it.

"He'll talk in his own time. He's been through a lot and it probably will still hurt to speak at the moment, his throat will be raw from the tubes and with him still being sick. You have to give him time. This isn't an illness that Dean's suffered, it was a hex. It was a damn good one as well. So he's dealing with the physical pain that's been caused to him while trying to sort the emotional damage that's come with it. He's isn't just going to get over it because you want him to, he needs to work through it in his own time and his own way and you will just have to wait until he does. Like it or not."

"But he isn't even talking to Sam. Dean _never _shuts his brother out. Ever." John brushed his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to do to make it right."

Agnes sighed and touched his hand. "You can't do anything to make this right. Dean will talk when he's ready, not before." She stood to head back in to do her healing session with Dean. "You might not like what he has to say thought when he does start talking."

John raised his head. "Why? Did he speak to you about something?"

"No, all I get are shakes and nods to answer my questions. Not talking isn't Dean's way of trying to punish you or Sam over this. Maybe he just wants to get better and get his head straight before he has to deal with talking about how he feels."

"It's killing Sam, he thinks Dean blames him for what happened to him. Dean needs to tell him that he doesn't."

"Dean at the moment doesn't need to do anything that he doesn't want to I'm afraid John." She turned to go into the room. "I'll talk to him, see if he'll speak to me or I'll ask Jim to try again. I need to go in and get started."

With that she walked through and closed the door behind her.

---

Dean was lying staring out of the french doors, watching something. He turned as she came up to the side of the bed.

"How are feeling today then?"

He shrugged and turned his attention back to whatever he had been watching before she had interrupted him. Following his gaze she saw that Sam was in his usual position, on the lawn chair that sat on Jim's little porch area outside the bedroom.

"He still there? Looks like someone's waiting for you to forgive him, in fact if it doesn't happen soon he might end up in here beside you."

She knew that would get his attention, his gaze coming back to fall on her. There was worry in his eyes, Agnes took that as a good sign. She started checking his stats as she spoke. "He's eating, sleeping and talking less than you are. Keeps going this way you'll end up nursemaiding him." Agnes sat on the edge of the bed. "So are you going to talk to anyone anytime soon? Is it because you can't or you don't want to?"

He dropped his head.

She waited.

Finally he looked at her again and raised his hand to gently rub at his throat.

"Is it a little bit of both?"

He nodded.

Agnes pushed his head up and took the penlight from the bedside table. "Throat's still sore then?" She laughed at the look on his face." Ok, so that was a dumb question, I'm sorry. Open." She shone the torch in and tutted. "Throat's still pretty red there, we'll see if we can get you something to ease that. So what about your other reason, going to tell me why you don't want to?"

Dean shook his head.

"Fine. Take your shirt off and let's get on with the good part then eh?"

Dean's little grin almost earned him a slap. "Anymore of that and I'll wash your mind out with soap, and I'm a witch, don't think I can't do it." His grin faltered slightly at the mention of the word witch. She held up her hands. "Sorry, sometimes I don't think before I speak." She helped him finish taking off the shirt and then pushed him back down.

"Close your eyes."

---

_The healing sessions hurt him, it was like little bolts of electricity passing through him, but the relief that they brought after she had finished was worth it. It was almost as if she had reached inside and was massaging the pain away from his heart and his lungs. While she was touching him the dull ache that he felt there eased and even after she had finished it was kept at bay for a few hours, letting him sleep, until it gradually grew again. Each time she did it the pain returned but each time it lessened. _

_--- _

"Dean?" Her voice cut into his little blissful haze. "I'm going to go now, I'll send Jim in with something for you to eat and then you need to sleep alright?"

He nodded but didn't open his eyes, afraid that he would chase away the feeling of peace that was hugging him just now.

"Do you want your shirt back on?"

He shook his head.

"Ok then. I'll see you tomorrow." She lent forward. "You should talk to them." With that she stood and left.

He opened his eyes and turned his head as he heard the door shut.

"Why?" His voice was no more than a croak. "They never listen."

He turned back to stare at his brother lying curled on the chair outside and sighed.

-


	13. Chapter 13

Author's notes

Woo. Lots of love for the last chapter. Thank you so much. I will update reviews shortly!

Jim and John and then a little bit with Agnes and Dean. Enjoy!

Mary x

-

Getting there 

Jim was making something for Dean to eat for lunch when John walked into the kitchen.

He watched as his friend almost collapsed on the chair at the table. "How's he doing?" John grabbed the coffee pot from the stand on the table and filled his cup as he spoke. His whole demeanour screamed tired. And pissed off.

"He's getting there. I think he's still hurting a bit. His throat's still sore, Agnes is going to get something dropped off for him to take for it." Jim finished off the tray and turned to John. "How are you? Have you even slept at all?"

John snorted. "Just great. And no."

Jim watched as his friend unconsciously played with the ring on his hand and sighed. "Ok. Give me a minute to take this through to Dean and then we're going to talk." He disappeared for a few minutes and then returned, poured a coffee and then sat opposite the other hunter. "Spill. Something is really worrying you, more than Dean just being ill. What is it?"

John never lifted his eyes from his wedding band. "It's the not talking, the ignoring me when I try to speak to him….it just reminds me that's all."

"Of what?" Jim took a sip of his coffee and waited for John to speak.

"The night Mary died. The months after it. I had to get him help in the end. They said it was stress or shock but it wasn't. I learned that later."

Jim scratched his head. "You've lost me John."

"Dean's done this before. After his mother died. The not talking. It went on for weeks Jim, I tried everything….." John wiped his faced. "On top of losing Mary, it almost killed me, I can't go through that again."

Jim sat for a spell before he spoke. "It's not the same John."

"Isn't it? It wasn't stress or shock that stopped Dean talking before, he was angry, he blamed me for not saving his mother. He was too young, he didn't understand at the time that it wasn't my fault. He's angry at us now, me and Sam, I can feel it. This is his way of showing it. This is what Dean does, he shuts you out." John stood. "I should go try talking to him again."

"John, Dean isn't angry with you or Sam. This isn't the fault of either of you. John maybe now isn't the best time. You're on edge and he's just finished a session with Agnes. Why don't you sleep on it tonight and try in the morning?"

"It feels like my fault. I can't sleep on it Jim. I have to try now. Maybe if I can provoke a reaction….."

"No." Jim gripped his arm. "That is such a bad idea."

"Then what Jim? What do I do to get him to talk to me?"

"I don't know John, but forcing him isn't the way, you'll just make things worse."

John shrugged him off. "I let him away with it for too long the last time Jim I'm not doing it again."

John headed for the kitchen door and ran smack into Sam. He had been coming in to use the bathroom, but the raised voice of his father drew him into the kitchen.

"You're not going in there to start a fight with him. He isn't up to it." Sam blocked the doorway.

"I'm not going to start a fight, I'm going to get him to talk to me."

John tried to push past but Sam blocked him again.

"How won't that start a fight? Are you just gonna ask him nicely? I don't think that's gonna work."

"John…Sam." Jim tried to get in the middle. "Dean doesn't need you hear you guys arguing again, especially not over him."

John turned. "Well then if Sam just does what he's told for once, we won't be fighting."

Sam's temper rose despite his best effort to keep it in check but he kept his voice low. "Everything has to be done your way doesn't it? On your terms? What you want? When you want? Dean's ill and you're going to go in there and bully him into talking to you. Well I'm not gonna let you."

John grinned. "Oh yeah? How are you gonna stop me?"

Sam squared up in front of John, using his height to push in against the older man, shoving Jim out of the way. "Oh I'll stop you."

"You two just never learn do you?"

Agnes strode over and handed a bottle to Jim. "That's the stuff I told you I'd get for Dean, I wasn't coming back today with it but I forgot my bag and there are papers in it I need." She turned to John. "Just as well I did thought." She stood shoulder to shoulder with Sam both of them easily towering over the hunter, despite his six foot frame. "If I catch you in the room with him and you've upset him in anyway I'll make what the other witch did to him look like nothing."

She poked John in the chest. "Your son has had two heart attacks and even though they were not brought on naturally they have still taken their toll on him. If you stress him you'll make him worse again and I might just let you know how he's feeling first hand." She grabbed John's arm and he cried out as the short, sharp pain rode through his chest. "Hurts doesn't it? Try upping that by ten and you'll know what Dean has been through."

"And as for you." She turned to Sam. "I know you were trying to protect your brother this time but that angry streak is what got you all here in the first place and you need to find a way to put a lid on it before it makes you do something that you'll regret forever. It almost has already."

She strode over to Dean's room and walked in slamming the door behind her. Resting against the solid frame for a spell she closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"See what I have to put up with?" His voice was just above a whisper.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "So, you can talk, I was beginning to wonder. How much did you hear? And why haven't you just shot them and put them out of their misery yet?" She walked over and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Enough. And they're family, can't shoot 'em….although sometimes…." Dean smiled softly as she laughed.

"I've left stuff with Jim for that throat. Here take a drink." She filled the glass on the bedside table from a jug and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He drank slowly, almost letting the water trickle down his throat instead of swallowing.

She waited until he was done and then placed the glass back for him. "Well at least it got you talking to me but if you don't want to talk to them…I won't tell if you won't."

"I want to be able to tell them what I think of them, doesn't quite get your point across when Marcel Marceau can talk louder than you." He croaked at her.

She laughed again. "Say, how do you fancy getting to sit outside for a spell? I'll take that catheter out and we'll get you on your feet."

His voice was tiring, loosing volume again. "You'll take it out?"

"I replaced it when you got here, although you were out at the time. It isn't something I haven't done a hundred times before, I might run the clinic but I still like to stay hands on."

"I'll bet you do." He raised an eyebrow and then coughed as he laughed.

She winked at him. "Only with the good looking young men, job has to have some perks. What do you say, going to make an old lady's day?"

"Only if your hands are warm and you'll be gentle with me." His sore throat made his voice rough and low, sexy almost. And there was a definite flirting, a teasing in his tone.

"They are and I'll be very gentle with you. If you want me to be." She could play that game too.

He rolled his eyes. "If it gets me outta this bed, it's fine, go ahead." He half laughed, half coughed again as she pulled back the covers, when his face coloured she wasn't sure if he was blushing or struggling for air. Probably a bit of both she decided.

She made quick work of removing it and then went over to the small bathroom to empty it and wash her hands. She couldn't resist a little joke as she came back. "Looks like my hands were cold after all."

"Hey!" She loved the way he blushed, definitely a blush this time, as he pulled the cover over himself. "That was low. Do you want to go back on my bad list?"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist it, I mean Jim has told me at lot about you. You've got a hell of a reputation to live up to." She couldn't resist the little lift of her eyebrows.

He shot her a killer smile, the first really genuine one that she had seen on his face. "It's all deserved too." He folded his arms across his chest. "At least I haven't had any complaints yet." The smile changed to a provocative grin. She thought that there was more than a little bit of the devil in this one, a bit more of the Dean she knew she had yet to meet.

Agnes stifled the laugh but not the smile. "Flirting with a woman twice your age is very brave Mr. Winchester, flirting with one that's a witch too, now that's down right dangerous."

"Not as dangerous as flirting with a Winchester." A flash of mischievous shot through his green eyes.

"You leave a lot of road kill behind you, do you?"

He laughed at that. "My fair share."

"Let's get you…..on your feet." They both laughed at her careful choice of phrasing. After helping him back into his t-shirt and waiting until he had pulled sweatpants on, Agnes helped him up.

"You know." Dean stood and found he had to lean on her fully for support, his legs complaining already about the week of non-activity. "You're not bad for an old witch. "

"Less of the old thank you. You're not bad for a hunter, and you haven't seen my dark side yet." She took his full weight and helped him over to the french doors.

Surprised by how easily she managed to keep him upright Dean turned his head to her. "No offence, but I don't think I want to."

"What, having been on the bad books of one witch is enough for a lifetime?"

"Exactly." Dean lowered himself into the chair with a groan. "Been there, got the t-shirt."

She fetched a cover off the bed and put it over him. "I'll get that bottle for your throat and tell Jim to come give you some. He'll check on you every half hour or so." She caught the eye roll. "No argument over that or I'll carry you back into bed just now…and don't think I can't."

She ignored the quiet 'yes mom'. The confident man of mere moments before replaced now with a petulant boy.

"Don't stay out here too long if the temperature drops ok? I need to go, but I'll be back in the morning."

"Ok." Dean lent back in the chair and drew as deep a lungful of the fresh air as he dared, relishing the sun's rays on his cool skin. He started to cough again as the cold air made it's way down, couldn't stop this time, realised that he was going to be sick at the same time as Agnes seemed to magic a sick bowl in front of him. She held his head as he threw up the little soup that he had managed to get down that day. Finally, it stopped and Agnes disappeared for a moment, obviously getting rid of the bowl and its contents. She knelt down beside him.

"If you keep being sick like this we might have to put the feeding tube back in."

She saw the panic flare in his eyes. "No." His voice this time wasn't even a croak. "I've been fine all day, it was the coughing….honest."

"You sure?" Her look bored through him.

"Promise."

She touched his face. "Fine, we'll watch it for a couple of days, then we'll see what we're going to do. Right." Standing she dropped a hand to his shoulder. "I'm off." Walking to the door she stopped and turned back again. "If you get a visit from a frog….you'll know that your Dad pissed me off on my way out."

His laughter started him coughing again.

"Sorry." She went to step back towards him but he waved her away as he got it under control. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded afraid to speak in case it set him off again.

---

Agnes blatantly ignored John when she walked from the room, smiling as she could feel the bad vibes coming her way. She stopped in front of Jim. "He's up and outside for a while. Can you make sure that he takes that bottle I gave you and that he doesn't sit outside too long?"

"I will."

"I'll be back in the morning." Flicking her hair back from her face she turned and walked over to John. "I let Dean come back here because I thought it would help him, having his family to look after him. If you so much as make him cough I'm going to get him transported back to my clinic. Do you understand?"

He was itching to tell her to go to hell but Dean needed her just now so he managed to do a very unWinchester like thing….John bit his tongue and just nodded.

"As long as you do." Picking up her bag she headed for the door not looking back as she left.

John waited a beat and then started. "Who the hell does she think she is? Ordering me around like some school kid."

Jim picked up the bottle. "Well maybe if you didn't behave like one John, she wouldn't have to." He brushed by his friend and made his way over to Dean's room not turning as he heard John crash out the front door.

Sam stepped up as he reached the door. "Can I take that to him?"

Jim hesitated for a moment and then handed the bottle to the youngest Winchester. "Go easy now."

"I will." With that he slipped through the door into his brother's room. He walked over and picked up a spoon from the bedside table, checked it was clean and approached his brother cautiously.

"Dean?"

His brother didn't stir, and Sam thought for a moment that he was sleeping, then he realised that he wasn't. Dean had drew in a long breath at the sound of his voice which he had yet to let out.

"It's ok, you don't have to talk to me. I just brought you this to take." Putting the bottle on the table he turned and went to walk away. "I'll get Jim to come in."

As he reached the door the one word stopped him in his tracks.

"Sam." It was barely above a whisper.

Sam took a little breath and turned. He realised as he stepped forward that he couldn't remember when he'd last heard his brother speak his name.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks for reading and reviewing again folks.

Dean and Sam next…..


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

HI

Gosh, thanks for the smashing reviews for the last chapter, I had fun with that one, it was a little lighter. This one...not so much.

The boys have a little talk. No Agnes this time, she'll be back next though.

Stepping Back, Letting Go

"Dean?"

He didn't move closer, just stood there, shuffling on the spot a little.

Opening his eyes Dean turned his head to looked at his brother, Sam only moving forward when Dean pointed to the chair across from him. Sitting down Sam watched as his brother opened the bottle and took a spoonful, smiling as Dean screwed up his face as he swallowed, a small 'uh' escaping him as the mixture passed over his tongue.

There was a little silence before either of them spoke again.

"Hey." Putting down the bottle Dean half smiled at his brother.

"Hey." Sam felt like someone had lifted the weight of the world off his shoulders with that one word and gesture.

They sat again in silence until Sam couldn't bare it any longer.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ok. I am so sick of soup. Jim's a lousy cook, worse than Dad." Dean pushed himself further up in the chair, grimacing as a little pain worked its way through his chest. Closing his eyes he willed it away.

Sam smiled at his brother's words and then grew serious again. "Dean, I'm sorry."

Dean rolled his head away and Sam thought that his brother was going to go back to ignoring him. "Dean please don't shut me out anymore, I didn't mean you to get hurt and by the time I figured it out you were….you…." A little sob tore through him exploding from him like a hiccup.

"What was it about?"

Turning his head back Dean locked eyes with his brother, his voice still barely above a whisper, a dry, raspy tone to it.

"What was what about?" Sam wiped at the tears on his face with his hand as his brother tried not to notice them.

Dean coughed slightly, brought his hand up to rest on his chest and then grimaced, a small groan escaping him.

Going back into the room, Sam poured a glass of water from the jug at the bedside and brought it back, going to hold it up to Dean's lips. His brother stopped him and took it into his own hand.

"I can manage." It was a little bit of a growl and Sam looked hurt. Dean smoothed it over. "Thank anyway."

He took a slip of the water and Sam watched as he struggled to swallow it. He coughed again, easier this time.

"What was it about?"

The voice was stronger this time as he asked again, the edge in it clearer, a little undercurrent of anger in it.

Sam still looked at him confused.

Dean sighed. "The fight?"

More of an edge this time.

"The ones that you guys where so busy having in the hospital that you missed the fact that it was _killing_ me." Dean resisted adding 'more than usual' to the sentence. There was a clear vein of anger in his voice now that started him coughing again. This time he let Sam raise the glass for him to drink unable to hold it steady himself as the painful spasms wracked through his frame.

"It was nothing." Sam shrugged and busied himself putting the glass back on the little table between the chairs pointedly not looking across at his brother. "Just a fight. You know Dad and me…." He began playing with the bracelet on his wrist still not looking up.

Dean let out a little huff of air. Avoidance. He knew the tactic well, hell he may even have invented it.

"Really? Well that's comforting." Turning this time, Dean rolled in the chair, onto his side away from his brother. "Nice to know that me almost dying was over something important." Although Dean's voice was still low the tone of it ripped into Sam.

"Dean. Please. It was just a stupid fight."

The long silence pulled at Sam.

"I can't…can't do this."

Dean mistook the meaning of the statement. "Fine, then why don't you just leave."

Sam paused so long that Dean began to wonder if he had until his voice sounded again. "That's what the fight was about."

It was said so low that Dean was sure he'd misheard it, then he realised that he hadn't. It got his attention and Sam watched as he righted himself in the chair again. "What? You're leaving? When? Why?" Disbelief replaced the annoyance in his tone.

Sam shook his head. "No, not yet, but I want to."

The silence and Dean's blank stare was so disconcerting that Sam felt the urge to fill the gap again. "I want to go to college, I can't do _this_ anymore." He gestured at Dean. "I hate our life."

"College?" Disbelief moulded into incredulity. "I almost died 'cos you guys were fighting over you wanting to leave to go to _college_?" Snorting Dean shook his head at his brother. "You picked a good time to open up that can of worms Sam, what…you figured that you'd give Dad and me a heart attack at the same time? Kill us both with one blow? Leave the way out wide open for you."

"Don't joke about it."

"Who says I'm joking Sam."

"I wanted you to come with me." Sam blurted out the sentence almost as a desperate plea to appease his brother.

"Well that would have finished it. He obviously took that well or I wouldn't be lying here." Dean looked out across the garden. "And what would you have me doing while you're in school Sam?"

"You could get a job, we could share an apartment." Sam's voice had a hopeful edge to it.

Shifting uncomfortably in the chair Dean exhaled slowly, the pain in his chest starting to fire up again caused this time by his own agitation. "I've got a job already Sam."

Sam's fuse was lit. His voice raised. "What we do…..it isn't a job Dean. It's a death sentence waiting to happen. I mean _look_ at you. Is this really what you want to do for the rest of your life? Don't you want a normal job, a normal life?" Anger and pleading vied in Sam's tone.

"And what would I do for a job then Sam? What do you see me doing? No High School diploma. So what am I good for? Bussing tables? Dishwashing? Mechanic?" It was his anger this time that caused the pain to start to trickle up his arm and through his chest . He paused and calmed himself before continuing. "I don't want to be a _nothing_ Sam in a dead end job. I rather do this job even if that means it ends with me _dead _dead instead. At least I get to live before I die, I get to do something worthwhile." He sighed. "Sam…..I like my life, most of the time."

"Yeah? _Really_?" Scorn was loaded onto the word. "So you'd be happy doing this until your ninety?" Sam turned away, anger etched into his facial expression.

"Sam, I wouldn't be doing this when I'm ninety. I'll be lucky to be doing this when I'm fifty. Hell I almost didn't make twenty one. When did you ever see an old hunter? Dad, Bobby, Pastor Jim, Travis; they're about the oldest ones I know and they aren't exactly pushing their pension books. How many hunters that we know have died doing anything other than the job? Old age isn't a concern in this gig."

"Exactly. That's my point Dean. I don't want us to be just another statistic."

His brother laughed. "Sam we're all just statistics. Every god damned one of us."

Sam sat quiet for a moment, just looking at his brother. He dipped his head before he spoke again. "Dean. When you were dying I begged you not to leave me here on my own. I begged you to stay with me." Dean cleared his throat as he watched his brother wipe at his face with his sleeve and then Sam looked at him, his eyes brimming with tears. "It won't feel right without my big brother there. I mean…..you've always had my back. I'm begging you again now Dean….please, come with me?"

"I-I can't Sammy." His own tears were threatening now and he wasn't sure he was up to holding them back. He willed himself not to break.

"Why not. What is there for you here?"

"I can't leave Sammy, I just can't. _This_ is my life."

"It doesn't have to be Dean. You can be more than this, you just have to want to be."

"But maybe I don't Sam. I am what I am. A hunter. I'm good at it Sam. It's what I know. I feel….this…..this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Saving people. It feels right."

Sam huffed loudly. "So you're telling me your down with living your life in crappy motel rooms, living off of credit card scams and hustling in pool halls? Having no friends, having nothing that's yours?"

"Yes." Dean rubbed his forehead. "Kinda."

"You're a liar." The words were spat out.

Dean licked and then bit his bottom lip, trying to keep a lid on his emotions when his brother's were running hot in his face. "Sam, I may have moments when I hate Dad for the way he raised us but I understand why he did. He wanted us safe and to him that meant preparing us to fight anything that might try to harm us. And he did that Sam. I may hate the scanky motels room, the endless struggle just to keep our heads above water and being on the road all the time, but it doesn't mean that I don't just love getting in the car and going. I love not knowing where I'll be tomorrow or what I'll have to face. I love the job man. I love not having to work to someone else rules. I can't just be someone's grunt, I won't."

And at that Sam broke.

An angry tone mixed with tears of tiredness and frustration. "_What_? Did dying scramble your brain? That's all we are is grunts. You've met Dad right? The 'my way or the highway' man? All we do is live by someone else's rules."

Dean fought to stay calm. "He's our father Sam. There are supposed to be rules. Besides I know how to get round Dad….and fighting with him isn't the way. He doesn't tell us what to do because he wants to, it's because he has to. Someone has to be in charge Sam or it just doesn't work. Dad's not our boss, he's more like our guide down this road that we're on. He knows where we're going and he keeps us on the right road."

"_The right road?_ There is nothing right about the road we're on Dean." Sam was almost shouting now, on his feet, pacing in front of him.

Sighing Dean followed his brother's movements. "Sam….Dad's taught me more than I ever learned in school and I can't just leave him. I just can't. He needs us Sam. We're his reason for doing this in the first place."

"Bullshit, his reason for doing this is revenge and I don't want any part of it. I don't intend to be a reason for much longer." Sam folded his arms and huffed. "Even if you won't come with me, I'm going."

Wiping his hand across his face Dean leaned back in the chair, his energy drained by his brother's mood, his pain level rising despite his best efforts not to let Sam's rant get to him. The tightening in his chest scaring him at little. "I know that and I know that I can't stop you, however much I might want to. Your going to do what you want Sammy 'cos that what you always do."

Sam knelt down in front of the chair that Dean was on, noting that his brother was tiring, his voice fading. He softened his own tone realising that it was him that was stressing him. "Don't be like that"

"Like what…it's the truth. I'm not picking a fight here Sam I'm stating a fact."

"Well your going to side with Dad because that what _you_ always do." Sam huffed again in spite of his good intentions.

"Touché little brother." There was another pain in Dean's heart and this one he knew had nothing to do with what had been done to him, well not directly. The words cut him even as he spoke them.

"I think you should go for it."

He laughed at the stunned look on his brother's face. "Don't get me wrong I don't want you to leave but if it's what you want, you should apply to college Sam. If you hate the life that much it'll only make it worse if you don't get to at least try to follow your dreams. You'll hate us for holding you back."

Sam frowned. "Why are you saying that? I thought you'd side with him? Tell me I can't go. Try to stop me."

"And what would you do if I did that Sammy? Wouldn't you just go anyway? I don't want to fight with you over this Sam. I want the best for my little brother and if that means loosing you to college, then I'm fine with that."

Dean's face told Sam that he was anything but fine with telling him that it was alright to leave.

"You don't mean that."

"Yeah…I do, hell I'll even help you with Dad, if I can." His voice dropped quieter, became more hoarse and he looked away from his brother's face again. "I don't want you to end up hating me Sam."

"I couldn't hate you Dean, you're my big brother." Sam gripped his hand and he thought that he was going to lose it right there.

There was another silence before Dean got control again and broke it. He changed the subject slightly. Avoidance. Pity there wasn't a college course on that, he'd ace it. "So, what are you thinking of going to study?"

"Law." Sam eyes lit up. "I still want too help people, just not the way we do it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "God help the lawyer that has to go up against you in an argument. I feel sorry for the guy already."

"Funny." Sam was so happy that he couldn't see how it was breaking his brother's heart.

Again.

Dean was close to the edge, he could feel it building in him. He had to get Sam out of the room. "Sam. I'm kinda tired. Can you get Jim for me? I want to go back inside."

"I'll do it." Sam half stood, moving to place his arms under his brother's shoulders to lift him.

Shaking his head Dean shrugged him off. "No. Just get Jim for me. Please? I-I want to talk to him anyway." He couldn't bare to let Sam see how weak he was really feeling at this moment.

Sam changed his movement from an attempt to lift his brother to pulling him up into a quick impromptu hug.

Dean somehow managed to swallow the lump in his throat, to make his voice light. "Sam?" He raised his eyebrows as his brother pulled back a little. "Get the hell off me."

"Jerk." Sam's smiled warmed Dean's heart just for a little until he felt the hole open up inside him and he fought back the tears for the last time. Sam seemed to sense that he needed him to go. " I'll get Jim for you." And with that he was gone.

"Bitch." Muttering the word to no one he closed his eyes and waited on Jim. He hugged his arms tightly to his chest to ease the pain that was building there. Feeling the shakes start in him, he dropped his head down and the first sob tore itself free, finally giving his emotions their long awaited release.

He'd always known somehow that it was heading to this.

He knew that he couldn't stop it no matter how much he wanted to.

His brother was going to leave.

He gave his heartache its out just the same way that he had just given his brother his out.

He didn't care what Jim would think when he came in.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi, Goodness, thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter, I loved that one, loved Dean in it and so I'm glad that you guys did too.

Jim and Agnes both tend to Dean now but Agnes lets slip something that John is not happy about...at all.

Friends and Family

Jim stepped into the room and stopped, listening as the soft sound drifted to him on the late summer breeze. It was a sound that he had not heard often in the decade plus that he had known the Winchester family, and he knew now why Sam had been asked to fetch him.

Reaching behind him he locked the door and stepped forward to see what had happened that had been so bad it had reduced Dean Winchester to tears.

"Let's get you up." He ignored the tear stains that streaked Dean's face and his t-shirt and helped the young boy to his feet, taking as much weight as he could while helping him back to the bed. He settled Dean on the edge and went over, shut the doors to the porch and then rummaged in Dean's bag for a fresh shirt for him.

"Here, let's get this one off and a new one on." It worried him slightly how compliant and quiet Dean had gone as he helped him change, it was even more than he had been lately. Going to dispose of the damp t-shirt in the washing basket in the bathroom, he stopped to fetch a cloth and a towel, and then went to sit back on the bed beside his young charge.

"Here." Handing the items to Dean he watched as he slowly wiped the evidence of his upset from his face and then lay down and slid under the covers. Jim disposed of the towel and cloth, coming back to sit in the spot that he had just vacated. He reached over and opened the pill bottle next to the bed and handed two and a drink to Dean. "Time for you to take these, then I'll see about getting you something to eat and settled for the night. No more visitors I think though."

Dean took the glass and dutifully, if slowly, swallowed the tablets. Jim felt himself relax as he spoke. "Thank you." Jim wasn't sure if Dean meant for the help or the not asking.

Maybe both.

"I'm a very good nursemaid. And an even better listener."

Dean smiled at him. "Better bedside manner than Agnes, at least you didn't try to flirt with me."

Jim laughed, taking his cue from Dean to keep the conversation light. "I don't think you'd appreciate that somehow. Wait, Agnes was flirting with you? You really do have superpowers with women don't you?"

"Yeah. Irresistible, that's me." Dean gave a half grin as he closed his eyes, tiredness from his upset consuming him.

"Hey." Jim nudged him. "No sleeping until I feed you. If Agnes finds out I'm starving her new boyfriend it won't be pretty."

He was rewarded with a soft smile.

"I'll get that food for you."

"Jim?" The older man stopped halfway in standing. "What you bring….it ain't food."

Even though the little joke was forced Jim took it as a good sign, encouraged it. "I know son. Once we get you on your feet I'll take great delight in taking you out for a double cheeseburger with the works, but for the moment your stuck with slops. I have strict instructions from she who must be obeyed."

"You scared of her?" Dean almost managed a grin.

"Hell, I think even your Dad is scared of her!"

Dean laughed this time. "She told me if he annoyed her then she was gonna turn him into a frog."

Jim laughed heartily at that. "She probably would as well! Just because she doesn't practice black magic does means she can't be a mean old witch when she wants. Be thankful she taken a shine to you."

They shared a smile at that and the older man stood and headed to the door only for Dean to stop him as he unlocked it.

"Jim. Sam told me he wants to leave. Go to college."

The tremble in the young Winchester's voice called Jim back to the bedside. He stood and dropped his head, realising now why one Winchester son was on a high and the other looked as if his world had been ripped out from under him.

"That's what upset you." It was a statement of fact but Dean shook his head at it.

"No." Dean's voice did break this time on that single word. The next words were almost a breathless whisper. "I told him he could go."

Jim managed somehow to stop the sharp inhale of breath that the small sentence caused, bewilderment replaced quickly with the knowledge that he'd not have expected Dean to do anything else.

"That must have been a very hard, painful thing for you to do, a brave one. You did the right thing Dean, but then that's what you always try to do." Jim wanted to hug the devastation from the posture of the boy in front of him.

"Doesn't feel like that." Dean closed his eyes again and bit his bottom lip, jaw clenching against the emotion in him. He wasn't going to cry again. Jim gently cupped his chin in his hand, lifting Dean's face up to look at his. He waited until the expressive green eyes opened and locked on his own. "It'll be alright Dean, you'll see. I'll get you that soup now."

"Yeah, thanks again Pastor Jim." It was a long time since Dean has used his Sunday title, it made him sound younger and more vulnerable that Jim knew he could ever allow himself to be.

"Anytime Dean. I'll always be here if you need me."

With that Jim patted him on the shoulder and left.

----

It was eight o'clock the next morning when Agnes arrived and she was pleased to see that John and Sam were in the kitchen talking like normal people. She could feel a change in Sam's mood. It was lighter than it had been and she wondered briefly for a moment at its cause, his father's still hanging over the house like a thunder cloud. She skirted round the door not really in the mood for any discussion with either of them.

Opening the door to Dean's room she paused and took in the position that he was lying in the bed, his posture saying more to her than his mouth ever could.....or would.

He was curled on his side, arm tucked tight against his chest and it was easy to see that he had been upset. His red-rimmed eyes were closed and she could tell he was in a shallow, uneasy sleep.

Something had obviously happened between her leaving last night and arriving back this morning. Yesterday she was pleased to see him gaining a little ground but looking at him lying there she felt he had slipped back a long way.

"So help me God if that Neanderthal of a father of yours ignored my warning, I _will_ turn him into a damned frog. That's if he's lucky."

She dropped her bag and sat down on the bed, gently shaking Dean, schooling her face into a smile and pushing her worry away from her eyes. "Dean?"

He shifted almost immediately, rolling onto his back and rubbing sleepily at his eyes.

"Rough night?" The tone was soft as she spoke.

"Didn't sleep much." His voice was a little stronger this morning but he seemed to have weakened. She looked at the paleness of his face and knew what was causing it.

"Your in pain. Did you take your meds?" She busied herself taking readings, frowning at his heart rate and his blood pressure. She sighed. Both where too high for someone that had been resting all night.

He nodded. "It just hurts a little this morning." He groaned as he tried to push himself up and then looked at her. "Gonna rub it better for me?" He almost managed the smile that he tried to throw at her.

"If you're offering to let me, how could I resist." She was pleased that he was still fighting whatever it was that had set him back. "Let's get this shirt off."

"Pushy, pushy. Go easy, I'm ill remember." She laughed softly as she helped him take the t-shirt off, Agnes noticing that it bothered him to lift his left arm.

"I take it's chest pain then? What's up with your arm?"

"I think I was lying on it funny. It's nothing, just a little stiff is all." He was favouring it slightly as he lay back down.

"I'm the doctor kid, I'll be the judge of whether it's nothing or not." She touched her hands to his arm, closing her eyes and muttering something that he couldn't catch. Then she took to manoeuvring the arm slightly in a circle until he stopped grimacing every time she did it.

Dropping both hands to his chest she felt him relax as she started to heal him, the heat from them spreading in his chest and soothing him. "How's that?"

"Hands are definitely warm this time." He closed his eyes and started to drift on the relief that she was giving him from the pain that had been niggling him all night.

"Made sure of that for you. So, want to tell me what happened?"

The eyes flicked up, bright green orbs staring up at her from under his lower brow. Defensive. "What do you mean?"

"No games Dean. Something has upset you. I want to know what. Was it your Dad?"

He shook his head and she watched as he withdrew a little inside himself.

"Don't do that. Don't you hide from me. So it was Sam then."

The sigh was deep, his jaw clenching tight at the mention of his brother's name.

"What did he do?"

She could see the stubborn appear in his face.

"Nothing. We were just talking." He closed his eyes again and she lifted her hands, deliberately robbing him of the comfort she had been providing.

"Well if just talking to your brother does that to you maybe you should go back to ignoring him. What did he say that upset you?"

He looked at her from under long lashes as she spoke.

"I can feel it Dean, the pain, you can't hide it, not from me."

"My brother's leaving." She looked at him.

"And?"

"And I told him he could go." A small single tear ran down his face and she felt the sudden urge to go and strangled Dean's brother. Not concerntrating properly, she made the mistake of laying her hands on him just as he spoke. His hold slipping on his emotions caused the pain to spike through him and through her. She pushed back at it involuntarily.

"Sonuva….." He couldn't finish the curse.

"Dean!" She clamped her hand to his chest over his heart, her other hand snaking round his back to pull him to her. "Just breath through it, I'll do the rest." She rocked him gently until she felt him start to try and push her away and she let go, allowing him to fall back on the pillow. "Sorry. I wasn't excepting such a rush of emotion all at once, I pushed back a little too hard there."

"You think? That….hurt." She laughed at his petted lip.

Agnes moved round the bed to reach her bag. "I think you missed your calling in life." Her voice was muffled as she searched inside the large leather briefcase.

"What?"

"You should have been a baggage handler, all that crap that you're carrying around with you. You should learn to lighten the load Dean. Maybe your brother leaving will do that."

The look he shot her made her doubt that somehow and she fought the urge again to do Sam harm.

"Want to share less painfully this time? Well for me anyway." She pulled out a few bottles and a syringe which he eyed suspiciously.

"No, thanks. What's that for?"

She grinned evilly at him."Truth serum, I'm going to make you tell me all your deep, dark secrets."

"No way." He pulled his arms up across his chest not sure if she was joking or not.

"Re-lax, it's a little sedative to help you sleep for a while."

"Your mean." He held out his arm for her.

"I try. So little Winchester doesn't want to follow into the family business. What's he want to do then?"

She started the small talk, killing time until the drugs took hold. If his family were going to stress him that much just talking to him, she was going to give him relief anyway that she could, even if it meant keeping him drugged when she wasn't here.

"College. Law."

"That's a bit of a leap. Take it he's a smart cookie then?"

"Yeah. Top of his class despite the fact that we change schools as often as we do."

"Did you never want to go to college?" Agnes found she was curious.

"Nah, Sammy's the smart one, me, I never even finished High School." She hated the way that he put himself down in that sentence.

"Why? Too busy looking after your little brother?" Scored a direct hit on the nail on the head with that one she thought as he looked at her.

The lie was smooth, but she still caught it. "No, I didn't want to. Besides I hated school, why prolong the agony."

Touchy subject she could tell. She steered away. "So, I take it John's not best pleased with your brother then?"

"Did you have to use your witch mojo to work that one out?"

She liked the sarcasm, it suited him. "Cheeky."

He smiled. "Can I ask you something?"

"Oh, oh. Sounds ominous. What do you want to know?"

"How'd you end up a doctor, what with you being a witch and all?"

"I wanted to escape the family business too. It's a little harder though when you mother could literally stop you going. She makes your father seem like a light weight. My mother was not a nice person Dean and she did some horrid things. Some of them to me. She made a deal to become a witch and I always wondered if that made a difference."

"How?"

"She wanted to be a witch, she wanted to harm people, enjoyed hurting others. I was born with my abilities. I didn't have a choice. And I didn't want them. Not until I realised that I could use them for good. I think she hated me for that."

"Oh."

"So I went to university, I became a surgeon, specialised in heart surgery, and saved a lot of people's lives. And then I got bored."

"Really? How is that possible." He raised his eyebrows at her and she shrugged.

"What? It was all the same. I needed something different so I went back to what I was good at, with a little twist. I used my witch powers for good. I set up the clinic and now I don't just save people I help them, kinda like you do."

Dean shook his head. "I don't help people, I let them know that their worst nightmares are real and then I kill it for them. Save them yeah, help them…..not so much."

"Sure you do, first step is always saving people, sometimes from themselves, but then you need to show them that there are people out there that care. People that are willing to risk everything to do the right thing and help others and that sticks with them Dean Then they feel the need to spread that, so they help someone else, maybe not by saving their life but by helping them when before they may have just have walked right by. That's what you do Dean, you're the stone in the pond that causes the ripples."

"You make it sound so much more than it is." He settled further into the pillow.

"Do I?"

"Yeah. I kill evil things, saving people is just a bonus. Most of the time they don't even know who I really am."

"True, but they'll remember what you did for them. And that's what counts. So if hunting isn't the world's greatest job, why didn't you just up and leave? Get out while you still could. You seem the kind of person that could have Dean, if you really had wanted to."

"Didn't want to."

"Why not?"

"My Dad needed me."

"Because he had no one else to look after Sam?"

"Yeah, but that wasn't all of it." He yawned, and she realised that the drugs were kicking in.

"So what else was it?"

"He would have been too reckless. That's why I can't leave now, go with Sam." His eyes closed. "He can't be on his own."

"You're scared that your Dad will get hurt if your not around to protect him?"

His head rolled to the side, eyes glassy now. "I was always scared that he'd get hurt and that one day he just wouldn't come back." His voice sounded as if he was far away, lost in a memory.

"How long has your Dad been hunting Dean?"

"Since I was five."

"That's a long time. Is he hunting anything in particular?"

"Demon, killed my mom. Burned her on the ceiling of my brother's nursery." His eyes drifted shut and she knew that she was losing him.

"Does he know how you feel, about when he's away on his own?"

"No." The word must have registered somewhere because he opened his eyes, a little panic lit in them, pulling him back from the sleep that wanted to claim him. "You can't tell him, he'll worry. It'll distract him if he's worrying about us." He was voicing a fear, not really talking to her she realised.

Agnes lent forward and touched his hand. "I won't say Dean, sleep now. You'll feel better when you wake up."

She waited until his breathing evened out and then she left to go hunt down his brother.

---

Agnes barged into the kitchen and strode up to Sam causing his head to snap up. "A word."

"What's wrong? Is Dean alright?" He stood and followed her out to the library.

"He's fine but you might be about to go on the critical list. Sit!"

Sam obeyed like an obedient dog.

"Did I or did I not say that your brother wasn't to be stressed or upset in anyway when I left him here?"

"Yeah, but he's better. He was talking to me last night. We cleared a few things up."

"What, you told him you were leaving, that isn't going to stress him? It wouldn't upset your brother in anyway?" She put her hands on her hips.

"He said he was alright with it. He said that it was ok, that he understood." Sam looked at her, worry now etched in his face. "Told me he'd even help me talk Dad round."

"Why did you think he'd do that Sam? Is it because he wants you to leave?"

"No."

"Is it because he doesn't love you?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you think that telling him something like that wouldn't break his damn heart in a whole different way from what you almost did already. Don't you like your brother?"

Sam was anger now. "I love my brother."

"Well try acting like you do and put him first for a change. I've only known him a week and I know that he would do it for you or that father of yours. Why can't either of you do it for him?"

"I do. We do."

"Tell me something. How does Dean feel about you and your father fighting all the time?"

"He doesn't like it."

"And does he get in the middle of it? Try to stop it?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

"And yet you still do it, knowing how it makes him feel. Why?"

"I-I…."

"Exactly Sam, you took the word out of my mouth…..I….it's always about you. Maybe that's something you should look at." She picked up her bag. "Dean's sleeping, I gave him something because he didn't sleep very well last night after your talk, you know the one that he was happy with. I do not want him disturbed or distressed. Do I make myself clear?"

Sam nodded.

"I can't hear you?"

"Yes."

"Good."

She stomped off leaving Sam open mouthed. He walked out the room and straight into his father.

"Did she say that Dean told you it would be alright to go to college, to just up and leave?" John's voice was calm. Almost too calm Sam thought.

"He was just trying to make things easy for me Dad."

"I know that Sammy." John walked over to the door of Dean's room.

Sam tried to get in front of him. "He's sleeping. What are you going to do?"

John smile chilled him. "Nothing, I'm just going to sit with my son for a little while, make sure he's ok."

"Dad don't. She said he wasn't to get stressed." Sam clawed at his father's arm but John peeled him off.

"He's sleeping. How can I possibly stress him? I only want to sit with him for a bit." The smile was more genuine this time and Sam relaxed.

"Really?"

"Yes. Now haven't you got some research to do?"

"Will you call me if he wakes up?"

"I'll be sure to." There was that smile again Sam hesitated.

"Go." John slipped into the room and slammed the door in Sam's face.

Sitting down next to Dean's bed he settled back to wait. He tried not to let the edge be taken off his anger at Dean by the red circles round his son's eyes, highlighted by the paleness of his skin.

"Son, you and I need to have a little talk when you wake up."

He folded his arms across his chest and leaned in to Dean's face.

"You really screwed up this time."


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi there

So John was waiting for Dean to wake up.......

That's Just What Family Does

It was almost as if someone was tapping him on the shoulder, urging him to wake up. There was something in the room with him, something threatening and his hunter's instinct were screaming for him to sit up and protect himself.

It took every ounce of strength he had in him to pull himself to the surface and get his eyes to open. When he did he instantly wished that he hadn't bothered because glaring at him was the all too calm and collected face of his father.

Calm and collected that was until you looked at his eyes. His eyes were smoldering with a barely contained rage and Dean thought he had a good idea what had lit that particular fire, seeing as how that glare was directed at him.

John smiled at him coldly and he felt the ice from the look run into his bloodstream, the pain in his chest instantly jumping to attention as his heart rate picked up.

"How are you feeling?" The question was per functionary, asked because it needed to be, no hint of sentiment or feeling in it.

"Better." Dean dropped his eyes unable to keep a contact with the coldness in those of his father.

"That's good." The tone was hard, brittle.

Dean felt like a wounded animal that had been cornered, he had nowhere to run from the bullet that he knew was surely coming his way.

"I heard your talking again." John's eyes glittered in the dull light of the room. He had been on the boil for a little over four hours now and his pressure value was leaking. Rage had overcome reason.

"Yeah." Trying to push himself up Dean decided to stick to one word answers, seeing no point in prodding the agitated bear in front of him with a stick.

"I hear that your brother came to see you yesterday." The tone had changed now it was light, almost conversational. Somehow that was worse.

Dean swallowed nervously. "Yeah."

"Did you have a nice little _chat?_" The emphasis on the last word made the younger man's skin start to crawl and he knew was in trouble.

It was obvious that John had found out what he'd said to Sam and Dean knew that there was no way that had gone down well. His sons ganging up against him was how his father would see his actions.

"He seems pretty psyched about this college thing." John lent on the edge of the bed. "Especially after you told him it would be ok to go." John raised his head and reached across, pulling Dean's head up to make him look at him. "Now why would you do a thing like that? You must now how I would feel about him leaving Dean, yet here you are telling him he can. And without even as much as a referral to me. Without even as much as giving me my say and my place. _Why?_"

Dean felt dumb struck. His father's calm, easy tone worried him more than if he had just stood there and screamed at him. John was furious, he could tell and the fact that he hadn't just ripped him a new one didn't bode well. It didn't bode well at all.

"Cat got your tongue there Dean?" John waited for an answer that he knew wouldn't come. Dean had that 'deer in the headlights' look in his eyes. It made John smile. " If you're up to giving advice then I suspect you're up to taking it." He twisted Dean's head down to nearer his own. "Sam leaving for college is something for him and I to discuss. So why don't you stay out of things that don't concern you. I mean, who the _hell_ do you think you are that you feel it's your place to tell him that it's alright to just up and leave? Because it isn't. _You_ are _not_ his father. _That_, is not your call to make."

Anger bristled through Dean, he finally found his tongue. "I didn't make a call, my brother asked me what I thought about him leaving. I told him that I was alright with him wanting to make something out of his life. I won't apologise for it." Dean crossed his arms as much to ease the pounding pain in his chest as it was a gesture of defiance. "Going to college is his choice. Not yours. Not mine. His. And since when did it not concern me? Sam's my brother."

John stood. "So defensive there Dean when you seem to think that you've done nothing wrong. Seem a little gun ho for your brother to leave there kiddo. Is it really 'cos you want a better life for him or is it that you're so desperate to be the favoured son that you're willing to send away the competition?"

Reeling from the low blow Dean tried one of his own. "I didn't send him away he wants to go, besides he asked _me_ to go with him."

John snorted at that, cold rage fuelling his tongue. "Did he now? And do what exactly? What exactly are you good for in the real world Dean? You gonna wait on the tables that Sam and his new friends would be sitting at? Work in the local garage and fix his friend's cars? A janitor at his school maybe? Or some other low-paid job that would fit right in with your academic skills." John watched Dean recoil at his words not realising that he had echoed Dean's own low opinion of what his place in his brother's life would be when he had spoken to Sam.

John knew though he had hit him in a place that hurt. Now he was going to wrack that pain up. "So what did you say Dean? Going to be a busboy for your brother and his college buddies?"

Dean felt his tears of anger prick his eyes at the slight, but he fought them back. "I told him no, that you needed me here."

"Did you now." A soft, cruel laugh escaped his father's lips as he went in for the kill. "Well maybe you should have just taken your brother up on his offer." He took the knife, stabbed it in and twisted. "I mean without him to watch, _what the hell possible use would I have for you?_"

John stood not needing to look at Dean's face to see just how badly his words would have hurt. "Now I'm going to send your brother in and your damned well going to talk him out of this, do you understand me?" He turned to walk towards the door.

"No." Dean's head was down as he turned round.

"_What _did you say?" John swiveled back but held his place.

"I said **no**. I won't do it. Do you know how much it cost me to tell my brother he could just _go_?" Dean's head raised with his voice, stronger and louder than he had managed before, a real anger beginning to boil inside of him that drove him on. "Do you have _any_ idea just how hard this is for _me_? If you want to stamp on Sam's dreams then go ahead but leave me out of it! I am not getting in the middle of this."

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have stuck your nose in the first place!" John's voice was raised but he still wasn't shouting.

"I didn't _stick_ my nose in, my brother came to me! He told me he was going to college and he asked me for my blessing on it….and I gave him it. I won't take it back just because you order me to. You can't make me. I won't do it!"

Walking back over John poked his son in the chest. "You mind your damned tone with me! Where do you get off talking to me like that, who do you think you are, your damned brother!"

Dean used the hand at his chest to pull himself up and drag his father closer. "Maybe I should be a little more like him, a little more like you. Maybe I should just only care about myself the way you both do." Dean's mouth had taken on a life of it's own. He couldn't stop himself now if he tried and deep down he didn't want to. "It's always about what you guys want, there's no middle ground for either of you and it leaves me with nowhere to go. I see your side I piss Sam off; I see Sam's and you go off on one, but it's always me in the damned middle and I hate it….do you hear me!"

"Then why don't you just leave?" Bitterness seeped through John's voice as he pushed Dean back down on the bed and pulled his hand away.

_"And go where? Do what? You said it yourself, what the hell I'm I good for apart from this? You took my life from me, I am not going to let you take my brother's from him too!"_ Dean was almost screaming at his father now.

John's face was deadpan. "I didn't take your life from you Dean, you gave it to me. What were you, too scared to use it yourself?"

With that he turned and walked out.

Dean hauled the pillow out from behind his head and threw it at the door. _"You god damned son of a bitch!"_ He slumped forward on the bed, anger and grief vying for ownership of his tears.

It was a minute or two before he registered the hands that were touching his head. "Dean?" Sam slid the pillow back in behind his brother and tried to pull him onto it.

Dean pushed him off. "Go away."

"Dean…..please." The younger Winchester tried again to lift his brother and almost lost his balance as Dean willing came with him this time.

"Help me up." Dean wiped at his face and then held his arm out for his brother to take. Sam help him sit up and then caught him as Dean used him almost as a climbing frame to stand.

"So where are we going?"

"We're going after him." Dean's weight was almost a dead one against his side, his brother barely able to kept himself upright and for the first time it sank home to Sam how ill his brother actually still was.

"What do you think you're going to do? You shouldn't really be out of bed Dean." His worry sounded his voice as he spoke, Agnes' words still echoing round inside him.

Turning Dean stared at his younger brother. "I'm going to tell him what I think of him and if you don't help me, don't expect me to help you when the time comes for you to leave." There was a hardness in Dean's tone when he spoke to him that Sam had never heard in his brother's voice before, at least not when it was directed at him.

"Dean please, this is such a bad idea." Sam tried to plead some sense into his brother.

"No, this is a good idea, a really good idea!" Dean tried to take a little of his own weight and cursed as his knees buckled slightly, only sheer stubbornness and his fit of bad temper giving his enough strength to stop him falling on his face.

Sam gave it one last attempt. "You're not up to this."

His brother sighed. "You're right Sam, I'm not up to this but I'm damned if I'm going to let that stop me!"

Sam knew then that he was onto a losing battle, Dean's temper was running high and he thought that, if he didn't help him, his brother would just crawl on out the room on his hands and knees if he had to. Putting an arm under his brother's he helped him to the door and then propped him up against the frame to open it.

"You sure….."

Dean cut him off. "Let's just get this over with."

Pulling the door wide revealed John sitting on a chair in Jim's little private living room. He was facing towards them but his head was down, hands linked and resting on his knees. Dean smiled as he saw that the hands were shaking.

"Where do you get off talking to me like that?" John's head shot up. He went to say something but Dean shot him down. "You've had your turn…..this is mine! So why don't you just shut up and listen to someone else's opinion for a change!" He swayed slightly and Sam gripped him tighter. "Do you think you can always talk to me like I'm something that you stood on and that I'm just going to take it? Do you?" Sam could feel his brother shaking beside him. "I know I'm a freakin' failure. I know that nothing that I do will _ever_ be good enough for you. So what makes you think that I'm going to let you take Sam down that road as well? Let you make him feel that he's not good enough? I mean, what have you done with you life that's so freakin' fantastic? A mechanic that fought as a marine, that takes college smarts! All brawn and no brain….maybe that's were I get it from. And you're a lousy friggin' hunter…..I mean sixteen years and you still can't find the thing that killed mom. Some solider."

John was up. Sam couldn't get in the way quick enough as he barrelled Dean away from him and into the door, causing his brother to let out a rushed huff of air. "That smart mouth of yours is gonna end up getting you killed one day, that's if your stupidity doesn't do it first. Pity you don't think like you talk!" Dean couldn't breathe. His father's weight was full on his chest, crushing the life out of him and he didn't have the strength to push him off.

"Get off him!" Sam pulled at his father's hair and slung an arm round his neck, using his height as a lever to try and prise him off of his brother. John used one hand to hold Dean against the wall and the other he used to catch Sam's arm and twist him away from him, pushing him down.

"Leave him alone." Dean gasped out the words. "It's me your mad it."

"Damn right it is." John smirked at his son and looked over at Sam.

"You know your brother wants to leave, not just to go to college, but because we don't take him on enough hunts, he's sick of doing the grunt work and then missing out on the action….the fun part. Isn't that right Sam?"

John looked back at Dean. " So why don't you tell him why we do that Dean? No? Ok I will." Sam caught the pained look in his brother's eye and was sure that it was more than just a physical one.

John turned his head back to Sam. "Your brother doesn't want you on the hunts….he doesn't think you're good enough to not get hurt. He begged me not to let you go with us."

"Isn't that right?" John turned back to Dean.

Sam looked up at his brother and knew that their father wasn't lying. "It was you? You ask him not to take me with you? I told you how I felt about not going on all the hunts, I told you that I hated getting left behind and it was you all along? Why would you do that? Do you really think I'm not good enough to hunt with you and Dad?" Sam stopped as a thought crossed his mind. Pushing himself to his feet he looked at his brother. "Is that why you agreed so readily about me going to college? It's not about me getting a life it's so I won't hold you back on the hunt. Is that it?"

"No." Dean struggled to pull a breath in, his chest now on fire. "I just wanted to keep you safe. Can't you see what he's doing?"

Sam crossed his arms. "Enlighten me."

"He's using me against you, the way he always uses you against me." Dean dropped his head and sobbed his next breath in. "He's gonna get you so riled up…….about me not wanting you to hunt……. that you'll say you'll stay………. just to spite me…….. just to go do something that you…….hate…….anyway." His lungs didn't seem to be working right even though John had eased up the pressure on him. His heart was pounding in his chest. Dean could feel the blackness coming over him, tiredness and a crushing pain starting to take him over.

Sam stepped closer realising that his brother was in trouble.

Catching his father's eye Sam knew that Dean had called it right. "Get away from him."

Stepping between the two figures and taking his brother's weight Sam let him slip slowly to the ground, trying to ignore the little cry of pain Dean let out as he slumped against him.

His father stepped back, an unreadable look on his face as he stared at them. "Dean?" There was shock in the tone. John knelt beside them, touching Dean's head, lifting it back. "Dean?" A little shift to panic. "I didn't mean to do it, I was just _so_ angry with him."

"Go get Jim, tell him to call the clinic." Sam turned his head. "Dad?"

John was frozen, looking at Dean's pale face, the pale blue tinge to his lips.

"Dad!"

That got him moving. Sam watched his father's retreating back and then he cradled his brother in his arms. "Dean? Talk to me. Please. I know that you want me to go to college. I know that you just want me to be safe. I'm not angry with you. I'm sorry."

Dean flicked his eyes opened. "Don't let him _make_ you stay." His voice was barely a whisper.

Sam hugged him gently to him. "I won't."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Will update this soon, things aren't as bad as they look.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Well after John going OTT at Dean and getting some of his own medicine back for once, Jim and Agnes start to have a little convo with each of them!

Loads of reviews for the last chapter so thank you very much. I should update my replies later. Mary x

One strong swear word and from a man of the cloth no less!

A Word To The Not So Wise

John had tried to help get Dean back into bed but Sam had pushed him away, blamed him for the state that his brother was in and so reluctantly he had stepped back.

All he could do was watch as Sam and Jim helped Dean up, back into the room and the bed, with him standing stuck in the doorway, neutered from any movement by his own actions. His rage was gone now, regret and worry now taking its place in his heart again.

It wouldn't be the first time that John had pushed either of his sons to their limits but maybe this time he had actually managed to tip Dean over. It took a lot for Dean to push back, to show that Winchester streak that ran deep inside him, especially to his father. It was a rare occasion that would see him turn that sharp tongue that he normally reserved for strangers and foes on his own. And turn it he had. Every word a statement of truth that John couldn't hide from.

John had taken Dean's two biggest fears and used them against his son. His fear of not being good enough and his fear of not being needed. What Dean didn't realise was that these were John's own fears. He feared that one day his sons would realise that he wasn't the man that they thought and when they did, they would just walk away. And then what would he have? What would be his reason for going on? What would that leave him but a bitter, twisted, lonely, old man driven by revenge and hate.

It was happening already.

Sam was pulling at the reins, straining to break free from John's tight grip on the direction of his life, and as for Dean? Well, John had just done everything but put the boot to his back. How did he take back the things he'd said? How did he tell his son that he needed him more than Dean would ever need him? That Dean was the glue in the join between Sam and him, without him they would simply break and drift apart. That he was the one that made them a family?

He stopped and looked up, something drawing his attention, making him look into the room. He realised that, although his brother was talking to him and Jim was fussing with an oxygen tank and a mask, Dean was looking right at him, pain in his expressive green eyes despite the fact that his face was neutral. John didn't know whether that pain was just physical or if it was more than that but he knew that it was him that had caused it. It got him moving finally, not towards Dean, but away.

The knowledge that he had caused that look in his son's eyes tore at him and he made his decision in that moment.

Maybe his sons that he had fought so hard for, for so long to keep with him, were better off without him after all.

They'd be safer if he just walked away.

---

Jim had been in the church when John had appeared, almost dishevelled, at the door. His appearance alone had put a fire under Jim and he'd stopped only to call Agnes, before he rushed to help Sam get Dean back into bed.

Holding the phone away from his ear for what seemed like half an hour but in reality was only about thirty seconds as she ranted and then hung up, he knew that he had to help Dean and then get John out of here, before Agnes arrived and did worse that she had already threatened to.

Once in the room he pulled the small oxygen canister that Agnes had left over to the stricken Winchester, and slipped a mask over his face, causing a soft complaint to rise from the man on the bed.

"You're lips are almost blue, just lie there and suck it up!" Jim waited until Dean's breathing eased a little and then turned to Sam. "Agnes is on her way and I somehow don't think that she'll be long. She was a tad stressed sounding on the phone herself. Will you be alright on your own until she gets here?"

Sam rolled his eyes. That was all he needed, to be left here alone to face the wrath of the she-witch. "Where are _you _going?"

"I think I should get your father out of here before she arrives. That's if you want to keep him." Jim lent over Dean. "How are you feeling? Is the oxygen helping?"

Dean nodded slowly, he still felt as if there was an elephant sitting on his chest but at least it seemed to be dieting, the weight lifting the more oxygen that he got inside his lungs.

"What do I do when Agnes gets her?" Sam looked at the older man with barely disguised fear in his eyes.

The look made Jim laugh in spite of himself. "Anything she want you to!" He patted Sam on the shoulder.

"Funny." Sam was pleased though when he looked down and saw that Jim had somehow managed to pull a small smile out of his brother with his words.

Dean looked awful and Sam regretted letting his brother go after his father like that, he could probably count on one hand the number of times his brother and father had ever fought, but when they did it was worse than anything that Sam and John could muster up. Both his brother and his father knew where to land the blows that would maim the other and it certainly looked as if it had happened here. He wished he had been in the room with his brother when his father had started the argument. He had witnessed Dean's comeback but Sam knew that it would have been nothing to how vicious John would have been in his attack. He was ferocious when either of them had riled him and Sam knew he had managed to do that beautifully with his announcement about college. Finding out that Dean had all but sanctioned it would have been enough to cause John to flip, and it looked as if he had quite spectacularly.

Sam watched Jim fuss over Dean for a few more minutes and then the older man vanished off to get John.

Closing his eyes Dean let himself drift, concentrating only on keeping himself breathing, trying to keep each breath steady and even, calm himself after the fight that he had just been in, ease the pain from the words that had bruised him more than his father's fists would ever have managed.

Sitting on the bed beside him, Sam just sat quietly holding his hand.

---

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Stopping in the doorway Jim watched as John stuffed the few clothes that he had into a duffle.

"Bobby called. He's got a lead on the demon for me. I'm going to his." John lifted his toiletry bag from the unit next to Jim and flung it in on top.

"Oh yeah? What did he do? Yell?" Jim held up John's phone. "You dropped this next to Dean's bed." Reaching out Jim stopped him as he turned to take the phone from his hand. "John? What in the hell? First you are all hot to stop this hex that landed on Dean, then you nearly broke because you thought you'd lost him, and now it looks like you were trying to finish what the witch started, and you did a darn good job of it too. The boy is hurting. He needs you. And instead you're running away? What the heck are you trying to do to him John?"

"I just wanted him to talk to Sam, get him to change his mind, but I sat there so long and it was going over and over in my head; I was mad, Sam talking about leaving and Dean telling him that it was ok…..I just lost it. He opened his eyes and I just lost it." John sunk on the bed and put his head in his hands. "I'm a lousy father Jim, they deserve so much better than I can give then."

Jim pulled him to his feet. "You'll get no argument from me there John, but you must be doing something right 'cos that boy loves you more than anyone deserves to be loved. He worships you John. Why do you always push him away, try to keep him at arm's length?"

"I need him to be strong Jim, so that he can cope with whatever this family will have to face."

"And you're doing that by ripping his heart out and stomping on it?" Jim pushed John towards the door.

Mistaking the action John turned back to grab his bag. "I can't face him just now Jim, please don't make me."

"I won't. I don't think he's up to another visit from you today anyway." Jim dragged John towards the front door. "What we need to do is get you out of here for a spell and let Agnes do her stuff. We'll not go far, just into the town, grab a coffee somewhere and then I want to talk to you."

"You gonna give me a sermon, preacher?" John almost managed a smile.

"No. I'm going to give you a rollicking, then I'm going to pray to God and get him to make you listen to me."

John held out his hands, wrists together. "Ok, the prisoner is ready for transport." The comment was jokey but the tone wasn't.

"Get in the _fucking_ car John." Jim pushed him out the door.

J"You allowed to use words like that Jim?"

"You'd make a saint swear John!. And where the Winchesters are concerned.....God gave me a special dispensation! Now get out!"

---

Agnes had had a quiet chat with Sam and he have told her as much as he could about what had happened. He was sitting now watching as Agnes worked on his brother, worried at the scene before him. "Is he really that bad?"

Agnes turned with smirk. "No. Doesn't mean I'm not going make him think he is......or your Dad for that matter. Where is the coward anyway?"

"Jim took him out, something about him not wanting you to make me and Dean orphans."

"Wise man, but he might just be staying the execution depending on what your brother tells me. Why don't you go and make yourself scarce for a bit, I'll call if Dean needs you."

It was a dismissal and Sam felt like he had just been given the key to escape Hell. "Ok." With no second bidding he turned and scurried out the door.

"Right." She turned to Dean. "Let's hear what you have to say for yourself."

---

It was the coldness of the hand against the heated skin of his forehead that caused Dean's eyes to flutter open. He felt that he had gone into a loop when he stared into the calm and collected face before him, only the eyes flashing their fury giving any hint that the person before him was spitting-blood furious.

The only thing was, this time he was sure that the anger wasn't directly at him, well not all of it at least.

"I can't leave you and your damn family alone for a minute can I?" Agnes ran her hand down his face and cupped his chin with it. "I'm going to get you settled properly, juice up your pain meds a little and then you're going to tell me what the hell happened in this room with your father that caused the outburst that Sam's already filled me in on. You know the one that's ended up with you putting yourself back to where you were when you got here in the first place. And because you can't play nice with your family I've had to reconnect a few of your favourite tubes."

Slowly coming back fully to reality Dean realised that theIV and the catheter were back in place. The mask had been replaced by a cannula in his nose as well.

He groaned and she smiled wickedly at him. "See what happens when you can't behave? Don't worry thought, depending on what you tell me next……this is nothing compared to what I'm going to stick in that bull-headed father of yours."

Dean felt a sudden rush of sympathy for his Dad's fate at that hands of Agnes. "It wasn't all his fault." The age old need to defend John from the scrutiny of others rose in him.

"I'm sure it wasn't." He couldn't tell from the tone but he was sure that there should have been sarcasm in her voice as she said that. She jabbed him with the needle and Dean thought that he might need some defending from Agnes himself.

Smiling at him, Agnes sat back and folded her arms. "Ok spill. I want to hear it all. And if you lie to me…..I'll know."

Dean knew that somehow she would. He sighed and started to talk.

---

"You don't see it do you?" Jim's voice was quiet and he shook his head at the man across the table from him as he spoke. "When you look at him, You don't see the strong, funny, tough resilient man that's inside – you just see the little boy that follows your orders without question – and you mark him as weak for it, even though you'd smack him down if he disobeys – just like you did just now."

Jim reached across the table and rested his hand on John's own. "Your son is anything but weak, he's loyal and trustworthy and he loves you and that brother of his more than either of you have any right to expect. He gives you everything he has and he takes nothing back in return. Not that anything would be forth coming any way. You and Sam your selfish to the core and do you know what?"

John wasn't looking at him now, instead he had sat back, pulled his hand free and was playing with the ring on his finger. "What?"

Jim continued apace. "I blame him for that, it's his fault. He makes you feel more important than you really are, he caters to your every need, every whim; always hip to your moods and feelings and neither of you every stop to look and see what that does to him. Not once."

"It's not his fault." The ring was getting twisted harder now.

"I'm afraid it is John. Dean would give you both his last scrap of food – hell he's proven that to you with Sam, and he would give you the very last breath in his body if he thought you needed it and it means nothing to either of you."

Lifting his head John went to protest but Jim paused him with a hand. "You don't see what he does as a sacrifice, you see it a right and it's about time you both woke up to the fact that you need him more than he'll ever need you….not that he'll ever see it that way. Without him, you two would have either kill each other or parted company a long time ago. You and Sam, you both need to go and take a long hard look at yourselves….I guarantee that you will not like what you see."


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Thanks for the reviews, I will reply but there is rather a lot so I'll need to just work through them, little thank you to Adder 574 for reviewing every chapter as she read it. There's dedication for one! Thank you too to my little band of loyal reviewers – you know who you are! *hugs*

Gentler words in this one.

Honest Truths

Agnes listened as Dean reluctantly recanted the story of how he and his father had exchanged pleasantries and marvelled at the ingenuity that was required so that the tale didn't end up sounding so much like the verbal kicking from John that she knew it had been, but more of an equally matched, albeit heated debate on the rights and wrongs of telling Sam that it was alright to go to college.

The boy didn't lie to her per se, she'd give him credit for that, but he sure painted over the worst of the argument with an almost rosy hue.

Agnes would almost have believed that his version was how it had gone down if Sam hadn't told her about the part of it that he had witnessed. The part that had his brother telling his father what he thought of him. The brother which by Sam's account usually just sat there and took anything that their father decided to throw at him with barely a word spoken back in anger.

No, John had really managed to push Dean's buttons and she didn't quite think that this mild mannered version of events would have been enough to do that. If it had of been, Dean Winchester would have killed his father a long time ago. She thought, as she looked at the young man lying facing her on the bed, that wasn't how things had gone down at all.

She waited until he had finished and then just sat there until he was forced to break the silence.

"What?" Dean scowled at her and pushed himself up further in the bed.

"I was just thinking that you would have made a helluva negotiator, it's a real skill being able to tell people only what they want to hear without lying through your teeth in the process. Manipulation of the truth is a very hard thing to do and you are exceptional at it. Must have had plenty of practice."

"I ain't manipulating anything. What I told you is what happened. End of story."

"Really, so your dad saying that it was _inappropriate_ for you to be giving advise to your brother about leaving the family to go to college was enough for you to go postal on him? It was enough to send you out after him when you can barely stand and tell him that basically he was a lousy marine, a dumb mechanic and a crap hunter?" She counted the three items off on her fingers, then folded her arms and raised her eyebrows.

"I never said that!"

"Sorry, maybe _I've_ twisted the truth a little there." He scowled harder at her. "Or maybe your brother was watching another brother of his scream at his dad hard enough to earn getting pinned against the wall before he collapsed on the floor."

"Sam exaggerates. It wasn't that bad a fight." Dean was trying to head off her anger at his father and she couldn't help but admire his loyalty even if she did want to smack him on the head for it. "He's sixteen, you know how kids are. They blow everything outta proportion."

That broke her and made her laugh. "Ok Methuselah."

They both turned as they heard voices in the room outside. Agnes stood.

"Don't." Dean reached out and caught her hand as she stepped away.

Turning she smiled at him. "I only want a word, that's all."

Letting her hand go Dean rolled away from her. "Yeah? That all that's all he wanted too."

She ruffed his hair and then left.

---

Agnes' temper wasn't dispelled any but her willingness to listen had been fostered by Dean. Dean twisting events to make it sound as if somehow his father hadn't actually almost gutted him with his verbal attack had made her stop and think for a moment.

He had also spoken volumes to her with his looks and his gestures as he recall the fight and they told her something that had put a lid on her anger. They had told her that Dean would do anything to stop someone hurting his family, even her and even after what John had done to him.

So, as much as she wanted to take John and rip him apart she would have to settle for a much more subtle form of torture.

But she was still going to kick him where it hurt. She was a patient woman and she could wait.

At least the man in front of her had the good grace to look ashamed.

"How is he?" John held her eye, never looking down or away from her scrutinising glare, accepting any punishment that she might care to send his way.

"Why? You checking that he's up for another round?" She fold her arms, more than ready for a fight.

"I shouldn't have done what I did….said what I said. He knows I didn't mean any of it."

Agnes stepped up into his space. "You sure he does know that? It you didn't mean it, then why did you say it? Do you know the kind of damage that you're doing to him?"

John took in a deep breath that was as close to an acknowledgement as she was going to get. "I just want to see him. _Please_. Just for five minutes. I won't upset him I promise."

Agnes looked at Jim who nodded. She huffed. "FIVE minutes. And I swear if I go in their afterwards and his heart rate is even a beat above normal…I won't be responsible for my actions. Clear?"

"Thank you."

"Save you thanks for after I've checked him over." Agnes went to walk away.

"That's not what I meant." She turned back to him. "I meant thank you for caring about him, you didn't have to do the things that you've done for him."

Slightly taken aback by his sincerity she smiled, unsure if he was perhaps playing her, getting her on side. "He's a good kid, I'm glad to have been able to help." She took the olive branch for now, knowing that if he screwed things up with Dean this time she was likely to beat him to death with it.

"I'll be in the library." She caught Jim's eye. "Can you make up the guest room upstairs please Jim, I think that this time it's better off if I just stay here and keep an eye on things….less mileage on my car that way!"

They parted company and John hesitated before going into see Dean.

Finally, he opened the door and stepped in.

---

Dean was lying on his side, his eyes closed and his breathing deep and even. John walked over and sat in the chair next to his bed.

He stopped for a moment just to take in the boy…._man,_ his head corrected him, in the bed before him. He took in the long dark lashes that rested on the too pale skin, the little smattering of freckles over the bridge of his son's nose and thought how young Dean looked when you couldn't see into his eyes; how vulnerable and innocent he looked lying there - _almost death-like_ - he pushed that thought far away.

Jim was right, what John saw when he looked at Dean sometimes was still that frightened little boy from the night of the fire. The child that wouldn't talk about how he felt about what happened to his mother, that had locked all his feelings away. Guilt hit him then, because John knew that he had let him do it. He hadn't wanted Dean to talk about Mary, hadn't wanted to hear his son to tell him how much he must have missed his mother.

_Christ was that really so long ago? Had Dean really only been five the first time you shut him out? _

And why? For what?

_So that you wouldn't have to cope with your son's grief on top of your own?_

John sighed. It wasn't just then either. Dean knew that John wanted him to be strong and so he was. _A better man than you. _John wished that just once he could let Dean have a minute where he didn't have to be.

"Dean?" He lent forward and brushed his son's hair gently with his hand. "You awake?"

The still form in front of him didn't move and didn't acknowledge his touch. Dropping his hand to his son's cheek he took Dean's hand in his other one and rested his weight on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry." He choked on the words, lifting his hand from Dean's cheek to wipe at his own.

"I said some mean, unforgivable things to you and I need you to know that I didn't mean them." He played with the fingers on the hand he held before wrapping them tightly in his own.

"You know when I married your mother I thought then that I would never feel the love that I had for her for another human being in my whole life and then she gave me you. I can't tell you how I felt that day, when I finally got to see you at the hospital. You were so small and so fragile and you won my heart forever, right there and then. You were my son and I had so many plans and dreams for you that my head hurt and your mother was sick of listening to me."

John smiled softly.

"I left the hospital and went straight to the bank, opened your college fund account the very same day that you graced the world with your presence. You see, I always had big plans for you Dean. Then your brother arrived and I thought that there couldn't be a luckier man on the earth than me. I had a beautiful, loving wife and two fine sons. What more could I want?"

Wiping at his eyes he continued. "And then he came and my world turned so fast that I didn't even have time for my head to spin, and instead of a future mapped out with endless possibilities there was only one long dark road and I dragged you both down it with me. I wish…I wish things could have been different, I wish that you could have gone to school and not had to worry about anything other than being a teenager and getting the grades and the girl….not that you've had much trouble with the last part. Good genes." He let a small chuckle escape him and then sobered again. "But they weren't and you couldn't, and for that I am truly sorry. I want to kill the thing that wrecked my life and I didn't stop to think about anything else other than my own damn needs. I took you and your brother and I dragged you boys up and yet somehow you both turned out ok. You're a better son than I deserve Dean, you took so much of the load that should have been mine and I don't think that I've ever stopped to thank you."

John searched the face of his son to see if he was listening to any of the things that he was saying. Dean still looked and sounded asleep, but John continued on anyway.

"Really though, I'm just scared that one day, one of the things that we hunt will take you or your brother away from me, and it drives me crazy with worry. I need you to be prepared though so somehow I have to find a balance, between making you the best hunter there is and not getting you killed in the process and the line is getting thinner every damned day. You're almost there Dean. I watch you when we're out and it makes me so proud and so scared at the same time. I keep thinking that one more year and you'll be a better hunter than I am and then what? Where do we go from there? And Sam? Well he can do the tracking and the research with his eyes shut but I don't know if I want him out on the hunt…..that line again, he needs to be ready but I want him to be safe too. I worry too when he's with us that you don't pay enough darn attention to what you're doing, too busy worrying if he's alright."

John squeezed Dean's hand gently again.

"And if he goes to college….how do we keep him safe then? He's gonna go too, I can see it in his eyes, that mind of his is made up and there will be no turning him, not that I ain't gonna try. With or without your help, I need to try and keep him here, with his family."

Standing he brushed Dean's hair with his hand again. " So I'm sorry I'm so hard on you…..", he gently brushed his lips to his son's forehead, "…..but I'm so proud of you that it hurts."

He whispered the words softly and then left, closing the door gently behind him, not looking back, not seeing the tear that trailed his son's cheek.

---

Agnes came in not long after and eyed the figure on the bed. "You might be able to fool your Dad with the sleeping thing but not me. Beside I have a large, sharp needle that I'll be forced to use if you don't open your eyes and talk to me."

Dean flicked his eyes opened. "And you call him a bully?"

"I don't think bully was the word I called him. How are you? What did he say?"

Dean wouldn't look at her. "I don't want to talk about it."

He looked better, not as brow beaten as he had before. "Fine. I won't push." She busied herself checking his vitals.

"Can I get these tubes out. Please? I want out of this bed, out of this room. I want to go share the room I usually do with Sam."

"That's upstairs, I don't think you're ready for that quite yet but as for the tubes, fine….I'll take them out, as long as you promise to behave this time. I'm going to get one of the physios from the clinic to drop by too. I know it hasn't been long but it'll help get you back on your feet quicker and I think you might enjoy it."

"Me? Enjoy physio? Really?" Dean raise a skeptical eyebrow.

Agnes laughed and leaned in. "You haven't seen what she looks like, just the little pick me up that the doctor ordered and I'm sure that she'd love to give you a thorough workout." She laughed again as he blushed. "You are so easy!" She clapped her hands together in glee. "Actually it's a he and he's as ugly as sin."

"Great, couldn't you just do it?" He regretted the words at the look in her eye.

"You flirting with me again? Like the older women there Dean?"

"I meant couldn't you just do the hand thing and make me better?"

Agnes giggled, she actually giggled and Dean huffed. "Stop it, you know what I mean!"

She took pity on him. "I do, I'm sorry. It doesn't work that way I'm afraid, the healing works on your heart and the pain because the hex caused them, the rest is all side effects….so sorry no can do."

"Damn." Dean smiled weakly at her and she sat down on the bed and gave him a sort of hug.

"I'll make sure that he's gentle with you."

Dean groaned. "Gees, thanks."

"You're welcome. So….we were going to take these tubes out? You know what that means don't you?"

She breathed on her hands and then rubbed them together to warm them, laughing as he rolled his eyes and blushed again.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks again for the support on this one.

Cheers Mary x


	19. Chapter 19

Hey folks, sorry for the delay, have had rather a lot of things going on in RL at the moment.

Slowing the story down for a little spell. Agnes reveals a little of her hand to John.

Mary x

Getting on the right road

Dean sighed as his door opened but stopped in mid exhale as a pretty redhead stuck her head round the door.

"Dean?"

"That's me and you must be the physio from the clinic." He smiled as she nodded. Checking her over he grinned at her. "I thought you'd be different."

"Older? I get that a lot." She started to slip her jacket off and Dean tried not to get caught admiring her curves.

"No actually, more butch and ugly." He laughed as she stopped with her jacket hanging from one arm.

"What?" Her pale green eyes were little pools of confusion.

Dean thought she remind him of someone but he wasn't quite sure who. "Agnes told me you were a guy. And as ugly as sin. She lied to me…with a straight face as well, evil old woman."

"Well, she told me you were a serious flirt and I'd to watch you." She finished taking off her jacket and threw it over the back of the chair in the room.

Dean tried not to laugh and look affronted. "So she lied to both of us. Evil, like I said." He smiled his most disarming smile. "What's your name?"

"Oh sorry. Where are my manners!" She slapped herself on the head. "I'm Julie-Anne."

She held out her hand and he took it letting his fingers caress her wrist as he did. "Well hi there Julie-Anne. So, I'm at your mercy, just what would you like to do with me?" He wished she would ask him the same question, 'cos he had a few answers all of which would probably set him back a week….but it would be worth it.

"Firstly I need you to take that shirt off." She extracted her hand from his grip and motioned to his t-shirt.

"God are you related to Agnes? That's usually her first request too. I think you both need to work less and get out more." He pulled the shirt off as he spoke and realised that was who she reminded him of.

"Actually." Julie stared for only a moment before she tore her eyes away and rummaged in her bag that she'd dropped on the floor, pulling out a few bottles of oils. "I'm her daughter. And I am so gonna tell her that you called her evil, a liar and _old_!"

His reply was quick. "Can you tell her that her daughter gets her beautiful looks from her mother as well? Just so she won't turn me into a frog or anything."

"Smooth recovery! I might." She caught him checking her out as she turned from putting the bottles on the bedside table. "So definitely a flirt then."

"You don't know the half of it." He grinned and she laughed at him, a little light laugh that did something to his insides.

"Mom says that your left arm is bothering you. Can you roll onto your front and I'll try a few different massage techniques on your shoulder?"

Dean dutifully rolled over think he'd just found something else to be grateful to Agnes for.

----

It had been three days since the incident with John and Agnes was amazed at how quickly Dean seemed to be coming on. John and Sam had sat with him a few times, but she had limited their visits without much fuss from either party, and they were making an effort to get on with one another which had given Dean a little extra boost.

He was fighting hard to find his way back to full health. Julie-Anne had been down and had done a couple of sessions a day with him and Agnes was now going to step up the healing with him, more sure that he would be able to withstand a few extra sessions and it being easier now that she was here almost 24/7. Together they had got him back on his feet and, although he couldn't go much further than the little deck or the bathroom unaided, it was a start.

"So? What do you think of my daughter? The sessions with her certainly seem to have perked you up. I hope that you're behaving with her?" Agnes was sat on the bed beside him watching him eat.

Dean smirked. "Julie-Anne's great and she has to be the prettiest 'man' that I've ever seen! I thought you said she was male and ugly as sin?"

Agnes laughed "I lied, I'm sorry, but I thought you'd like the surprise, besides if you really want to see a pretty man, I'd just get you to look in the mirror."

"I am not pretty." Dean huffed.

"I've seen woman who would pay a fortune to get lips and lashes like yours. Count me for one."

"I'll sell them to you then." He pouted and she smirked.

"Kinda proving my point there big guy, so pretty when he's pouting." She teased him and laughed at his face, the pout turning to a full blown petted lip.

Dean rolled away from her, trying to eat and ignore her at the same time.

"What's wrong. Don't like being a pretty boy then?"

"You sound like a parrot! And if you must use a word can't it be _handsome_….not pretty?" His voice had a pleading tone.

"How about…..", …she thought for a spell, "…..gorgeous?"

He scowled.

"Beautiful?" She touched his cheek.

"Stop it."

She lent in. "Julie-Anne thinks you're pretty."

His scowl vanished. "She does?"

"Why, does that make a difference?" She knew that it would. Julie-Anne was more than a little bit smitten with the young Mr Winchester, not that Agnes blamed her.

He smiled. "Might."

"So I'm getting dumped for the younger model?"

His smile became a cheshire cat grin.

"You know you're pretty! Besides, if you weren't as good looking as you are you wouldn't get all the action that Jim and your brother have been telling me about."

"So is that your polite way of telling me that my personality sucks? Thanks!" He paused. "Wait, what were they saying about me….do I want to know?"

"Sam had quite a funny tale about you and two sisters at High school…"

Dean blushed. "I didn't know they were sisters and what they did to me was not nice, and so undeserved."

Agnes' eyes lit. "Ooooh, he didn't tell me that part."

Dean rolled his eyes and cursed his big mouth. "Damn. He won't tell you, not if he wants to live."

"What did they do to you? Come on, I want details. I'll even let you hit on my daughter without fear of retribution if you tell me!"

She nudged him and he spilt the soup that he was drinking down his shirt.

"You did that on purpose." The scowl was half-hearted.

"Maybe." Agnes winked at him. "It's time for you to get that shirt off anyway. A little healing and then you and I are going to go for a walk, get you out into the fresh air."

"A walk?" He looked nervous, he was just barely managing to make it across the room to the bathroom on his own. The thought of a walk kind of scared him.

Agnes nudged him again making sure this time it wasn't hard enough to tip the cup. "I'll let you take my arm, people'll think that you're supporting the old dear."

"Gee, thanks. Do I have to?" Dean asked knowing that the word 'no' wasn't in Agnes vocabulary.

"Yes. It's about time we got you on your feet properly, besides I won't make you go far."

"Fine. You win." He put his mug on the table and pulled his t-shirt off in one fluid movement.

"And my day is made already."

He just sighed and lay back. "Just get on with it and less of the chat."

She cuffed him gently on the head and started the session.

---

Agnes made sure that Dean was sleeping before she went to hunt down his father.

John was sitting at the kitchen table when she walked in. She ignored him and poured herself a cup of coffee, then sat down opposite him with the chart she had been keeping of Dean's progress in front of her. She almost smiled as she saw him strain to read it when he realised what it was.

"How's he doing?"

She took a moment to look up and acknowledge him. "As well as can be expected."

"Wow, you really are a doctor aren't you? Care to be a bit more specific? I mean I know you don't like me but I am his father."

Agnes smiled coldly at him and John felt the chill drift all the way across the table to him and into his bones. He shivered uncontrollably. "I like you fine John. From what Jim tells me, you're a honest, decent man who loves his family. I also think though that you are a selfish bastard who treats his kids appallingly. You know what I really hate John? Bad parenting, and believe me I've had first hand experience of the worst kind, of the badness that parents will do to the children in the name of love. People who think that just because their son or daughter loves them that they can get away with anything. Everyone has a limit though John, even that boy in that room and you very nearly pushed him over his."

"There is only so many times I can say that I'm sorry."

"And there are only so many times that he'll let you. Do you think that Dean won't one day show you that backbone that you made him grow? That one day he won't just have had enough and let you know that? Because he will, you made him too much of a fighter not to. You should remember that."

She flicked Dean's chart shut. "So Sam is going to apply to law school?"

She could see that she'd thrown him with the turn in the conversation.

His eyes turned dark.

"So he says." She didn't miss the tone in that which said that John still disagreed with it.

"That's a good job, well paid."

"Yeah, if you'd call that line of work a job."

"What? You don't think that saving innocent people and punishing the bad is a good enough job to want to do?"

John huffed. "Depends how you do it. Lawyers lie for a living to make money. They twist the truth to get people to see what they want them to see." He regretted the words the minute they left his mouth but it was too late to take them back.

"So, saving the innocent, punishing the wicked and lying while you are doing it…..hmmm. Sam should be good at that, seeing as how he's been brought up, and as for twisting the truth…..he has a masterclass man to learn from lying in the bed in the room behind me."

"My boys are good men. So we lie and we cheat to get by, but we make up for it. We're honest and trustworthy in the things that matter."

"I'm sure you are." She leaned forward and smiled sweetly. "That's why I'm going to help him."

John eyed her suspiciously. "Help who?"

"Sam." Agnes' eyes flashed as she lent over the counter at him. "See what I really want to do is make you feel the same pain that you made your eldest son feel but if I do that in a physical sense and hurt you, it'll hurt him all over again." She stood and walked round to stand in front of him, towering over him in his seated position. "I checked Sam's school records, impressive for someone that travels about so much. We had a little chat and Sam told me that one of the college he's going to apply to is Stanford, he should easily get a good enough mark in the LSAT's if he tries the way that I know he will. Once that application lands on the desk there….I'm going to make sure that he gets in. A full ride, all access pass."

"How?"

"I sit on it's board." She smiled at the shock in John's eye. "The hospital that I was resident in was out that way and there are a few people that are very grateful to me that sit on the board too." She lent down to him. "Sam's going to get into college and unless he decides himself not to apply, you interfere and I will come and hunt you down."

"So much for you not wanting to hurt Dean, Sam leaving will rip him apart."

"He wants this for his brother. I'm not saying that it won't hurt like a bitch when Sam leaves but Dean will be ok with it as long as his little brother is safe and happy, because Dean doesn't care about what he wants, only what his family does and Sam wants this….so Dean'll give him his blessing and be happy for him."

"What gives you the right to interfere with my family?"

"I'm giving your son what he wants, go ask Sam or Dean if they think that what I'm going to do is interfering."

"Sam won't accept charity."

"Why, isn't that what you taught him to do his whole life? And besides if it gets him his goal, do you really think that he'll care too much?"

She could see she had hit him hard. A little regret trickled through her as she stood and walked away.

"You know nothing about me or my son's lives."

She stopped.

"You're wrong. I know everything about a life on the road and wanting to be something more than what your parent wants you to be, something more than just to follow the path that they chose for you. You want to see how a child should be raised, just go talk to my daughter. She's worked like your kids have for every little break that she been given and she stays to help me through choice, not through a lack of options or a sense of duty. She stays with me because I love her enough to let her go John not because I'd make her guilty about leaving."

With that she walked away. John picked up the mug he was drinking from and smashed it against the wall.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Hope you enjoyed that, will update soon.

Thanks again folks! Mary x


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Sorry posted CH19 twice. Aaaarrgghh doesn't quite cover it!! Sorry and thanks to a piece of cake and foreverwolf for letting me know!

Hi there, sorry this has been a long time coming, I haven't been online this week hardly at all. I apologise too that I have not replied to any of your wonderful reviews but RL has been more than a little hectic…hopefully it will slow again soon and let me get this finished!!

Thanks for your patience, Mary xx

* * *

Falling Into Place

Dean's walks with Agnes round the church's pond had turned into gentle jogs round it with Julie-Anne and then progressed to actual runs with his brother. He'd smiled when Sam eventually went out with him, his brother holding back but trying not to look like he was, making sure that Dean didn't tax himself too much.

Dean had been glad of his brother's caution because for the first few runs he'd found that if he did push too hard he ended up with chest pains and that ended up with Agnes reading the riot act when he got back and Sam fussing over him for the rest of the day.

For the last few times though he'd gone out on his own, cell phone with him at his brother's and Agnes' request, enjoying the freedom that this little act gave him. He felt like he had been caged up too long and he was itching now to get back into it, back on the road and into the saddle of hunting again.

Heading back to Jim's, he stopped when he caught sight of his father sitting on the bench that he would normally stop at. Wandering over he sat down beside him and caught his breath.

"How are feeling? You're looking better."

"I am. Better that is."

"That's good son." John patted his knee.

Dean wiped the sweat of his brow and slowly got his breathing back to normal. There was a heavy silence before John turned to him. "Dean, listen, I just wanted to say that I was sorry for what I said. I…."

"Dad, it's ok. Really, we're cool."

"No Dean, we're not and it's not. I was cruel to you and I have no reason to explain why I said what I did."

"You were worried about me and about Sam saying that he was leaving and I shouldn't have told him it was alright without talking to you first. Its just…..it kinda threw me too." Dean looked down at his hands.

"It must have been hard for you, telling your brother that you were alright with him wanting to leave and I didn't exactly make it any easier on you."

Dean squirmed as they headed into the kind of conversation that he'd usually run a mile from. "Dad, please. It's fine. Really." He shifted uncomfortably on the bench. "I said things that I regret too."

John sat quiet for a spell and then cleared his throat, both men not looking at each other for the moment, just staring out over the pond. "I was wondering, when you're on your feet properly and feel up to it….Sam's found a hunt not far from here. It's a simple salt and burn. If you wanted you could take your brother and see to it for me. I've told Jim that I'll help him with some stuff here."

Dean turned his head and stared at him. "You want me to take Sam and for us to go do this hunt on our own?"

John nodded. "You could do this hunt on a normal day with your eyes closed Dean. You don't need me there to hold your hand. It'll be good for you and Sammy to get to hunt together without your old man breathing down your necks for once."

Dean knew his mouth was hanging open but he couldn't get the muscles to work to close it. His face had a stunned look on it and he was waiting for the punch line. "You sure?"

"Yeah." John turned to him. "I trust you Dean. I know that you'll be careful and that you'll keep your brother safe. Just tell me when you feel up to it and I'll go over the details with you. Sam's doing the research as we speak but I haven't said to him yet that he's the one going with you. Thought I'd check that you were ok with it first."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. That's fine. I'll speak to him tonight."

"Ok. Well I'll leave you to finish your run, watch you don't push yourself too hard now, I don't want you to see you sick again." He squeezed his son's shoulder affectionately as he stood.

Dean sat there, head still spinning with his father's request, watching as his father turned and walked away. "Dad!"

John stopped and glanced back to look at him.

"Thanks." One simple word that said a lot.

John smiled at the way Dean said it and at all the little things that one word covered, things that his son could never fully put into words. He smiled most of all because that little word meant that his son had forgiven him and even if things weren't right between them, they could be. He'd held out his hand to his son and Dean had taken it. "Your welcome."

Dean sat until his Dad had disappeared from view and then he lent back on the bench and smiled feeling better than he had in weeks.

---

Sam looked up as John strode in and threw himself into the chair opposite him. "How the research going Sammy? Did you find the grave that we need to dig up?"

"Riverend Cemetery. It's just outside the town limits. Paula Williamson's the name of the woman that died." He turned the screen so that his father could read the story that he had called up. "She was murdered in the house that has the haunting in it, it started two weeks after she died. She looks like our ghost." John swung the laptop back round and closed it.

Taking the laptop and starting to push it into his new bag that he'd got for it Sam questioned his father. "So when are you and Dean leaving?"

"I'm not going." John smiled at the look on his son's face, which was almost a carbon copy of the one that had been on Dean's. "I've got something here that Jim wants me to take look at. Dean'll be taking point on this one."

"What? Dean?" John nodded and Sam's anger flared. "Your sending him out on a hunt on his own? After what just happened here?"

John held up a quieting hand. "No. He's taking point that usually means that there are two of you on a hunt. I'm getting him to take you instead, and so help me God Sam you better listen to him and do as you're told. Dean's in charge on this one, he got the experience and he'll keep you both right and safe. So do you think that you can follow your brother's orders and not get either of you killed? Please?"

Shocked and surprised Sam stared at his father. "You're sending Dean and I on a hunt on our own?"

John shook his head. "Thought you were supposed to be smart? Yes, what part of what I'm saying here escapes you?"

"All of it. I don't understand? Why?"

"Because your brother's earned a bit of respect and trust and this is the only way that I've got to show him it."

Sam got it, finally. "So this is how you're going to say sorry to him?"

"So the smart is still in there somewhere!" John laughed.

A grin crossed Sam's face when he realised that his Dad was serious. "Sure you're not just trying to get him out of here and away from Julie-Anne? She's been here for quite a few 'extra' sessions and I caught them kissing the other day!"

"They are kinda joined at the hip this weather. And as for the 'extra' sessions. Ignorance is bliss….I don't want to know."

"Scared you'll end up with me as an in-law?"

John rolled his eyes at Sam as Agnes walked up behind them. "It'll never happen Agnes. I'd kill myself first."

"I knew there was a reason that I was happy with Julie-Anne spending so much time with your son."

John scowled at her. "Nice. Thanks, and she could do a lot worse than my son."

"Where is our boy anyway?" Agnes stepped to the room door.

"_My_ son's not in there. He's out, went for a run."

Agnes ignored the pointed way that John had spoken and looked at them. "He still taking it easy?"

"So far. We're going on a hunt when he feels up to it." Sam piped up.

Agnes raised her eyebrows and looked at Sam. "Really? I don't remember anyone asking me if he was up to that or not." She glowered at John.

"They aren't going until Dean feels up to it and of course until his doctor gives him the all clear." The elder Winchester smiled sweetly at her.

"Just as long as he isn't."

"Just as long as I'm not what?" Dean appeared through the kitchen door stuffing a sandwich into his mouth as he spoke. He knew that they were talking about him.

"Hey, that was mine. Jim made it for me to have after I'd finished here!" Sam stood and scowled at his brother.

"If you're not fast you're last Sammy. Here, share." Dean licked the uneaten part and held it out to his brother.

"Eewh! You're gross. Keep the damn sandwich, I'll make my own." Sam turned to John. "And you're gonna leave me on my own with that?"

"Did it plenty of other times and you survived."

"Yeah, but I'm scarred for life because of it!" Sam grinned at his brother. "So a hunt. With just you and me? That should be fun."

"I could teach you a thing or two." Dean walked over to his brother and whispered to me. "Take you to a bar, if I can get you in…show how the real fun on a hunt works."

Sam pushed him off. "Dude you so better not have just put sauce off that sandwich in my ear." He wiped at it. "I think I'll pass on the pick up lesson thanks. I remember the last one."

Dean looked at him blankly.

"Dad was away and you took me to that bar in Toledo? I spent the whole night back at the motel with the covers over my head and my headphones on with the volume turned to bleed to stop me from sharing that lesson! Thanks."

Light dawned in Dean's eyes and a little twinkle appeared. " Hell yeah, Jenny. She was hot and it was November man, there was no way I was doing it out in the car. Besides it wasn't my fault that you're useless at talking to females and ended up coming back on your own."

Sam punched him hard on the arm. "Am not."

"Dean Winchester! Tell me you didn't?" John voice cut into their discussion.

His son gave him a nervous twitch of a smile and rubbed at the back of his neck with his hand.

"With your brother in the room! Do I really want to let you two loose on your own?" John scowled at his two sons.

"Do I really want you dating my daughter?" Agnes scowled at Dean.

"Who said we were dating?" Dean shot her a look.

"Dean doesn't do dating, he skips straight to the fun part." It was Sam that got punched this time.

"She told me you were taking her out tonight. Doesn't that count as a date?" Agnes put her hands on her hips in her familiar pose.

Dean shook his head. "We're just going out for a run in the car down to Fraserhead."

Sam grinned. "I think you'll find that's what you call _parking_." He edged away as Dean glared at him.

Jim walked past. "He's not taking my car." He picked some dishes up from the table and disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Parking eh?" Agnes moved towards him and Dean decided that retreat was the wisest choice at the moment.

"I need a shower." He almost bolted for the room and locked the door behind him, laughing as he headed in to get washed.

"I blame you, you know." Agnes turned on John.

"Tell me something I don't know." John motioned to Sam. "Come on, let's go get something to eat and you can fill me in on all the details of the hunt, seeing as your brother's a little busy right now."

Julie-Anne chose that moment to arrive. "Hey how's things? Hi mom, where's Dean?"

Agnes turned. "So, parking up at Fraserhead?"

Her daughter smiled sheepishly. "It's not what you think."

Sam grabbed his coat and stopped next to Agnes. "It's my brother and as much as I love him….it's exact what you think!" He smirked at Julie-Anne and hurried on out after his Dad.

"I want a word." Agnes rounded on her daughter. "First you, then him."


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi there

Another one! Title says it all in this one!

Little bit of pleasure and pain for Dean in this one. Enjoy. Mary xx

Fun and Games

Julie-Anne was lying on top of him in the back seat of the Impala and Dean was as happy and relaxed as he had been in a long time.

She nuzzled into his neck and kissed his skin softly. "We should do _that_ again."

"Yeah, but you'll have to give me a minute." He tightened his arms round her and rested his head on hers, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

She laughed softly into his neck. "What's wrong stud, tired you out already?"

"After what you just did to me….yeah you kinda did." He pulled her up and into a kiss, groaning as her hands roamed and his body decided that maybe it wasn't as tired as his head thought it was.

"Thought you were tired?" She giggled and the little vibration sent a shudder through him. "Or are you just scared that we'll be late back for the curfew mom placed on us after her talk on safe sex?"

He chuckled and touched foreheads with her. "Yeah she scared me that much I'm lying naked with her daughter in the backseat of my car, something I'm pretty sure that she won't be please with."

"I think she's jealous."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't even go there."

"So did you get the 'not in my day' speech or the 'use precautions or I'll kill you' speech?"

"Both." He ran his hands down her side making her squirm and giggle.

"Oh, she must have such a low opinion of you! Can't think why." She slipped her hand under him and pinched a bit of butt cheek.

He scowled at her but she kissed it away. "God I thought it was embarrassing when I was twelve and my Dad caught me…….." He stopped as she stared at him. "Never mind…let's just say that was worse than my Dad's speech when I was fifteen. She beat him hands down, and where did she get the box of condoms from? I was really kinda worried for a minute that she was going ask me to show her that I knew how to use them!"

"Think yourself lucky that she likes you, she _did _ask my last boyfriend to. She said he looked too stupid to know what he was doing."

"You know what? I bet she did as well." Dean laughed. "I thought that speech sounded well rehearsed."

She punched him gently. "Are you implying that she's had to use it a lot?"

"Maybe." He raised his eyebrows at her and grinned.

"Yeah, 'cos I bet you're such a saint when it comes to this." She ran a finger down his chest.

"Practice does make perfect."

"It certainly does." She lent in and kissed him again. "So I take it you've had lots of practice then?"

"Maybe." He replied coyly.

"Shows."

He blushed and she ran her hand over his cheek, tracing the outline of the flush that had filled his face. "Mom was right." She ran her fingers over his lips and stole another kiss.

"What about?"

"You. You're cute when you blush."

His coloured deepened. "You're mom thinks I'm cute? And you guys were discussing me?"

"Yup. I had to beat her off with a stick to stake my claim." He laughed at the determined look on her face.

"You did that alright. Much as I think your mom is cool, she's….don't take this the wrong way….kinda old….compared to me I mean. Do not tell her I said that ok?"

"What….that's she cool or old?"

"Both, either could get me into trouble."

"She would have if she had really wanted to you know."

"Would have what?" He cocked his head quizzically.

"Hit on you."

"She _was_ hitting on me."

"See."

A mischievous look crossed his face. "Is that were you get it from?"

She punched him again. "My mother leads a very interesting life." Julie-Anne gave him a cryptic smile.

He pulled her away from him. "Really?"

"I mean I wasn't exactly conceived in a loving relationship. Dad was a biker. Took a spill off of his bike and mom fixed his road rash and a few other itches for him. He was so grateful that he left her a present. Me. And she hasn't exactly lived like a nun since then either."

"So this isn't the first time that she's molested one of her patients? Isn't there a law against that?"

Julie-Anne laughed at the look on his face. "Probably, but can you blame her. Have you looked at you?" She smiled as he blushed again. "My mom's only human you know. Besides she's a witch, would you take her to court?"

"Not if I wanted to stay intact I wouldn't."

"Exactly." She folded her arms on his chest and lent her head on them. "She likes younger guys, my dad was ten years younger than her. She says old guys aren't as much fun, not as willing to experiment with her ideas."

"One; I can't believe you guys discussed this! Two; I think I need to scrub my brain free of the image that you've just put there." He ran his hands through her hair. "Three; that was way too much information and too much talk about your mom and sex, you're making me feel like some kind of lab rat!" He pulled her hand lower "And….you've scared my libido away."

"That's ok." She pulled one of his nipples into her mouth and a groan from his lips. "I know what it likes to tempt it back. No more talking. I promise."

Dean was glad of that because what she did to him next left him speechless.

---

Two days later

Sam coughed as he waited for his brother to put Julie-Anne down and get in the car.

Dean held up a finger but didn't break the kiss until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You two should really need to come up for air sometime soon you know."

They broke apart and turned to where Agnes was standing. "I've seen limpets less attached than you two."

"Just leaving her something to remember me by."

"As long as that's all you leaving her with!" Agnes folded her arms. "I gave you those condoms for a reason you know."

Dean blushed furiously and he and Julie-Anne exchanged a little look which Agnes caught. She turned to scowl at her daughter. "What have you been telling him?"

"Nothing!" Julie-Anne turned away and Dean stifled a laugh.

"Are we chatting or hunting?" Sam huffed from across the Impala.

"Hunting. Get in the car." Dean threw his bag in the trunk and slammed it shut then moved in and stole another kiss from Julie-Anne.

"God, get a room." Dean turned to him and Sam read his mind. "No. She is not coming with us!" Dean smiled and shrugged. He would never have taken her anyway, too distracting. He smiled to himself at the image that thought conjured up.

"You boys ready?" John came out with Pastor Jim and joined the little party at the car.

"Yeah. Locked and loaded."

"Better get a move on then, if you leave now you'll be there before nightfall, let you get settled and organised for later on. You boys be careful now, this spirit has already taken down a few people at the house and at least one hunter in the cemetery."

"We'll watch what we're doing Dad, I promise."

Dean started as his Dad pulled him into a quick hug.

"Ok." John broke the little awkward moment. "Best you get going."

"Don't I get a hug?" Agnes grinned at Dean.

"Only if you keep your hands above waistline." Dean smirked.

She tutted at him and pulled him gently into a hug. "You be careful, much as I enjoyed getting to have my way with you I do not want to see you lying hurt in that bed again. Understand?"

Her voice was so sincere that he couldn't make a joke of it. "I will."

She tightened the hug for a moment and then released him.

Julie-Anne can forward and gave him a hug too. He lent in. "See no hands, she knows she's lost." He kissed her again briefly and then got in the car. "We'll call when we get there Dad."

"See that you do." John banged the roof of the car as their signal to leave.

The little party watched as they drove away and Agnes stepped up behind John. "So, you can do something right once in a while."

She was gone before he could reply.

---

Riverend Cemetery

Sam pulled the car round and parked it on the path near the graveside that his brother was standing at, shotgun by his side. He got out, opened the trunk and grabbed two shovels, a torch, salt and the lighter fluid. Placing the two latter items on the ground and the torch on the headstone, he handed his brother one of the shovels.

The rain was coming down in sheets and the two boys were soaked through in a matter of minutes.

"Do you think Dad read the weather forecast and that's why he let us do this on our own?" Sam shrugged to chase away the rain drops that were trying to get down inside his collar.

"Knowing Dad, probably. Keep an eye peeled Sam, if this ghost shows I don't want it getting too close before we see it. You go home with bruises and I'm the one that'll have to explain them to Dad."

"Yeah, 'cos if the ghost gets the jump on us it'll be all your fault."

"It will in Dad's eyes if you get hurt. You want to get included in the hunts more Sam we need to show Dad that we know what we're doing on one."

"I don't care if he lets me go or not now, it's not like I'll be doing this much longer anyway." Sam kicked himself as he saw his brother hesitate for just a moment before he resumed digging.

"No I don't suppose you will. Less talk, more digging Sam. Put your back into it." The conversation was over, and Sam knew that he'd killed it.

---

They dug in silence for the next hour, stopping only for a drink and when Dean thought he'd heard something.

Sam stopped a little while later. "Dean, I gotta pee. I won't be long."

"Take the shotgun." Dean picked up the gun that was lying on the edge of the hole, near where he was digging, and handed it to his brother.

"No, if she's going to come for someone Dean it more likely that it'll be the one that's desecrating her grave and not the one peeing on someone else's." He went to walk away.

"Sam! You were the one that was in charge of weapons. You were the one that only put one shotgun in the trunk, not me, so take the damned thing or I swear I'll come with you and watch to make sure you're ok."

"Bossy much." Sam snatched the shotgun from Dean's hands. "How do I hold this and pee at the same time?"

"What you don't got two hands Sammy?" Dean crossed his arms across his chest. "Take the gun, go pee and then get your ass back here 'til we get this finished and get out of this rain."

"Fine." Sam shouldered the shotgun and stomped off.

"Huffy……..sonuvabitch!" The last part was directed at the spirit that chose the moment Sam disappeared from view to exploded the back screen on the Impala.

Dean hauled himself out of the grave just as the windshield followed the back glass. He grabbed two handfuls of salt from the bag sitting next to the headstone and ran at the ghostly image in front of him, his blood boiling at the scene before him. The driver's side window went next and he was screaming his anger now.

"I'm gonna toast your ass, you freak." The ghost vanished as he threw the salt at it and he yelled for his brother. "Sam! Get your backside back here with the damn gun!"

He'd reached the passenger side of the car when he realised that it was moving, the whole car sliding sideways towards him. He automatically raised his hands and pressed them to the windows on that side of the car and cursed in surprise as they exploded too, showering him in glass and causing him to loose his balance for just enough time for the metal of the car to connect with him. Grabbing at the doorframe, ignoring the bite of the tiny shards of glass that were still lying there, he hung on for dear life.

Sam came at a full run, realising what was happening before his brother did, his angle of view better. He stopped in mid stride and changed his course, heading for the grave. He slid down onto his knees, dropping in and tossing the gun as he did. There was only a small layer of dirt left on the casket but he ignored it, straddled it and pushing his fingers into the dirt at the side, pried the lid open.

Dean had seen Sam heading for the grave but he knew that he wasn't going to have enough time. He knew what the spirit was doing and he couldn't stop it.

"Sam! Get out. Leave it and get out!" He screamed to his brother and then screamed again as his legs were dragged over a small flat grave marker that was just high enough crush him further up under the car for the few minutes that it took to clear it.

Sam pulled the lid fully back and then turned, realising that he was too late as the Impala slid over that last bit of ground between it and the grave.

"Get out!" Dean's voice pulled Sam to his sense and he scrambled out just as the front end of the car cleared the top of the hole and the front wheel and his brother slid in. Sam thought for one horrid moment that the car was going to fall in and crush Dean but the front bumper and grill lodged on top of the side of the grave and the open lid, leaving her hanging precariously over the hole.

Dean was up in a minute, rage fuelling him he drag himself from the grave despite the pain in his back and legs. He gripped the salt bag and tossed it in over the exposed corpse.

Sam stared wide eyed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Lighting this bitch up!" He screamed at the air around him and Sam picked up the shotgun, watching for her reappearing, still not quite believing that his brother was going to do this. "Did you think that pushing me and my car into your grave would stop me?!" He sprayed fuel over the end of the coffin nearest to him, pulled the matches from his pocket and struck them. The spirit appeared behind him then and he thanked the lord that Sam was a good shot as the cartridge skimmed by him and dispersed her.

"Bye bitch." He dropped the matches into the grave and smiled as the corpse lit up. Pausing to savour the moment for the briefest of seconds he sprinted round to the trunk of the car and pull the fire extinguisher from it.

He waited until the flames where licking the underside of the car, Sam hopping from foot to foot nervously beside him before he used the extinguisher. As the last of the flames died and the canister emptied Dean tossed it into the grave and then stood back to finally take in the scene before him.

"Sonuvabitch!" He let his head drop back on to his shoulder and looked skywards for inspiration.

Sam eyed him anxiously." So….what do we do now?"

Dean turned and glared at him. "Now? I have to phone Dad and get my ass handed to me on a plate." He pulled his phone from his pocket and then looked across the graveyard, the idea forming as he spotted the piece of equipment tucked in the far corner of the yard. "Unless?" He dialled the number. "Hey Bobby it's Dean…..yeah I'm good….no, I've got a bit of car trouble….I need a garage that'll be able to get me glass for the Impala……all of them. " He held the phone away from his ear and Sam almost sniggered at the curse words that could clearly be heard. It went quiet and Dean brought the phone back to speak the older hunter. "No a spirit…..Riverend……speak to you then…..Bobby?.....thanks."

Dean shut the phone and smiled at his brother. "How'd you like to spend another couple of nights here?"

"Not really." Sam shook the rain off him like a dog.

"Beats going back and telling Dad we screwed up."

Sam couldn't argue with that.

---

It had taken them two hours, a lot of swearing and the huge ride-on grass cutter for the graveyard to get the Impala out of the grave and back on three and a bit wheels. The front passenger wheel was a goner, the rim was bent, the tyre flat and the wheel itself buckled.

"Freakin' ghosts. Why can't they just cross over when they're supposed to?"

"Dean, she was murdered, she had a right to be angry."

"Not at me she didn't. I swear, I wish I could bring her back just to get the pleasure of killing her my damned myself!" Dean pushed the jack under the car and started to raise her up a little. Sam stood watching him and he turned. "That hole…." He pointed to the grave. "…..isn't gonna fill itself back in Sammy. So get to it while I change the wheel."

He smiled sweetly as Sam huffed at him; muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'ok Dad' and grabbed the shovel.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hey

So a little moment to make you smile and some payback for Dean!

Little Moments

Dean stopped as he stepped out of the car outside Pastor Jim's home.

"What's up?" Sam rounded the car and took in the stance of his brother, paused between the car and the door, looking at something on the ground in front of him. He stepped up beside him and stopped too.

They exchanged a look.

"She wouldn't have right?" Dean glanced at his brother, a slight tension in him. "It's only been three days, what the hell could he have possibly said or done to deserve that?"

Sam tilted his head to the side to get a better look. "It's Dad." Dean wasn't sure if the statement was a reason or a confirmation of fact. He plump for the former in his head.

"Might just be what it looks like." Dean knelt down and picked the frog up. It just sat in his hand staring at him.

"Either it likes you or it knows you." Sam moved closer to his brother to examine the rather large amphibian that now squatted quietly in his palm.

"Come on." Dean hitched his bag and headed into the house rather disconcerted when the frog made no attempt to escape. He only breathed again when he rounded the corner to the kitchen and heard Jim and his father talking. He hadn't really been worried he convinced himself….well not much.

Both men turned as they heard the boys come in, his father both smiling at them and doing a quick visual check for any injuries at the same time. "So, the lost wanderers have returned." He eyed the frog. "Where did you get that?"

"It was sitting on the front steps, I was gonna take and put it round in the pond." Dean caught the look between both of the older hunters and the fact that John and Jim tried to smother their smiles. He narrowed his eyes but said nothing.

"My son the humanitarian. Why don't you get rid of your friend there and then we can go over the hunt? You can tell me what happened that's left you limping." John gestured to Dean leg.

Sam whispered to his brother. "Told you he'd see."

Dean nudged him. "Not a word until I get back." He dropped the bag and headed off to dispose of his new pet.

Jim smiled at Sam knowingly. "You boys worried there that Agnes had carried out her threat and zapped your Daddy?" He exchanged another quick glance with John and Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Did you guys put that frog out there for us to find?" He brushed his hair off his eyes with his hand and scowled at them.

"We might have waited after your call to see the Impala coming in along the main road and we might have already got the frog a little drunk to make it sit there." John's voice was almost playful, his face the picture of innocence.

"I'm telling Dean. That was mean." Sam realised too late that he sounded like a five year old, except he'd be tattling on his Dad to his brother not the other way about.

"Telling me what?" Dean sauntered back in with two cokes in his hand and passed one to his brother.

"The frog was a plant." Sam noted that his brother didn't look surprised.

"Yeah, I kinda guessed that when I could smell Jim Beam off it, what did you do, soak it in it? Did you really think we'd fall for that?" He took a drink of the cola as he waited for the reply.

John smirked. "Did you really think we'd fall for the 'we just want to hang out in Riverend for a few more days' gambit? Especially since we know that there is someone that you should be itching to get back to here?"

The boys looked at each other and sighed. Dean hung his head, rubbed the back of his neck nervously and started to explain. "The ghost jumped us in the graveyard, it trashed the car, we called Bobby for a garage number where we could get it fixed. That's what held us up."

John glared but his voice was still calm. "Trashed the car?"

"She pushed it part way into the grave, broke all the windows and screwed up the front wheel on the offside as well." Dean waited for the explosion.

"Are you alright? What happened to your leg?" Dean flicked his eyes up from the floor at the concern in his father's voice wondering if the storm was building under the surface. Locking eyes with his Dad all he saw was the quiet concern that had been present when he'd spoken.

"Dean was under the car when it got pushed into the grave." Sam offered and received a cuff over the back of the head from his brother for his trouble.

"Tattler."

John turned to his younger son. "And where were you?"

"He was getting out the way like I told him too." Dean stepped forward and lifted the bag he'd dropped. "Come on Sammy, let's get the car emptied."

"Wait." Walking over to him, John caught Dean's arm. "How bad is it?"

"Car's fine. I fixed what I could and the garage replaced all the glass and fixed the rest."

"No." John gestured to his leg.

"I'm fine." Dean went to pull away and John stopped him, hand still on his arm and a question in his eyes. "Honest I'm fine. Sam cleaned the cuts and dressed them for me, the rest is just bruises. I've had worse. I'm sorry about the car."

"Did you get the ghost?"

Sam jumped in. "Yeah, Dean torched her grave with the Impala still half in it, it was cool."

"Sam!" Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.

John stared at his eldest. "Really? That sounds…inventive."

"She was trying to stop us from torching her…I wasn't gonna let her, besides we had an extinguisher."

"So the ghost's gone, you're both ok and the car's fixed?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good job then. Well done." John slapped Dean on the shoulder and walked away.

Jim tried hard not to laugh when Dean just stood there and stared. Finally the younger man found his voice. "I let the car get wrecked and he's telling me we did a good job? So did Agnes hex him or do I need to go get a silver knife?"

The laugh found life. "Nope. He's making an effort Dean, appreciate it….while it lasts."

Dean gave him a knowing look and then turned and threw his bag at his brother. "Come on, shift your backside Sammy, get the other bag from the car and it's your turn to do the laundry."

"Hunt's over Dean, you're not in charge anymore."

His brother gave him a look that send Sam out to the car anyway. When he got there John was giving it a quick once over.

"Hey son."

"Dad." Sam hovered for a moment and then walked over to the back door of the car to retrieve his bag.

"So you patched him up then?" John ran his hand round the wheel arch at the front and then examined the wheel itself.

"Yeah, see I do listen to you sometimes." Sam lent against the car.

John stopped what he was doing and looked up. "How is he really? That leg must be sore if he's favouring it like that."

"Coupla nasty cuts on the back of it, had to put two stitches in one, that's why he's limping." Sam grinned. "He's got bruises in a few awkward places as well but I'm sure Julie-Anne will be more than willing to help there."

John returned the grin. "I bet she will."

Sam shuffled, debated with himself for a moment and then went for it. "So Dad, about the college thing…."

He watched the tension twang into his father. John turned back to the car and resumed his inspection of the wheel. "What about it?"

"I'm….I'm sorry for the way I brought it up and for what I said."

"But you're still gonna go right?" John stood and wiped his hands on his jeans, his face a better mask than even Dean could have managed.

"Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you about it."

"If you're going then there nothing to talk about Sam."

Sam stepped towards him. "But Dad…"

John looked out over the car and then walked towards Sam, getting right into his space. "Family is everything Sam….and if it isn't….then it's nothing. Do you understand me?"

He didn't wait for an answer he just walked away.

---

_Next Day_

Dean was stretched out on the grass, Julie-Anne lying at right angles to him, her head resting gently against his chest.

"You're quiet."

"Enjoying the company." He brought his arm down from behind his head and laid it across her chest.

"What's wrong?" She didn't turn to look at him, knowing already that he would talk more if she just let him do so in his own time.

"Nothing." He sighed.

"Really?" She rubbed his arm, brushing her fingers through the light smattering of hair, waiting, knowing he wanted to talk.

"Sam and my Dad…."

"They fighting again?"

"No...it's worse." He snorted out a half laugh. "They're being polite to each other and the strain is killing them. And me."

She rolled over and pulled herself up to his face level. "So they stress you when they fight and they stress you when they try not to, some people are never happy you know." She meant it jokingly for him but he turned the meaning.

"No they never are."

"Tell me why you put up with them again?"

"They're my family. No choice."

"Lucky you. There's always accidental death, you're a hunter I'm sure you could make it look good."

He choked out a laugh. "Bit extreme don'tcha think? Besides don't you have Agnes for a mom?"

"Hey, my mom is cool, I'd take her over John any day of the week. I didn't mean to diss them but they are kinda moronic….sure you're not adopted?"

He gave a huge grin and pulled her in for a kiss. "Can we not talk about them anymore?" He rolled on his side and settled her in against him.

"Ok, but really? You should just lock them in a room and not let them out until it's resolved…or one of them is dead."

"You know that's not such a bad idea but it would probably end in a death. Now isn't there something you'd rather do than talk?"

"Though you had bruises in unmentionable places?"

"I do." He kissed her neck. "Thought you could take a look at them for me? Please?"

"Since you asked so nicely." She slid her hand down over his hip and then pulled it away as he let out a little hiss at her touch. "You're side is that sore?"

"It's just a bruise, it'll ease up in a day or two."

She pushed herself up and reached for his belt, pulling it open and then starting on the button and zip underneath.

"Hey! Little bit of foreplay at least before you start hauling my jeans off my ass."

She scowled at him and pulled the side he wasn't lying on down. "Good God Dean." She eyed the top of what was obviously a massive bruise.

"I don't normally get that good a reaction, especially from someone that been in there before." He tried to joke off her concern.

It didn't work.

She hit him, hard.

"Why haven't you had someone look at this? How far down does this go?" She started tugging his jeans down further. His whole hip was technicolour.

"Sam cleaned the cuts that needed it in the motel, this is nothing, it's just a bruise." He caught her hands. "It'll fade…eventually."

"This is more than just a bruise Dean, look at it." She started to pull his jeans back on and then stood, reaching down and offering him her hand. "Up, we're going back to the house. Mom brought me over so there should be some salve or something in the car that I can put on that to help it heal. Is it all like that?"

Dean fastened his belt. "Define all?"

"Your side and your groin?" She had gone into health worker mode and he tried not to think just how much like her mom she looked standing there with her concern for him glowing in her eyes.

"Most of it, there are a few areas that escaped."

"Come on." She dragged him back to the house, shoeing him in while she stopped at the car to get the things that she wanted from the trunk.

Dean shook his head and stepped inside, coming up short as he heard the raised voices from the library, the unmistakable sound of his father and his brother arguing.

"Well at least that'll break the tension." Sighing he headed in their direction, meeting Agnes coming the other way.

They stood outside listening to the angry words drifting through the door. The college argument had started again. Dean briefly wondered if they had waited for him to go out just to start in on one another.

Flinging the door wide they walked into the room causing both men to turn towards them, neither looking particularly pleased to see them.

"You know…" Dean walked over and stood between them. "….maybe I should just get Agnes here to work the hex back on me 'cos then at least when you start in on one another I'd be dead and I wouldn't have to listen to this crap anymore!" He turned to his brother. "Sam, he's never gonna be happy with you leaving so just get over it already and you…." He turned to his father. "….He's gonna leave 'cos it's what he wants, so why don't you just suck it up and live with it?"

He turned, walked back to the door and Agnes and pulled the key from the door lock. "You know, Julie-Anne came up with a great idea." He waved the key at them. "I'm gonna leave you two here until you can agree not to disagree; until you learn to talk civilly to one another or die or….find a way to escape!"

John glared at him. "You wouldn't dare!"

Agnes smiled and snatched the key from Dean's hand. "No but I would." She pushed Dean back and pulled the door to behind her.

John got to it just as the key turned in the lock. "Sonuvabitch! Dean Winchester, open this door right now or there is going to be hell to pay. Do you hear me!? I swear I'm going to break it down and kill the pair of you."

Dean and Agnes grinned at each other. "This is an old manor house, so knock yourself out there John. Dean and I are going out for dinner, so we'll see you in a bit. You boys behave now." She turned to Dean, he had a worried look in his eye but his face shone with amusement.

"They could be blood spilt in there you know, you ok with leaving them?"

He paused only for a minute before his smile broke through. "That's alright, I know someone that's got healing hands."

"Really? She good?" Agnes tilted her head.

"The best." The hammering on the door started as they walked back into the kitchen. "So you mentioned dinner?"

Jim looked up and took in the faces as they walked in. "What?"

"You fancy going out for something to eat?" Agnes took his arm and pulled him towards the front door. The noise from the library caught his attention.

"What's going on in there?"

"Oh, Dad and Sam are just hammering out a few points on the whole college thing." Dean grinned at Agnes again and they both laughed.

"My jacket's in there, and my wallet." Jim started towards the door but Agnes stopped him.

"My shout." Turning to Dean she smiled. "Where's Julie-Anne?"

"She was getting salve or something from the car." He started for the door.

"What for?" She eyed him up and down.

"I've a bruise on my hip and she was going to rub it better for me." He flicked his eyebrows at her.

Agnes gave him an 'uh-huh' face. "Just finding another excuse to get your pants off then?"

Jim choked but Dean just laughed again. "Think so."

She touched Dean's cheeks and smiled at him. "That's my girl!"

Grabbing Jim's arm she headed out the door sensing as she did it that Dean had stopped to give the library door one last look.

"Don't even think about it." She didn't even turn round.

"I wasn't."

"Yeah right." She came back and grabbed him. "Come on you've got a dinner and a date waiting on you."

With that and a slam of the front door they headed off.

---

"Do you think they've actually left us here?" Sam looked round the windowless room and then settled his eyes back on his father.

"Yup." John rested his head on the door.

"So, how do we get out?"

Looking at the solid oak door in front of him John sighed and rubbed his head with his hand. "Truthfully? I don't think we can."

"Great." Sam threw himself down in the easy chair by the unlit fireplace. "I think Dean is a little pissed at us at the moment."

"Not as pissed as he's gonna be when we get out this room." John's smile was evil.

"So….what do you want to talk about?"

John walked over to stand next to Sam's chair. "Not college. I don't want to fight anymore Sam, not tonight."

Sam didn't either, at least not when he couldn't walk away from the debate if it got too hot. Nodding his agreement he looked at the door again and huffed. "Ok. So what then?"

"What about ways that we are gonna make your brother and that witch of a woman pay for leaving us locked up here?"

"Sounds good to me. What do you have in mind?" Sam put his feet up on the edge of Jim's desk and sunk further into the chair.

"Oh I'll think of something……" He settled himself into the chair opposite his son.

Somehow Sam was sure that he would.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hello, thanks for the reviews people, I will update any outstanding replies shortly!

Agnes tells Dean that she'll handle John for him but this isn't maybe the way that Dean thought she meant!!

-

Wants and Desires

Dean smiled at Agnes as she tripped slightly getting in the door. "How much did you have again?"

"Enough to know that she isn't driving home tonight." Jim went to guide her up the stairs but she stopped him and turned to Dean and Julie-Anne.

"You guys take my room. I can have Jim's and he can bunk in with Sam" She looked at Jim and he nodded and left. "I'll let the prisoners out, they're less likely to shout at me. If there's blood I'll call you."

Dean shrugged. "You sure, I don't mind."

She waved him away. "Go on, get…go have some fun. I'll handle your old man."

Dean hesitated.

"Go." She shooed him away again and he smiled.

"Ok, you're sure?"

"Yes, yes now beat it….and keep the noise down!"

She watched them until they disappeared round the bend in the stairs and then fished the key from her pocket and headed to the library.

---

John looked up from the book he was reading as the key turned in the lock and the door slowly opened. He sat the glass in his hand down next to the three-quarters empty bottle of bourbon and scowled as Agnes appeared into view.

"Oh, it's you. About bloody time."

He nudged Sam, who had somehow managed to contort his whole 6'4'' frame into the chair opposite, and stood.

"You're both still breathing I'm impressed." Agnes flicked her hair back and lent against the door.

"Yeah, but my bladder is about to burst! Thanks!" Sam brushed by her and vanished off down the hallway.

John looked at his watch. "Five hours….must have been a good meal, hope you enjoyed eating while I sat here listening to Sam's stomach growling at me for the last two hours."

"It was lovely….T-bone steak and this beautiful whisky marinade. Dean loved his." She licked her lips and John felt something spark inside him. Agnes saw the look that flitted through his eyes but they were both distracted for the time being as his own stomach growled. It made Agnes laugh, softening her face and making her eyes twinkle with mirth.

John realised that he was staring just a moment before she did.

He cleared his throat. "I hope he likes the price his little act of rebellion'll cost him. Sam and I have had plenty of time to plan his payment." John's eyes glittered at her.

"You two have put him through hell these past few weeks, tonight was just his chance for a little payback and getting to go for a nice meal with people that care about him was just his reward. Don't spoil it for him." She poked him in the chest as she walked by.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He watched as she walked over to the desk, admiring her shape and the sway of her hips and then his feet followed her, leaving him standing in front of her but not quite in her space. When he got there he wondered what the hell he was doing but it didn't stop him from running an appreciative eye over her frame again.

Agnes shifted, uncomfortable under his gaze. "What?" She looked at him, her eyes level with him because she was resting on the edge of the desk.

"Why do you care about Dean so much? What is it about him that's made you so damned protective of him?" He was trying to remember that this woman irritated the life out of him, sticking her nose into business that had nothing to really do with her in the first place. And she was witch. Somehow though his mind was wandering, and in a direction he wasn't sure wouldn't get him killed. _Too much bourbon, _his little inner voice chided.

Agnes was aware of the close scrutiny that she was getting, she just wasn't sure why she was getting it. _What are you playing at John Winchester?_ She answered his question. "Dean brings out the mother in me, he's funny and sweet and he's a beautiful person when you get to know him and I don't mean that in a physical sense although your boy is damned pretty."

"Like his daddy?" John was so close that she wasn't sure if the thudding in her ears was her heartbeat or his.

"You wish. I don't think anyone would ever call you pretty." _Handsome though. _She shooed the thought away.

"Like to see you call him pretty to his face." John laughed a soft laugh.

"I did. He didn't like it." She smiled and he returned it.

"I'll bet he didn't. So you were telling me about why you care?"

She liked his voice, it was dark and rich and…._oh my God, I should not be having these thoughts about this man…of all men. _She turned her mind back to Dean. "Your son seems to have this ability to get people that have only just met him to care for him. He gets in under your skin. There's just something about him….a little lost boy feel that you get when you peel back that tough outer layer. Makes me want to hold him and never let go. What I don't get is how he can't get his own family to care for him as much. Why do you think that is? You are both too close to see him? Or is it that you've just stopped looking?"

"I love my sons Agnes….." Sincerity filled his voice and there was a little crack in it that got to her. "……and I hate what our life does to them, but they're all I have left. I can't lose them too."

She touched his face and stared into his eyes seeing for the first time all the pain that lived inside him, just how badly circumstance had left him broken. Maybe even more broken that his son was. "I know that life has been tough for you John, but life is tough on us all. I know you love them, if you didn't you'd have dumped them somewhere, left them behind. You made a tough decision, selfish in a way but at least they were never left wondering why."

John lent in, breathing in the sweet scent of her perfume. "Why what?"

She shivered at his closeness. "Why they weren't good enough for you to want them with you….. now of course they just worry that they aren't good enough for you to want to _stay_ with them."

"You mean Dean does, Sammy never worries about anything." He dropped the tone of his voice. "He sees, he wants…..and usually he gets." His words brought a flush to her cheeks, his own now almost resting against hers, his lips almost touching her ear as he spoke.

She tried to concentrate on the conversation. "He doesn't have to worry when he's got a big brother that caters for his ever need. Sam knows that he's loved I think you both still need to convince Dean of that. Although the seeing, wanting and getting…..that seems to be a family trait that you all share." She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back gently. She had had quite a bit to drink with dinner and she wasn't sure if it was him or the alcohol that was making her feel light headed. _I hate this man…right?_

"You really think at lot of Dean don't you?" He was studying her now and she found herself wishing that she could read the thoughts that were flickering across his face.

"I let him sleep with my daughter….what does that tell you?"

He chuckled softly and closed the gap again. "That your daughter has pretty good taste in men."

"So does her mother." She almost heard her little voice say the words – _oh shit. _

_Was she really going to do this? With him?_ "Usually."

"Usually?" He reached up and brushed the hair away from her face.

"Yeah, usually. But I've been known to make exceptions." He smiled. _Don't like this man Agnes remember?_ "And mistakes."

"So would it be a mistake if I did this?" He tilted her head back and lent in, his lips briefly touching hers, ghosting across her own.

"No. But if I let you go further would you still respect me in the morning?"

Another chuckle. "Hell I don't respect you now."

She pulled his head to hers and kissed him hard. "Way to sweet talk me into sleeping with you."

"You going to anyway though." She hated that he was so sure, she almost said no.

_To hell with it. _"You know what, I think I am." She kissed him again and then pulled back. "Is this _my_ punishment for tonight?"

"Only if you want it to be." The glitter in his eye was back.

"I hate you, you know that don't you?" She kissed him again.

"That's ok, I hate you too." He grinned at her.

She though of how many ways it was wrong that she finally chose this moment to see a little bit of Dean in him, the grin so much like his son's that she almost stopped it right there. Her body shut her mind up at that point. "Fine, I'll kill you for it in the morning then….that's if you manage to survive the night."

He raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed. "Come on before I see sense and change my mind."

With that she gave him her hand and let him lead her upstairs to his room.

---

Dean, Sam and Julie-Anne all arrived in the kitchen as the same time the next morning and all three stopped dead at the sight in front of them. Agnes was sitting next to John at the little breakfast bar, but there was a awkward silence between them. And Agnes was wearing one of John's shirts.

"Ooo-ooh. _Tell_ me you didn't?" Dean looked at the two of them knowing it was true but not wanting to believe it.

John looked up at him.

Dean knew that look. He groaned. "I thought you two hated one another." He turned to Agnes. "What did you two do?" He caught the light in Agnes' eye just in time. "NO! Do **not** answer that."

Julie-Anne finally caught on. "Mom!"

"What? It's ok for you two but no one else? Get over it!" Agnes stared at them unabashed.

Dean shook his head. "When you said that you were gonna handle him I didn't think that you meant it literally."

Agnes felt the guilt start to creep over her then, finding suddenly that she didn't want him to think badly of her or let what had happened break the bond of friendship that they had built. "Neither did I."

He rolled his eyes at her, but his disapproving look was only half-hearted. She relaxed.

Sam was horrified as he finally caught on to what had happened. "Did you two…? You did didn't you? Oh my God…it's like a disease."

"You're just jealous 'cos you never seem to catch it." Dean elbowed him and Sam pushed him back.

"That's why he's so uptight all the time." John was more relaxed looking than Dean thought he had ever seen him even if he did look slightly embarrassed and couldn't meet his eye.

Sam huffed at his father. "It's like a brothel in here, does Jim know what you are all up to in his house?" Julie-Anne and Agnes glared at him. "Ok so maybe brothel was a poor choice of words….." He skirted Agnes and went for the coffee pot. "I can't believe I'm related to you two."

John looked at his youngest son. "Don't worry Sam it'll be your turn to get lucky at some point in life."

Sam huffed, took his coffee and stomped off.

Dean grabbed one and sat opposite his Dad shaking his head.

"What?"

"Nothing. Don't you ever give me that 'I'd never do that' lecture again." He sipped the coffee and asked the question. "So did you two sort things last night?"

"Who? Me and Agnes?" John grinned at him.

"No. You and Sam."

John's grin faded. "We sorted what we're gonna do to you for locking us in there."

"I didn't lock you in, and it looks as if you and Agnes have already settled thing between you." Dean wasn't going to let him sidetrack him. "What about the college thing?"

"Nothing to sort." John stood and poured the rest of his coffee down the sink.

"How do you work that out?"

"Because he's not going." With that he left the room.

Letting out a deep sigh, Dean took a little sip of coffee and dropped his head to rest on the breakfast bar. He missed the look between Agnes and her daughter. Julie-Anne nodded and kissed Dean, telling him that she had to go to the clinic this morning but she would be back tonight. He smiled, kissed her back and then watched until she had left the room.

Sliding into the seat next to him Agnes took his hand. "You alright?"

Dean looked at her, a little half-smile gracing his features. "You know, feel free to turn him into a frog anytime you like. It least it would stop any more arguments." He caught something in the way she looked at him. "What did you do?"

"Nothing."

He glared at her.

"I may have already got my revenge another way." She patted his hand, stood and turned her back on him as she walked over to the kitchen counter.

"You did? How?" He paused. "If it's about last night though I don't want to know."

She turned and lent against the counter. "I told him that when Sam applies to college that I can make sure that he gets in." She looked at him nervously. "I've got connections at Stanford and it shouldn't be a problem as long as he passes his LSAT's."

He sat for a minute, shock in his eyes. "And you were going to tell me this when?" He was mad at her.

"Before you left."

"Sam doesn't need any help to get into college." His tone was defensive, she had expected that.

"No, but he might need some help staying there. You and John sure can't afford to help." She took in the hurt look on his face. "I'm sorry I'm not putting you down in any way when I say that but I can get him an all access pass, a full ride to go with that acceptance. He wouldn't have to worry about how he was going to afford to stay there."

Dean played with the cup in front of him. "Have you told him that?"

"No. But he'll find out soon enough if he does apply."

"He will. Apply that is." Dean still wasn't looking at her.

"You sound sure."

"Yeah well, if he doesn't then he's always going to be left wondering what if." There was something in the way that he said it that tore at her heart.

"Your going to make sure that he does." She suddenly realised that he was, despite how she knew he must feel inside.

"Yeah. I am" It was a soft little reply. "Whether Dad like's it or not."

She walked back over to him and gently put her arms around him, sensing the fragility in him at that moment. "I've got a proposition for you."

He laughed softly but didn't pull away. "What? The old man wasn't enough for you?"

She kissed his head and joined him in the gentle laughter. "Not that kind of proposition."

"Good, 'cos I can't flirt with you now, not now that I know that you've had the dad sex." There was a little grin in his voice.

She slapped him. "One word to my daughter and I'll get yours cut off you know."

He didn't quite know how she meant that or how to take it so he shut up and pulled himself away from her. "So what's you proposition then?"

"Get dress and come outside for a walk with me, I'll tell you then."

He stood and walked to the door then stopped and turned back to her. "So, you and my dad then, huh?"

She knew what he was asking. "It was a one off – believe me, it ain't happening again."

"Yeah? That was what your daughter told me too."

"Well I have more restraint."

"Really? Because last night doesn't make it look that way."

"Funny. She's much younger than me and I think that one taste of you and it would be hard to resist going back for seconds."

He blushed to the roots of his hair making her throw her head back and laugh at him, before she continued to torture him. "You're so much more prettier than your daddy is, younger too. He really had trouble keeping up you know."

"No, I don't want to know." Dean stuck his hands over his ears. "_Can't_ listen to this, _won' t _listen to this."

He started to hum Metallica as he quickly made his exit from the kitchen, hands still in place, the sound of her laughter ringing in his head.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks for reading, Mary x


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi there

A little chapter to move this to where I want it to be. John and Sam are worried about Dean. What is he hiding and what is he doing at the clinic?

This story is about to take a little twist.

Mary xx

-

Worried for the wrong reasons.

The whole family were sitting eating together for once. Dean had eyed his food suspiciously when his father had put it in front of him.

"Do I want to eat this?" He examined the burger, picking it apart, examining each little piece.

"What? Don't you trust me to cook it properly?" John stood watching his son as he took a wary bite.

Dean nodded his approval. "Not bad…I was expecting something in it though, like pickle; as a get back for the other night."

"It's forgotten about." His father slide into the chair beside his eldest son and started his own meal.

"It is?" Both sons asked the question.

"Like you said, it was Agnes that locked us in so it's Agnes that should get paid back for it." John continued on with his meal as the two brother eyed one another.

"Like to see you try." Sam muttered under his breath.

"I'm a patient man. I can wait." John tried to ignore the look that that statement drew from both his sons. He couldn't. "What? I can be in the right circumstances."

"Yeah whatever." Sam stuffed a piece of his burger into his mouth as his father glared at him.

"You don't think I can be?" There was a challenge in the words.

"Enough. Can we stop this argument before it starts?" Dean stopped eating and glared at them both. "Can't we have a family meal for once without any snipping at each other?"

Sam and John exchanged glances.

"Sorry." His father was first with the word.

"Sorry Dean." Dean smiled at how Sam had skirted apologising to his father by adding his name to the apology. He sighed quietly and got on with his meal.

"You've been quiet these last few days, something on your mind?" John voiced the thing that he wanted to know. "What were you and Agnes talking about the other day?" The little alarm bells rang when Dean didn't answer right away and ducked his gaze away. "Well?"

"Nothing. She just wanted to make sure that I was doing ok and that I wasn't overdoing things." The non-committal answer did nothing to stop the worry seeping into John.

"That's all? You were gone awhile."

"What you jealous?" Dean smirked at him.

"Nice! So sharp you'll cut yourself." John took another bite of his food. "So what was she wanting?" He refused to be side-tracked.

"I told you…nothing." Dean dropped his food onto the plate. "You know I'm not really hungry, I think I'll go give the car a once over, it needs an oil change and I haven't managed to get time to do it recently."

"Too busy with Julie-Anne and helping at the clinic the last few days." Sam couldn't resist the dig.

"At least I'm keeping busy…what have you been doing?"

Sam looked aggrieved. "I've been working. I've been researching a gig in Greyton. Three people have gone missing in the woods there, there's been blood found each time but no bodies."

"So what you thinking?"

"Not sure. Thought that maybe we could take a trip up there have a look round."

"Yeah, sure….except not just now…I kind of promise Agnes that I would help her out at the clinic for the rest of the week." Dean ran his fingers along the edge of the counter and kept his eyes down, following the line that they were making.

That got both Sam and John's attention but it was his father that asked the question. "Wait. Your saying that you would rather stay here and help Agnes than go on a hunt?"

That brought his head up. "No. It's not a hunt. It's just a look see and I promised her I'd help her." Dean stood and headed out.

"Is he avoiding us?" Sam looked at the direction that his brother had taken.

"Don't know. He has spent the last four days though either helping Agnes or out with Julie-Anne, I've hardly spoke to him."

"Me neither. What do you think she's got him doing at the clinic?"

"I don't know but I aim to find out." John stood and put his plate and cup in the sink. "Well looks like it's just you and me for now on the hunt." John wanted to go out and tell Dean that he was coming with them but he was curious to see what Agnes was up to, so for now he decided to use a tact that he rarely displayed. He'd show Sam what patience was!

"Swell." Sam said the word quietly as he scraped his chair back to cover it. Walking over he stood next to his dad and gripped the edge of the sink tightly. He had a niggling worry that he wasn't sure whether to speak to John about or not. His father turned to him taking in the stance and the worried look on his son's face.

"You got something you want to say?"

"Dad, what if there's another reason for Dean helping out at the clinic?" Sam chewed at his lip.

"Another reason?" John ran the water and started to clean the plates as Sam fetched the dishtowel to dry them.

"Dean's hiding something." Sam paused in mid-wipe. "What if he's not really better? What if he's just using the helping line as a cover?"

John's face now echoed the worried look on his son's. "Do you think he's sick and not telling us?"

"I don't know but he's been kinda off since his walk with Agnes and he goes to the clinic every morning and when he comes back he's tired…." Sam's voice trailed off.

John laughed although now he had the nagging worry that Sam's theory might be right. "Yeah and then he disappears with Julie-Anne and he's lucky to make it home before daylight. That's a more likely reason that he seems tired these days."

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Why don't you go talk to him." John emptied the water and grabbed the dry plates to put away.

"Me?" Sam folded the dish cloth and placed it to the side. Jim liked neatness.

"Well he's more likely to open up to you than to me, especially if there is something wrong. I'm going to see if I can't track down Agnes." Sam raised his eyebrows and his Dad shook his head. "To find out about Dean! Go ask to help him with the oil change or something."

Sam snorted his amusement. "Yeah 'cos he's not gonna know I'm out there to question him then."

John huffed. "Just go."

Sam got.

Dean was under the car when he walked outside. He went over to the open hood and peered inside, trying to see if he could catch Dean's eye as he was working.

"Sam Winchester I swear to God that if you pour oil into her while I've got the plug out I am going to kill you."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Although now that you've put the though there….."

"Sam!" The warning was clear.

"Would I do a thing like that to the brother that locked me up for five hours with our old man?"

The tone of Sam's voice was enough to get Dean to push himself clear of the underside of the car.

"Yeah you would."

He wiped his hands and looked at his brother. "What is it? You and Dad fighting again so you thought you'd come out here and hide behind me?"

"No. I just wanted to keep you company that's all, I've hardly seen you in the last few days, you're always with Agnes or Julie-Anne….I can see you busy though, I'll leave you to it." Sam turned and started back into the house but Dean's call stopped him.

"Don't be an ass, get back here." Dean wiped his hands on an old rag that was draped over the wing of the car and then reached into the cool box that he had sitting there, pulling a beer out for him and his brother.

Sam watched as Dean opened the bottle and handed it to him. "You're giving me alcohol?"

"I thought you'd like a beer Sammy but if you don't want it." Dean went to snatch it back but Sam pulled it high and wide of his reach.

"Didn't say that but if Dad catches us there'll be hell to pay."

"Drink it fast then." Dean sat on the wing of the car, downed half his bottle in one and let out a satisfied sigh. "Needed that." He wiped his arm across his forehead and Sam decided not to tell him that he'd put a long black streak across it. "So I'm fixing the car and you're out here hovering….what are you wanting?" Dean tapped the fingers of his free hand on the side of the car.

"I told you, I just wanted to spend some time with you. That's all."

"Oooh, little Sammy missing his big brother?" Dean pushed himself off the car and walked over to muss up his brother's hair.

"Jerk." Pushing Dean away Sam tried manfully to tame his locks back into some order.

"Bitch." His brother grinned at him and finish the bottle in his hand.

There was a little moment of silence before Sam broke it. "Dean? Are you alright?"

Dean looked at him confused. "Alright?"

"Yeah." Sam shuffled on the spot. "You know, what with the hex and everything else….are you alright?"

"I'm fine. What brought this little show of concern on?" Dean walked over to lean on the car again and Sam followed him, resting shoulder to shoulder with his brother.

"It's just that you've been spending a lot of time at the clinic with Agnes and I was kinda of worried that there was something that you weren't telling us." Sam looked at his brother with concern in his eyes.

Dean hesitated just a little too long in replying, a look on his face that Sam couldn't really read right. "Like what?"

"You're not still sick are you?"

Dean laughed but it sounded relieved to Sam's ears. "Still sick? No Sam. I'm fine….honest. Agnes just wanted me to help out with some of the patients she has."

"You're helping patients? How?"

Dean rubbed his head again spreading the dirt there. "Part of the clinic treats people that can't afford treatment anywhere else, people that don't have any family. She asked me to go sit with a couple of them, help get them out their rooms for awhile."

"Oh. Why'd she ask you to do that?" Sam didn't mean the surprised tone in his voice.

"Because she thought that I'd be good at it." Dean was defensive.

"I didn't mean anything Dean, I'm just surprised that's all, it's not the kind of thing that you'd normally do."

"I know but after I did it once…..I kinda enjoy it Sam. It's nice to feel needed." And yes Sam thought, there was a little dig in that sentence. "I need to get this car finished Sam, so was there anything else that you or Dad wanted to know?"

Sam smiled sheepishly. "No. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. Guess you are. I'd better finish the research for Dad before he gets back." And with that he handed the bottle back to his brother and headed off inside.

Dean threw the two empty bottles back in the cool box and got back to work.

---

Agnes looked surprised when she looked up from her desk to see John standing in front of her.

"People normally have to make appointments to see me when I'm working."

"I thought that maybe you'd make an exception for someone that you slept with?" John grinned at her.

"That would leave me with a pretty long queue at my door." She motioned to the chair and John sat. "So, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering how Dean was doing? He says he's fine but you know my son…." He didn't have to finish the sentence.

"I kind of do. Why do you ask? Has he said or done something to make you think that he's still not well? Have you noticed something?" The concern in her voice touched him again.

"No." He paused. "It's just…just that he's been spending a lot of time here and he says he's helping you out but he hasn't said with what and Sam thought that…."

"…Are you just being nosey or is this a genuine concern for Dean?" She sat back and studied him.

"I'm worried about him. After what he's been through, and Sam and I haven't exactly helped. He is ok isn't he? You'd tell me if there was something still wrong?"

She held up a hand. "Dean is fine. We gave him a full physical and he passed it with flying colours. I also did a whole batch of tests on him. He's a fit and healthy young man, just as he should be. If you've any doubts just ask my daughter. She seems to spend half her life with him."

She watched John relax in front of her. "Maybe he's staying because of her." Agnes wasn't sure if John was addressing her or talking to himself.

"Dean and Julie-Anne are having fun but I don't think you need to be picking out wedding attire just yet."

"He turned down going on a recon run for a hunt we've got coming up. That isn't like him."

"He likes Julie-Anne but maybe John he's just enjoying doing something different for a little while." She lent over the desk. "Tell you what, you come back tomorrow and I'll show you first hand what your boy is up to."

"He'll be mad if he thinks I'm spying on him."

"Since when has that stopped you?"

"What time?"

"Come down around ten." She sat back again and smiled at John. "You know he's been a big help here, in only four days he's managed to help someone more than I've managed in the two months that they had been under my care."

John raised his eyebrows. "How?"

"I'll show you tomorrow. Ten. Don't be late."

As she watched him walk out she wondered how John would take it when he found out that she had offered Dean a permanent job. Mind you, Dean hadn't said yes yet but then again he hadn't said no either.

She tore herself from her thoughts and got back to work.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks again to my little loyal band of reviewers!

Mary xx


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi there

Another little update, John finds out what Dean is up to at the clinic.

Thanks for your reviews, I haven't had a chance to reply yet. *hangs head* Off for a few days and will update everything when I get back. Mary x

Watching You

John was early and he parked his truck on the road outside the clinic knowing that if he parked it in the carpark Dean would see it if he happened to pass any of the front windows. It wasn't really the most inconspicuous of vehicles although it did blend in better than the Impala which was presently taking up a space and a half at the far end of the carpark. The last thing he needed was Dean finding out that he was here, or that he was trying to find out what his son was doing that was taking up almost all of his time these past few days.

He walked through and along the corridor to Agnes' office, pausing at the door because she was on the phone. She was busy giving someone on the other end a tongue lashing and he certainly didn't envy the person that was on the receiving end of the conversation that he could hear. Looking up Agnes caught him watching her and pulled a face all the time never letting up on the poor soul that she was talking to. She waved him in.

"You'd better because if the stuff that I ordered isn't here within five days, I'm coming to fetch it and if you think it's bad talking to me on the phone just wait until you meet me in person." She slammed the phone down and smiled at him, instantly shaking off the anger that she had had in her face mere moments ago.

"Hey." She pulled two files in front of her and checked and signed them. "I'll just be a minute John." She walked out and had a chat with her P.A. and John tried not to get caught having a little look at her backside as she was bent over the desk discussing something in the files. He looked away just as she stood and turned.

"I saw that you know." She smacked him gently on the head on the way by.

"Can't blame a man for looking."

"Suppose not." She smiled at him. "So, you want to see what your boy has been up to?"

"Think so." John fidgeted nervously in the seat.

She held out her hand for him to take and then led him down to the elevator at the end of the corridor. They got in and she turned to John.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Depends." His voice was a low growl and she tried not to think how much she like the sound.

"On what?"

"Whether or not I'm gonna like the question and what you're gonna do with the answer."

"Down boy. It's only a question about your son. How many times has Dean been in the hospital?"

"God now that…that is a question." He rolled his eyes up and thought hard about the answer. "He broke his ribs and punctured his lung, he broke his leg in two places and one of the fractures refused to heal right so he had to have an operation on it, coupla times 'cos he lost too much blood on a hunt…..you know, I don't really know. Dozen at least, probably more. I've got all his records in the truck. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. How does he feel about them? I know that's a stupid question but humour me."

"Stupid doesn't quite cover it. He hates them. I think he feels trapped and he sure as heck hates getting kept in overnight on his own. Not the first time that the nursing staff have had to call me back after kicking me out in the first place."

The elevator stopped and they got out, John realising that he was still holding her hand. He didn't bother to let go.

"I can't imagine why the staff would kick out the father of a young adult, especially one as charming as you." She smiled at him and he was almost sure that she was trying to be funny but she had such a straight face as she had said it.

"Don't strain yourself John, I _was_ being funny. I can just see Papa Bear getting his marching order although Dean must have been pretty bad himself for you to get called back."

"You have no idea." John laughed. "IV needle was always the first to go."

"Yeah getting the tubes out was the first thing he asked me to do." She stopped beside a door in the corridor. "This is us."

---

It was a little observation area, almost like the rooms in a police station that Agnes and John were to end up sitting in most of the afternoon.

"We use this room for teaching so that the patients aren't always surrounded by groups of people that see them as nothing more than a learning experience. No one in the other room can see us."

He relaxed then, watching Dean and Julie-Anne dealing with what seemed like an endless stream of patients that filtered through in front of them. John watched as his son brought them in, helped them settle on the table and then spoke to them, encouraging them when it seemed like they were flagging under Julie-Anne's ministrations, distracting them when John could see that they were in pain and generally making the experience a little more easy on them all as they passed through.

Agnes broke his thoughts. "He's good. He has patience, manners and an endless supply of easy chat that just seems to work. And he wants to help, wants to make it easier for them, they pick up on that and it always makes a difference. It's like he's…." She paused searching for the word.

"He's what?"

"I had a friend that was an empath, the way Dean reminds me of her almost makes me think that he is too." She smiled over at John who was sitting nearer the window in the room than she was, intently watching his son as if seeing him for the first time.

"An empath? Dean?" John turned to look at her.

"Yes, he has this ability to identify with and understand another person's feelings or the difficulties that they are facing. You know, the polar opposite from you."

"I know what an empath is, and thanks." John snorted at her.

"If you're not careful, we may just want to keep him." She wanted to gauge his reaction but try to pass the comment off as lightly as she could as well.

"Well you can't." John stared at her before turning back to the view in front of him.

He missed Agnes' hard smile. "There's one last thing that I want you to see. There a young boy here, about Sam's age. He was badly burnt in a house fire and I'd been trying to get him to do a session with me. The actual burns don't cause much pain because the nerves are mostly destroyed, the only thing is that my healing _is_ painful. I'm healing a natural injury, not a supernatural one and they are almost always harder to sort. It drains me so much that I don't normally help that often anymore unless it is life threatening. This boy though….he's lost everything in that fire. His home. His father. There's only him left. I want to at least let him face his life whole and healed. Paul is very shy, painfully so, yet Dean has got him to talk to him, to trust him. Julie-Anne and I had been trying to get him to talk to us and agree to the session for nearly four weeks now, dealing with you lot not withstanding. Dean just waltzed in and managed to get him to agree to a short trial after only two days. Two days!"

"Yeah well, that's Dean. Could talk an Eskimo into buying ice if he puts his mind to it." John didn't look towards her he was still busy watching his son.

Agnes laughed at that and nodded. "I bet he could. We did the trial run yesterday, so today is a full session, but at least Paul knows what to expect now, I don't know though if that is going to make it easier or harder for him. I guess we're about to find out. Stay here, I'm just going to get Dean to fetch him."

With that she slipped through the door and out into the corridor. He watched her walk in and start chatting to his son, glaring almost at the easy camaraderie that they struck up.

"Keep him my ass." John folded his arms and waited as Dean took the old man that they had been finishing with back to his room and Julie-Anne and Agnes set up the room for Paul's arrival. They unlocked a cupboard in the back of the room and made up something that looked like a paste from a few bottles that they had taken out then they walked back over to the table and waited until Dean arrived with a young blonde-haired boy in a wheelchair.

The boy was nervous, John could clearly see that, he didn't blame him, he'd had one little touch of Agnes' power and it had hurt, more than he would ever admit to her. This boy was about to get the full unrestrained version. He pushed away the thought that Dean had had a little taste of that himself. John sat there while Dean chatted to the boy beside him, obviously taking his mind off of what was about to happen.

Dean helped him from the chair to the table, all the time the boy's grip on his arm was like that of a drowning man's to a life raft. Speaking close to Paul's face, Dean gently loosened the fingers from round his wrist and took his hand. Agnes said something then that made both boys laugh and then she spoke to Dean, John realising that she was asking him to let Paul's hand go. His son refused and after a brief exchange Agnes walked to the other side of the bed and removed the light covering gauze that was keeping the burn clean and then gently wiped away what looked like more of the paste that he has watched them make up. John heard a gasping noise and it took a moment before it sank in that it was him that had made it. Under the paste the young man's arm was a mess, the flesh blackened in parts, and all of a sudden John felt sick.

He hated to see people that had been burned.

He still had nightmares about it. Mary on the ceiling and the flames licking at her. His house burning with his wife inside. John closed his eyes and pushed the thoughts and images that were his own personal scar from that night away. Getting himself back under control he went back to watching what his son was doing.

Dean had pulled a wooden stool over and rested his arms on the bed and then his head on to them. This had brought him closer to Paul but still let him watch what Agnes was doing. She took a little of the fresh paste that her and Julie-Anne had made and rubbed it on her hands, then motioned to her daughter to step back. After another attempt at getting Dean to let go Paul's hand she gave up and laid her hands on the younger boy's arm. He jerked straight away, let out a strangled cry and John didn't need to look at his face to tell that whatever she was doing to him…it hurt. A lot. He turned his attention to Dean and that's when he knew why Agnes had wanted his son to let go. Whatever pain Agnes was inflicting on Paul, Dean was feeling it too. The expression on his face was tight but he was leaning over a little more now, ignore his own discomfort to reassure Paul, constantly talking to him, trying to keep him calm.

John switched back to watching Agnes. She was gently running her hands over Paul's damaged arm and with each pass a little of the black skin seemed to rub off and fall free. He was sure though that her hands weren't actually making contact. It was fascinating to watch but she was tiring already, he could see it in the slump of her shoulders. Dean had noticed, switching from comforting Paul to seeking to make sure that Agnes was alright. She waved him off, took her hands off Paul and after saying something to her daughter started to leave. John watched as Julie-Anne applied more paste to Paul's arm and then gently wrapped it in the clean gauze.

The door behind him opened and Agnes stood there but didn't come in. "I think you should go now."

John stood and walked over to her, taking in her pale complexion and the fact that she seemed to be a little unsteady on her feet.

"Does that hurt you as well?" John raised his hand and gently gripped her arm, putting it through his and drawing her away from the door out into the corridor.

"A little. Let's go this way so that we don't run into Dean and Paul on their way back to Paul's room."

He didn't comment on the fact that she was leaning on him as they made their way quietly down the corridor and into the elevator. Agnes pushed the button and lent on the side wall, closing her eyes for just a minute.

"Are you alright?" John's hand brushed her face and she flicked her eyes open briefly.

"Yeah. It just drains me for a bit, that's all. And apart from helping Dean, it's been awhile." When the elevator stopped John helped her out and down to her office. She waved off her P.A. who stop to come help and let John guide her in and into her chair.

"Thanks." She smiled up at him and gestured that he take a seat. "Well you've seen what he's up to, what do you think?"

John sat for a moment, head down and lost in thought, then he looked up. "I think that it's good that Dean's got something to pass his time until we leave, he's got a lot of energy that has to be channelled or he ends up in trouble…usually bar fights."

She was dying to tell him that this wasn't just an exercise to keep Dean busy, that it was to show him that he was good at something else other than just hunting; that she'd offered Dean an out; that she was hoping to hell that he'd take it, even for a little while, even just to show his family how much they'd miss him. Restraining herself she lent over the desk. "Have you ever asked Dean why he hunts, apart from the fact that he doesn't really have a choice?"

"No." John sighed and lent back in his chair to widen the gap between them again. "I just know that you're dying to tell me your opinion on it though."

"That I am. He hunts because he can help people, that he can make a difference. That's why he's so good here. It's never about him…but then you know that."

John stood. "I know why my son hunts and it's more than just to help people. It's so that other families don't ever have to suffer the way our family did. So, if you finish telling me how much better you know the person that I raised for the last fifteen years on my own than I do, I need to go."

He turned to leave and walked right into Dean as he was coming in.

"What are you doing here?"

John threw Agnes a look, wondering briefly if she had kept him here long enough for Dean to come and catch him.

He smiled at his son, keeping it relaxed and easy. "I came up to tell you that Sam and I are off this evening, wanted to check if you still didn't want to come. That and I came to ask Agnes out for lunch."

Julie-Anne appeared behind him. "Mr Winchester, what are you doing here?"

"He wanted to ask me to lunch." Agnes stood and grabbed her jacket.

Dean looked at his watch and then folded his arms. "Lunch? At two-thirty?"

"He had to wait, I was doing my rounds and then I was in with Paul and you guys." Agnes answered before John could.

Dean stared at her for a beat. "Sure whatever, we just stopped by to make sure that you were ok and then we were going to grab something to eat ourselves."

Agnes' eyes lit up. "Why don't we all go together?"

Dean and John looked at her with horrified faces and Julie-Anne laughed and grabbed Dean's arm. "We could go on a double date."

Dean shook his head. "No thanks, I want to be able to eat without having to watch my dad's attempt to make what he thinks passes for sociable chit-chat and your mother's shameless flirting. We'll see you later."

He went to leave but John stopped him. "So you're still not coming with Sam and I tonight?"

"No, I'll come on the hunt but there's something I need to finish here first. You don't mind do you?" John wasn't sure but he thought that he detected the slightest hint of a challenge in the words.

He huffed gently but he shook his head. "No, I don't mind."

"Ok. Good. When are you leaving?"

"About seven."

"I'll be back for then."

"Ok. See you later then."

Dean took Julie-Anne outside and then turned to her. "He was here checking up on me and your mom probably let him see what we were doing this afternoon." He sounded annoyed.

"How do you know that?"

"Because he never asked me what it was that I needed to finish and he didn't argue about me staying, which he usually only does when he's feeling guilty about something."

"Don't you want him to know?"

"It's not that, it would just have been nice if he had come straight out and asked me instead of going to Agnes to find out."

"Maybe you're wrong. Maybe he was just here to ask mom to lunch."

They were standing in the car park now and Dean stopped and took a look round, taking a minute to find what he was looking for. "Yeah right." He dragged her over to the truck in the street outside and laid his hand on the bonnet and then the brake discs. "Both cold and he's got her hiding out on the street when there is plenty of room in the car park."

"You'd make a great cop." Julie-Anne pulled him to her and kissed him. "Smile, for me?" He did and pulled her in for a longer kiss. "What does it matter anyway? Let's go and just enjoy lunch."

"Fine."

She took his hand and pulled him to the Impala. "If we eat quick, we might have a little time to work it off after, before I have to go back to work." She gave him a cheeky grin and he laughed.

"Is that all you ever think about?" He pinned her up against the car.

"With you holding my hand? Damn right."

He opened the door, helped her in and then, rounding the car, climbed in himself. "You know if we go to the drive-thru we could work up an appetite and then eat."

She lent over and kissed him again, let her hand rest on his thigh as she sat back. " Now that sounds like a plan."

They sat there for a spell kissing, not realising that John was watching them. Standing on the steps waiting for Agnes he had seen them check the truck and then watched them together at the car.

"You ready to go?" Agnes came out and stopped beside him.

"Oh yeah….I'm more than ready." His tone made Agnes look at him but she shrugged it off as he took her arm and led her to the truck. Mirroring his son's movements he opened the passenger door and let her in and then he walked round to the driver's side.

He paused as he watched the Impala pull out.

"In fact, sooner we all get out of here the better."

With that he got in the truck and pulled way as well.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Up next Sam and John head out to find out what is going on in Greyton. Without Dean.


	26. Chapter 26

Hi folks!

I'm back from holiday and horrendously behind with everything now, so it was reply to reviews or post, I thought you'd rather have this….at least I hope you do!

A twist and a little pick up of the pace again. Enjoy Mary xx

I will update my replies to the reviews soon x

-

-

Pale Moon On The Rise

Dean watched as his father threw his duffle bag and Sam's into the back of the truck and then turned and walked back to where he and his brother were standing.

"We shouldn't be too long, two or three days at the most and then we'll either come back here or we'll call you, tell you where we can meet up." He gave Dean a brief, stiff hug. "Sure we can't change your mind and get you to come with us? We could use you in the interviews…put that easy charm of yours to better use than just picking up women with it."

Dean smiled. "Nah, I hate the door to door, asking questions stuff and I hate the library." He pushed his brother with his shoulder. "That's geek boy here's territory."

"Yeah, Dean thinks books are for either falling asleep in or using to hide behind when he's eyeing up any unsuspecting female that might dare to stray into the danger zone." Sam flashed a little grin at his brother.

Dean flipped his brother the finger and Sam stuck his tongue out at him. Their father just groaned. "I'll just be a minute, try to behave while I say goodbye to Jim." John took his leave and went indoors.

"It's definitely just recon that you guys are doing, promise me you'll call if you decide to go hunt this thing down and you'll call me once you know what it is?" Dean grew serious and his voice had a worried edge to it.

Sam was slightly startled by the quick change in his brother's mood. "Yeah, I'll call you and let you know how we're getting on." He eyed Dean as his brother twitched nervously in front of them. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem kinda tense."

"Well you and Dad are going to spend two days on your own…I'll be waiting for the call to let me know which one of you has been done for murder." Sam bristled at the little smirk that crossed his brother's face but realised that Dean was trying to lighten the mood again.

"You don't think that we can get along for two or three days without fighting?" The younger Winchester crossed his arms and scowled.

Dean lent in. "I know you can't. I don't think you'll even make it to Greyton without falling out."

Sam huffed, blowing an errant strand of hair from his face as he did. "Fine, fifty dollars says that we do."

"O-Oh I am _soooo_ taking that bet." Dean slung his arm round his brother's shoulders. "Call me as soon as you get to Greyton, I'll be able to tell if he's pissed you off or not."

"Fine. I will, but be prepared to lose….big time." Sam grabbed his laptop bag that was sitting at his feet and headed over to John's truck.

"Hey Sam?"

He turned at the sound of his brother's voice expecting some sort of snide remark. "What?"

"Be careful ok." Dean closed the gap on him, eyes serious as he approached and for a moment Sam thought that his brother was going to hug him but he just slapped him on the shoulder instead. "Don't let Dad drag you off into the woods before you know what it is that you're going up against."

"I won't, don't worry." He went to climb in and stopped. "You're such a girl sometime."

"I ain't the one that's the bitch." Dean grinned.

Sam slammed the door and mouthed 'jerk' through the window.

John and Jim walked out to the truck and Dean turned. "So you'll call me when you find out what's going on?"

"Or you could still just come with us." John opened the truck door and climbed in as he spoke.

Dean moved to the open door and Jim could tell that he was wavering about staying behind, concern drifting through his green eyes. "I've got a few things that I could use Dean's help for here and besides you promised Agnes that you'd stay to help until the end of the week. I am not going to be the one to face her wrath if you leave without saying to her." He gently touched Dean's arm and pulled him back.

John shut the truck door and lent out the window. "You take good care of my boy there Jim and tell Agnes that he'd better still be in one piece when I get back." He started the engine over Jim's reply of 'I will' and slowly backed the big truck out past the Impala before swinging it in a circle. A hand waved back from each window and Dean raised his own in reply.

They stood there until the truck rounded the bend at the end of the house's drive and then Jim turned to Dean, putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "They'll be fine you know, its only a couple of days."

Dean ran his hand through his short hair. "It's Dad and Sam, they could be arguing before they even hit the highway."

"Well then Agnes is right, it'll do them good to have to spend some time together on their own. They'll have to make the effort for once to play nice."

Dean sighed. "They don't know how to. I should have gone with them. This isn't gonna end well, I know it."

Jim smiled and turned Dean to face him, looking him in the eye. "It will be fine. Now do you want to tell me what you've been doing at the hospital? Agnes mentioned that she'd a patient that she wanted you to speak to and spend some time with."

They started to walk back in as they spoke. "Yeah. His name's Paul. He got hurt in a house fire, wouldn't let Agnes try to heal him but I kinda talked him round. He's a nice kid, I feel sorry for him."

Dean held the door and let Jim go in first. "Why?"

"He lost the last of his family in the fire, if that had been me, I don't know what I'd have done." Jim watched as Dean took one last look out down the drive.

"Come on. Let's get something for you to eat and you can tell me more about Paul." Jim couldn't believe that Agnes had actually managed to get Dean to agree to stay behind but he knew that if this boy in the hospital needed him, Dean would have felt the obligation to. It was a good enough idea, separate Dean off from the other two for a bit, let him see that he could do something other than run after them and let them see just how much he actually does for them.

All they had to do now was stop Dean from worrying himself to death before they got back.

---

He looked tired when he arrived the next day at her door. Agnes smiled up at Dean but his own was strained in returned.

"Did they get there ok?" She walked round the desk and then sat on the front of it facing him as he stood in her doorway.

"Yeah. Sam called just after midnight and again this morning. It seems they managed to get all the way through breakfast without a single raised word." He moved forward and took a seat in one of the chairs and she lent forward to him.

"But you're still worried about them." It wasn't a question.

He sighed. "A little. The longer they go with being nice to one another the worse it usually is when they decide that they've had enough."

"Well then, aren't you glad that you here and not there?" She tried to get him to smile again but she failed.

"I'm still the one that'll get to mop up though." He ran his hand across his face in a little gesture that she'd learned meant he was worried.

Reaching forward, she took his hand. He felt it, the gentle little probe. She was checking on him. "Perhaps we should skip Paul's session today. He's still sore from yesterday and you're tired."

Dean shook his head. "Only if he wants to skip it, if he wants to go through with it we should, that's if you're up to it?"

Dean looked up at her and she moved her hand up to cup his face. "I'm fine but I'll do it on one condition. You let go of his hand this time."

She got the protest that she had been expecting. "It isn't that bad, just like really bad pins and needles in your arm, it's worse for him."

Agnes sighed. "I don't think that someone who has only just about recovered from getting made to suffer some pretty serious heart attacks should really be experiencing more pain. I want you to promise me or I'm not doing the session."

"That's blackmail." He pulled himself away from her and stood.

"I know, but it's my way or the highway on this one. I don't want to see you hurt again and I certainly don't want to be the cause. Please?"

"Fine but you're so manipulative. Just like my dad. Except he doesn't say please." His face was serious but there was a little amused twinkle in his eye.

Agnes laughed. "You don't know the half of it. And was that an insult you just threw at me?" She took his arm. "Walk with me." They strolled down the corridor to the elevator. "So you thought any more about my job offer?"

"Let's see if Dad and Sam make it through three days without me and then I'll think about it."

She let it go at that knowing not to push, that it had to be his decision. She had sold him his staying here when John and Sam left as a way of giving his family a little time to work at their differences without him there to mediate. It was also a way of showing Dean that he could cope without them just as well as they would probably cope without him.

She just hoped that he would see it.

---

Dean and Paul were sitting chatting as she prepared the paste that she needed. She smiled as she watched them, Paul had been more animated in the last few days than he had been in all the time that he had been here. She just didn't want to have him depend on Dean completely, a few more days and she would start the session on her own, but at the moment Paul needed Dean and Dean in turn was happy to be needed. For now it was a mutually agreeable arrangement.

She walked over and sat down on the opposite side of the bed from Dean, gently taking Paul's arm and cleaning away the paste that had been applied after yesterday's session. Dean noted that the arm was already looking better after just one treatment and he wondered again just how powerful a witch Agnes really was.

"Dean?" Her voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked at her quizzically. "Hand?"

He patted Paul's arm and withdrew his hands. The younger boy looked at him for a second. "Boss' orders, sorry." He leant on the bed though, getting as close to Paul as he could to reassure him without actually touching him.

Agnes did two or three passes over Paul's arm before she had to shut her eyes and concentrate to block out the pain that was starting to build. There was always a little feedback from the person she was healing and Paul was nervous which in turn was heightening his pain. She was about to stop when she felt the edge fall off it and she didn't need to open her eyes to know that Dean had disobeyed her and taken the younger boy's hand, lightening both his and her load a little.

She kept her eyes closed and finished the session not needing to see to know which parts of Paul's arm needed the most attention, letting instinct alone guide her. Bringing her hands away she finally opened her eyes and couldn't stop the small smile that escaped as she looked over at Dean, now a picture of innocence with his hands resting once more on the bedcovers.

"I'll get Julie-Anne to give you a hand with helping get Paul finished off and then back to his room, I've got some stuff that I need to do." She walked round and squeezed his shoulder a little too hard. "And don't think for one moment that you got away with that." She swayed slightly and Dean caught her arm.

"Are you ok?" He looked up at her with such sincere concern for her in his eyes that her annoyance at him melted.

She lent in. "I'm fine, but I want you to rest up for the remainder of the afternoon. Julie-Anne can go when you guys are finished with Paul, take her somewhere nice, down to the lake or something and have some fun."

"Yes Ma'am." He gave her a little mock salute and then turned to look at Paul, catching the little look of longing on the younger boy's face. "Hey, could Paul come with us? We'll only go to the lake, grab something to eat, get him out in the fresh air for a bit."

Agnes looked at her patient and smiled. "If you're up for it, it's alright with me but I warn you now….these two can't keep their hands off of one another for longer than ten minutes."

Paul laughed. "I've kind of noticed that already. I'd love to come, if you're sure that you want me too?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't have asked otherwise." Dean turned to Agnes. "Anything I should know about his arm….any do and don'ts?"

"Try to keep it clean and dry. Try not to touch it too much just now, the skin's tender and you'll hurt him if you jostle him. Get yourselves sorted, come by the office and I'll give you the keys for the jeep, it'll be easier than that car of yours to get him in and out of."

Julie-Anne walked in just as Agnes got to the door. "Seems you've got two young studs to go on a date with today. Behave yourself." She hugged her daughter and then disappeared off outside.

Julie-Anne smiled at Paul. "You're coming with us?" Paul smiled back at her and then nodded. "Cool. Well then, why don't I finish off your arm and Dean here….." ….she put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss….. "….can go and get us some food to take with us."

"What are you guys wanting or will I just get a selection…bearing in mind it's the vending machine in the canteen that I'll be raiding?" He left with his orders and then after stopping by Agnes office they headed out.

The afternoon was a success. They chatted about stupid things and Julie-Anne revealed a few stories about her mother that Dean knew Agnes was liable to kill her for but that made Paul laugh. Paul in turn opened up a little about his family and about how he missed his dad being there for him, which pushed Dean's own thoughts to his brother and his dad. He shared a few of the lighter stories from their life on the road skilfully avoiding anything that would lead to awkward questions from Paul.

It was growing dark by the time that they started back and Agnes was waiting on them as they arrived at the clinic.

"Thought you'd got lost there for a moment or two. Everything alright?" She looked at Paul as she spoke.

"It's great. I had a good time." He let Dean help lower him into the wheelchair and then Agnes called for an orderly to come out and take him inside.

Dean went to stop him. "It's ok, I've got him."

Agnes touched his arm lightly. "Jim called." She saw the panic race across his face.

"When? What happened?" He was already on his way to the Impala, only realising then that he had left his jacket and his phone on the back seat.

"About an hour or so ago. He tried to call your phone. Sam called him." Agnes paused and Dean raised an eyebrow at her expectantly. " John's taking him out on the hunt…..tonight."

---

Sam was standing in the middle of the motel room floor. "I promised Dean that I'd call when we found out what this thing was."

"It's some sort of werewolf Sam, and it's tonight or nothing for a whole other month. Do you think that Dean would sit and wait on you if the roles were reversed? Do you think that he'd give this thing another opportunity to hurt someone just 'cos he promised his brother he'd call?" John was in Sam's face now.

"You told him you'd call." Sam crossed his arms and stared his father down. "He would want to be here for this."

"Yeah well he isn't here is he? Don't you want your brother to see that you're able to do a simple hunt without him? It's one little werewolf Sammy, what are you, scared?"

Sam bristled. "I'm not scared, and if it's a werewolf why isn't it just taking the hearts? Why is it taking the full body?"

John waved his arms wide. "I don't know, and frankly I don't care. It killed someone else last night and if we don't go hunt it, it's probably going to kill again tonight. Are you alright with someone dying just so that you can wait on your brother to hold your hand on this hunt?" John was already loading silver bullets into his handgun.

"I'm going to phone him." Sam picked up John's phone and started to call up the phonebook in it.

"You're just gonna worry him. He's too far away to get here in time and you know what he'll do. He'll get in that car of his and probably kill himself trying to get here as fast as he can." John placed his hand on his youngest son's shoulder. "Sam, we've got this covered. We don't need Dean."

For one moment John thought that Sam was going to close the phone and then that little defiant look crossed his face. "No. I promised him. I'm calling." He hit send and shrugged John's hand off.

"I'm not waiting on him." John angrily thrust his stuff into his duffle and started for the door.

Sam cursed as his father slammed the door and his brother's phone went to voicemail almost simultaneously. "Hi, it's me. Listen it's a werewolf, we think. Tonight's the last night of the lunar cycle so Dad and I are going to hunt it down on our own. I'll call you when we're done. Don't worry and don't come down here ok? We'll be fine….."

John threw open the door again. "Are you coming or not?"

"….I need to go. Speak to you later. Bye." Sam disconnected the call and then called up Jim's number as he headed for the door. "Let's go." He picked up his own gun, checked that it was loaded with silver bullets and followed John out.

--------

Dean heard the little tone as soon as he slid into the Impala. He quickly lent over the back seat to retrieve his jacket as soon as he was inside. Fishing his phone out he opened it up as Julie-Anne and Agnes came round and stood next to the still open driver's door.

They watched as his face grew thunderous. He tried to call his brother back but the phone obviously went to voicemail, drawing a curse from Dean's lips.

"Sonuvabitch! I'm going to kill him." He started the engine and looked up. "I can't believe that my dad's taken Sam on the damned hunt without me. He did this to get back at me for not going. You need to move." He tried to pull the door closed but Agnes put a hand on it.

"Where are you going?"

"I need some stuff from Jim's and then I'm going to find them."

"You'll never catch them, it over a two hour drive."

His face had a look of grim determination on it. "Watch me." Waiting until she stepped back, he slammed the car door shut and threw the classic into reverse, swinging her round in the tight carpark and tearing out the exit.

Agnes and Julie-Anne ran for the car.

"He's going to kill someone driving like that, probably himself." Agnes started the jeep and pulled out following the direction that the Impala had now disappeared along.

"He always drives like that, wait until he's clear of the town." Julie-Anne gave her mother a small smile.

"You are so not getting back in that car with him." Still, Agnes gunned her own engine hard as she hit the edge of the town and followed him out.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks for reading! Mary xx


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

HI

Quicker update than last one but an evil cliffie, sorry. Thanks for your support, Mary x

The Last Hunt?

Agnes watched as Dean methodically checked everything that he needed was in the trunk of his car, despite the fact that she could see the worry running through him that would have made anyone else just go.

Once he was satisfied he rounded the car and picking his duffle up from the ground threw it in the back and then climbed into the driver's seat. He looked up. "Can you tell Paul that I'm sorry, that I had to go. Tell him I'll come back, soon as I've checked that everything is ok."

She nodded her agreement. "Dean this is crazy. You'll never get there before they go on this hunt."

"Probably not, but I need to try. Sam's only really done salt and burns, a couple of black dogs. Small hunts. This thing has killed people, dragged off the bodies. Dad shouldn't be taking him out after something like this on his own. Worse still they're at the niggling stage, I heard it on the phone….if they go after this they need to be working together, looking out for each other's back….._not_ picking at each other."

Agnes knelt down in the car door. "You be careful. I know that you managed that other hunt with Sam but you're still not at the top of your game and I know that you didn't get enough sleep last night. I don't want to see you hurt trying to protect your brother." She stood. "John will watch out for him, you know he will."

"I know, but sometimes watching out for someone isn't enough. I need to go, I'm losing daylight."

She stepped back at that and Julie-Anne took her place briefly. "Be careful." She kissed him. "Be safe."

He rewarded her concern with a quick cheeky grin. "I'll try." He closed the car door and started her up but before he could pull away Agnes stopped him again, sticking her head into the open window. "I should come with you." She pulled back but he stopped her gripping her hand.

"And do what? What about Paul? He needs you here and I need to go….now."

He dropped the hand and Agnes stepped back. "Fine….but you call me if you need me…..for anything."

Dean smiled. "Promise. Can I go now mom?"

She shook her head and waved him off. "Tell your father that I'm going to kick his ass for pulling you away from my patients. He did this on purpose you know that don't you, he knew that if he took Sam on this hunt that he'd call you and you'd come running. Your doing what he wants you to again."

Dean smile turned to a wry one. "If I had of done that….I'd already be on the damned hunt. I'm going because I have to make sure that my brother is safe, don't mark me down for that."

"I'm not. You'd better go."

She stood with Julie-Anne and watched him drive away.

Jim walked up behind them. "I've got my truck packed, did it when Sam called. Think I'll take a drive over to visit an old friend."

Agnes smiled. "He wouldn't happen to stay outside Greyton would he?"

"He does. Funny that….how did you know?" He grinned at her and then grew serious. "It'll be all over by the time I get there, there is no way that I'm going to drive as fast as Dean will but at least I might be there in time to help with the aftermath."

"I feel this is my fault. That John's punishing Dean somehow for staying, by taking Sam on the hunt when he knows Dean didn't want him to do that."

"It's not your fault but you are probably right. John doesn't like his boys stepping out of line. You can guilt Dean into doing almost anything for you, John knows that. That's what he's done here, made Dean feel guilty for not wanting to go with them."

Agnes turned to Jim. "So much for John wanting to keep them safe, he's got one on a hunt that his brother doesn't think that he's ready for and the other driving across country at god only knows what speed to join them."

"Yes well, John's idea of safe kind of differs from that of most other people."

Agnes laughed at that. "You think?"

"I know." He got in the truck. "You girls are welcome to stay here tonight. I'll call you when I get there, let you know how things are."

"Thanks Jim, we will."

Agnes took her daughter's hand and they watched him leave. She wasn't angry at Dean leaving, she knew why he'd had to go though, she was mad at John though for managing to manipulate Dean into running after them.

---

John jumped as Sam slammed the truck's door so hard he almost put it through the other side. "So we're not going for the stealth approach then?" He scowled disapprovingly at his youngest son.

Sam snorted. "Your truck rumbles louder than Dean's stomach, kinda ruins the whole 'stealth approach' before you even get started." Sam did the little quoty thing with his fingers that John hated.

"Hope you're as sharp on this hunt as you are with your mouth." John pressed the button that opened his concealed weapons rack and took two silver knives from it, handing one to Sam and putting the other in his belt loop.

Sam scowled but said nothing. Placing the knife in his own belt loop he checked his gun again. John stepped closer to him. "You stay right behind me. No gaps. You hear anything you tap my shoulder and we both stop. If I run, you run. Shoot first…."

"…..ask question later. I got it. Stay together." Sam rolled his eyes as he finished the sentence for his father, he had heard Dean get this speech a thousand times.

"This isn't a game Sam, you screw up, one of us gets hurt or worse."

"I know it's not a game. I've seen what happens to Dean on these hunts remember?" Sam made sure that he dug the words in.

"All the more reason for you to listen and obey, your brother does and he still gets hurt. I can't have you questioning my decisions when we're doing this Sam, you got me?" John pulled his son's face up and round so that he could see straight into his eyes.

"I got you. _You're_ in charge. I _follow_ orders."

John stared at him for a moment longer before shaking his head and turning away. "You know maybe Dean's right. I don't know if you're ready for this or not Sam, maybe you should wait in the truck."

Sam caught his dad's arm and spun him back to him. "Oh no, I didn't let you drag my ass out here into the middle of god damn nowhere just to be left cooling my heels in the truck."

John stood for a moment. "Well then, let's go. We'll get into the woods and find a good vantage point before it gets dark and this thing comes out to play."

"It was taking people off this road?" Sam looked up and down the quiet little road which John had pulled the truck off of.

"Yeah. There's a bar back there, people use this road as a shortcut back to town. It seems to be waiting for them, pulling them off through the woods. You said that there was a pattern showing?"

Sam fell into step behind his father as they started into the woods. "Yeah, every year there are at least half a dozen people go missing and then it just seems to stop."

"This might not be a werewolf Sam." John stopped so suddenly that his son ran into him. "Sam if anything happens to me out here I want you to leave me, do you here me? You get back to the truck, you get the hell out of here and you call your brother. Do I make myself clear?"

"I'm not leaving you."

John turned his face steely. "Yeah you are. If I go down, I need you to go get help."

"You mean that it this thing is good enough to take you down I don't stand a chance, so I should just run away. I though you were the one that was dead set against me doing that." Sam huffed the hair off his face.

"What do you mean by that?" John growled.

"I mean you see me wanting to go to college as running away. It's not. I just don't want to hunt until something kills me, I want a life. That's not running away."

"I never said you were running away Sam." John started moving forward again.

"You didn't have too."

John sighed, irritation starting to build in him. "Can we not do this here Sam, we're hunting, can you keep your mind on the job."

"So when are you gonna talk to me about it? You're gonna have to you know, it's not just gonna go away because you want it to."

"Sam!" John turned and grabbed his son's jacket. "Enough….."

Whatever John was going to say died in his throat at the sound of branches breaking off to their right. Something was coming at them and it was coming fast. "Move!" He pushed Sam in front of him, urging him to run back towards where the truck was, almost grateful when his son for once did as he was told.

They were almost at the tree line when it caught them, long nails ripping down John's back, weight pushing him forward to the ground.

Sam sensed rather than heard his father fall.

He knew he should keep running, his dad expected him to but he couldn't leave him. Stopping he pulled his gun as he turned.

It hadn't stopped when it downed John, it had flattened his father and then just kept coming for him.

He felt the air get pushed from his lungs as it hit just as he finished his turn, not even able to raise the gun high enough to get a clean shot.

He got a glimpse of red eyes and then it's teeth were in his neck, sinking into his collar bone, crushing it.

There was a shot then, and the pressure eased a little. The next shot caused it to let go completely as it howled it's anger and then it was gone, off into the woods.

He was aware that his father was there, calling his name, John's own blood dripping from his shoulder onto his face, each little splash making him blink.

He couldn't answer him, his head was a fog of white noise with only two clear thoughts running through it before the darkness reached up and dragged him down.

_Oh shit. _

_It bit me._

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks for reading, Mary x


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Dean final catches up with his family, but will he like what he finds?

Thanks for the reviews folks, sorry my replies are a little delay this weather, there is a lot going on in RL! Mary x

What goes around

Dean cursed as his dad's phone went to voicemail again. "What's the point of having these damn things if you're never gonna answer it?" He threw the phone on the seat beside him and looked for a diner.

He was just pulling into the outskirts of Greyton a little under one and a half hours after he'd left Agnes and if the Impala had a tongue it would have been hanging out. He'd pushed her too hard and too long, the gauges on the dash telling him that she wasn't exactly happy with the rough treatment. "I'm sorry girl, I'll make it up to you, I promise." He touched the steering wheel with a loving pat.

The sign for the diner showed two miles and he eased back on the gas a little now that he was almost there, not wanting to get pulled over at this late stage. Finally the neon for Molly's diner appeared on the his side of the road and he swung in, throwing the Impala into the first empty space.

The little bell above the door tinkled as he stepped through and walked to the counter. The waitress smiled over it at him as he slipped into a seat in front of her. "What can I get you sugar?"

"Just a coffee please. To go. Have you got a phone book?" He smiled distractedly at her.

"One coffee coming up. Phone's in the corner there. Book should be there too." She pointed over.

"Thanks." Dean went over and flicked open the phone book looking for the motels in the town. Finding them he noted the name and the phone number of the first one listed. "Bates' Motel, bet you get a lot of trade." He wondered back over and collected and paid for his coffee. "Say, can you tell me where Bates' Motel is?"

The waitress threw him a look. "Oh honey there's better motels in the area than that one. Willow and Pines is cleaner at least."

"My friend's stopping there. I've to meet up with him."

"Ok then. It's three streets down, take a right, then first right again and it's at the end of the road. If you get lost it's off of Highway 10. Hope you don't have to stay there too long." She threw him an almost sympathetic look.

"So do I." He got out and sat in the car for just a few minutes, letting the coffee rouse his failing senses. He would never admit it to anyone but he was dog-tired, the hard drive on top of only a little lousy sleep had drained him. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get moving Winchester." He threw the cup in the bin and headed out, following the waitress' directions.

The motel when he got there wasn't in the best of health either. There was no paint left on any of its woodwork and at least three of the rooms that he could see were boarded up. "Tell me you just went to the next one."

He walked up into the office and was about to ring the bell when he noticed the register under the counter. He quickly pulled it out and looked for either Sam's or his father's writing.

Jacob Jones, John's handwriting jumped off the page at him. They were in Room 17.

Dean sighed, turned and headed out to the rooms, finding no.17 and making short work of the lock on it. Stepping into the darkness he fumbled for the light switch. The two duffle bags on the floor instantly told him he was in the right place.

"Ok, so where the hell did you go?" Sam would never leave his laptop behind but Dean hoped that at least there would be his notebook in his bag, but his luck as usual deserted him. He stopped for a moment debating his next move and then realised he had only one.

"Screw it."

He left the room and marched back into the office, hammering the bell on the counter hard when he got there. "Shop!" He kept hammering it until he heard the sounds of a door shutting and feet behind the door facing the counter.

"Alright, alright, keep your hair on! I'm coming!" It swung open to reveal a short, old man with a supremely pissed off look on his face. "Man can't even take a piss in peace. What you wanting? If it's a room your shit out of luck. We're full."

Dean snorted at the obvious lie and pulled out his US Marshall badge. "The road where the people are disappearing from, where is it?"

"Does this look like a tourist information bureau to you? Your law, find it yourself."

The old man turned to walk away.

"I'm only gonna ask nicely that one time."

Something in Dean's voice stopped the man.

That and the click of the safety.

He turned to be faced with a tricked out silver pistol with fancy pearl grips pointing straight at his face. "I'm tired and I'm worried and I can't be bothered trying to finesse the information outta you. Where's the damn road?"

The old man swallowed hard but to his credit didn't blink. "Out onto Highway 10, head north, drive for two miles and there's a turning on the left. That's the road you're looking for."

"Thank you." Dean smiled sweetly at him and left.

"Asshole." The old man shuffled back into his room and slammed the door behind him.

---

Dean drove the road twice before pulling into one of only two parking spots on it and getting out, he tried his father's phone again but again it just switched straight to voicemail. "Sonuvabitch. I swear if you're alright sitting in a bar somewhere I'm gonna kill you myself."

He got out of the car and took a look up and down the road trying to spot anything that looked out of place. The ground that he'd parked on was soft and he noted the tyre tracks that stopped further up from where he had stopped the Impala. Something wider than her had been parked here, the tracks were deep, no other marks covering them, fresh ones. His father's truck was the first thing that came to mind.

There was nothing else of note except a small path from the spot that led into the woods. Sighing he walked round and opened the trunk, switched his clip for one filled with silver bullets and grabbed a flashlight. Then he headed in. It wasn't fully dark and he wasn't sure if the thing was still out there so he left the light off for now, relying on what little light was left in the sky to let him see his way in.

He walked less than a mile before he hit a large clearing and finally decided to call out to see if they were here. _No truck Dean, _his little inner voice chided him but he called out anyway.

"SAM!" His voice and his brother's name echoed around the opening but that was the only sound that broke the almost complete silence that surrounded him.

That's when he realised it…..it was too quiet.

Nothing was moving.

He flicked the safety off the gun and slipped the flashlight into his left hand.

Then he stepped back onto the path.

He was about five hundred yards from the car when he realised that it was following him.

It's movements were stealthy but it's breathing was strangely laboured. He stopped and moved in against a tree, trying to get the direction that it was approaching him from but the breeze was pushing the sounds around and he couldn't be sure exactly were it was, only that it was still behind him for the moment.

His leg was still sore from the incident in the graveyard and he took a quick look down the path towards the car, wondering if he could outrun it, hoping that the laboured breathing was a bad sign for it. He knew he couldn't fight it here, the trees were too close together to get enough warning for a clear shot.

Taking a deep breath he switched the flashlight on and went for it.

The crashing noise from behind told him that it had heard him start to run. He shone the light on the ground, keeping his head down and his speed up, not even pausing when the branches ripped at his face and the top of his head. It was closer and he risked a look back, catching the movement on the path behind him, knowing that it was closing the gap.

The look back was to cost him though as he stumbled, pulling something in his already badly bruised hip and he went down. A little gasp of pain escaped him as he landed hard on the bone, unable to break the fall with his hands and keep his grip on the light and his gun. He rolled as he hit the ground, taking aim at the dark shape that was only feet away from him on the path, then freezing as he watched it skid to a halt when it saw the gun being raised. It stepped to the side, further into the shadows and growled at him.

Dean arced the light of the flashlight up into it's face and it stepped further into trees. Then it turned and left. Lying back down for a second he calmed his heart and then rolled to get up, the light catching a glimpse of something as he did. His hip and leg reminded him that they weren't happy with his rough treatment of them and he knew that he'd pulled something but he brushed it off and walked over to where the light had reflected off of something metallic. Mindful that the creature was still out there somewhere he stepped over to the bush and brushed back the leaves.

It was a gun that the light had picked up and it wasn't just any gun.

"Sam." Dean picked up the gun, so similar to his own and turned it in his hand. He checked it over. The clip was full and he slotted it back in and pushed it into the waistband of his jeans. Shining the light round where he was standing he watched as it picked up the dark stain on the ground just off to the left hand side of the path.

The creature was forgotten as he stepped forward and knelt down, touching his hand to the liquid, knowing what it was even before he lifted his hand to the light.

"Sam." His voice had a broken sound to it this time as the one word escaped him.

He stood slowly, debating for a moment whether or not to go back in and hunt this thing down, not knowing if it had taken both his father and his brother or whether they had escaped it and were injured. _NO truck Dean_, the little voice was insistant this time.

That's when the forest light up blue and red.

The lights from the police cruiser decided the matter for him. He slipped the safety on and placed his own gun inside his jacket, pulling out the badge as soon as his hand was free.

"Stop there!" The policeman had his weapon raised and pointing straight at him as he walked out of the woods.

He opened the badge. "US Marshall."

"You wouldn't be the same Marshall that threaten old Marvin with a gun down at the Bates?" Dean noticed that the cop lower his arm but didn't holster his weapon, his eyes scanning both him and the woods behind him.

"Guilty. He wasn't being very co-operative, so I used a bit of gentle persuasion. I'm sorry if I scared him. Did he send out you out after me?"

The cop smiled. "Marv's a bit of an old coot when he sets his mind to it, not the first time that I've wanted to shot him myself. He got the model of your car and told us where you were heading. What are you doing here anyway?" The cop finally slotted the gun home in the holster on his leg.

"Investigating the disappearances, looking for two guys in particular, reporters. They were headed this way tonight. They'd have been driving a black truck. Did you get reports of a disturbance here earlier tonight?" Dean prayed that they had.

"We took two guys into the county hospital earlier, their truck caught our eye on a drive by. It seems they were attacked out here. Said it was a wolf."

Dean felt his heart skip painfully in his chest. "They ok?"

"Older one was walking wounded. The younger one was in surgery last time we checked, collar bone was crushed when whatever it was that attacked them bit him. Lost quite a bit of blood by all accounts. Reporters you say? Those guys take crazy risks….wouldn't catch me out here wandering these woods unless I had to."

Dean blanched. "It bit him?" _ohmygodohmygodohmygod. _

"Yeah, never seen a wolf bite like that before though. Real nasty. Say are you ok? You look a bit pale there."

"I'm fine." _It bit him_. He fought down the bile that was rising in his throat. "Where's the hospital?" Dean was moving towards the car now.

The cop gave him directions and Dean pulled the Impala out on the road doing a graceful 360 before flooring the gas pedal and taking off back towards the town.

---

His phone rang as he was pulling up into the lot across the road from the hospital.

"Where are you?" John's voice sounded unsteady, if Dean didn't know better he could've sworn his father had been crying.

"Two minutes from being in your face. Why'd you do it? Why couldn't you just have waited?" He could feel the anger boiling in his blood.

"It would have gotten away if we had waited." It was a poor excuse now and they both knew it.

"It damn well got away anyway!" Dean was half marching, half limping through the entrance to the A&E. "What floor are you on?"

"Three. There's a waiting room at the end of the corridor. I'm in there. Your brother….Sam….." Dean felt the panic rise in him again as his dad's voice broke. "He's…."

Dean pulled open the stairwell door and started up the stairs not wanting the phone to cut off in the elevator. "In surgery, I know. I was out there, spoke to some cops." His leg's protest was becoming louder but he carried on unheeding of the pain that was biting at his thigh. "Any news yet?"

"No."

Dean burst through the door at the top of the stairs and finally cut the call as he did. He was halfway along the corridor when his dad stepped out from the room causing him to draw up. "What the hell happened to you?"

John was dressed him a hospital gown over the top of his jeans and his face was almost featureless it was so pale. Dean grabbed his father and spun him, taking in the bandage, that covered most of his left shoulder,through the thin material. John pulled away from his touch. "It's nothing, just a scratch. It bowled me over and then went after Sam, I couldn't……I couldn't stop it."

Dean's initial anger had faded to concern. "Some scratch. How'd you ditch it?"

"Shot it. Clipped it in the throat the first time, got it in the back the second. It ran off after that." John swayed slightly as he spoke and Dean put a hand on his back to steady him.

"Come and sit down." Dean directed his father back into the small waiting room and into a seat.

"You're limping."

"Fell." Dean didn't elaborate. "You want a drink? Coffee or something?"

John shook his head. "You should have been there."

Dean wasn't sure if it was an accusation or not and he gathered himself ready for an onslaught. John was hurting and he was the nearest thing for him to vent his frustration at.

It didn't come, instead his father's voice was filled with guilt when he spoke. "I should have waited on you. I should never had taken him in there alone." His father turned. "It bit him." The pain in his voice made Dean want to scream.

"I know. I didn't get a good look at it." Dean asked the question he didn't really think he wanted an answer to. "Was it a werewolf?"

John's face contorted and he put his hand up in front of it, closing his eyes to try and force his emotions to stay in check. He nodded and Dean mirrored the gesture. "I think so." John's expression changed then. "Wait. When did you see it?"

"I was looking for you and Sam. The old guy at the motel gave me the directions. It chased me through the woods."

"Are you hurt?" John pulled his son to him and examined him more closely. "Your leg?"

"Like I said, I fell." Dean freed himself from the grip that his father had on his arms and sat back. "It knew what the gun was. Ran off when I drew on it."

That caught John's attention. "It knew what the gun was?"

"Yeah, well I think so, it didn't attack me anyway when it saw it. Why?"

John's reply was staved off by the arrival of the doctor. "Mr Jones?"

John went to stand but the doctor motioned him to stay seated and slid into the seat next to him. "Sam's in recovery. He's lost a lot of blood, we'll know more about his chances when he wakes up…." he paused. "…..if he wakes up….."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks for reading! I will update soon, probably Saturday. Mary x


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi there

So Sam has been bit and Dean has finally caught up with his family.

They need to know what they are dealing with so Dean heads out to hunt it down.

A Long Dark Night 

Dean had introduced himself as a Marshall to the doctor and then they sat there as the man explained to them about the blood loss and the crushed bones and the damaged nerves. He told them that Sam had a serious infection and that it was spreading, despite the fact that they had him on a cocktail of antibiotics to help him while they waited for his immune system to kick in and produce the antibodies to fight the infection itself.

"There are other concerns of course." The doctor was looking at his chart as he continued speaking. "With it being an animal there is the fear of Sam contracting rabies……." he looked up at John and Dean "……if we could just get a look at the thing that bit him or better still some of its blood, then we would know what we were dealing with and could narrow our treatment accordingly. As it is, we just need to cover all the bases and hope for the best."

Dean was sure that the doctor had told them other things after that but he had tuned out after he had mentioned that he need to know what had bit Sam. Dean was with him on that one, although not necessarily for the same reasons. They had to know what they were dealing with here and then they had to decide what they were going to do about it. _It bit him. _The three words circled in his head again even as his father's angry tone pulled him back to the conversation.

"I really wish you would let us admit you, especially due to the infection that Sam has picked up. You could be carrying it too, I know we've given you tablets to take but I really feel than an IV infusion would be the better option. It should only be one night. You would be here with your son anyway." The doctor's voice was soft and placating but John was having none of it.

"I told you no. It's just a scratch is all." John was glaring at the doctor. "Instead of wasting time here with me shouldn't you be getting back to my son?"

Dean put a hand on his father arm. "He'll let you admit him."

The doctor and John turned to look at him, the glare on his father's face now directed at him.

"What?" Dean's voice had an edge of anger to it. "I'm just suppose to sit here and hope that you don't take ill too? I'm just suppose to deal with it if you do just 'cos you're a stubborn sonuvabitch? What would you do if it was me?"

John glare hardened. "I'd make you stay."

"Exactly." Dean folded his arms.

John huffed but there was something in Dean's eyes that made him back down. "Fine. I'll do it on two conditions."

Dean and the doctor looked at him expectantly. "One, I get to sit beside Sam's bed while the drip is in and two…." he looked at Dean. "….you let the doctor look at that leg."

"Leg's fine." Dean tried to stare John down but it was him that failed this time. "Ok." He looked at the doctor.

"That's fine by me. I'll make the arrangements and if you come with me, I'll check you over." Dean followed the doctor out.

"So when can I see my brother?"

"Brother? I thought you said that you were a US Marshall?" The doctor gave him a confused look.

Dean recovered quickly from his slip. "Yeah, I am but I'm family too, my dad and my brother called me to come look at a story they were investigating. I just wish that I could have gotten here sooner, maybe my brother wouldn't be lying injured in a hospital bed."

The doctor realised that there was something else going on here that he wasn't privy to, an underlying tension in the statement that had nothing to do with his patient. "Or you could all have been hurt."

Dean threw him a look. "Yeah, or that. So my brother?"

"We'll have him settled in a room soon. You can see him then."

---

Agnes and Julie-Anne had lasted all of fifteen minutes after Jim left before they were climbing into the jeep and following him out.

"Do you have any idea where you're going?" Julie-Anne looked at her mother as she pulled out into the main road outside Jim's church.

"No, but that's what I have you for." She pulled out the map from the door pocket and threw it at her daughter. "Greyton. You're navigating." She turned and smiled sweetly. "If we get lost, it's your fault."

"Always is." Julie-Anne opened the map.

After a few minutes Agnes turned to look at her. "Well, you got a route for me?"

"Yeah. I think. Hold on….damn." Julie-Anne looked over. "This is the right road, we're just going down it the wrong way."

"Figures." Agnes swung the jeep round when she could and headed back out past Jim's in the opposite direction.

-----

Dean sat with his mobile in his hand debating his next move. They had sat with Sam for almost an hour before they were kicked out for the doctor to run some more tests.

His father was sitting opposite him, silent and withdrawn in a wheelchair that they had insisted he use, his IV stand next to it. He hadn't said a single word since they had seen Sam. Dean knew that he should say something, tell him that it wasn't his fault but he couldn't because, as much as he blamed himself for listening to Agnes and staying, a little bit of him wanted to take his father and bang his face off the wall until it bled for taking Sam on the hunt without him and for letting him get hurt.

Finally the doctor came back out the room, his face grim.

Dean swallowed, wet his lips and asked the question. "How is he doing?"

"His blood pressure has dropped again and although the infection has slowed a little it's still spreading. I don't think that we can stop it, not without knowing what it is."

Dean stood quietly for a moment not really sure what to ask next and a little surprised that John hadn't at least had a question or two of his own.

The doctor broke the silence. "You can go back in now if you like, the nurses have finished with him."

"Thanks." Dean crossed the corridor and grabbed the wheelchair while the doctor moved round him, unhooked the IV bag and handed it to John to keep it upright. They moved back into the room and got John settled then the doctor took his leave of them.

Dean walked round and picked up his jacket that he'd left in the room finally getting a reaction from his father. "Where are you going?"

"I need to make a call and then I'm going to find this thing and finish it." He took his brother's hand and lent in. "Don't you go anywhere until I get back, d'you hear me?"

"You're gonna call her aren't you?" There was a little bitter tone in John's voice as he spoke. "St. Agnes."

"She might be able to help like she did with me. It worth a shot at least."

"I'm coming with you then, we'll go hunt this thing down together. I can't do anything here. We've got at least four or five hours until daylight, plenty of time to hand it it's ass on a plate." He made to push himself up but Dean was quicker round the bed.

"Someone has to stay with Sam. I'm going on my own."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, I am. Call me if he wakes up or there is any change….and made sure that you do it this time." Dean turned on his heel and left the room, knowing that John would try to follow him the minute he was on the road.

He flicked open the phone as he headed down the stairs. He didn't want to ask Agnes for any more favours, hell she had done enough to them but this was Sam and he was out of options.

She answered on the second ring. "Dean. Did you find them?"

"Sam's hurt." He was surprised at the tremble in his voice as he spoke to her.

"Bad?"

"He got bitten."

"What was it?"

"Looks like it was a werewolf."

"Oh God, Dean…I'm sorry."

Dean wiped at his face and tried to keep a lid on the emotions that suddenly flooded him at the sound of her voice. "I'm going back for a look see. He's got an infection that he can't seem to fight, and his arm's a mess. It crushed his collar bone." He pulled the phone away as the little sob made a break for freedom.

"Dean, Jim is in Greyton someplace. Call him. Please? Take him with you."

_And get someone else hurt? _"Ok." He lied to her.

"Dean!" She knew that he was going to do this on his own.

"Sam's at the county hospital. It's called Parkview." He realised then that she was in the car. "Where are you?"

"About twenty minutes or so from you. Dean, I'll do what I can. Promise me that you'll be careful?"

"Always. I need to go." He closed the phone on her before she could reply and he headed out to the carpark.

Locating John's truck first and making sure that it was in good order he walked over to the Impala. "Sorry baby, but your tyres cost less and they're easier to replace." He drew his knife from his jacket and slashed all four of her tyres just for good measure, trying not to think of the damage that he was doing to the rims. With that he turned back to the truck and with a little smile pulled his dad's keys and wallet that he had lifted from his jacket. "Let's see you follow me now."

---

Jim got to the hospital just in time to find an irate John standing at a vandalised Impala.

John's surprise turned to a pleased smile. Now he could kill two birds with one stone. "Give me your keys." He held out his hand.

"Nice to see you too John." Jim crossed his arms. "Why would I want to give you my keys?"

John sighed irritably. "Because Dean has gone to hunt this thing down on his own and I want to go help him."

"Shouldn't you be sitting with your other son in case he wakes up?"

"Did Dean call you?" John was still standing with his hand out expectantly.

"No Agnes did, Dean called her. Would have been nice, after all I've done for you guys in the last few weeks, if someone had had the decency to call me." Jim turned and walked back to his truck.

"What are you doing?" John stepped forward as Jim climbed in and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

"I'm going to go help Dean and you are going to go sit with Sam, like you should be doing, after all, this is all your mess John. Besides you're hurt." Jim gestured to John's shoulder. "Where's Dean gone?"

John death glared him.

"Doesn't work on me John, I'm immune. Now where did Dean go?"

John knew that Jim wasn't going to budge. He resisted the urge to just punch his friend out and take the truck. He caused enough problems tonight without adding to the list. He gave him the directions.

"Thank you. Now get your ass back in there, Agnes will be here soon and then you're really going to be in the shit John."

John watched as Jim drove away, growled to himself and then marched back upstairs to sit with his son. A little bit of him was annoyed that he wasn't with Dean, that his son was walking into something that he couldn't possibly be in the right frame of mind to deal with but he was soothed somewhat by the fact that at least now Jim was with him.

Jim was a good hunter, solid and dependable, he was just what Dean needed at the moment. Someone to have his back.

---

Dean parked the truck up and check the clip on the Glock that he had chosen to carry this time even though he knew that it was silver bullets that were in it. He chosen the Glock because it was darker that his usual gun, he didn't want the creature running off again at the sight of a gun in his hand.

He wanted it dead.

He switched his small ankle knife for a little silver dagger and took the silver knife that he had in his jacket pocket and slid it into the sheath that he then tied to his leg. The doctor had given him a local in his injured leg and he was grateful for it, it taking the edge off the pain that had been niggling him all night.

"Ok, let's do this." He switched on the flashlight, flicked the safety off the gun and stepped in to the woods. He wasn't quiet, he didn't want to hide from it, he wanted to draw it to him.

A couple of times he stopped, thinking he'd heard something, then he would slowly move on again, flashing the light from side to side, lighting up the forest around him. He stopped again when he came to the clearing.

"Where are you, you sonuvabitch?"

Worry filled him that they had left it too late and it would be gone.

He stepped out into the open.

"Hey! Come on you freakin' coward. Come and get some!" His voice carried round again like the last time and he listened and then smiled as the forest started to go quite round about him. "That's it, come to papa."

Hiding the gun down by his side he circled slowly round, flashing the light round too as he turned. He was on his second circle when the light picked up a little glint of red moving in the trees off to his right. He kept circling not wanting it to know that he had seen it but moving closer as he increased the circumference of the circle he was making.

He could have taken a shot at it from here but he couldn't risk missing it or it leaving again at the sound of the gunshot.

He needed it to come to him.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" He spoke softly, watching the trees, listening for the slightest noise that would tell him that it was coming for him.

It was as he turned his back on it for a third time that he heard it move. Swinging back round he was shocked at how fast it had covered the ground, quicker than he could ever have thought possible. He couldn't get a shot off so he dropped the gun and raised the flashlight across his face just as it leapt for him, it bit down on the hard plastic, its momentum knocking Dean on his back. He stared up into the red tinged eyes and he could see the intelligence in them even as the thing drooled on him like a rabid dog. It dug it's claws into his side, pulling a cry of pain from him and then it moved its….he wasn't sure that paws was the right word…..over his shoulders and at that moment he could have sworn that it smiled at him, before it dug its long claws into the flesh there just enough to hurt.

If it had expected him to let go of the flashlight it was mistaken, it only managed to make him mad.

He did the only thing he could, he brought his head forward and pulled his arms in, bringing it to him and connecting his head sharply with its own, smiling himself at the little howl of pain that it let out. It sat back but didn't let go of the light so he was dragged forward even as his shoulders were still pinned from its claws. Letting out his own scream of pain, he pushed up with his hands and got his feet into the gap between them and kicked it off him, trying not to pass out as the claws that were still hooked in his shoulder tore free. He lost the light as it went with it, still stuck in its jaws.

"Sonuvabitch!" He pulled the knife and turned, trying to scramble to get to his feet, almost managing it before it flattened him again, this time on his front. He could feel its breath on his neck, the weight of its foot in the centre of his back. Twisting his arm round, he stabbed out with the knife and felt a little jolt of satisfaction when it connected with something solid and the weight on his back eased. Losing his grip on the knife he arched, trying to buck it off, almost managing it before it righted itself and pinned him back down.

It lifted it's head and let out a long low howl of satisfaction and then he felt it nuzzle the back of his neck. Frantically searching with his fingers to try and find his gun he cringed inwardly as it licked him, it's tongue rough against his skin and little growl escaping as it nosed into him again.

"Just do it already."

It stopped when he spoke, pushing his head round further to give it access to his throat, the coarse hair on its face scratching at his skin as it sniffed at him. He felt a brief little flare of panic as it pushed his head back into the muck and then it had grabbed his jacket collar and was dragging him across the clearing.

_There's been blood found each time but no bodies._ Sam's voice in his head, he'd been telling him about the research that he'd done on this thing. _It's got a lair, it takes them someplace. _He tried to dig in then, slow its progress, feeling as the collar on his jacket started to give, wondering why it hadn't just taken a limb and used that to drag him off with.

They were halfway across the clearing, Dean trying to reach the dagger at his ankle, when the shot rang out. The thing above him jerked and then let go its hold on him. A second shot rang out and it was moving away from him, trying to get to the forest and away.

"Oh no you don't." He willed himself to his feet and grabbing the dagger stumbled after it.

"Dean, get down!" He dropped, his training meaning that he instantly obeyed the command. Two more shots rang out and the creature collapsed. There was someone beside him then, pulling him to his feet.

"Are you ok?"

Dean turned to look into the concerned eyes of Pastor Jim. "Jim? How? When?"

"I left just after you did, thought you might need me, although I was thinking more along the lines of a mediator rather than a marksman."

Dean smiled his thanks and Jim helped him to his feet and they walked over to the fallen figure, taking a step back as it groaned. He motioned for Jim's gun. "It's not dead."

Putting a boot to it's side he rolled it over and it stared at him with it's haunting red eyes, a final little growl of defiance escaping it. Dean levelled the gun at it's head and pulled the trigger. Then he put one through it's heart.

He stood there holding his breath as he watched, willing what he was seeing not to be happening. He turned to Jim but the pain in the older man's eyes mirrored his own and he knew it was real. Dean felt the numbness creep through him.

Turning back they watched in silence as the light smattering of fur disappeared and the elongated hands, feet and face returned to normal. It's skin glowed palely in the last of the moonlight.

It was a boy, probably no older than Dean was himself.

Dean wiped at his face and knelt beside it, pulling two plastic syringes from his jacket as he did. He stuck them into one of its wounds and filled them with its blood.

"What are you doing?" Jim crouched down behind him.

"The doctor said if we had some of its blood he might be able to find a way to fight the infection that Sammy's got."

Jim touched his shoulder. "Dean. Even if they make him better, it's a werewolf. It bit him. You know what that means."

Dean turned, his eyes full of pain. "Maybe there's something in the blood that'll help?"

"Dean." Jim hated to be the voice of reason here. They both stood.

"I know Jim. Sam's screwed and I'm probably going to have to put my brother down the way that I just put this down, but shouldn't we at least try to save him before we just give up?"

Jim nodded. "Yes, you're right, we should. Now, let's get you back to the trucks and have a look at these wounds…."

"No. Just take me back to the hospital they can patch me up there, I need to get this to Sam's doctor and I need to speak to Agnes."

Jim helped Dean back to the truck and then they started back to the hospital. Dean was quiet, leaning up against the windows, his eyes closed, but Jim knew that he wasn't sleeping.

Worry filled his heart almost as much for the Winchester that was sitting next to him as it was for the one back at the hospital.

And then, he thought, there was still John to deal with as well.

He sighed. It was going to be a long day.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Oh well that isn't good is it? *laughs evilly*

Never fear I have a plan, and this is all going somewhere I promise!! lol

The cliffie's will stop soon I promise that too!

Thanks Mary xx


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Thank you for the lovely reviews of the last chapter and yep, it was a werewolf! Now Agnes finds out something very bad but that she can use to help Sam. Enjoy, Mary x

WARNING: there is a spoiler in this chapter for 4.03, just a little one but still it's there!

Reach out and I'll be there

"Well Mr. Winchester, you've really screwed it up this time eh?" Agnes shrugged off her jacket, threw it on the bed and grabbed Sam's chart. She flicked it open as she spoke. "You know, I don't get it, you fall out with your son over going to college because it's not safe and then you take him out on a hunt that you know he wasn't read for."

"It got the jump on us. It wouldn't have mattered if he was ready or not." John refused to look at her, never taking his eyes off Sam.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference but it sure wouldn't have hurt. Then again if you had done like you said you would and called Dean, waited for him, we might not be having this conversation at all."

He finally brought his head up to look at her. "I have reasons for not wanting Sam to go to college, but they're my reasons and I don't have to explain them to anyone, least of all you!" His voice was raised slightly but he was fighting to keep it under control. "And I don't have to explain my decisions to you either and going on this hunt was my decision."

"You're right John it was and you don't, but if you don't at least try to make _them_ understand why everything is such a big deal to you, you might lose them both. If something happens to Sam….."

He snorted at her. "If you hadn't guilt tripped Dean into staying to help that boy then he would have been with us in the first place."

"If you hadn't tried to use taking Sam on the hunt to guilt trip him into following you we wouldn't be sitting here now."

"That's not why I did it. We have a job to do. Hunting is our job. Mine's, Dean's and Sam's."

"Think Sam missed that memo. And I didn't guilt trip Dean into staying." She paused not really sure that it was her place to say to John. She couldn't stop herself. "I offered Dean a job at the clinic. If he wants to, he can stay."

"You what!" John stood, pulled the IV and rounded the bed to her side. "Why? What did I ever do to you to deserve you trying to take my sons from me?"

Agnes sighed and shook her head at him. "I'm not trying to take them away John, Sam was leaving you anyway." She put her hands up to his face. "Dean's tired John, don't you see that? He's twenty going on forty. You keep pushing him as hard as you're doing and he's going to break. Beleieve me I know. Maybe not today John, but eventually it'll all just get to be too much. If you were just able to feel what I did when I was healing him John." She dropped her hands and turned back to Sam, busying herself by checking his monitors again. "I just wanted to give him something that he hasn't had in his life so far….an option. A chance to see that he could do something different with his life other than hunting. That he's good for something else. I really don't think for a moment that he'll take it but I had to offer it to him." She turned back to him. "I had to."

"Why?"

"I can't explain it John, but shouldn't you be thankful that it's the chance for your sons to change their lives for the better that's on offer for once, and not question my motives? You should know better than anyone John, that one single decision, one single event can change your life for the worst even without you wanting it to. Look at what's happened to your family even just in the last few weeks. Do you think your luck where they're concerned is going last forever? Wouldn't you rather they left than you lost them?"

John sighed, a deep, heartfelt, broken sigh. "I don't know anymore Agnes. There are things you don't know. That no one knows." She stared at him as he walked back round the bed and collapsed in the chair. "Can you help Sammy?"

She bit back whatever question was playing on her lips and drew a deep breath. "Was it a werewolf?" She gently started to loosen off the bandages over Sam's shoulder, not missing the black lines on his skin as she did.

"We think so, Dean's out there now."

"Did he call Jim?"

"No, but he turned up here and I sent him out after him."

"That's good. Dean mentioned an infection?"

"Yeah, Doctor doesn't know what though. Any ideas?" She had to look away from the hopeful look in his eye.

"Could be a relative of some sort of canine disease, the wolf's closely linked to the dog. I can try to help his body fight it off but the best bet is to be able to treat it. We need to know for sure what it is to do that."

"What about the other thing?" His voice was hesitant as he spoke and he squeezed Sam's hand as he asked.

"Other thing?"

"The bite….if it is a werewolf can you do anything with it?" There was that hopefulness again. The hopefulness that she was going to stomp on.

Agnes stilled. "Honestly? I don't know. I've never tried to do something like that. I've sent Julie-Anne down to the canteen with a laptop, see she if she can't come up with something. But John, I never heard of it being done."

"Just because it hasn't, doesn't mean that it can't."

"No, it doesn't. I'm with you there." She had freed enough of Sam's shoulder now and she steadied herself, giving John a little reassuring smile before she rested her hands on his son's skin. Agnes lasted less than a minute before she had to pull back sharply. "What the hell?" She stood looking at her hands, almost as if touching Sam had burnt her.

"What is it? What happened?" John was round at her side, hand on her back, steadying her as she swayed.

Looking at John briefly, confusion on her face, she carefully placed just one hand on Sam's skin before she hissed and pulled back. "It's a werewolf alright, but there's something else there….I don't know……it might just be the werewolf taking hold." She touched her hands to him again and pulled back just as quickly. "No it's not …..it's……it's….." She turned to John. "The werewolf, did you see it's eyes?"

She could feel the little edge of fear in John. "Yeah, why?

"What colour was it's eyes?"

She felt John stiffen beside her and he swallowed hard. "Why do you ask?"

"Because when I touch your son all I can see is yellow and a feeling of something bad….very bad." Agnes rubbed at her hands as if they were dirty.

"About that."

She looked up at the tone in his voice, watching as he took Sam's hand and gently brushed his son's hair off his face.

"John? _What_ aren't you telling me?"

"Remember I told you I had a reason for not wanting Sam to leave and go to college?"

She glared at him. "Yes?"

"I think you just found it."

---

She sat in silence listening to the story, bits of which she already knew from Dean. The fire, Mary dying, John hunting down the thing that killed her. Then he told her the thing that she didn't know, the thing that he had found out a year ago. The special children, tainted with the demon's blood, the parents that had made deals with the thing that didn't know at the time what they were agreeing to. How Mary had made a deal for him.

"Sam is one of these kids? Does he know? Does Dean know?" She couldn't believe that John thought it was ok not to tell his sons about this.

"Yes, no and no, and I don't aim to tell them, not yet anyway."

Agnes could feel the light bulb switch on in her head. "That's why you push Dean so hard, why you've made him feel almost obliged to look out for his little brother?"

"It's part of it."

"Jesus John. That's a pretty big secret to be holding back from them."

"I know, but I can't tell them, not until I know what he intends to do with the children, what his end game is."

They sat in silence for a minute or two until John broke it. "Can you still help him?"

Agnes smiled but it was a strange, strained smile. "Oh, I think we can do better than that. I think that we might be able to get him to help himself. I have one reservation though."

"How and what reservation?"

"Who do you think would win between a demon and a werewolf?"

"Demon?" John wasn't sure.

"Damn straight. There is evil and then there is evil and this thing in Sam……I can call it through and it can probably finish off our furry friend's genes but I'll have to tap a resource that I haven't use in a very long time and for a very good reason, and if I call it and I can't control it or me…..we might just be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. And there is one other thing that you aren't going to like."

John sighed. "What?"

"I might need someone that can reach Sam and pull him back into control when we've killed off the wolf in him, someone that he'll listen to."

"Can't it be me?" John knew where this was going and he sounded desperate. "Couldn't I do it?"

"No. Sorry. You're connection isn't strong enough, there's too much static between you and Sam, I would rather it was you John, believe me, he's been through enough, but it can't be. It has to be him."

"Dean."

"Dean."

-------

Agnes had went slightly ballistic when she'd seen the state of him, her cry of 'what the hell happened to you' was probably heard three counties away. She had cursed his stupidity for going alone, berated Jim for not getting there quicker and then had a go at John for letting him go in the first place. Dean was quite convinced at one point that she was going to have a go at Sam too, but his sleeping brother was the only male to escape her wrath. She had let him stop long enough only to hand the syringes to the doctor before she dragged him into his brother's room again.

Dean was sitting now on the end of his brother's bed getting the wounds in his side and his shoulders dealt with by Julie-Anne. She gently cleansed the shallow ones and stitched a couple of the deeper ones, all the time admonishing him again for not being more careful. He gave her a little half-grin but he was distracted by the sight of his brother still lying unconscious in the bed. She reached up and gently touched his face. "Hey, if anyone can fix this, it'd be mom. Stop worrying until it time to worry and we don't have anything else left to try. Ok?"

He lent down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm glad you're here."

"No place I'd rather be." She finished up her ministrations and they both looked over to John and Agnes who were huddled in the corner over a book. "What do you think that they are up to anyway?"

"No idea, but it better be something to sort this or there'll be hell to pay." Dean slowly lowered himself off the bed and walked round to his brother, sitting down in the chair next to it.

"I'll give you a minute." She wrapped her arms briefly round his shoulders, mindful of his injuries and placed a small kiss to the top of his head. "If you need me I'll be right outside."

"Thanks." She drifted off and he turned back to speak to his brother, keeping his voice low, mindful that Agnes and John were still in the room. He lent forward and placed his hand over Sam's, thinking of the number of times he had woken up to find the roles reversed, how many times his brother had been the one sat in the chair. He sighed deeply and ran his fingers lightly over the back of Sam's hand "I get it now Sammy, I know why you want to leave and I know why you want me to go with you." He wiped at the little drop of moisture on his face. "Just open your eyes for me Sam, please? We'll deal with everything else from there, I just need you to open your eyes." He studied his brother for any flicker that might signal that he could hear him but there was nothing. "I feel so friggin' useless Sammy just sitting here, I should be doing something to fix this."

He jumped as a hand touched his shoulder, extracting a little hiss of pain from him. "Sorry." Agnes moved her hand to his arm. "If you want to do something to fix this then I think I may have a job for you."

----

"How are your shoulders? Are they hurting? Did you ask the doctor for anything?" Dean and Agnes were now sitting, side by side, in the hospital room on their own. Agnes had spoken to Sam's doctor and the nurses on the floor and they were happy for now for Agnes to monitor the sleeping Winchester and see to his needs. If they had known what she was going to do then they might not have been so content to leave him in her care.

"They're fine. Julie-Anne did a great job patching them and the doctor gave me a little something to take off the edge. What are we doing here?" He looked round the room at the dark cloths that Agnes had hung over the window and the two black pillar candles that sat on the trolley table at Sam's feet.

"I'll do a healing session with you later, once I've done this. I'm going to need all my juice if we're going to do this." She took his hand. "I'll be honest with you, I don't know if this will work but even if it does I'm probably going to need your help to get Sam to open his eyes."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I'm going to perform a summoning ritual….." …..she held up a hand to silence his obvious question…… "…….don't ask me what for, you don't want to know. If this works, what I summon should get rid of the werewolf in your brother. When I've done that I need you to try and call Sam back to us. Just a touch and a call of his name until he responds." She gave him a small smile. "Now the don'ts, and the first one would be don't hate me for what happens when I call this thing to me, it's a long time since I used any of the powers that I'm going to call on now so……"

Dean interrupted her. "You don't have to do this for Sam, you've done enough for us all already. If it's that risky, we can always see if there is another way first."

Agnes laughed a small laugh and put her head to his. "You don't get it do you? I'm not doing this for Sam, I'm doing it for you."

"For me?" She wanted to laugh again at the surprise in his voice.

"For you."

"Why?"

"Because I see you as my friend now Dean, and I know how much this is ripping you apart, seeing your brother lying here like this, knowing that there's really nothing you can do to save him on your own. Besides I feel a little guilty as well, if I hadn't asked you to stay…."

"This is not your fault, I don't want you to help because you feel you have to."

Agnes touched his face. "Dean, if I called you and I needed you, you would come, no matter what it cost you, you would be there for me. That kind of loyalty and friendship should always be a two way street. Besides, he's a brat, but I kinda like your brother too."

She was rewarded with a soft laugh and she sat back. "Now. Two simple rules and I want you to listen very carefully here. What I bring through may look for a way to channel itself into one of us, I can't let it be you. I need you to pull Sam back so no touching him until I tell you, no matter what happens or how bad it gets; and I need you to sit with your eyes closed until I tell you it's ok to open them. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah. No touching and eyes closed until you say."

"Promise me." She caught his hands and made him look her in the eye. "It's important."

"I promise." With that she knew he would.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Have I built up enough worry in you about the ritual? I wouldn't let anything go wrong…would I? It is time to play nice for once, isn't it?

Will update soon! Mary xx


	31. Chapter 31

This chapter was suppose to have Agnes doing the ritual in it but it ended up way too long so I have split it, there is a little of Agnes back story in this and then the next chapter will have her and Dean trying to save Sam in it.

Walked This Way Before

Agnes stepped out of the room for a minute to talk to John, Jim and her daughter, telling them all that no matter what happened or what they heard they were not going to get into the room until either herself or Dean let them in.

Julie-Anne looked at her mother with concern filling her eyes. "Are you sure that you're up to this, that you really want to do _this_?"

Agnes smiled and touched her hand to her daughter's face. "I'll be careful, I promise. It won't be that bad. Don't worry."

"I can come in too, I can help you."

Julie-Anne's tone wasn't begging but it was close to it and Agnes saw John throwing them a look and then talking to Jim. She tried to calm her daughter down. "I don't want you in there when I'm doing this."

"But I can…."

"No!" Agnes' tone was sharper than she meant it to be and it caused all three of them to look at her. She took a deep breath. "No. It'll be fine. I don't need you in there."

Julie-Anne though wasn't going to be swayed easily. "But Dean is going to be in there with you." She took her mother's hand. "I'll be more use to you if something goes wrong, I can help you."

"Dean'll manage. Besides the only help that I'll need is to reach Sam and only Dean can do that."

"What exactly are you going to do?" John had walked up and was eating into her now with his stare, his concern spiked by Julie-Anne's, fear and hope vying in his eyes. "How exactly are you going to save Sam?"

Agnes sighed and pulled John aside. "I told you. I'm going to awaken the wolf that's inside him now…."

"You can do that? Reach into him and make the werewolf come out?"

"Yes, I can, it won't have a choice but to show itself to me. Then I'm going to summon your demon friend, bring it to us. It'll want the werewolf gone, believe me, things like the one you're chasing, the one that's blood is in your son…..they rarely like to share. That is the only really dangerous part."

"Why?"

"Well, if it's stronger than I am, I might not be able to banish it back to what it was before, I need to let it feed on my power to manifest itself, which lets it get a little grip on me. I'll be using a rather dark magic to do it too, so if I can't control that and the demon gets a hold of what I'll be channelling…well the werewolf might be the least of our worries. My other small concern is that I haven't used this power in a very long time, and I have to be careful how far I let myself get lost in it, it's like a drug, a little taste and you'll want more. I can't afford to let myself get to that stage or I might not be able to pull back."

"So if Sam survives the werewolf he might still get taken out by the demon or you. That's not very reassuring, especially as Dean is in there too. I want to come in, sit with Dean." John made to walk towards the door and Agnes pulled him back.

"Absolutely not. If this thing goes pear-shaped the less collateral damage there is the better, besides I will do everything in my power to look after your sons so I expect you to do the same for me with my daughter."

John shrugged her off but he didn't walk away. "What?"

"If something does go wrong here I want you to make sure that you get Julie-Anne away for me. Promise me that you'll do that?"

John turned to look at Julie-Anne then looked back to Agnes. "I promise. If something goes wrong, I'll make sure that she gets out."

Agnes took his hand. "Nothing is going to go wrong this time. I will get this sorted for you John. I can do this. I wouldn't have offered to help otherwise."

"I know you can." John smiled at her and then a thoughtful look crossed his face. "How long is it since you last dabbled in this kind of magic Agnes?"

She laughed at that and moved in closer, leaning into him and resting her head against his. "John, this kind of magic isn't something that you dabble in. It has to be an all or nothing approach. You either use it or you don't, normally I don't. If you dabble, it burns you."

"So, to use your words….what happens if things do go pear-shaped? Can you still get Sam and Dean out?"

Agnes pulled back. "John, to tell you like it is…..Sam's screwed. He's been bitten by a werewolf and he has demon blood in him. I can't really see what harm I can do to him by trying this. As for Dean, he'll be fine as long as he does what he's told." She turned to walk away but he stopped her.

"You said this time earlier. Have you ever done anything like this before? Used your magic like this?"

She knew he would have to ask but she had hoped that he wouldn't. "Once, like this."

"And?"

She played with the bracelet on her wrist, not looking at him. "This belonged to my sister, Anne. She was younger than me and I had left her with my mother. I wanted out, didn't want to do the things that my mother was making me do, didn't want to end up the kind of witch that she was. I was trying to get a place for us, Anne and me, get a job so that I could support us and get Anne away from her too. I was seventeen and she was only ten, but I didn't want to use my powers to get things for us. Pride will be the death of us all, eh?"

She paused to wipe at her face. "Before I could get back for her my mother took her with her to do a ritual, used her in it. They were indoctrinating another girl into the fold, giving her her stripes so to speak. They invoked a spirit, a nasty one, which instead of giving this girl her powers……to cut a long story short, it got out and possessed my sister. My mother called me for my help, so I came. We performed what you might call an exorcism, but it involved more than just that."

John watched as Agnes' face changed, as she drifted inwards towards what were obviously painful memories. "What happened?"

Agnes rubbed the back of her thumb across her brow. "Anne wasn't strong enough to fight the spirit off and I lost my grip on it. It killed her before I could get it out. It wasn't pretty or quick."

John kept a calmness in his voice that he was no longer feeling. "So what will be different this time? Can you guarantee that you won't lose your grip again, that we won't lose Sam with it?"

Agnes gave him a cold, hard stare which made him step back. "I'm a witch, not a performing seal so no, I can't give you guarantees John. All I can tell you is that the young woman that I was then, the one that lost her sister, never got over it and she wasn't half the witch that I am now."

John could feel the change in air around them as Agnes' feeling fuelled something inside her.

"I spent a year hunting that spirit down John, you know how that feels, the need for revenge that blots everything else out? A year with my mother, honing my skills, learning all the things that before I had never wanted to know. Did things that I never wanted to do."

"Did you find it?"

Agnes' smiled had a cruel edge to it that John had never seen before. "Oh, I found it. Vengeance is a very power force and I used it to it's fullest. It's dead….let's just leave it at that. I killed it and then I got out. This time I'm going to let your demon do the dirty work for me and then I'm going to put it back in it's box for now and no, before you ask…..I can summon more than just the part that is in Sam, but I wont."

"Why not?" John was annoyed that she had read his thoughts so easily and that she wouldn't help him end this here.

"This is about saving Sam, here and now, not in the future. That's another fight that you're not ready to face yet, and your boys aren't ready for it either, not just now." She touched John's arm again. "They're sure as hell not ready to lose the father yet, so no I won't help you get your revenge John, not when it's cost Sam and Dean so much already."

"But I could finish it here…..end this."

"No, you couldn't. It's too strong for you and I can't help you, not with that. That's a step that I'm not willing to take again John, not ever. I can summon and banish it back from within your son but I will not help you kill it. I can't go there again." With that she turned away and went back into the room, using a charm to seal the door shut behind her.

She turned, leaning against the door and watched Dean raise an eyebrow at her. "So, you're locking us in then?"

"Yep. No cavalry in this charge." She walked towards him and stood next to him. "So you ready for this?"

"Yeah, whatever you want me to do." He looked calm but she could almost taste the worry and the fear in him. She touched his arm.

"The door can only be opened from the inside, so you can get out if you need to or I tell you to, but they can't get in unless we let them. I really would rather have you on that side of the door as well…."

"I'm not leaving my brother." His face was grim, determined.

"…..if you'd let me finish…..but I don't have a choice so I want you to be very careful and to do exactly as I ask." She slide her hand up and tilted his head towards her. "That alright with you?"

"I will, I promised you didn't I?"

Agnes softened a little. "I know you did, and I know that you'll try to keep that promise but this is your brother, and I also know how hard it will be to keep that promise if you think that something is going wrong."

There was a little flash of a grin on his face. "Well, we just won't let it go wrong then."

She shook her head at him and put her hands on her hips. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Help me get my brother back. I'll do as you ask me, when you ask me."

"One thing before we do this." She walked round to the other side of the bed and disconnected and powered down the monitors as she spoke. "When did you find time to call Paul and let him know that your brother was hurt?"

He looked at her. "How'd you know about that?"

"I called him when I got here and realised that we probably wouldn't be back by tomorrow….." She looked at her watch. "…….or should that be today."

"I phoned him on the way to hunt down the werewolf. I didn't want him to think that I just wasn't bothered, that I'd forgotten him when I didn't show for the next few days….I wasn't expecting you to do this, I wasn't expecting to be able to get back to see him."

She smiled across at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just that when I think that you can't do anything else to surprise me, you do, and then I realise that I really shouldn't be surprised at all."

She lit the candles at the bottom of Sam's bed, walked over and flicked off the lights and then came back and lowered the bed to be level with Dean as he sat beside it.

"Right." She took a seat opposite him and then nodded at him. He lent forward, whispered something in his brother's ear and then sat back, folding his arms as he did. He nodded back to Agnes and closed his eyes.

Taking a deep breath she played with the bracelet on her arm to calm herself before she took Sam's hand and touched a hand to his head.

Then she began to speak in Latin.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Hope you liked, next chapter should be up soon.

Cheers Mary xx


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

So Agnes was going to use the YED to get rid of Sam's need to howl at the moon...does it work....read on!

-

Careful what you wish for

It had been such a long time since Agnes had done anything like this, the little doubt that she should be doing this was tugging at her as she spoke to Dean, even as she readied herself for the onslaught that she knew her body and mind was about to suffer.

She started the first part of the ritual, stumbling at first over the Latin until her brain took a back seat and the thing that she was deep inside flexed itself and took over. Once she got started it was like riding a bike and she quickly got a hold on the thing that she was calling forth.

The words started to flow from her mouth and she could feel it as the atmosphere in the room became oppressive with the power that she was calling on filling it and chilling the air inside.

Opening her eyes she looked across at Dean, sitting there with worry written on every line in his face but trust in her keeping his eyes closed and his arms in place, folded loosely across his chest. She hoped that his trust would not be misplaced.

She felt the wolf as it started to respond to her calling, the virus in Sam's blood stirring as she summoned it forth, it unable to resist the darkness of her. She felt the change in Sam's skin under her hand, the smooth plain of his forehead morphing into the coarse hair of the creature that lurked within him. His hand gripped hers tightly, long nails breaking the skin and she looked down as his eyes opened, the red in them almost luminous in the poor light of the room.

It let out a low growl as it locked eyes with her, sensing the danger that she represented to it, the knowledge that the hand that gripped its own was capable of taking its life without even being raised in anger but realising too that its death, and with that the death of its host, was not her intention, not at her own hands anyway.

Sitting up it surveyed her, leaning in before a scent caught its attention and it turned to stare at the man before it. A hunter. The host's kin. The smell of the death of another of it kind still lingered on him, its own kin brought down by his hand. Growling it moved towards him.

---

It didn't take long before Dean could feel the change in the atmosphere in the room, the temperature falling as quickly as his own heartbeat was increasing, his own nerves starting to jangle at the oppressive feeling in the air. He tensed as he heard the low growl, realising that his brother had sat up and that the noise was very close to his face. Warm breath ghosted over his skin and he shivered as what felt like coarse fur brushed his cheek.

"Hey!" Agnes' voice drew it away from him and Dean had to fight the urge to open his eyes to check where Sam was, resisting the need to check if his brother had really fully transformed.

---

The hunter's blood was a match for that which it could feel coursing through the one that was its host, and it smiled. An evil, toothed grin. If it was going to die it wanted to take the hunter with it. An eye for an eye.

The witch it seemed though had other plans. It wasn't alone in this host and as it turned at her call it whined low in its throat. The werewolf felt it as the witch summoned something from deep within the man that it was part of, something else that wanted to stake its claim to the flesh and the blood, something so old and so evil that it couldn't hold back the howl of fear and pain that rose in it.

---

Dean heard Agnes recite something else in Latin, too quickly for him to pick up all the meaning and then there was a low howl of pain as whatever Agnes was doing now started to force the wolf in his brother into submission. The feeling in the room darkened further and Dean's head started to hurt, a feeling of nausea sweeping over him that he had to fight down. It was so cold in the room now that he could feel it seeping into his bones, chilling him to the core and he had to fight again against the need to open his eyes and see whatever danger was in the room with him, the danger that was making the hunter in him scream it's alarm and his whole being to shake with cold and fear.

---

Agnes had never quite felt anything like it, the power in this demon was one that she hadn't come across before and for a moment she struggled to get it fully under her control. The thing was in her head, talking to her, goading her as to why it would want to save Sam. Sam himself lent into her, eyes golden now in the dull light, casting Dean a quick glance as he did. "He doesn't know, does he? Maybe I should save his brother and then tell him."

"You need Sam, you're going to save him whether we want you to or not, so why don't you just get on with it and stop screwing around with me….and leave him out of it." Agnes kept her voice to a whisper, not wanting Dean to hear.

"You're rude, besides I've already done what you asked, can't have Sam here turning into the family pet, that would never do, 'cos then Dean would have to kill him and then I'd have to kill Dean and probably John too for screwing up my plans. It would all get very messy." Sam shook his head at her and gripped her arm, twisting it hard, pulling a little cry of pain from her.

"Agnes? You alright?" It was Dean.

"I'm fine, just sit there Dean, don't move." She watched as Sam turned to look at Dean.

He turned back to her, a cruel smile on his face. "You care about him, don't you? Do you know what it's going to do to him when he finds out that his brother's something a lot worse than just a common and garden werewolf? That no matter what he does he can't save him? Think I should tell him now?"

"Don't, I wont let you."

"Think you can stop me?" He turned and leaned across the bed towards Dean.

---

"Dean Winchester." It was Sam's voice but Dean knew that it wasn't his brother that was speaking his name, it was whatever Agnes had summoned to kill off the wolf inside of him and he had a sickening feeling that he knew what this demon was. He felt the touch to his arm and tried to recoil back from it but the grip tightened and he wasn't proud of the whimper of fear that it dragged from him. "Are you here to help save your little brother from the big, bad wolf inside him?" It sniggered at his ear. "If only you knew what I do, ever wondered why daddy doesn't want little Sammy to fly the coop?"

Agnes' voice cut through the air once again, commanding and forceful this time. "Leave him alone. You've done what was needed so I think it's time you went back in the box."

There was that snigger again. "Does John know what you're doing? What you've got in this room with his two boys? Isn't he going to pop in and say hi? We could have a little family reunion?"

"I said it's time to leave, or I'll make you leave."

"Do you really think that a second rate kitchen witch can order something like me around?" Dean couldn't see but he felt himself dragged onto the bed, it grip painful on his wrist, as it leaned over next to Agnes. "Besides, we both know, I'm not going anywhere, not really." Dean felt it move closer to him.

Agnes grabbed Sam. "For just now….you are."

"Dean, want to hear a little story about your family and the night your mommy burned up on the ceiling?"

"What do you know about that?" Dean almost gave in and opened his eyes, this thing in his brother was scaring him and he wasn't sure that Agnes was actually the one in charge anymore.

"Shut up or I'll make you." Agnes' voice was closer now.

Sam turned back to her at that with another little snigger. "Well go on then, give it your best shot."

Letting go of Dean he gripped her head in his hands and closed his eyes. Agnes grabbed both his wrists and tried to pull him off her as he started to invade her mind. She felt it as her own power started to build in her, as she unwilling called it into action to defend herself from the attack of the demon that she had awoken inside Sam. Another little cry escaped her as the demon tried to punch it's way through her defences and seize her powers from her, the pain exploding in her head as it did. She staggered back, pulling it with her, not stopping until she was against the wall. It chuckled and pressed in hard against her.

"Is that it? Is that all you've got?" The thing that was inside Sam mocked her, his face pressed up close to hers. She raised her hands and placed them against his chest, unwilling to use the level of power that she knew she now needed but knowing that she really no longer had a choice.

"Get the hell off her." Agnes felt it as Sam was wrenched from her, pulled back and away and she realised that finally Dean had disobeyed. She was in trouble and he had come to try and help her.

Sam twisted in his arms and rammed Dean against the bed, forcing him down onto it as soon as the back of his legs had touched it. "Always so brave Dean, so noble. Now this is interesting, would you really hurt your brother to save the witch?" With one hand on his chest pinning Dean to the bed the demon reached down and pulled the knife from Dean's ankle. Pressing the knife into Dean's hand it smiled at him. "I'm going to kill her and I'm going to make you watch, so what are you going to do to stop me?"

Dean tried to push his brother's weight up and off him but the demon had a better position and more strength than he had and his shoulders were still aching from the fight with the werewolf. He looked up into his brother's eyes and wished that he'd done as Agnes asked as Sam stared back at him.

His eyes were yellow.

_Dean was four years old again and he was watching as the thing stepped from his brother's nursery into the hallway, turning to him, it's yellow eyes glowing in the light from the flames that now flickered in his brother's room._

He pushed harder, not seeing his brother for a moment, just the thing that had killed his mother.

---

"Leave him alone!" She grabbed the demon but it shrugged her off, causing her to lose her footing and fall. She felt it then, her full power finally wrapping round her, like she was slipping on a favourite jacket that she hadn't worn for a long time. Pushing herself off the floor she raised her hand in front of her. "Hey!"

It turned to look at her, sensing the change within her but still with a victorious glint in its eye. "You use that kind of power against me and it isn't going to be pretty for the boy."

"I don't care. You had your chance to just leave, you should have taken it." With that she started forward to the two struggling figures in front of her.

---

"Demons….you're all so sure that you're more powerful than anything else, well how's this for a second rate witch." She touched her hand to Sam's head and he jerked as her power flowed into him, pulling a scream from him and causing him to fall back onto the bed almost on top of his brother, grabbing for him as Agnes forced the demon back down into him.

Agnes' eyes had turned completely black and Dean realised what she was going to do just seconds before she actually did it, didn't have time to warn her that Sam had a grip on his arm that he couldn't free.

Dean heard a clunk and realised that it was the sound of the hospital's emergency generator kicking in just as the pain in him did. Whatever Agnes had just done was enough to fry the mains power and the emergency light flickered on in the room.

As the pain shot through him he marvelled at the fact that the scream that filled his head only manifested itself as a surprised grunt of pain in the real world. He felt as if someone had placed his arm directly into the mains and was now ramping up the volts. Just as he felt he was about to reach critical mass, Sam's fingers slipped from his wrist and onto the bed, letting him roll himself away and try and breath his way through the aftershocks. He must have passed out for just a second or two for he came round to a now gentle touch on his chin, a hand slipping through his hair, turning his head.

It took Agnes a few seconds to calm herself, ease back the juice that was running through her veins and then she realised that Dean was hurt, she could see the red skin on his wrist, the marks of Sam's fingers burnt there by her.

"No." She gently touched him. "Dean? Open your eyes. Please, look at me." Agnes' concerned face floated in front of him as he did. "Where you touching him?"

"Had my wrist…couldn't." He was surprised that he even managed to get that many words out.

"Shit. It's ok, I'm sorry, I didn't realise."

Dean though he could hear shouting outside the door, a pounding on the door but it was faint and he couldn't hear the words.

"Sam….I need to help…."

"In a minute. You first."

"No…Sam….."

"Sam can wait, demon's gone now and your brother isn't going anywhere." She pulled him up and then pulled up his t-shirt, putting her hands on his chest. "This will feel strange but I'll make sure that it doesn't hurt too much."

Dean could feel the heat spreading out from her fingers, stronger and more forceful that it had when she healed him after the hex, the power different somehow, darker but more alive. His skin was alive too, it felt like scores of ants were crawling underneath the surface, taking the warmth and spreading it through him. The heat radiated up to his shoulders and the feeling intensified as it healed his wounds there and took away the last edge of pain in them. Lowering his head he gave a small cry as the ants suddenly seemed to fuse as one, the heat and one short sharp burst of pain surging through him and then disappearing, causing him to slump forward against Agnes.

"It's ok, I've got you."

They sat like that for a few minutes after Agnes had finished, each trying to regain their control in their own way, neither speaking or moving until finally Dean broke the silence."If he hadn't had my hand…that much juice….."

"It would have been ok, Dean but yeah, you deflected some of the heat from your brother." She didn't voice the thought that Dean had probably just saved his brother's life, she hadn't wanted to hit Sam with that much but it had to be done, if the demon had gotten free she could have lost them both.

_You almost did_, her little voice helpfully reminded her.

"Did it work?"

Agnes lifted his head, checked his eyes and then smiled softly at him, knowing he was talking about Sam. "Let's find out." She helped him up, not really happy with the way he needed her support but saying nothing. Settling him back into the seat she went back round, sitting on Sam's bed, taking his hand as she did. "Sam? It's time for you to wake up. Dean's here and he wants you to open your eyes."

Agnes muttered something under her breath, a little Latin chant that caused his brother to jerk and then lie still. Dean cast her a worried glance. She nodded at him and he sat forward and took his brother's other hand, he could feel that she was reaching for Sam too, trying to use her power to waken him.

"Sammy?" He squeezed Sam's fingers gently. "Can you hear me? I need you to wake up now Sam."

He looked up at Agnes and she urged him on. "Keep talking to him."

"Come on Sam, you can do this. I need you to open your eyes." Dean looked for any sign that his brother had heard him but Sam just lay there, motionless.

"Sammy! Open your damn eyes for me. Now!" The movement made him look briefly at Agnes again and she smiled across at him, letting him know that she had seen the small flicker of Sam's eyelids too. Squeezing Sam's hand again, harder this time, Dean called out his name. "Sam!"

He was rewarded with another little half-flicker and then one quiet word from his brother's lips. "Dean?"

Dean let out a relieved little 'huh'. "I'm here little brother, I've got you." Touching his brother's head, he smiled as Sam blinked at him, trying to focus on his face.

"How….you…..here?"

"I'm here. Came when I got your call."

"Told you….not to." Sam's eyes opened fully this time and locked onto Dean's own, fear in them. "Werewolf…..it bit me."

Dean smiled reassuringly at his brother even though he could feel the tears starting to prick the back of his eyes. "Agnes fixed it, you're going to be ok."

"Fixed it?" There was confusion in Sam's eyes and his voice.

"Sssh….I'll explain later, just rest up for now alright?" Dean ran his fingers through his brother's hair and Sam sighed softly and went to close his eyes when it registered.

"Hospital?"

"Yeah, dad brought you in after the attack."

"Why….is….it…..dark?" He realised that all the main lights and the monitors where off in the room.

Agnes herself only realised now that the emergency lights had come on at some point during their little tryst with the demon.

Dean looked at his brother and then back to Agnes. "Power cut. Think the whole hospital is out?"

Agnes laughed. "I think I might have drained the whole state with that last little blast. Guess we'll find out when we go outside."

"Sure felt like it." Dean was watching his brother again as his eyes closed and he drifted off. "Sam?"

Agnes touched Sam's head and smiled. "It's ok. He's just tired." She closed her eyes for a brief second and then spoke. "Wolf's gone, I can't feel it anymore." She didn't mention that she could still feel the demon in his brother's blood, that was something that John should be telling him, not her.

He caught the little look in her eye. "Good." She watched Dean drop his hands from the bed and rub them unconsciously along the tops of his legs.

"What? You want to ask me something?"

He looked up. "Yeah." He paused, looked at Sam again. "Why him?"

Agnes was confused. "What?"

"The demon. Why'd you summon him?"

"I told you we needed a demon to kill off the wolf." Agnes stood and started connecting Sam's monitors again even though she wasn't sure if they would work on the reserve power, just busying herself from Dean's stare.

"You know what I'm talking about. The demon that killed my mother, that was him. Don't even think about lying….I saw his eyes."

Agnes stopped and sighed. "Yes it was him. He has a connection to your family, it was easier to bring him through."

"Uh-huh. So out of all the demons that you could have used to save my brother you just happened to pick the one that destroyed my family and my dad has been hunting down for the last fifteen odd years…….and yet he still helped you save Sam. Why?"

Agnes gave a little snort. "I don't know why…..", it wasn't a lie she told herself, not really, "…but he did and really isn't that all that matters?"

Dean tried to stand but found his legs weren't quite his own, so he dropped back into the chair. When he spoke, his voice soft as he stared at his brother again. "Yeah, it is."

Agnes walked over to the door. "Better let them in before they break down the walls. At least the power going out kept the nurses busy."

She opened the door and came face to face with John.

"Well?" John pushed past her and into the room, stopping at Sam's bedside.

Dean looked up. "It worked. Wolf's gone. Sam's safe. Isn't that right Agnes?"

John looked at his son, the tone in his voice drawing his attention. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Demon put up a bit of a fight is all. Dean got clipped helping as I sent it packing." She gave John a look and he nodded. Whatever had gone down Agnes would fill him in later.

"You ok?" He stood behind Dean and placed his hand on his shoulder causing his son to look up again. John could see all the questions that were in his eyes but Dean merely nodded and turned back to Sam.

Jim and Julie-Anne had come into the room and after checking on her mother, the young girl went round and pulled up a chair next to Dean.

He turned to her, a soft smile crossing his lips so she lent in and gave him a kiss. "I'm fine, just before you ask." He took her hand.

"We'll leave you two here just now, I'll go get the nurses, tell them that Sam was awake and go see what damage I've done to the hospital and elsewhere." She look John's hand and motioned him and Jim towards the door.

John resisted only for a brief moment and then he went with her. "You'll get me if he wakes up?"

Dean nodded.

Once they were gone Julie-Anne lent against Dean and he slipped his arm round her. "So want to tell me what's bugging you?"

He laughed a short laugh. "It's that obvious?" He turned and kissed her hair. "Your mother, she hiding something from me."

"And you want to know what it is?"

She touched his head and as he pulled back slightly she saw something in his green eyes that made her worry exactly what had happened here. Dean was afraid. He pulled her to him and kissed her head again, relishing having someone there to comfort him as she slipped her arms round him and pulled him into a hug.

He sighed as he looked back at his brother.

"Honestly? I'm not actually sure that I do."

**Chapter End Notes:**

There, see I can play nice….sometimes! For a spell at least anyway. *smiles*


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Moving this on a bit now, it's getting there! A little lightness to start and then John and Dean have a little chat!

Apologies for I have not replied to any reviews for the last two chapters, I will catch up but life is so busy at the moment that I am struggling to write and post. This doesn't mean that they are not all cherished and gratefully received. They make my day!

Enjoy! Mary x

Truths and Lies

_Three days later _

Julie-Anne rolled over and smiled at the man lying next to her. She marvelled that hair as short as his could end up so ruffled by sleep but she wasn't complaining because she thought he was gorgeous like this, lost in sleep, his face peaceful and relaxed in a way that it never was when he was awake. Or course the reason that his sleep last night had been so trouble free might have had a little to do with her slipping something into his drink, but it had been worth it.

Dean was tired, she could hear it when he talked to her and she could see it in his eyes. It had made her want to give him at least one night of peace, even if he was going to throw a fit when he woke up and found out what she had done. He had spent the last two days at Sam's bedside, coaxing him through the last of the infection. The doctor's had finally managed to get a grip on it after the werewolf had been dispatched. It was only because John and her had ganged up on him that he had agreed to go back to the motel at all and even then only for an hour or two to catch some sleep. Julie-Anne had turned that into the whole night, not even bothering that there was nothing more in it for her than a chance to cuddle in next to him and watch him in his slumber.

She realised that his eyes were opened just as it registered with him that it was daylight outside the motel room's faded curtains. They had moved to the Willow and Pines, Agnes refusing to spend the one night that she had with them in the Bates and the owner refusing to let Dean stay there in any case.

"Shit." He rubbed sleepily at his eyes at he sat up. "What time is it? Why'd you let me sleep so late…Sam'll be looking for me." He pushed off the bed and lifted his jeans from the floor.

"I called thirty minutes ago, Sam's still out and John's with him and you needed the rest. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone drugged me." She dropped her eyes from the pointed look and fiddle with the bedclothes. Dean found he couldn't be angry at her, not when she looked so worried about him, besides she was right, he had been dead on his feet. He reached for his shirt. "You know you and your mother have a way too free and easy approach to giving people drugs."

She stood and wrapped her arms round him, her chest pressed to his back. "Only with people that have a way too free and easy approach to their health and well being."

"Touché. Did your mom call?" He pulled forward and she reluctantly let him go and sat down on the bed.

"Yeah. Paul's asking for you and Sam. He hopes everything is ok."

"I'll call him this afternoon." He shrugged his t-shirt on and then knelt down, hunting under the beds for his boots, coming up empty. Julie-Anne looked away as he stared at her. "Ok. Where did you put them?"

Innocence shone in her eyes. "I didn't put them anywhere."

"Yeah, right." He stood and looked round the room as she skipped by him into the bathroom.

"I'll be ten minutes, will you wait on me?" She smiled sweetly from the door.

"Can I have my boots to at least go get us some coffee?"

Julie-Anne stepped further into the bathroom and retrieved them. He pulled her in as she went to hand them to him and stole a kiss. "Why did you hide 'em in the first place?"

"I figured if the drugs didn't work even you might balk at walking barefoot into a hospital, that I could use them to keep you here."

Dean laughed. "You should know me better than that, besides I've another pair in the car." He sat down to pull them on and sighed as she manoeuvred herself on his lap, facing him and putting her hands round his neck. "What?"

"We could forgo the coffee; I could give you a kick start in a whole other way." She leant in and kissed his neck softly.

"I'm not sure what you have in mind would be considered a kick start, it usually leaves me tired out, besides you only have ten minutes and you'll still want a shower, so maybe we should just stick to the coffee?"

Julie-Anne grinned at him. "Or maybe we could just skip straight to the shower part and get the coffee for the road?" Her hand roamed lower and she smiled as he dropped his head against her and groaned into the skin of her neck.

"You're gonna be the death of me, do you know that?"

She slid off, pulled him up and dragged him over to the bathroom. "I know, but what a way to die eh?"

---

Over an hour later Dean and Julie-Anne walked into his brother's hospital room.

"Well did he get a good night's sleep 'cos looking at him I can tell how you woke him up this morning." John grinned at his son. "You're shirt's inside out and the label is at the front"

"Damn. I wondered why the nurse was looking at me strangely." Julie-Anne hid her grin as he turned to her. "You knew, didn't you?"

"I might have spotted it as we were getting out the car."

"Witch."

"No, I think you'll find that's my mother." She laughed and took his jacket as he handed it to her and started to strip.

John looked at the fading scars on his son's shoulders. "How are they?"

"They're fine, Agnes healed them almost all the way. How's yours?"

"Still sore. Funny how Agnes never volunteered to heal me, don'tcha think?" He looked a little put out and Dean tried hard not to laugh.

"Maybe you're not as irresistible as you thought? Either that or you're losing your touch, old man."

"Watch it." John growled at his son but his eyes were sparkling with amusement. Dean had hardly spoken to him in the last two days, so he was grateful that a little sleep and the tender ministering of Julie-Anne had lightened his son's mood.

Once he had sorted himself Dean walked over to Sam's bedside. "They still got him sedated?" He reached over and touched Sam's forehead, checking his temperature without really thinking about it.

"They're going to ease back on it today, now that the infection is almost completely cleared."

"Are you going to let mom move him to the clinic? We can work on his collar bone injury there better than they can here." Julie-Anne came up on the other side of Sam's bed. She knew that Agnes had offered to take Sam back to the clinic and have him treated for the infection there and they had both been surprised when Dean had refused to let him be moved, John letting the decision be Dean's call.

John was watching now as Dean didn't answer straightaway, just kept staring down at the sleeping form of his brother.

"Dean?" Julie-Anne lent across the bed and took his hand.

"I'm not sure that we shouldn't just let it heal on it's own. I mean Agnes is still busy with healing Paul and she's still tired from what happened here….."

Julie-Anne raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you want mom to help your brother?"

Dean wouldn't look at her. "I want Sam to get better it's just…."

"Just what Dean? What's up?" Julie-Anne had moved now round beside him, concern again in her voice.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip, he wasn't sure why he didn't want Agnes touching Sam, he just didn't. Actually he thought that was a lie, he did know, she called the demon into his brother, let the thing that took his mom and destroyed his family life to get inside one of the few people that Dean cared about, the one that he'd promised to look after and keep safe from that very thing. Hell, he had been a party to it, albeit unwittingly. John and Agnes were keeping something from him, he didn't know what but he wasn't happy about that either.

Julie-Anne squeezed his hand again. "Dean? Sam's in pain and mom can help, are you going to let her?"

She'd hit the only thing that could change his mind. His brother was suffering and Dean could stop it. He opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Yeah. Sure. Once the doctors are happy that the infection is on the run we'll go to the clinic, see if your mom can't help with his injury." He paused and looked over at his dad, watching as John eyed him warily.

Dean caught Julie-Anne's attention again. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Of course. What do you want?"

"Can you sit with Sam for a minute or two, I want a word with my dad."

John seemed to blanche for a moment. "What about?"

Dean shook his head. "Not here." He motioned to his brother. "Outside."

"Ok." John stood and followed Dean out into the corridor and down into the family waiting room. It was empty, just the TV playing some daytime soap quietly in the corner.

John watched as Dean went over and switched the TV off and then turned to him, noting that the despite the easy smile on his son's face the walls were up. John knew what was coming and he knew how to deflect the heat.

"So, did you know what Agnes was bringing through to get rid of the wolf from Sam?" Dean walked over until he was almost touching his father. "Because I kinda get the feeling that you did?"

"I knew." John wasn't going to lie but that didn't mean that he was going to tell Dean the truth either. "She told me that it was the best shot that she had at saving him."

"Uh-huh." Dean rubbed his hand over his face, his eyes dark. "And I'm suppose to believe that you were alright with that. That out of all the demons that she could have used, and lets face it there had to have been others, she chose the one that you had been hunting down, the one that killed my mother and you let her put it inside your son?"

John looked down at his hands for a moment, knowing that Dean was going to hate him for his next statement but not willing to let his son know what his brother was. He had groomed Dean as Sam's protector, not that that had taken much doing, Dean was already fiercely protective of Sam, but if John told him about the demon blood would that change? Dean loved his brother, but Dean was a hunter, bred to hate all things supernatural and to tell him that his brother might end up as one of the things that he hunted…..John couldn't. He needed to try and find a solution to this before he let Dean or Sam know what he'd discovered, let them know that the filthy thing that had stolen the love of his life from him had also taken part of his son too, claimed part of him for its own.

He lifted his head, resolve in his expression. "It was my idea, I thought that if Agnes called through the demon and used it to heal Sam then I would get my shot at it when she was done."

Dean stared at him in bewilderment. "You what?! Sometimes I don't even know who you are, do you know that? You got Sam bitten by a werewolf, Agnes is trying to help and all you can still think about is your damned revenge? Don't you care what might have happened to him….to me even, if Agnes had lost control?"

"She told me she could handle it."

"We'll that makes it alright then doesn't it." He turned to walk away and then stopped. "So why didn't you then?"

John was confused. "Why didn't I what?"

"Take your shot at it? It was your idea to summon the thing yet you let Agnes make you wait outside the room. How did you expect to get to it from outside a door?"

"Agnes told me that she could heal Sam and then let me in to deal with the demon."

Dean faced him. "She did, did she? How were you going to deal with it dad, what was your plan?"

John opened his mouth to say something, anything, but his brain seemed to have seized.

Dean pounced. "That's a great plan." He stepped forward. "There's something going on here that you're not telling me, I'm not stupid, you know that. I don't believe for one moment that you'd put Sam in the road of this thing without a damn good reason. I want to know what it is?"

"I told you, I just wanted my shot at it, things just didn't go how I figured is all."

Dean's eyes were hard. "Fine don't tell me then. I'm going to sit with my brother."

He walked outside and ducked into the stairwell, pulling his phone out and pausing for a minute before dialling the number. She answered on the fourth ring.

"Hi, is Sam ok?" Agnes sounded sleepy.

"Did I wake you? Are you alright?"

She laughed off the concern in his voice. "I'm still a little tired from dealing with Sam and Paul and I did a session last night. It's nothing, don't worry. What can I do for you Dean?"

"Looks as if Sam is clear of the infection, I was checking that it was fine to bring him to you, let you look at his shoulder for him. If it's too much for you just now I'll understand, we can leave him here…."

"Dean?" Agnes' voice was soft.

"Yeah?"

"Bring him here, get Julie-Anne to call admin and get the formalities sorted and I'll see you all when you get here."

"Thanks. Listen I'm sorry I was a bit off before, when you offered earlier, it's just that dad has explained it all to me now and I understand that it wasn't you that decided on bring through that demon." He held his breath for her reply.

"You're dad has explained it to you?" Somehow Agnes seriously doubted that, then she realised, Dean was fishing. "That's good, I'm glad that you know why we used him."

"Yeah." He realised that he'd been rumbled, something in her voice changing as she spoke. He cleared his throat.

"Was there something else that I can do for you Dean?" He was wanting to ask her something, she knew that and she thought that she knew what it was. After what had happened to Sam she wasn't really surprised.

"Yeah, actually there was." He gave her what he hoped would be his final request for a favour and felt his heart tighten as he did.

**Chapter End Notes:**

I think you might know what the favour Dean is asking is, if not I will let you know in the next chapter or two. Mary x


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Sorry for the delay, hope you like this. Mary x

Thank you as always for the reviews, they've kept me going on this one. x

:)

Anything for my brother

John watched as Dean helped his brother into the back of his truck and then turned to him and Julie-Anne. Dean handed her the key to his girl and pulled her in. "Not one scratch do you hear?"

"I hear! I can drive you know." She turned and grinned at the Impala. "Never driven anything like this before though."

"Yeah, well enjoy, 'cos you're not likely to get another shot."

She smiled at the concerned look he threw the car. "I could always drive your dad and Sam and you could take her yourself?"

He kissed the top of her head. "As tempting as that is, I wouldn't inflict a three hour drive with my brother and my dad on anyone, least of all you."

"I'll be careful with your car, I promise." She kissed his nose and he watched as she freed herself from him and climbed into the driver's seat. "Mind you, you didn't tell me not to speed!" She slammed the door before he could answer and gunned the engine, honking the horn as she drove out the hospital carpark a little too fast and clipped the kerb.

"Sonuvabitch, I'm gonna kill her." He turned and scowled at the smirk on his father's face. "What you grinning at, I've got your truck and I ain't letting her get out of my sight for long, so get in." They climbed in and Dean turned to his way too pale brother who was already in the back. "You alright? Sure that you want to do this in the truck, Agnes could have got an ambulance for you if you wanted."

"I'm fine. They gave me the good stuff before I left. I'm feeling no pain." He tried to give his brother what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Ok then, let's get this show on the road." It felt strange as he pulled out, driving the truck and the three of them in the one vehicle for the first time in a while. John's shoulder was still bothering him and Dean had refused to let him drive which meant he'd had to entrust his beloved Impala to Julie-Anne. He was tempted to clip the kerb himself on the way out, see if John found that funny, but he resisted because of his brother and pulled slowly out the entrance and into the traffic.

They caught the Impala after the third set of lights and he had to smile as he watched Julie-Anne drive, window down and the music loud enough for them to hear every time they stopped.

"She's quite a girl, but then she is Agnes' daughter so I suppose she would have to be. You like her a lot, don't you?" John turned to watch Dean as he was driving, wondering how he somehow managed to miss his little boy turn into the young man that was sitting next to him.

"We have fun together, I enjoy her company." Dean kept his eyes on the car in front, shaking it as she peeled away from the lights a little too fast for his liking.

John smiled at the non-committal answer and left it at that, realising that maybe he didn't want to know exactly how much Dean liked this girl. Letting her drive his car was a pretty big statement in itself. They drove in silence for a spell, both men turning round every now and then to check if Sam was alright until he finally fell asleep about an hour into the journey.

Dean could feel his dad's eyes on him and shifted uncomfortably on the seat. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering, when we get back here, are you going to be helping Agnes again in the clinic?"

Dean turned briefly and then put his eyes back to the road again. "Probably, I need to see Paul and there are a few other patients that Agnes had me helping with, older ones, you know the ones that had no one to sit with them and listen to what they had to say."

"So." John tried to find a way into the question that he wanted to ask. "Do you like helping out there?"

Dean smiled. "She told you didn't she? About the job offer? It's ok, you can ask me outright if you want, you don't need to pretend that you're interested in what I'm doing there."

John chuckled at Dean reading him so easily. "Well?"

"It's a good offer, interesting job and the pay would be good as well."

His father's smile widened briefly. "I can hear a but coming…." Two could play at the reading your thoughts game.

"But…." Dean turned to him again. "….I'd get bored after a while and even with Julie-Anne there, I mean I like her, but I'm only twenty years old. It's not what I want to do…not really, besides we've got a demon to hunt, and when Sam leaves….." He stopped as he felt his father tense beside him and sighed. "Why don't you just talk to him about it, try to see his side for a change. Please?"

John just turned and looked out the window.

Dean's voice was quiet as he spoke. "We don't work together anymore, you can see that right? The three of us, there's one ego too many in the pot and it's gonna boil over ....it just doesn't work. I don't want him to leave, I really don't, but we aren't gonna be able to make him stay and the constant fighting……it's driving me crazy and it's going to get one of us killed, hell it almost did already and I won't let that happen."

John didn't answer and Dean just sighed.

They sat in silence for the rest of the way.

----

Sam had been here two days and Agnes was talking about scheduling in a little healing session just to see how his injury would respond to her touch. She was pretty sure that the muscles and nerves would react but the bone was a whole other challenge and one, she had said, she wasn't sure she was up to, not right at this minute. He and Agnes had never really hit it off but even still, Sam had the feeling that she was avoiding him, delaying his treatment. She also wore surgical gloves every time she touched his injury.

He voiced that opinion to his brother who was in the room with him now, sorting a bag of clothes that he had brought him into the small closet on the wall behind the door.

"You had an infection, she probably doesn't want to risk spreading it. Agnes is just busy that's all, and she's still working on Paul. She'll get to you, it's not like we're in a hurry or anything."

"I know, it's just that the couple of times that she has come in she's been a bit off with me." He fiddled with the cup of water that he was holding in his hands. "Dean can I ask you something?"

He watched as his brother tensed and then came over to sit next to him. "What?"

"What happened? I mean I got bit by a werewolf Dean, I should be locked up in a cage somewhere with you feeding me kibble, or worse. I'm sitting in this bed, and instead the only thing that I've got to show for it is some teeth marks and a few broken bones. Dean I've done research of werewolves before for you guys, far as I know there isn't a cure, so how did she do it?"

Dean sat quietly for a moment and Sam waited for his brother to collect his thoughts. "I'm not really sure, she summoned a demon and it fought off whatever it was inside you that would make you wolf out. Then she got rid of the demon and I woke you up. I had my eyes closed most of the time." He caught the look his brother threw at him. "AGNES asked me to."

Sam grinned a little at that. "What? I wasn't gonna imply that you were scared."

He was expecting some sort of come back from his brother and was surprised when Dean just slowly lowered his head, his voice quiet when he spoke. "I was you know."

"Eh?"

"Scared. I thought for a minute that my worst nightmare had come true and that I'd…..I'd have to…..that I'd lost another member of my family to one of the things that we hunt…..no, that one of my family had become one of the things that we hunt." Dean wiped at his face with his hand, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he raised his head. "I'm sorry Sam, I should have been there…..if I had just gone with you guys….."

"Dean, look at me." Sam reached out his hand and touched his brother's, waiting until Dean finally looked him in the eye before he continued. "None of us should have been there but it was just one of those things. It got the jump on us. Hell, it got the jump on Dad, there wasn't anything anyone could have done."

"So you guys weren't arguing?" Dean's tone was still soft, not trying to raise the point as an argument, just searching for a confirmation.

Sam sat silently.

"Sam?"

"We were having a little discussion, but we weren't exactly arguing." Sam knew that evasive didn't normally work against the Jedi master of it but he had to try. He failed.

"Dad talking on a hunt?" The quiet tone changed, still not raised but close enough. "Doesn't happen Sammy." Dean leant in. "You guys were getting into it and didn't hear it until it was too late. Sam I heard it in the message you left on my phone, you were pissed at each other before you even got out of the motel room."

Sam held up his hands in surrender and made a little face as his shoulder told him what it thought about that. "Ok. It was my fault, I started a fight with him and distracted him. That's why it happened, that's why I got bitten. Happy now?"

Dean shook his head. "No, not really." Sam watched as his brother stood. "Listen I've got to go, I told Agnes I'd help with today's session with Paul. I'll talk to her, find out what's going on and when she's gonna fit you in. I need to speak to her anyway." He stood and headed for the door, stopping when he reached it. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, 'cos I never really ever wanted a pet." Dean's face was still serious but there was a little light in his eye and Sam watched speechless as the door closed behind his brother, the little laugh drifting back in from the hall as it did.

---

Dean walked into the room were Julie-Anne was working on Paul's arm. He felt his spirits lift that Paul looked so well and was so pleased to see him.

"Thought you were hiding from me." He joked gently with Dean. "How's Sam?"

"Nah, I was trying to get my brother settled in and I didn't really want to leave him alone on his first night here. Sorry. He's better, just his shoulder that's the problem now, but Agnes is gonna look at that for him."

Paul smiled. "That good, I'm glad and it's ok. Family should always come first, I get that. So what was wrong anyway? Agnes sounded stressed when she spoke to me so I guess it was something bad?"

"Yeah. He got bitten by a wolf, gave him a virus, real nasty one as well as breaking his collar bone. It was looking bad for a while there but he's fine now." Dean wanted to change the subject. "So, how have you been? Agnes was saying that she did a session with you the other night."

Paul rolled his eyes. "That was kinda sore, maybe it was because I missed a couple of days I'd forgotten how much it could hurt. It just seemed stronger somehow. I think I missed having you here to chat with, take my mind off things."

"Well, Sam's better and I'm back now so I should be at all your sessions if you want me to be." Paul couldn't hide the grateful little smile.

Dean turned to Julie-Anne. "You seen your mom at all today? I thought she was doing Paul's session now?"

"She put it back, decided she was coming in late today." Looking down she checked her watch. "Think she might be here by now though, said she'd be in by twelve at the latest and it's gone half past now."

"Thanks. I'll check her office, see if she's got in yet."

He turned to go but her voice stopped him. "You want to do lunch? I'll bring it to Sam's room?"

Dean smiled. "Yeah. That'll be good. When?"

"I'll be about another half hour here with Paul and then I've got some stuff to finish off….say two thirty?" She moved round the bed and Dean eyed her gloved covered hands that were covered in paste.

"Don't even think about touching me with those."

She laughed. "Well manoeuvre yourself in here and give me a kiss before you go." Holding her arms wide she motioned with her fingers for him to step into the space between. He moved in as requested and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

"Is that it?" She moved her arms in a little. "If it is, this is going to get messy."

Dean grinned and then pulled her in for a deep, full kiss, mounding her to him as he did. When he broke it he whispered in her ear. "That better?"

She giggled. "I think you should leave while you still can."

"Lunch then." He gave her a quieter, more tender kiss this time.

"Lunch."

---

Dean had eventually found Agnes doing a round of some of her other patients and she had got him to go back to her office to wait on her. He had done as requested but after sitting in there for a few minutes his restless nature got him on his feet and looking at the tall display cabinet behind the desk. There were various awards for charity work and things that she had done in the hospital that she had worked in and there was picture of her and a very young Julie-Anne standing outside this building. It must have been the opening ceremony for the clinic as there were sponsor's billboards sitting to the side in the picture and various suits standing behind them, grinning as only suits can.

The last picture was tucked behind that one and Dean opened the cabinet to pull it out. There were three females in the picture, one was clearly Agnes, who was standing in front of an older woman, a younger girl held securely in Agnes' arms.

"That's my mom and my sister." He turned at the sound of Agnes' voice.

"I didn't know that you had a sister."

Agnes took the photo from him and slipped it back in the case. "I don't. Not anymore. She died a long time ago."

"I'm sorry. What happened?" He walked over and sat back down in the seat as she slipped behind her desk and opened some files, shuffling the paperwork in them but not really reading them.

"I killed her." Agnes looked up and caught the stunned look in Dean's eye.

"I don't believe that."

The conviction in his voice made her smile, a little sad half smile. "I left her with my mother, something happened and she died. It's the same thing. If I'd have got her out too, she'd still be here. I might as well of killed her, she's still dead because of me after all. It was a long time ago and I really don't want to talk about it."

Dean could sympathise with that, the not wanting to talk, so he changed the subject for her. "So Sam."

"I've got some stuff here for him. I was going to talk to him later today, if your sure that you want me to that is, and then I need to see about getting a session organised for him."

"He thinks you're avoiding him." There was a little hint in his voice that Dean maybe thought that too.

She knew that Dean was watching her for her reaction, and she tried not to show that the thought of laying her hands on his brother bothered her. She smiled "No, I'm just snowed under, that's all. That's what happens when you go AWOL for a couple of days." She gestured to the files in front of her and then sat back. "So, you're sure about this? You want me to help get Sam into college." Agnes closed the files she had been looking at and shoved them aside giving Dean her full attention.

"Yeah. I want my brother out of the hunt and he wants this so it's win-win all round." It didn't sound like win-win, listening to the flat tone in his voice but there was a steely resolve in his eyes.

"It might be safer for Sam to stay with you both, there are a lot of bad things out there that don't need to be hunted to have them come after you. I know I threatened your father with helping Sam but I see now that there is no win in this for him Dean. John doesn't want Sam hurt but he doesn't want him to leave. He'll fight you both on it, he has too."

"Hunting safer than college?" Dean looked at her, trying to read the feelings behind her statement, why she suddenly seemed to have stepped to John's side of the fence. "I don't want Sam to leave either, but it's the only way I know how to keep my brother safe, to stop something like this happening again. I'll deal with my Dad's objections when I have to."

They sat for a minute in silence and then Agnes came round the desk and sat on the edge of it in front of him, "Okay then, do you know if Sam has actually started his applications, there's a lot to do to get to the acceptance stage and he can't skip any of it just because of me. I can get my friend at Stanford to look over any applications that he's making, he'll guide him on the right path, let Sam know what they are looking for. I'll put a personal letter in as well if you'd like me to but at the end of the day he'll still have to work for it."

"I think he's got some application stuff done on his laptop, I'll get it for you when we're done here." Dean looked up. "You'd do a personal recommendation for him?"

"If getting him in means so much to you, then yes. I've already spoken to Jim and another of your Dad's friends….Bobby?"

"You called Bobby?" Dean smirked. "I sure would have liked to hear how that went."

"Well once I had told him that I was doing this because you asked me to he seemed more forthcoming, he thinks a lot of you, sang your praises to me as well. There are things he said that we can use in getting Sam in, although we may have to doctor the truth a little, but he speaks highly of your brother's organisational skills, his diligence in his research. ."

"Well if Sammy screws the research then he knows that's usually when one of us gets hurt."

"Like on this hunt."

"Sam didn't screw the research on this, he didn't get to finish it before Dad dragged him off." Dean's big brother mode switched on and she held up her hand.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Sorry."

"So when are you gonna talk to him?"

"I've got all the stuff I need here for us to get started. Frank, my friend at Stanford, e-mailed me everything, so if Sam's got the other applications then….now?"

Dean stood. "Fine, I'll get his laptop and stuff, it's in my car."

"Bring it here first ok? I'd like to look over it before I speak to him. I take it you know the password?"

Dean looked sheepish. "He locks his personal files but I know how to get in them."

"I would have been surprised if you didn't."

He smirked at that. "I'll be five minutes."

She went to push herself off the desk and had to sit back down as the dizzy spell hit her. Dean was back beside her in an instant. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just a little light headed is all. I haven't eaten yet, it's probably that."

"You look kinda pale. Are you sure that you're up to talking to Sam just now?"

"I'm fine, just go get the stuff and I'll get a coffee and a sandwich.

"You sure you're ok?"

She waved him off. "Yes, now go get his things and I'll meet you back here."

**Chapter End Notes:**

This isn't a cliffie I promise, I just needed somewhere to stop!

This strays slightly from cannon as my Dean wants his brother to go to college but I hope I've kinda explained why and there is more to come soon. Mary x


	35. Chapter 35

What My Heart Desires

Agnes had spoken to Dean, had something to eat and was getting ready to go to Sam's room surprised that Dean didn't want to come with her. "I'll get Julie-Anne first and give you guys a minute or two to talk through the college thing, I'd only get in the road anyway."

Agnes had leant against the door frame, steadying herself as she watched him. "You are so not alright with this."

Dean shrugged. "I am, kind of. Wish you could use magic the way they do in all the fairy stories though, I'd get you to give everyone a Disney happy ending. I'm sick of ending up with the damned screwed to hell Grimm's version."

She smiled at that. "I wish I could too. Life would be very different."

Dean moved closer to her. "Are you sure you're ok? You still look a little pale."

"I'm fine. Just juggling too many hats at the moment. Don't worry about me." She touched his cheek and then pushed him away. "Go get my girl and I'll speak to your boy."

He gave her one last look and then headed off. She closed her eyes for a moment and then pushed off the frame and headed down to speak to Sam.

----

Sam watched as Agnes came into his room balancing two cups of coffee on top of a bundle of files, a large manila envelope and to his horror, his own laptop.

"Hey Sam." She gingerly placed everything down on the table that sat over the bed and grabbed the coffee cups before they could tip. "How are you feeling this afternoon?"

"Why have you got my laptop?" He took the cup which she pushed into his hand and pulled the table to himself with the other, groaning with the sudden little burst of pain that the movement caused.

"Dean gave me it, thought you might need it. I've got your bag too." Sam suddenly realised that Agnes had his laptop bag slung over her shoulder.

"You do know that the laptop fits in that?" He watched as she dropped the bag from her shoulder, placed it on the bed and started to rummage through it. "Hey, that's my personal stuff." He tried to drag it away from her but the effort was just too much so he slumped back and scowled at her instead.

"Keep your hair on, I'm just looking for your letters that you wrote for the colleges that you wanted to apply to and that really nice letter that one of your teacher's gave to you when you left your last school."

"You read my letters?"

"Yeah and they need work but we can make something out of them." She opened the envelope and pulled out a slim folder. "I gotta say when I showed Frank your school record he was impressed, especially since you guys moved around so much."

"You pulled my school records? How? And who's Frank?"

Agnes smiled at that. "You think you're the only one that can get into stuff that they have no business being in?" She laughed as he blushed. "So anyway, I'll go over these with you, tell you what they will be looking for and then leave you to get on with it. And Frank is my friend at Stanford."

"You have a friend at Stanford? You're going to help me apply to college?" Sam was finding that his brain at the moment wasn't up to taking it all in.

"Yes. I don't know what your preferred one is, obviously the Stanford one is the one that I can get a little weight behind but I can help with the bones of the applications for the other and then as for the exams, they're tough but I can't see you failing them, especially not if we get some time to do some coaching on them."

"Why?" Sam confusion finally found a voice.

"Why what?" She shuffled through some more of the papers and laid them out on the table.

"Why are you doing this?"

Agnes looked at him in surprise. "Dean asked me too. Didn't he say to you?"

"No. He didn't."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Dean really wants you to help me to get into college?"

She smiled softly at him but stopped herself at the last minute from taking his hand. "Yeah, he really does. He knows how much this means to you and he wants to keep you safe so this is the ideal way, as far as he's concerned."

Sam bristled a little at that. "So does he think that I can't get into college on my own just like he thinks that I can't hunt without getting hurt?"

Agnes frowned at him. "Put that lip away right now. I didn't say he said you couldn't, I said he wants me to help you. It's not just about being smart Sam, I can help you with getting funding so that once you are in you can stay in. So what if your brother wants you to go to stop you getting hurt in a hunt, he wants what is best for you, don't twist it so you don't feel bad about leaving him."

Sam went to say something about the last remark but found that it was a little too near the truth for him to find a suitable response. He put the coffee on the table and crossed his arms as far as he could, groaning at the flickers of pain in his shoulder. "Maybe he should worry more about himself getting hurt and less about me."

Agnes touch the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing. "I agree with you there but that's not what older siblings are supposed to do Sam. He wants to give you what you want, why are you annoyed at that?"

"Because he doesn't want it for the same reasons I do. I want it to escape this life, he wants it because it's just another thing that he feels he has to do to keep me safe. Another sacrifice that he has to make."

"Sam it's not a sacrifice to him."

Sam huffed. "Well it should be. I want him to want someone to do something for Dean for a change. I mean look at all the stuff he's done for me in the last few days and I never get to do anything for him."

"This is something for him but maybe there is something else that you can do."

Sam lifted hopeful eyes to her. "What? Did he ask for something?"

That made her snort a little laugh. "No." She paused. "I offered Dean a job here, if he wants it."

Sam brightened. "Did he take it?"

Agnes shook her head. "No, not yet. I was trying to let him see how good he would be at it but its going to take a little longer now."

The brightness faded. "Because of me letting myself get hurt. He wouldn't stay anyway, not if I go, he wouldn't leave Dad on his own."

"Maybe you can help me, maybe we can talk him round together. I've seen how you can twist him round your little finger, perhaps we can use that for his advantage for a change?" She sat back and pushed his laptop to him. "Just now though have a look through the stuff I've left, read Frank's e-mail and then we can talk later about what else needs to be done to get this moving for you."

They both looked up as Dean and Julie-Anne walked in.

"Something you wanted to tell me big brother?" Dean smiled sheepishly at his brother's face.

Sam looked at Agnes and her daughter. "Can we get a minute please?"

Rising slowly off the bed Agnes took her daughter's hand. "We'll be in my office when you're done here."

Dean turned to her, stopping her leaving with a hand. "Are you ok now?"

"I'm fine….stop fussing."

Julie-Anne looked at them. "What did I miss?"

"She was feeling dizzy earlier on, tried to pass it off as not eating." Dean smiled at her.

"Tattle-tale." Agnes took Julie-Anne's arm. "I am fine, despite what Mr 'I defined the phrase _I'm fine_' Winchester thinks."

Sam laughed and then groaned drawing Dean's attention away from Agnes. "Are _you_ ok?"

"It only hurts when I laugh, or move, or breathe." Sam laughed again and started to cough. "Or…cough.", he added in-between choking to death.

Dean moved to fetch him some water and Agnes made her escape, dragging Julie-Anne along with her. "We'll see you later."

Julie-Anne slipped back in and handed Dean a bag. "Lunch. Enjoy." She flicked a look at the door. "How bad was she?"

"I'm fine!" The voice drifted in the open door before Dean could answer. Julie-Anne rolled her eyes and left.

---

"I thought it was what you wanted." Dean wouldn't look at him, instead he just kept playing with the edge of the blanket that was next to where his hand was resting.

"It is, but I don't want it like this, I want to earn it, to prove that I'm good enough, that I deserve to be there, not cause Agnes put a good word in for me."

Dean laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You've met Agnes, right?"

Sam crossed his arms and Dean frowned as his brother groaned a little in pain. "You got a point here?"

"Does she strike you as the type that would just give anyone a free pass? Do you see how hard she works Julie-Anne here? She made her daughter earn her place on her team and you think she's just gonna hand college to you on a plate. You're more naïve than I thought little brother. You have to write the i's and t's before she'll dot and cross them for you."

A thought crossed Sam's mind and he had to give vent to it, even though it would be what he wanted if it happened. "She told me that she had a job for you here that she wants you to take." He held up the papers. "Is this her bargaining tool to keep you here. She gets me a free ride into college and she get you as a trade?"

Dean turned on him, anger in his eyes. "You're an ass, do you know that? This woman saved your damn life and then she gives you your shot at Stanford and you looking for what's in it for her? And don't be fooled by the words 'free ride' little brother, 'cos in this life, there's no such thing. Not for people like us. She's gonna make you work for everything that you get, believe me."

He stood and walked to the window. "I asked her to help. You wanted a way out, I got you a way out, now all you have to do is earned it, fill the forms, pass the exams, and you're in. Everything that you want is waiting there just for you to grab it. Why do you have to make a fight out of everything Sammy? Why can't you just be happy, just for once?"

"Sorry." Sam lent back on the bed. He didn't want to fight with his brother over this, fighting with John was going to be bad enough. That brought another thought. "Does dad know that you've done this?"

Dean shook his head but didn't turn. "I'll tell him if you get in."

"What do you mean if?" Sam tried to get just the right amount of indignant into his tone.

That got his brother looking at him, a smile playing on his face. "Now that's more like a Winchester talking."

"He's gonna freak." Sam played with the cup of now cold coffee that sat in front of him.

"Think he did that already, or was that someone else that I could hear shouting at you while I was busy dying?"

Sam dropped his eyes away from his brother. "That wasn't funny."

Sighing Dean came and sat down next to him. "I know, I'm sorry. I'll deal with Dad ok? You just concentrate on getting better and getting this done." Dean gestured to the little mound of paperwork in front of him.

"Why are you doing this for me Dean? I know that you don't want me to leave. I know how it'll make you feel."

Dean lent in and sorted Sam's pillows, so close that his brother couldn't see the pained look on his face. "Because you're my brother Sammy and there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for you."

---

Agnes was sitting in her office when she felt it. The little stir inside her and she paused in the middle of what she was saying to Julie-Anne. "What? Are you alright mom?"

Her daughter went to take her hand but Agnes stop her. "I'm fine. Just….it's….." She felt the little shift in her power again. "No. He wouldn't."

Julie-Anne sat on the desk. "Who wouldn't? What's up?"

"Can you get Dean for me? Now." Agnes sat back in her chair and tried to tune in on what she was feeling, watching until Julie-Anne was gone and then going to her cabinet in the corner and unlocking it. She felt the surge run through her, stronger this time. Opening the door her eyes where drawn straight away to the gap in the few old books that sat on the shelf. "You idiot!"

Slamming the door shut and locking it again she grabbed her jacket and headed for the door almost running over Julie-Anne and Dean on their way in. "Where's John?"

She didn't even stop to hear Dean's answer, just headed out towards the carpark. "Jim's. Why? What's wrong?"

They were almost running to keep up with her long determined stride, following as she burst out the front door and into the carpark. She stopped as she got to her jeep. "You're driving." She unlocked the doors and threw Dean the keys. "I'm going to kill your father this time, once and for all. That is of course if he doesn't manage to kill himself first."

They got in and Dean threw the jeep out of the space and out onto the road. "What's he done?"

"Doing, not done. I think he took my book. I think he might be trying to summon the damn demon that killed your mother."

"You think he's what!?" Dean opened the jeep up more as the traffic thinned.

"Book's missing and someone is trying to use it, I can feel it. It has to be him." She felt another jolt. "Drive faster Dean. He has no idea what this thing is capable of. I warned him, told him he wasn't ready to face it."

Julie-Anne squeaked as the jeep lurched forward, the traffic was clearing and Dean slammed the accelerator all the way down. "Dean!"

Placing a calming hand on his arm Agnes turned to him. "We need to get there in one piece Dean to stop him remember."

"We will." He never took his eyes off the road.

Agnes shut her own as the vehicle picked up more speed, not sure which Winchester was scaring her more at the moment.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Sorry, just a little cliffie this time, promise! Teehee.

Hugs, Mary xx


	36. Chapter 36

Test Of Family And Friendship

Agnes was glad when they pulled up outside of Jim's house and not just because she knew that John hadn't completed the ritual. She wanted to stop and kiss the ground as she got out the jeep and she could tell by her daughter's face that she felt the same way.

"Well that was an experience!" Julie-Anne turned to head for the house and Agnes went to follow but Dean's voice stopped them.

"He won't be there. He'd need supplies. Things to do the ritual with. I know where he is."

The woman following him, the small party of three made their way over to the church.

Agnes stopped. "No way. Even John Winchester must baulk at summoning a demon into a church?"

Dean pushed opened the doors and headed down towards the altar. "He isn't in the church, he's under it."

He veered to the right and into the vestry stopping in front of a heavy curtain panel on the wall. Agnes recognised the heptagram on it as a sign for warding off evil.

Dean's voice pulled her back from her musing. "Is it ok to just walk in on this? Do we need to do something before we go down?"

"Ever the hunter, eh Dean?" Agnes shook her head and he pulled the panel aside to reveal a door.

"Jim keeps his hunting stuff locked away down here. Church and the panel stops anything that shouldn't be messing with it, messing with it."

"Anything except things like you hard headed father." Agnes tried the door. It was locked.

Dean rummaged on Jim's desk for a moment and came back with what Agnes thought looked like a paper clip. Whatever he had in his hands it worked. The door swung open in less than a few seconds.

"Impressive. Nice skills your Dad teaches you." Agnes brushed past him and into the stairwell. They could hear John's voice from below. "Oh no you don't John Winchester. I told you that I wouldn't help in this, I'm certainly not going to let you use my magic to do it." As they hit the bottom of the stairs they took in the makeshift altar and the huge devil's trap that it was sitting in the middle of. Dean briefly wondered if Agnes could step into something like but she quickly dispelled that thought as she strode up behind John.

"Clausus!" The book on the altar slammed shut and John swivelled to face Agnes.

"No. I'm almost there. I've almost got him." John's tone was edged with desperation and annoyance.

"And now you don't. Adeo mihi." The book flew off the table and into Agnes arms. "Did you know when you use a witch's book that they know you are doing it? That they are linked. I couldn't figure out at first what it was that was making me feel bad. I should have known that it was you. What the hell were you trying to prove here John? I warned you that you weren't strong enough to face this thing yet, hell I almost wasn't strong enough. What the hell did you think that you were doing?"

John stepped forward and tried to prise the book from her fingers. "Please. Just let me do this."

"Even if you summon it you can't kill it John, exorcising it is only gonna make it more mad at you than it is already, _you can't kill it_!" She screamed the last words at him.

"No, but you can." John took her arms and she tried to step back, the pain and the little hint of madness in his eyes scaring her.

"No. I can't John. I won't, especially not here, not on holy ground, not in Jim's church." She raised her hand. "I'm sorry John. Exstinguo."

The candles going out plunged the room into darkness.

By the time Dean found the light switch Agnes was gone.

Julie-Anne hovered for a moment and then she gestured to the stairs. "Better see that she's alright. Are you guys going to be ok?" Dean just nodded curtly and she took her leave.

John walked over and sat on Jim's old steamer trunk that sat in the corner of the cellar, his head collapsing into his hands. His son walked over and sat beside him, close but not touching. "I almost had it Dean. It was almost in my grasp and she stopped me."

"I need you to promise me something." Dean rested his hand on his father's leg causing him to finally look up into his son's worried face.

"What? What would you like me to promise Dean?"

"Promise me…no swear to me that you wont try to summon that thing again, not unless it's life or death…..that one of us is dying. Hell maybe not even then. Swear you won't." Dean's voice was full of suppressed emotion, anger, fear and even a little sadness all sounding in it.

"I can't. Agnes took the book." John's defeated tone didn't fool his son for a single beat.

"And if I go and search through your stuff I ain't gonna find copies of the pages that you need? You knew that there was a chance that Agnes would bust you, you'd have made copies. Promise me you won't use them. Swear it."

"I can't" John didn't want to do that. He hung his head.

Dean put his own head down and rocked gently to calm himself. "I can't lose you too. Promise me….." He paused and took a calming breath. "…….or I'm staying here."

John's head shot back up. "What?"

Dean stood and walked into the centre of the trap, anger in his tone. "You heard me. _Promise_ me that you won't try to summon that thing, _swear to it_……or…. I'm going to say yes to Agnes' job offer."

"You wouldn't……" Dean was glad that his father didn't sound sure.

"Try me. I can't sit any longer and watch why you try to destroy yourself chasing this thing down. I just can't." John watched his son's back hitch slightly.

"Dean, I'm doing this for you and your brother."

His son shook his head. "No your not, its revenge, pure and simple. He broke you and now you want to break him back. Does killing him mean more to you than we do?"

John stood and walked up behind Dean, spinning him into a partial hug, feeling it as Dean tensed and then relaxed in it. "Nothing means more to me than you and Sam, don't you ever doubt that." John's voice was barely more than a whisper in his ear. "I just wanted it to be over. I wanted us all to be able to have a life."

Dean's anger left him then, as quickly as it had come. "So you dying trying to kill this thing, that would make it over? Maybe for you, but not for us, for us then it would never be over. I doubt that it will ever be anyway. You said it yourself Dad, even if you kill this thing there will still be others just as bad, just as evil that need to be hunted down. It's never going to be over Dad and I can't do this without you."

John snorted at that and Dean turned on him.

"What's so damned funny?"

"You're wrong Dean, it's not me that keeps you going. You have something inside you that does that. Something that I'll never have."

Dean scoffed. "What's that?"

"A sense of right. You do what you do because you know that it is the right thing to do, that by doing it you save others from our pain and our sorrow. It's not revenge that drives you Dean it's something much, much more purer." John squeezed his son's shoulders and sighed softly. "Ok. if it means that much to you, I promise, unless something major happens, something that threatens you or your brother, I won't try to use Agnes' summoning ritual. I swear to it."

Dean met his father's eyes to see the truth for himself. "Really. You mean that?"

John patted his arm. "I mean it. Now, I think I owe Agnes an apology." He started towards the stairs but stopped when he realised that Dean wasn't following. "You coming?"

Dean shook his head. "Oh no. You are on your own for that one."

John managed to force a little smile. "Coward."

Dean half-laughed and walked by his father, patting him on the back as he did. "You bet your sweet life I am, I saw how angry she was with you in the jeep. This isn't gonna be pleasant, think I'll skip it, take Julie-Anne outta harms way as well."

"Well, best get my execution over with." John walked out through the church behind his son and he and Dean parted company at the church doors, Dean having seen Julie-Anne waiting for him at the jeep.

"I'll send you flowers."

"Wise-ass!" John walked over to Jim's house to face the music thinking that he'd much rather be going up against the YED than facing the wrath of Agnes. With a little trepidation he went inside.

---

"Get out!" Agnes was sitting in Jim's library with her back to the door.

"Agnes I just came to apologise." John hovered in the door, the hunter in him sensing that he had upset something very deep and very dark in the woman in front of him. "To say I'm sorry."

"You should be." She stood and rounded on him, up so close that he had to look up to see the angry eyes that were fixed on him. "I helped you. I healed Dean and I saved Sam and this…." She waved the book in his face, almost taking his nose off with it as she swivelled away from him. "….this is how you repay me? You steal from me and try and use my magic to do something I warned you not to."

"What else would you like me to say? I didn't think. I'm sorry." He almost shouted the words at her, knowing he had no right to be angry at her but still he couldn't keep it from his voice.

Agnes walked over to him, throwing the book down on the desk as she did. "That's what I want you to do." Her voice and the room seemed to quiver when she spoke. "I want you to think John." She dropped herself back against the desk. "If you'd brought that through it would have killed you John, no ifs, no maybes…..you'd be dead. You put us all in danger John……Sam, Dean, Jim, Julie-Anne….me. Did you ever stop and ask yourself why I didn't want to try and kill this thing?"

"You don't want to use your power like that, you told me."

She gestured to the chair and he slumped into it.

"That a part of it, a big part but it's not all of it."

He watched as she crossed the room and sat down on the chair across from him, resting her arms on her knees as she lent forward to speak to him, her long elegant hand reaching out to take the one that he didn't realise that he had offered to her. "That demon, like it or not is part of your son. Has it never crossed your mind what would happen to him if it dies? If somehow you actually manage to kill it? They're linked John, Sam has it's blood in him, how do you know that banishing it or killing it won't harm Sam?"

The thought chilled him, the thought that he'd never given it concern worried him more though. Was Dean right? Was hunting this thing, getting his revenge, starting to mean more to him than the safety of his own family? "I-I….do you think that it would? Surely if the demon dies then what is in Sam would die with it?"

Agnes didn't know if she was pleased or sad that she had made him sound so worried. "It might, it might not. What would that mean for Sam though? Would he be normal again if it dies, would he die with it? I don't have the answer to that, do you?"

John lifted his hand and wiped it across his face the way Dean did when he was worried. "No. I don't."

"I'm not trying to scare you John and it was something that I didn't even think about either until after I'd touched him." She looked away from him, drew her hands back and sat deeper into the chair. "John. The amount of power that I had to use just trying to control the little piece of evil that's inside him. If you were to kill the demon, well Sam's a host for it's evil and its strong John, I can feel it when I'm near Sam, even without touching him. It's so very strong in him."

"That's why you haven't healing him yet isn't it, you're afraid of him. Your afraid of my son?"

"Yeah, John….Sam scares me, but not as much as you do. Promise me that you wont try this again?"

John hesitated for only a minute. "I promise."

"Good. I trust you to keep your word John. If not, then lets just say that I may not be so forgiving the next time." She touched him then, gripping his wrist and dragging a long, low moan of pain from him as what felt like icy fingers reached in and squeezed at his heart. "I like you John, I really do, but try anything like that again and I won't let it go unpunished. Do I make myself clear?"

John nodded, sitting back, trying to steady his heart back into a normal rhythm again. He spoke once he managed to get his breath back. "Tell me how I can make it up to you?"

The change in her demeanour floored him. "Dinner would be good." She stood and picked up the book. "Get changed and I'll met you out at the car."

He stared at her.

"What?"

"Nothing, It's just that I thought you be mad at me longer."

"Oh, I'm still mad at you John, believe me, wait until you see what I order to eat." She was smiling but her eyes were still cold and John could still feel the chill of her touch in his chest.

He walked over to her. "What are you going to do with that?" He watched as she ran her hands over it, her eyes flicking to the fire that was burning in the room. "You wouldn't?"

Agnes laughed. "No. There are other things in here that I may need at some point but I don't think I should tell you where I put this, do you? Best that I remove the temptation altogether."

John nodded and headed for the door. "I'll get you outside." He wandered up and sat in the bedroom that he was using at Jim's, his eyes drifting to the duffle at the end of the bed. "To hell with it." Opening it he started to look for the copies that he had made, frowning at first when they did come straight to hand. Then it hit him.

"Dean." He turned to look at the fireplace in the room and could see the blackened papers in the depth of the fire that it contained. Walking over he took the poker and mashed them into the flames. John changed quickly and then made his way outside, not missing the wary look that his son gave him as he approached.

"I wasn't going to use them." He crossed his arms and glared at his son but Dean met it, his own gaze never wavering from his father's eyes. "I promise you didn't I?"

"Well then it doesn't matter that I burned them, does it?"

"Burned what?" Agnes walked up behind them, watching the little power play between the two men in front of her, smiling as Dean appeared to win.

"Nothing." John turned and opened the jeep door for her.

"Where are you two going?" Dean gave them a puzzled look.

"Dinner."

"Really?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "And here was me thinking that Dad was gonna be the only thing that you ate tonight."

Agnes smirked. "I still might." She loved that he choked on his next gulp of air.

John turned to Dean as Agnes got in and he closed her door. "I'll swing by to see Sam on my way back."

"Don't upset him."

John's looked slightly put out. "Would I do that?"

"Yeah, you would. I mean it."

"I'll make sure he behaves." Agnes had put down her window to talk to him. He lent on it.

"Just make sure that you behave too."

"Always."

"Yeah right." He went to walk away and stopped. "Thanks."

She didn't have to ask what for. "Your welcome."

"So." John climbed in and closed his own door. "Where to?"

"Just drive and I'll direct."

Dean and Julie-Anne waved them off and Julie-Anne giggled.

"What?"

"Mom's directing them, she could get lost in her own clinic. They'll probably never be heard of again."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Hope you liked, Mary xx

I always wondered why John didn't summon the YED sooner if he knew how so I thought that I'd get my suggestion as to why into this story! Hope you like.


	37. Chapter 37

Sorry for the delay, FF wouldn't let me upload the chapter....dang computers and website! Bah! :)

Putting A Fire Under Them

Dean was a man with a mission.

It was the tension.

Dean was sick of all the tension.

Agnes dancing round Sam and John, Sam dancing round John, John dancing round everyone. There were too many hats in the air and Dean was sick of juggling them. It was giving him a headache, all the polite chitchat and the meaningless conversations were eating into his will to live. Something had to give and he swore it wouldn't be him.

He chased his brother every morning about the applications, going over them with him, letting himself be used as a sounding board, typing when Sam's shoulders hurt too much too. He took to running interference with John too, so that Sam had time to sit on his own and work.

He bullied Agnes into daily afternoon sessions with Sam, not letting her make excuses anymore, hunting her down if she was late for one. He didn't know why she was still hesitant about touching Sam, didn't want to know. He had been to the session, held Sam's arm and felt nothing that he could use as a reason that she still seemed reluctant to heal his brother. Sam was happy that she'd started though, and that, for now, was all that mattered.

He had got his father out of Jim's house, called Bobby, got a few easy, couple of hours at the most gigs that John either dealt with alone or Dean tagged along on. He let his father do the research, just falling into step with him, doing what he wanted. Appeasing him for now.

John knew what Sam was doing but for now it wasn't mentioned and Dean was grateful of that. He had a list of priorities and he was working his way through them one by one.

Refereeing the college death match was last on the list.

Julie-Anne cornered him as he was leaving the clinic. "Where have you been for the last few days? Every time I speak to anyone I've just missed you, it's like being on a treasure hunt and never finding the prize!"

"Sorry." He pulled her in for a quick kiss. "I've been kinda busy. I've kinda of got a lot of things that I need to get done at the moment."

"Well I want added to the to do list. Now." She smirked at him and he couldn't help but smile back.

Looking at his watch he sighed. "Julie-Anne, I'm supposed to meet my Dad in twenty minutes, we've got wind of a vamp couple out in the next state that are organising their own version of a blood drive."

She kissed him. "I spoke to Jim, he's already on his way out there with your Dad. Sam is tucked up in bed reading and mom is staying at the clinic tonight, new patient or something. So, you…..are coming home with me. I'm gonna cook you a meal, we'll open a bottle of wine, take a bath and then I'm taking you to my bed and I'm going to keep you there for the whole night. Handcuffs and straps if I have too!"

Dean snorted. "You sent Jim and my Dad on a hunt together? I'm suppose to be appeasing the beast, not rattling it's cage."

She gave him a mischievous look. "It's alright, I gave Jim tranquiliser darts, just in case."

"You what!?"

"Relax, I'm kidding. They're both grown men, they'll cope and Jim promised just to let John lead."

Dean snorted again and held out his hands. "Ok, take me away from all this." She grabbed his hand and dragged him off towards the car before he could change his mind. "My wish is your pleasure."

"I think you got that backwards."

She smiled. "No, just wait 'til I get you home."

---

Agnes got back at two in the morning, having decided that the journey home was more preferable to spending the night in the cot in her room at the clinic. Throwing her bag down inside the door she headed to the kitchen, intending on making a cup of coffee to take up to bed with her.

She flicked the kettle on and reached up, opening the cupboard for the coffee jar. The missing bottles from the shelf below caused her eyebrows to waggle with a little life of their own. Waiting for the kettle to finally boil she made her coffee and went upstairs.

Pausing outside Julie-Anne's room she listened for any sounds and then quietly put her hand to the doorknob and pushed it open. She smiled at the sight before her. Dean was on his back and Julie-Anne was curled up next to him, arm across him, her head resting on his shoulder, red hair spilling everywhere. She laughed at the little collection of bottles that were sitting on the bedside tables. "I thought he would be sweet enough without adding maple syrup to him."

She walked in and touched her daughter's head, brushing her hair back and leaning over, gently kissing her head.

"I thought you weren't coming back tonight?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice. "Jesus Dean, I thought you were sleeping!"

"I'm a hunter and you making enough noise to waken the dead….well except her." He too brushed his hands through Julie-Anne's hair. "But then I think she kind of tired herself out."

"I'll bet. I want my sauce bottles back in my kitchen in the morning!" She walked to the door and turned. "Then again, on second thoughts….just bin 'em I buy new ones! Night Dean."

He chortled at that. "Night Agnes."

---

Julie-Anne was alone when she woke the next morning, the space in the bed beside her cold. Sighing she rolled over and looked at the clock. "Shit!" She jumped up and ran for the bathroom, barely stopping to shower before she was dressed and out the door.

Her mother was in the reception as she tore in through the clinic door. "What time do you call this?"

"Sorry. I slept in. Dean must have turned off the alarm clock." Julie slipped her jacket off and headed for the treatment rooms, her mother falling into step beside her.

"So you two looked cosy last night when I got home."

Julie-Anne threw her a look. "You were in my room?"

"I stuck my head round to see if you were home."

"Dean's car in the drive wouldn't have told you that?" She stopped. "I'll replace the sauces."

Agnes laughed. "You'd better. So where is your _sweet_ boy this morning then?"

Julie-Anne groaned "Mother! Probably with Sam. Is there something that I can help you with or are you just hanging round me like a bad smell 'cos you've got nothing better to do?"

"I'm going to have a crack at Sam's collar bone, if you'll excuse that awful pun, thought you'd like to help."

"Yeah. When?" Julie-Anne pushed through the door into the treatment room.

Agnes stopped outside the room. "Twenty minutes ago!" She turned and headed off. "Hurry up!"

"I'm on it!" Julie-Anne threw her bag and jacket into the locker, grabbed her blue work jacket and a few bottles and headed out after her mother.

---

Dean was sitting with Sam when Agnes and the Julie-Anne came in. "Thought you said ten o'clock?"

Agnes walked over behind him and smiled at Sam. "I did but I was waiting for my daughter to grace us with her presence, seems someone turned her alarm off."

Sam laughed as his brother flushed. "Oh crap. Sorry. I thought I'd reset it."

Julie-Anne just shrugged. "Well we're here now, shall we?"

Agnes moved up next to Sam and started to help him get ready while Dean and Julie-Anne mixed up a little something for Agnes to use on Sam's skin. Nobody really talked, all of them lost in their own thoughts for a moment or two until Agnes broke it. "Ok, Sam's ready here. Is that done?"

"Yeah." Dean brought over the bowl and handed it to Agnes.

Thanking him she turned to Sam and pasted her hands with the mixture. "This is going to be a little cold at first." She gently smeared Sam's skin, both her and Dean watching as he shivered slightly at the first few applications. "Right. Dean? You ready?" Dean moved his hand onto Sam's arm and nodded. Agnes lent into Sam. "This is going to hurt a little to start off with but it should ease off pretty quickly, if it doesn't I need you…", she looked up at Dean., "……or you, to tell me. No bravery in this, if the pain doesn't ease, something's not working right. So are we good to go?" Sam nodded and looked at his brother who smiled reassuringly at him. "Ok now Sam, just close your eyes."

Agnes' touch seemed to burn as she closed her hands down on his collar bone and squeezed. "Crap. That hurts."

"I know. It'll pass. Dean and I have got you." Dean lent forward at that and started talking to his brother, just stupid things to draw his mind away from the pain in his shoulder, the pain that Dean could feel running through him too. He exchanged a little look with Agnes when he didn't feel it letting up.

"Just a minute more." She closed her eyes this time and both brother's felt the little jump in the power running into them, Sam letting out a little 'ah' as his pain level spiked and then dropped off almost completely. He felt her hands on him for just a few minutes more and then Agnes pulled free. "You can open your eyes now, Dean and Julie-Anne will clean you up."

He opened his eyes and Agnes held out her hand to him. "Pull yourself up."

"…..but my shoulder."

"Trust me. Do it." Sam lifted his hand, grabbed hers and pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Did that hurt?" Agnes was prodding around his shoulder.

"No."

"Good. Tomorrow you can go home."

Dean looked at her. "That's it? All this time and it only took ten minutes?"

"Sam's other injuries had to heal first and he had to get over what I did to him to get the wolf out. The shoulder, his collar bone had to be last. It takes the most juice as well, and I wasn't really ready earlier." She wiped her hands on the jacket she was wearing.

"I can go home?" Sam's smile lit the room.

"Yeah, but before you get too happy….." Agnes' smile was evil. "Now that your shoulder is fixed we can get on with the college prep. The application is almost good to go but we need to do something else before I get Frank to hand it over. I booked you an LSAT test in three weeks time."

"THREE WEEKS!" Sam's mouth fell open.

"He'll be ready." Dean looked at his brother. "What? You'll be ready."

"I know he will, because you are going to supervise him and coach him." Agnes smiled and Julie-Anne covered a laugh.

"ME?" It was Dean's turn to look shocked.

"Yes. You. Anyone that can turn in such beautifully average scores in every test that he ever sat, must know something about what to learn and what not to."

Dean glowered at her. "How do you know what my scores in any of the tests that I sat where?"

"I was nosey, sorry." Agnes didn't look in the least sorry. "I just wondered if you were as bad as you made out you were, so as I was getting Sam's anyway….I couldn't stop myself, I pulled your school record as well. It's interesting reading."

"Really?" She could tell he was more than just a little annoyed with her. "Why?"

"You always strikes me as a 'too much is never enough' type of person. That's probably your father's doing."

Dean flicked his eyebrows at her. "And?"

"Well your school work is the exact opposite. You've done just enough not to get noticed for the wrong reasons but not enough to get noticed for the right ones. Why is that you think?"

"I don't like attention, good or bad. It means people are looking too closely at who and what you are. Most people in school didn't even know that I existed, and that's the way I liked it."

"Uh-huh. Well now you can put that skill to good use. The mock test that I'm setting you both is in one week."

"Both of us?" Dean snorted at that. "If you read that record you know that I didn't graduate and you actually think that you're gonna get me to sit an LSAT test, fake or otherwise?"

"I need something to judge Sam's against, Paul is going to help by sitting one too. Jim said that he can stay at his for a bit."

"So you want Paul, Sam and I to test each other and sit LSAT's together? That should be fun. One question. What do I do with my Dad when all this is going on?"

"I've got something to keep him occupied, don't worry."

"Why do I not like the sound of that?" Dean rolled his eyes heavenward and exchanged a look with his brother.


	38. Chapter 38

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Another little update to move us closer to the end. Agnes had a job for John and Sam has stress.

Class Is In Session

John was sitting on the edge of a bed dressed in little more than a hospital gown while Agnes poked and prodded him. His hunt with Jim had not gone well. Concussion and two broken ribs were testimony to that.

"There's some nasty bruising on your back and shoulder as well." Agnes had finished examining the ribs and had moved on to the other various injuries that he had dotted across his skin. "Do they hurt?" She pressed her fingers into one of the more livid bruises on his back as she spoke and caused him to draw in a little hiss of breath.

"Why do doctors always ask that _while_ they're prodding?"

"Because we are really all sadists and we like to cause pain, but if we asked before and you said yes we'd look bad if we carried on anyway, which we would." She smiled at him. "I take it you let them throw you into the wall just to get your shot at the healing hands too? Complete my hat-trick of Winchesters?" She slid her hands down his side, smiling at the little tremor that ran through him. "If you wanted me to feel you up, all you had to do was ask."

"I didn't let the damn vamp do anything, I think that would have required me to be capable of speech and since it had it's damn hands on my throat……I don't mind if you want to let it heal on its own. No skin off my nose."

Agnes laughed at the look on his face. "At least it wasn't it's teeth and that last part would have sounded more convincing if your lip wasn't sticking out as you said it. Roll over and lie down."

John drew her a long look. "Woof." He still obeyed the instruction.

She smiled at that. "Good boy." Patting his head, she pulled the gown forward, exposing his back to her again.

He tried to turn far his head far enough to see what she was doing to him. "Is this gonna hurt?"

"Why?" She lent over him. "You scared John Winchester?"

"Only of you. I get the feeling that you're still mad at me about the book, even if you did make me pay for the most ridiculously overpriced meal that I've ever eaten."

"I'm not mad at you using the book, I'm mad at how you used it…..and I did…didn't I?" She put her hands on his back and he jumped at the touch. "Sorry, I've always got cold hands, crap circulation, what can I say. I'll be gentle with you."

It was the first time that Agnes had used her power on him without the intent to hurt him he realised, and although it was just this side of painful he couldn't help also realising that he was now very aware of his state of undress and of her touch. "You ok?" There was a warmth that was spreading through him as she shifted her hands slightly and eased the pain from the bruising and he wasn't sure that it was all just from the healing.

"Yeah." It was all he could manage, his eyes now shut, almost enjoying the burning sensation that was running deep inside his skin.

"This bit is going to be painful…I wasn't going to…but I might as well heal your ribs while I'm here. Don't like mending bones….to much feedback from it. You hurt, I hurt. Consider yourself privileged." She slide her hands onto his front and pressed, killing the pleasant sensation and driving a stabbing pain through his lungs.

His breath hissed through him. "Hurts….a little."

Her laugh was soft and at his ear. "It hurts more than a little John, I know that. I'm almost there." He felt her lips press a soft kiss to his temple and then her hands and the pain were gone. "So." She walked over to the window and stood flexing her fingers to get rid of the last of the sensation in them. "Two little vamps got the jump on the great white hunters then? Slipping John?"

"No, I was just too busy watching Jim didn't get hurt that I forgot to watch my own back." He paused. "Guess I'm kind of used now to Dean always having it. It's strange to go on hunts without him there; especially when he was the one that set the damn hunt up in the first place and then bailed."

She didn't like the little edge in his voice. "If you're mad at anyone it should be me, Dean was on his way when I scheduled some interference for him, he wanted to go but Julie-Anne and I had other ideas for him." "

You two managed to stop Dean going on a hunt?"

"Julie-Anne can be _very_ persuasive when she wants and hey…I'm a witch remember. I could get anyone to do anything I want…if I wanted to use my power that way. Which I don't."

"Really? You could? Then why don't you just magic me into agreeing with my youngest?" A thought crossed his mind. "Or better still, him into agreeing with me?"

Agnes snorted. "Because it would take more time and effort than it's worth. It'd be easier just to kill you. And don't think that thought hasn't crossed my mind."

John smiled. "Annoy you do I?"

"You have no idea." Agnes crossed the room and sat beside him.

"You know what they say about that don't you?" His smile grew easier and she liked the way it softened his face. And then she pushed _that_ thought far away.

"Down boy." She punched him playfully. "Get dressed. I've got a job for you, and Jim too if he wants, while your boys are busy studying."

John grabbed his shirt and slipped off the gown. "I still can't believe that you managed to get Dean's head back in a school book."

"Dean has something to prove, even if he doesn't realise it. It'll be interesting to see what the scores are on the mock tests."

"Yeah, real interesting."

Something in his tone annoyed her. "You think your eldest can't get a good score on the test?" Agnes studied him as she spoke and he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

"I didn't say that, but when Dean wants to learn something; he does it hands on, he studies people not books."

"Not like Sam?"

"Not like Sam at all. Dean'll bored in less than a day."

"Mmmm…..care to bet on that?"

He didn't rise to the bait. "Nope, 'cos if I do then you'll tell him that I think he'll give up, and then he'll stick at it just to prove me wrong. I use that tactic on him too you know; have done for a long time. It's what kept Dean in school as long as he was. It's alright for him to think that he can't do something, but when other people do, especially me….well that's when you see the real Dean. It never really worked as well on Sam, but then he doesn't care what I think of him."

"You'd be surprise there I think."

John shrugged. "Maybe." He stood and pulled his pants up and started to fasten his belt. "You said you had a job for me?"

"It's not technically a job, I just thought that if you're going to be stupid enough to try summoning spells then maybe I should teach you how to do it properly."

He looked at her, a stunned expression on his face. "You're going to teach me summoning spells?"

"I know that you took copies of my book John." Her eyes dared him to lie to her.

"I did, Dean burned them."

Agnes walked over to the mirror and started examining her hair.

"What are you doing?" John stood and walked towards her.

"Looking for the buttons that you clearly think are in the back of my head. You would have known that Dean would have known that you'd make copies. You made more than one, tell me I'm wrong John? Lie to my face."

"I promised Dean that I wouldn't summon it."

She had her answer with his lack of denial. "Yeah? Well I promised Julie-Anne that I'd stop sleeping with men with screwed up emotional issues and I still slept with you…so…."

"I won't use it unless I have no other option." The truth of that statement shone in his eyes. "I promised him."

"I believe you but when you do have to use it, and you will at some point John, 'cos I know you, least you'll do it right this time."

"I did it right the last time." John was annoyed at her put down.

"You were in the middle of the damn devil's trap John, that is not doing it right!" She picked up her bag and headed to the door. "We'll start tomorrow, little things and then we'll work our way up."

"You're going to help me?" He still couldn't quite believe it.

"I'm going to hopefully show you how not to get yourself killed John. Guess all the Winchesters are going back to school." She smiled sweetly and left him sitting there with a pleased if troubled expression on his face.

---

Sam shook his head as he tried for the tenth time to make heads or tails of the question in front of him. "I don't get it. Analytical reasoning my ass."

"What one is it you're stuck at?" Paul lent over and looked at the test paper that they were all working through.

"Nine. What has people on buses got to do with law school?" Sam sat back and rubbed at his head. He was tired and stressed and he couldn't get his head round this question.

"I think I skipped that one, too much straight forward thinking!" Paul laughed. "Give me the reading comp questions any day."

"I know, they're much easier…."

"Guys, can you shut up and just get on with it!" Dean raised his head and glared at the other two. "Number nine? Really? You guys can understand question eight but you can't just look at nine and know that the answer's C?" He looked at his brother. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

Sam was studying the paper in front of him. "It's C?"

"It's C. Now can we just move on and get this over with?"

Paul slapped his hand off his forehead. "It's C, why didn't I get that. It's staring you in the face when you look at it. Thanks Dean." He put his head down and went back to work.

"Sam?" Dean was looking at his brother. "What is it?"

"I'm tired. I need a little break. You guys want something to drink?" He stood and headed for the kitchen before either of his companions could answer.

Dean pushed back his chair and signalled to Paul to just carry on. "We'll only be a minute."

"Ok, and if the offers stands….I'll have a coke."

"One coke. On it's way." Dean walked in to find Sam sitting on the floor in front of the fridge.

"What?" He turned and slid down beside his brother. "Stop stressing about this test. You'll pass it, you know that you will."

Sam started to chew on his nail. "How do I know that? That's a really simple question and you got the answer just by looking at it yet I couldn't see it."

"That's 'cos you're trying to hard, you're looking for obstacles that aren't there; and I don't have any pressure on me. It's not me that wants to get into college. You can do this Sam, just relax and it'll come. Agnes real 'mock' test isn't until the weekend and it's only one question." He stood and dragged his brother back to his feet. "So get back in there and finish the rest and I'll get us all something to drink."

"Thanks Dean, it's just…that if I don't pass this then I'm stuck, you know. I don't want to be stuck Dean." He paused at that, a little guilt filling him. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I know what you mean Sam….now scoot, before the wicked witch gets back and thinks that I've been letting you slack off." Dean stepped forward and pulled his brother into a half hug, one arm loosely draped round Sam's neck.

"Like that could ever happen, you learned how to be a slave driver from a master." Sam smiled at his brother.

"Well then don't make me crack the whip, I will if I have to." Dean pushed Sam out of the kitchen and then raided the fridge for some cans of coke before he headed back out to join them.

They were still sitting there when Agnes and John returned, the former stepping forward to greet them and the latter making his way out to the yard again to go talk to Jim.

Dean raised his head as Agnes walked towards him. "How's it going?"

"Fine, apart from Sam and Paul cheating all the time and asking each other the answers." He grinned sweetly at his little brother's face.

"We did not." Sam looked at Agnes. "It was one question!"

She laughed. "Ok. Give me the papers and I'll get Frank to look at the answers and report back on how he thinks you're doing."

Dean pulled them together and handed them to her. "Dad not wanting to join the study group then?"

She hadn't even thought that he had seen his father walk in. "No, he's got his own study group going, him and Jim. With me as the teacher."

Dean raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

"Glad we got Dean." Sam muttered it under his breath but she still swiped his head for the remark.

"I got you boys something to help with the studying, just in case you were struggling." She rummaged in her bag and pulled out three copies of a book, throwing one to each of them. She didn't know if it was Dean's laugh or the other two faces that set her off laughing herself.

"Funny lady." Dean snatched his copy of LSAT's for Dummies from the table. "Now if school is officially out I am going to say hi to my dad and then….", he leant over to Agnes with the dirtiest smile that she thought she'd ever seen. "…I'm going go do things with your daughter that'd make you and her blush if I told you."

She lent back and caught his hand as he went passed. "Just don't use all my sauces this time."

Agnes turned back to find Sam and Paul looking at her open-mouthed. "Don't ask."

Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Oh, believe me, I wasn't going to."

**Chapter End Notes:**

The LSATs for dummies didn't come out until 2005 but I could resist taking a little liberty and putting it in here! Mary x


	39. Chapter 39

Hey there

A little light heartedness to start this one!

This story really is almost there now, maybe half a dozen chapters or so to go.

Smarter Than Your Average Bear 

A few days later

"Damn it!" John slammed the book down on the makeshift altar and spun round to face Agnes. "What the hell am I doing wrong?"

She stood with her arms crossed and tried to keep the smile from her face, not wanting to wave a red flag at the already angry bull in front of her. The snark though she just couldn't stop from escaping. "Apart from murdering an already dead language?"

"Funny! Language isn't dead; it's a zombie, thanks to you people always trying to resurrect it." He waved his hand at Agnes and Jim and the church that they were under. "Why can't I just summon the damn things in English?"

"Again….dead things that only speak a dead language. Can't teach dead or undead dogs new tricks." Agnes' grin burst though and John scowled.

"Can't teach old ones them either." Jim smirked from behind the safety of Agnes' back.

"Just 'cos you get to practice Latin every week!" John knew Latin, he'd used it in protection spells, even a couple of exorcisms, although they were Bobby's forte. This was another level altogether though and he wondered how he'd even thought that he'd had the summoning of the demon under control. Clearly it would not have gone well. He looked down at the dead thing in his hand and scowled harder.

"Children! Let's do this one more time." She picked up the little sprite that John had only managed to summon half of. "Well at least you'd kill whatever it was that you were trying to summon before it killed you. Glass half-full and all that!"

"Or he'd end up with two!" Jim smirked again and John's face darkened.

"Haven't seen your sprite live to tell the tale yet Murphy."

"At least I summon it in one piece, even if it's not breathing!"

Ignoring them Agnes took the summoned half over to its companion piece, she waved a hand over the little creature and they watched as it glowed slightly and then sat up, whole again; a tiny scowl on its face as it looked at John, almost matching his own. "Don't think it's happy with you there John." Jim's smirk vanished as John started towards him.

"John! Unless you want me to make you into Jim's practise material I'd get over here."

The elder Winchester turned and walked back over to Agnes. She lent in and smiled at him. "Your Latin is more than passable, it's just one or two words that are letting you down. You know what you're saying, it's just the how we need to work on. Get this right this time and I'll make it worth your while." She flickered her hair over her shoulder and shot him a smile that Dean would have been proud of.

"Hey. No offering of sexual favours under God's house please!" Jim rolled his eyes and then turned at the sound of footsteps as Dean came down the steps. Agnes grinned and stepped towards him.

"Who's offering whom the sexual favours?" Dean tilted his head at her and Agnes coloured but it wasn't a full blush. "Might have known, he still having trouble with the Latin?"

"He has a name you know and no I'm not."

Dean folded his arms the challenge clear. "Ok, let's hear it then."

John muttered something about being ganged up on and turned his attention back to the still scowling sprite. He smiled a thin smile at it, lit the candles again and picked up the book. Tracing the words with his finger he tried to get the pronunciation right this time.

"Is he supposed to sound like he's ordering a pizza?" Dean lent in and whispered in Agnes' ear.

Her snort of amusement broke John's concentration at the last minute and the poor unfortunate sprite met its demise once again, this time with rather more mess than before. John's slow turn and livid face set Agnes off into guffaws of laughter that set Dean off too, albeit more nervously. Jim thought it wise just to hide his amusement behind the book that he had in his hand.

"If you're so smart," John thrust the book into his son's hands, "….you try it!"

"Think we need another sprite." Jim resisted the urge to lift his crucifix and ward off the evil that was John Winchester as he turned and tried to turn the Pastor to stone with a look.

Getting herself under control Agnes re-animated the poor unfortunate sprite. "Last time today I promise." It raised 'heard it before' eyes to her and hopped back on the plate. She turned to Dean. "When you're ready."

He lit the one candle that had blown out and, silently reading the passage through once, he shot his father a nervous look and then shrugged. He started to speak. John cursed quietly but his face wore a proud smile at Dean's almost faultlessly recital of the ritual. An extremely happier looking sprite materialised on his hand, happier at least until it realised that it was missing a finger.

Dean shrugged at it this time. "Sorry."

"Fluke." They all turned to John. "I want another go." He turned to Dean. "Where did you learn to speak Latin like that? It's usually Sam that does the work on the rituals."

Dean jumped as the sprite in his hand vanished. "You know that Jim and I worked on some for a couple of the summers that we spent here and Sam's been teaching me."

"Well it looks as if we are sprite-less and I'm tired so, same time tomorrow?" Agnes blew out the candles as she spoke. John and Jim nodded and headed for the stairs but she stopped Dean from following with a hand. "So how is our LSAT studying going?"

"Fine, but I'm seriously glad that I never went to college. I don't see what any of the stupid questions have got to do with real life. I mean have you read them?"

"I sat them."

"Oh, yeah." He shook his head at her apologetically. "Ever tempted to cheat? You know use magic to get what you wanted?"

"No. I had something to prove, although if I'd failed the first time…I suppose I might have been tempted." She sat down and patted the step next to her, waiting until he sat next to her before she spoke again. "What was that with your dad and the Latin?"

He turned, a guarded look on his face. "What?"

"That recital wasn't just the result of a few summers here."

He sighed. "It actually was. Jim has spent more than a few whole summers teaching me the Latin that we'd need to ward off anything bad that might get on our tail. He gave me a book of protection rituals too. Bobby showed me some of the more complicated stuff, he's better at it than anyone I know." Dean looked at her. "Well knew, you've kinda taken his crown, he won't be happy." He grace her with a little smile. "Dad was too busy with the hunts, he didn't get the same time to learn the things that I did."

"Plus if he was the one on the hunt, you and Sam were the ones left behind in the motel. On your own, in need of the protection if your dad ran into trouble."

Dean nodded. "We had the salt lines and stuff but there was this once….."

"Something got in when you boys were on your own?" There was concern in her voice, worry for the life that the boy that had become the man next to her had been forced to live.

"It…it almost got Sam. It was my fault, I left him. If dad hadn't of come back when he did….." Dean seemed to curl in on himself as he spoke, the memory a painful one, and she put a hand on his back to comfort him. "I had to make sure that it wouldn't happen again, that we wouldn't be vulnerable like that without dad there."

"Hence the Latin."

Dean looked up. "Hence the Latin."

"So how come you don't still do this stuff? You're good enough at it."

"I still practice it, you never know when you're gonna have to be able to read something or use something to save yourself but that's Sam's role now in our little team."

She smiled. "Because you gave it to him."

"I prefer shotguns to scholars."

"And he doesn't."

Dean smiled at that. "No. Sam was never really the hands on type. My dad gave me the guns, showed me how to take them apart and rebuild them and I got it. That's what I'm good at, what I enjoy. Sam took longer and dad got on his case so I kind passed the research to him, 'cos that's what he's good at. Killed three birds with one stone; got dad off his back so much, got me off of researching all day and then having to go hunt at night and it gave my brother his own role in our screwed up little family. Win-win all round."

"See. You prove my point right there."

"What point?"

She flicked his head. "That there is a lot more going on in here than most people will ever get to know." She stood and held out her hand to him. "You included."

He gave a small laugh at that and took her hand, letting her help him up. "So you're really gonna should my dad how to summon a demon? Is that wise?"

"I am and probably not."

Dean stopped as they walked back out into the church. "Do you think that he'll do it? Summon it one day?"

Agnes sighed and nodded. "We all have to face our demons at some point Dean, real or otherwise. I'm just going to make sure that he's ready when he does. That he knows what he's doing when the time comes."

"He promised me he wouldn't."

She touched his cheek and gently stroked the side of his face with her thumb. "Yes Dean, but sometimes even promises made with the best of intentions and truest of feelings have to be broken."

"I wouldn't break a promise." His face was so serious and solemn that she couldn't resist leaning in and gently hugging him to her.

"I know, but some day even you might be tested on that." With that she let him go and headed to the house. "Come on, we've a brother of yours to get through a test of his own."

---

Saturday loomed round too quickly for all the boys liking. Dean had spent the last two afternoons just quizzing the others on random questions from the stack of test papers that Agnes seemed to have acquired and then he and Sam had gone out to the Impala; Sam to read and Dean to work off the tension he was feeling by working on the car. Paul had taken to alternating between taking a masterclass in auto repair from Dean and helping Julie-Anne in the clinic.

Agnes had taken some time off from the clinic and had turned slave driver. She worked John and Jim at the rituals until their heads hurt and then had worked the boys even harder at the test questions, taking over from Dean to given him more of a chance to answer rather than coach.

On Saturday she was waiting for them when they came downstairs. Julie-Anne had been banned from the house the previous night with all of the boys given the warning to get some sleep. Paul seemed to have taken the advice but Dean and Sam looked tired.

"Little brotherly conference last night." It was all she could get out of Dean. She knew that Sam was desperate to do well on this, to know that he had a shot at the real one in two weeks time.

"Where's Dad?" Dean had followed her into the kitchen to get a coffee before they all sat down to start.

"Jim promised to fix a parishioner's leaking roof, he took your father with him."

"Good. So where do you want us?"

"Dining room, library and I thought I'd let you sit here in the kitchen, feed your caffeine addiction while you work."

He smiled. "You know me so well. Put Sam in the library, he won't touch the books and he likes it in there, geek heaven and all."

She laughed. "Fine."

Rounding all the boys up she set their papers down and retired into Jim's living room with some work from the clinic.

---

Three Days Later 

Agnes had been avoiding them, wanting Dean to seek her out, so that she could get him on his own.

She had finished with John and Jim for the day and was in the basement of the church when she heard him slink in quietly. Boy was good, but she was better. "Hey Dean." She turned and smiled at his annoyed face. "What are you doing down here, I thought that you were going to the clinic today?"

"Little bird told me that you'd heard from your friend at Stanford?"

"Julie-Anne has a big mouth. I did." She didn't let on that Julie-Anne was supposed to tell him.

She watched as he ran his hand along the shelves in front of him. "So, what did he say? Did he finish marking the tests we sat?"

She played with her hair and shot him a coy smile. "You interested in what the marks for the mock were?"

"Duh. Yeah?" He turned to face her, a little worry on his face. "What'd Sam get?"

She shook her head at him. "Somehow I though that would be the first mark that you'd be interested in. 170."

Dean frowned. "That's good, but it's not Stanford good, is it?"

Agnes shrugged. "It would do, but we can probably get it little higher in the real one. Paul got 158."

She watched as he busied himself tidying away the table that they'd used for an altar, waited until he stopped and the little sigh escaped him. "And?" He threw the question over his shoulder at her.

"One…."

"Well I'd hoped there be a one in there." He turned. "Spit it out woman."

"Thought it didn't matter?"

"I'm curious is all."

She smiled as the forced casualness of his tone.

"145."

"Really?" His face was neutral.

"Really. Although I dare say if you hadn't thrown the last few questions that would have been a damned sight higher, Mr Perfectly Average." She walked over and stood nose to nose with him. "Don't deny it, Frank actually asked me if there was any way that the person that did the first part of the test wasn't the same as the one that did the second. He marks these things for a living Dean and he was doing me a favour, did you really not think that he'd notice? All you did was prove my point, you're not as dumb as the pretty makes people think." She turned and walked away from him, heading for the stairs.

"Would you stop calling me pretty?"

"Ok then….gorgeous, let's go tell your brother at least he's got good news, before he bursts something." She stood on the stairs. "One thing. Why? This test was meaningless. Why not try your best?"

"Because if I did Sam'll want me to find a way to go with him, it would have taken away my main argument." He locked eyes with her. "I'm sorry."

"The too stupid for college one." She sighed. "I take it you've made up your mind. Sticking with Daddy?"

He nodded and walked out the church in front of her. Ignoring the urge to sit him down and slap some sense into his thick head, she just followed him over to the house.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Dean's date with a schoolbook might not be over yet!

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. Mary xx


	40. Chapter 40

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Ok so you didn't think that Agnes would let Dean off that easily...did you? John maybe but Dean.....

Chapter 40 who would have thought! This was suppose to be a short story when it started out but it just kept evolving.

AN2 – It has been brought to my attention that I've screwed up my LSAT's and my SATs!! (Don't have these in the UK and I got confused, which really….doesn't take much! lol)

I will keep posting this at the moment with the LSAT in it and when it's finished then I'll go back and rewrite the parts that need corrected. I've got too much sitting done already and too much on at work at the moment to do the change at the moment.

Hope that this is ok and a big wave *raises hand and wiggles fingers* and thank you to Phoebe for letting me know!

Before You Go

Agnes looked in her rear-view mirror. The two brothers were sitting quietly, side by side, almost touching but not quite. Sam was nervously chewing at his thumb nail and Dean was just sitting beside him, staring out the window, providing a quiet comfort to his brother with his presence.

They pulled into the carpark of the centre that the test were being held at and piled out. As soon as his feet touched the tarmac Sam turned to his brother with mild panic in his eyes. "I don't think I can do this. I feel sick."

"You passed the mock, you'll pass this. Now get in there." Dean grabbed his arm and almost frog-marched him up and into the entrance. "You're better than half the kids here, now why don't you go and prove it?"

"Do you really think that?"

"I know it," Dean said, his voice sincere.

Sam turned, a little look on his face that spoke volumes. "Thanks for coming with me today."

His brother smiled. "I'll take you for something to eat after, seeing as how you couldn't eat anything earlier." He waved him over to a table where the candidates were being given room numbers to go to. Sam gave his name and set off down the corridor in search of his allotted room, one backward glance as he disappeared round the corner.

Dean turned to Agnes once Sam was out of sight. "Ok, so what are we gonna do for the next few hours…and keep it clean."

He didn't like her smile. "I'm going to go to a little café down the street and wait for you boys."

"And me?" He looked down as she took his arm and manhandled him towards the allocation table. "Little rough there Agnes, I'm gonna tell Julie-Anne you know."

She ignored him and spoke to the guy at the desk. "Winchester, Dean."

"Room 220." He pointed down a different corridor than the one that Sam had used.

"You didn't." Dean's look was part shock, part horror. "How?"

"I did, called in a favour. You are going to go do this test and do it right or," she moved in really close to him, "I'm going take your most vital organ and make sure that it never works again. _Ever_." She ran a finger down his front and stopped at his belt, smiling at him as she did.

The look was all horror now. "You wouldn't?"

"Try me!"

"But there's no point!" He hissed the words at her.

Her smile was cool and neutral. "You'd make an old lady very happy and she'd let you continue to be of serve to womankind as a whole….with the empathise on _whole_. There's your point."

He looked down the corridor and then back at her. "You really are a witch, but you know that. Worse than my Dad!"

"Sticks and stones….now get!" She pointed in the direction that he'd been shown.

"No."

He folded his arms and she let her hand brush his thigh. "I mean it Dean. I will. Test or testes which is it to be?"

Her eyes cast an evil glint at him. He swiped her hand away. "You wouldn't? Your kidding me?"

The hand was back and this time it wasn't on his thigh. "Never been more serious."

He squeaked as she tightened her grip. "Jesus Agnes, we're in a public place, can you stop with the groping."

"Dean?"

"Fine, fine….just….let go will ya!" She did and he stood there for a minute looking between her and the corridor. "You won't tell Sam what I get?"

"Scout's honour."

The raised eyebrows said as much as the words. "Yeah right!"

She raised her hands and put them on his shoulders. "I won't tell Sam. Please, just go do this and do it right. For me?"

"Why'd you care so much what I'd get?"

"Why'd you care so little?"

They were at an impasse and she knew that the next few seconds would be make or break time. Just for a moment she thought that he was going to bolt but then the shoulders under her hands relaxed and she knew that she'd won.

"Fine. Whatever. But I want it noted that this is under duress!"

"Noted. Now get. And I meant what I said, try or I'll put your gas at a peep, permanently." She watched as he rolled his eyes at her and huffed a huff that Sam would have been proud of before heading off.

Hoping her little victory wouldn't be short lived she headed for the carpark to wait it out.

---

Sam had chattered incessantly on the way back, not really noticing how quiet his brother really was until they had stopped for something to eat. Dean had brushed it off but Agnes knew that he was annoyed with her. She waited until Sam had gone to the bathroom to speak with him.

"Well?"

"Well what? I did what you asked. The test was completed to the best that I could do, albeit with my mind wondering to the thought of your threat of making me junkless. If my brother ever finds out what I got, even if it's bad….," he couldn't think of anything that he could actually do to Agnes, "….I'll not be happy!"

"It'll come back to me and only me. Hell you don't even have to know it if it bothers you that much."

"Then why make me do it?" He could see Sam coming back out of the corner of his eye.

"Same reason I pulled your school file, I'm nosey."

"Well in future, can you stick it in someone else business?" His tone was huffy.

She snorted a laugh. "After this I'll leave you alone, beside aren't you guys all set to go now that this is done? Sam won't get the confirmation that the application is successful until March, although I might be able to give you a heads up before then. I thought I heard John say that he had a hunt lined up in Portland?"

"What?" Sam slid into his seat and stared at them. "We're leaving already? Did you know?" The question was directed at Dean.

"No. He mentioned something about a hunt but I thought you were still working with him and Jim on the rituals?"

"I was, but he told me yesterday that you guys were leaving on Tuesday." Agnes looked as confused as Dean felt.

"Nice of him to let us know." Sam crossed his arms and huffed angrily.

"Sam! I swear to God if you start with him before we even get out on the road…._I'm_ leaving." Dean turned back to Agnes. "Does Julie-Anne know yet?"

Agnes shook her head. "No, I didn't think it was my place to tell her."

Dean coughed a laugh. "Sorry, was that you not sticking your nose into my business? What? You hoping that she can make me stay?"

"You wouldn't? Wouldn't you?" Sam sounded slightly horrified.

"What and leave you and Dad for the next eight odd months on the road on your own? No. It would be war, I mean you couldn't even manage the one hunt." Dean caught his brother's look. "Don't huff, it's true. No, I'll be coming with, when we leave."

"I could stay at Jim's too?" Sam had a hopeful look on his face.

Dean squashed it. "Thought you wanted to prove to me what a great hunter you were before you left for college? Not going do that sitting on your ass at Jim's place. Besides Dad needs help on the hunts."

Sam stabbed his fork angrily into what was left of the food on his plate. "No he doesn't, he hunted on his own before he let you go with him. He could still hunt on his own if he wanted too."

"Sam. We going with Dad and that's final." Dean stood and threw some money on the table. "Come on if we're leaving, I've got some things to do before we go."

"Like what?" Sam and Agnes spoke together.

"Like none of your damned business! Either of you. I'll meet you outside."

He gestured towards the bathrooms and then headed that way. Agnes and Sam went to sit out in the car.

"So, the test went well then?"

"I think so, I hope."

Resting her head back on the headrest she turned to him. "You'll be careful at college, won't you?"

"What?" Her question caught him off guard and he studied her as she spoke to him.

"I mean, don't let your guard down, just because you've escaped to the real world, it won't necessarily mean that you've left this one truly behind."

She reached round and took his hand and it caused him to look down. "You know that's the first time since I got bitten that you've touched me without having too?" He flicked his eyes back up to her face. "Is there something going on that I don't know about?"

Agnes shielded her thoughts from her face carefully. "No. Nothing that you need worry about. I just want to you to be careful, that's all. Don't not see something just because you wish it not to be there. You and your family should know that ignorance is not bliss, John learned that lesson the hard way with the death of your mother. Enjoy your new life Sam, but don't forget what you've learned in this one. Stay safe."

"So you're telling me that it's pointless, me going to college? That in the end this life with catch up with me?" Sam's eyes were showing glints of anger in them.

"No, not at all. It just that we can change who we are Sam, what we do with our lives but we can't ever really change what we are. Take Dean for example; he could go to college with you, maybe even enjoy it but it wouldn't change the fact that deep down, Dean is a hunter."

"Or you still being a witch, despite your degrees and your new life."

"Now you've got it. Just make sure that the people that surround you are who and what they say they are Sam, never let down your guard completely."

The door opened and Dean got in. He watched as Agnes took her hand from Sam's and turned back to face the front. The tension in the air was a little heavy and he wondered what they had been talking about but decided that the mood needed lightened more than he needed to know. He would ask Agnes later. "Tell me you weren't hitting on my brother now? Do you have any shame?"

"No, just like you and he should be so lucky!" She turned her attention back to the wheel and pulled out.

---

Monday – Early Evening

Sam sat on the steps and watched as Dean gave the Impala and his Dad's truck a final once over before they headed out in the morning.

He was lost in thought not hearing the footsteps behind him until the duffle struck him in the back. "You got nothing better to do than to sit here and admire your brother working?" John dropped the duffles at his son's feet. "Get these in the car and the truck. Is your own packed and ready to go? Have you finished off that research that I gave you to do?"

"Yes sir." Sam didn't look up and didn't say anything else. John just sighed and walked away.

He wandered out with the bags in hand and threw Dean's through the open back window of the Impala before turning, opening the truck door, tossing the duffle in and slamming the door shut as hard as he could.

"God what now?" Dean pulled his head from under the hood of the Impala and scowled at his brother.

"Nothing. It's just….he just barks orders at us and expects us to jump. I'm sick of it." Sam threw himself against the car and knocked the bottle of oil that Dean had resting on the side into the engine bay.

"Tell me something that's new." He tried to rescue the majority of the oil and save Jim's drive by kicking the basin lying at his feet in under the car. "Sonuvabitch, Sam. Get a cloth! Can't you be more careful? I don't have time to clean this all out again." He snatched the offered cloth from Sam's hand and set about cleaning up the mess.

"Sorry. I'll get out your hair, I can see that you're busy."

"You packed yet?" Dean took a deep breath and calmed himself.

"Yeah, I'll bring it down later, then it's just the toothbrushes and stuff and a few clothes to get flung in tomorrow morning. Dad say what time we're leaving?"

"Early…which means any time between five and seven. I'm trying to get Agnes to keep him up late so that I can spend a little more time with Julie-Anne before we head out."

Dean's smile made Sam shake his head as he leant carefully on the car this time. "You gonna miss her? I can see that you like her."

Dean turned his back and busied himself with the car engine. "A bit, but I've lived with moving on long enough to handle it."

"She's gonna miss you." Sam ran his hand along the paintwork. "I heard her telling Agnes."

Dean stood up and turned. "She is?"

"Yeah. Like you didn't know that already?" Sam tilted his head and smiled sadly at his brother. "She's kinda cool."

"Yeah, she is." Dean coughed to clear his throat and looked away again. "Look I gotta get this done. Agnes was taking about taking us all out for dinner later and then Julie-Anne wants to take me someplace after. You finished the research? I don't want Dad throwing a fit the minute we get to the motel."

"It's done. Did you see what he got for us to hunt, man thinks he is so funny." Sam kicked at a loose stone and pushed off the car.

"I know, but hey, you were the one that told him that you weren't scared of anything. You had to know that he'd make that come back and bite you on the ass." Dean grinned as he cleaned the spark plug in his hand. "Don't worry, I'll make sure that it doesn't get you."

"Gee thanks. He did it on purpose you know that? Probably took him this long just to find the damn thing."

"You got the brass dagger?" Dean turned his attention back to the car.

"Yeah it's in the weapon's bag. Wait, how'd you know that's what we needed?"

Dean slammed down the hood on his car and lent on it, wiping his hands on his jeans as he spoke. "I read your notes. So you ready to hit the road again? I mean we can't leech off of Jim much longer; probably outstayed our welcome as it is."

"You know Jim would let us stay here as long as we liked, that it would never be an issue." Sam picked up the various tools Dean still had scattered around and started tidying them into the toolbox as Dean closed up the truck.

"I know, but I feel we've kinda taken advantage of him this time. I mean from me getting ill 'til Agnes getting you through your LSAT….we've put him through a lot of Winchester woe." He took the toolbox from Sam and stowed it in the back of the truck. "Well guess that I need to go get cleaned up before we go anywhere."

"Me too." Sam grinned at him. "Race you for the shower." He took off.

"You little shit, get back here!" Dean tore into the house after him and almost got the bathroom door before it slammed into his face and the lock snicked home.

"Too slow old man!" Sam voice drifted through the door as the water went on.

"Yeah? But there's only one way out and I've got nothing else to do but wait." He slide down the door . "And if you use all the hot water I swear you're a dead man!"

"Cold shower will do you good if you're meeting Julie-Anne later."

"Funny, just hurry up!" He leant back and smiled at the thought of just what later might entail.

END NOTE: Dean and Julie-Anne next - a whole chapter to themselves! :)


	41. Chapter 41

Dean and Julie-Anne's last night. The longest chapter so far, and it's all them.

Haven't updated my reviews yet so here's a little thank you!

Dean And Julie-Anne

Julie-Anne held out her hands. "Keys."

Dean looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "You think I'm gonna let you drive my car again after that little stunt in the hospital carpark?" He held them up out of her reach. "Come on then, get them and I'll let you."

"If it wouldn't ruin the plans that I have for you later then believe me, you'd be in need of my mother's healing hands in the most awkward of places. As I need you intact though……I'm going to ask nicely this time." She moved in hard against him, circling him with her arms and starting to place soft kisses to his neck and ears. "Please can I drive, I want to take you someplace nice….I've got a surprise for you." She bit gently on his earlobe and slide her hands under his shirt causing him to squirm . "I'll make it worth your while?"

"Yep, bribery'll work every time." He pulled one of her hands free and curled it round the keys then slid his own over her face, pushing her hair back and pulling her up and in for a long, slow kiss.

She went with him for a minute and then pulled away slightly breathless. "Ok, keep that up and we won't be going anywhere except the backseat. Get in."

---

It was their last night together, the Winchester's were finally hitting the road again tomorrow and she wanted to give Dean a goodbye that he would never forget.

"Where are you taking me?"

She smiled as he scooted over nearer to her and lent in to place gentle kisses against her neck, his hand running over her thigh causing her to shiver under his touch. "Wait and see, and if you don't want me to crash your car…I'd stop that."

"Spoilsport." He lent back and closed his eyes but left his hand burning into the skin on the top of her thigh. She tried to concentrate on the road ahead.

"So what is this case your Dad thinks that he's found?"

She turned the car onto a narrow dirt road and Dean cracked open one eye as his baby bounced through a small pot hole in the road. "Really?"

"Really. Don't worry you can drive her back out, that's if your still able to drive when we're done here." She grinned but never took her eyes from the road. "Think you can move that hand, it's kinda distracting."

He chuckled and dropped it to his side. "So you asked about the hunt, I think my Dad hunted out this thing on purpose 'cos Sam wanted to come on the hunts from now until….he leaves." She gave him a little worried glance at the choke of emotion that caused the pause in his words.

"Why?" Slowing all the way down to make a rather tight turn she held her breath as a tree branch scraped along the passenger side of the car. She could feel Dean's eye on her, burning into her. She ignored the look. "Why?"

He shook his head at her and then sighed. "It's a Rakshasa."

"A Rakshasa? What's that?"

"It's a demon that disguises itself as a clown to trick children into letting them into the house to devour their parents."

"I don't get it?" She turned to look at him and pulled the car into what felt like a moon crater.

"Julie-Anne! I need this car roadworthy for tomorrow or my Dad is going to have my ass," he said with a little bit of annoyance in his tone.

"I'm sorry." Her laugh was wicked. "He can have what's left of both tomorrow, 'cos tonight your car and your ass are all mine."

"You wreck my car and you ain't getting my ass." He groaned as the Impala bottomed again. "Julie-Anne!"

"Sorry, sorry. The road didn't feel this bad in the jeep, anyway, you were saying, about the hunt?" She manoeuvred round the next two holes in quick succession and he relaxed again.

"Sam has this thing about clowns….don't know why…..they just freak him out. Everyone's got something that does that right? I knew when Dad agreed to let Sam come hunt with us so easily that he was up to something. Typical damned John Winchester logic, he wants Sam to stay yet I know he's gonna find the things that Sam would hate to hunt the most between now and him leaving; kid'll be glad to escape at the end of all this."

"Kid's glad to be escaping anyway." The hurt look that fleeted across his face made her smile sadly. "It's not like you won't be able to go visit him."

"I don't think I will."

"What?" She turned, took the wheel with her and nearly put them into a tree. Dean grabbed for the wheel, instinctively righting the car before metal grazed wood and glared at her as Julie-Anne brought the Impala to a halt.

"That's it, I'm driving. Over into the passenger seat!"

She squawked as he pulled her into his lap and then recovering herself, she slid her hands round his neck and pinned him to the seat. "Ok, I surrender, we're nearly there anyway. What did you mean that you don't think you will go visit Sam? Why?"

"I have my reasons. All of them are good. And I ain't sharing them with anyone, not even you." He kissed her and then looked away from her enquiring gaze.

"Need to see about that," she shrugged as she slipped off his knee. "Now let's get going again. My patience is a little bit stretched, but I am not giving into temptation and just doing it here in the car, so if you're driving…get to it."

"Yes ma'am." He slipped the car back into gear and carefully took her up the rest of the track.

---

Dean pulled the car into the clearing in the trees and killed the engine and the lights, plunging them into complete darkness.

"Well this is great. Lovely spot. Pity we can't see a…..Julie-Anne!" He groaned as she tightened the hand that had skilfully found it way into his lap.

"Just stay here, and shut up." Her lips touched his briefly and then he felt rather than saw her shift away from him, the overhead light blinking on and then off as she got out the car. A little beam of torchlight lit the ground in front of her and then she was kneeling. Dean strained to see what she was doing. The soft glow of candle light started to pierce the gloom as Julie-Anne worked her way around the half dozen storm jars that she had already strategically placed round the centre of the clearing they were in.

Opening a rather large hamper that she had sitting at the back of a collection of what looked like blankets, she pulled out two beers and signalled to him to join her.

Waiting until he had flopped down next to her, she handed him a bottle and then raised hers in a little salute and chink of glass. "To us."

He lent in and stole a kiss. "To us."

"This place is pretty in the daytime."

"It's pretty now, but that's because you're here." He stole another quick kiss.

Julie-Anne punched him gently. "Did you just try to use a line on me?"

A grin played on his face. "Think I might have. Did it work?"

"Absolutely!" She watched as he tilted his head back to drink and she suddenly wanted to lick her way down his throat, so she put her beer down and did just that.

Then they lay there, only their footwear discarded, gently kissing; cool hands exploring the hot skin under their clothes.

---

Julie-Anne threw herself back and smiled at him standing where she'd left him at the edge of the blanket. Propping herself up on her elbows she tilted her head to the side and morphed the smile into an evil grin. "Ok big boy…..get them off."

"What?" Dean shifted uneasily.

"You're wearing far too many clothes for what I have in mind and I want to get to enjoy the floor show…so strip."

"Your kidding right?" Even in the soft light from the storm jars she could see that he was blushing.

"I'll return the favour. Come on gorgeous, let's see it."

For a moment she thought that he was going to refuse and then he just shrugged and started pulling his jacket off. "What I let you make me do." He pulled his shirt and his t-shirt up and off in one glorious smooth movement, and Julie-Anne's eyebrow gave an appreciative flick as his lean, muscled chest rippled with the effort.

He chuckled at her little 'oh God' that slipped out and she eyed him hungrily. "Wait until you see the things that I am going to do to you tonight."

She watched as he slowly unbuckled his belt and pushed down his jeans, pausing with them on his hips before he shoved them down and doing a slightly inelegant hop, pulled them off. A slow smile crossed her lips as it was revealed that he wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Socks too!" She pointed at the offending articles.

Shaking his head he pulled them off and threw them at her, then he held out his hand. "Your turn. Come here."

Shrugging off her own jacket she reached up to grab the offered hand, letting herself be hauled to her feet and spun round, pulled hard against his firm, warm chest. "Going caveman on me now that you're naked and out on the woods?"

Pushing her hair to the side Dean started kissing her neck, little electric brushes of his lips that sent sparks through her skin and sizzled down her spine. "Nope, just using you to heat me up since you've got me naked and freezin' my ass off in the middle of nowhere."

The slide of rough hands up under her shirt stopped any reply.

His deft fingers worked the first couple of buttons and then he gave up and just grabbed the hem, pulled the shirt over her head. She held her hair out of the way, swapping the side it was on as his lips followed his hands that were working the straps of her bra down off her shoulders. Strong arms encircled her as he went to work on the clasp on the front, his lips finding their way back to her neck as he did.

"Dean." His name was a little broken sound on her lips as he slid his hands down and started to loosen her belt, his hands slipping inside her jeans. Popping the buttons, warm lips trailed chilling kisses down her spine as he knelt down behind her, hands brushing her skin as he slid them, and her jeans, down her legs. She squeaked as he playfully bit her backside and then picked her up and gently laid her down on the blankets. Pulling her jeans free he let his hands explore her curves, the sensation causing her to bite her lip and wriggle under him. Then he was leaning in, his body pressed to hers in all the right places. "So….you've got me here, what do you want to do with me?"

"Oh god if I could just think at the moment this would go a whole lot better." She pushed him. "Off and on your front. Now." She wriggled free as he moved to the side and she rummaged in the hamper again. When she turned back he was lying, hands resting on each other and his cheek on top of them, head turned her way; just watching her with those beautiful, soulful eyes.

"What is that?" He glanced down at the jar that she had in her hands suspiciously.

"Just a little something that I made you." Leaning forward slightly Julie-Anne kissed his free cheek.

"I'm not gonna end up purple or something am I?" He flicked her a little smile.

"No." He let out a small 'oof' as she straddled him and then jumped as she gently put the cold paste on his back. "It'll heat up in a minute."

She started to rub the paste gently into his skin, the touch of her hands relaxing him and, after the hectic week he'd had, almost sending him drifting off.

That was until he felt the tingle from the mixture on his skin; then suddenly he was wide awake.

"What the….." He tried to turn but she stopped him.

"Sssh. I've got you." Finishing his back she got off him and rolled him round, placing a rough and needy kiss to his lips and then starting to rub the paste over his chest, spreading his arms wide. Sliding her hands down along Dean's arms she slipped them into his and then lay on top of him, her kiss to his lips this time much more softer and loving. Dean groaned and a smile played on her face as he closed his eyes, his back arching off the ground when she moved her head and bit gently into his neck.

"Julie-Anne." Dean's breath came in little 'huh's' and broken whispers, then a litany of her name was gasped breathlessly as she continued the slow movement of her hands over his skin. He groaned again as the paste and her touch caused his skin to ignite with sensation.

"Sssh. Just go with it."

She avoided touching the part that she knew by now he really would be wanting her to touch; instead skimming her hands round and down his thighs, delighting in the tremors that ran through him.

"Julie-Anne." His voice was broken and needy. "Please."

"Please what?" She slid back up and cupped his face. "What do you want Dean?"

The blown pupils in his eyes answered her when his voice couldn't and Julie-Anne took pity on him then, locking lips with him briefly then smiling as he dropped his head to her shoulder. A little strangled sound escaped him when she finally relented and slid her hand down where he wanted.

"That good?" She kissed his ear as she spoke into it, circling the inside with her tongue, gently nipping the lobe. The nod of confirmation only just registered.

"Oh God!" He tensed under her and she waited until he stilled before lifting her head and locking eyes with him. Embarrassment flooded his face as he slumped bonelessly beside her, covering his face with one arm. ""What did you do to me? That has _never _happened before." He tried to calm his breathing. "Sorry." He touched his lips to hers.

"Don't be. This was supposed to be all about you. We'll get to me later."

Managing to get his hands to work he lifted the small jar. "What _is_ this stuff? I've never felt _anything_ like that before. Bottle this and you'll make a fortune."

"Nah, happy as I am. I could tell you what's in it but I'd need to kill you after." She mock-stabbed his chest causing him to chuckle.

"Damn near killed me already."

He lay back and grinned a happy grin at her. Somehow it made her want to cry. Instead she snuggled into his neck. "Poor baby. Here." Grabbing a towel she handed it to him to clean himself up and then rummaged back into the hamper again.

"What the hell are you up to now woman?" He lay there, too tired and sated to move, just eyeing her suspiciously. A little chuckle escaped him as she drew the salt shaker out. "You really have a kink for kitchen condiments, don'tcha?"

Julie-Anne didn't reply, just grinned evilly at him as she pulled the bottle of tequila and a little tub of lemon slices free from the hamper.

"Definitely trying to kill me. Take it we're here for the night?" He pushed up onto one elbow.

"Yep." Holding out the salt Julie-Anne set the bottle down next to him. "You first."

"Need to come nearer." He tugged gently at her arm.

Sliding down so her side was to his chest, she smiled up at him. "I'm all yours."

Shivers ran through her as he spilled the salt on her and then languidly started to lick his way up her stomach. He lifted his head briefly and smirked at her, a little whisper of payback being a bitch crossing his lips, then he proceeded to drive her crazy with want. He lavished attention to every inch of skin that he could get to until she couldn't take it any more.

"Stop it! Drink." She slapped playfully at him.

Dean lifted the bottle. "You drink….don't swallow though, not yet."

Raising her eyebrows she did as he asked, almost choking when he rolled her round on top of him and brought her head down to his, his lips searching hers out. They passed the tequila between them, tongues searching out the taste from the other's mouth until they had to break apart for air. She watched as he sinfully sucked the lemon slice into his mouth before it was her turn and then their tongues chased the taste of that too.

Julie-Anne managed three more shots like this before her patience ran out. "Ok, you can ravish me now, I can't stand this any longer." She rolled until he was on top, spilling tequila everywhere as she did. She didn't care.

"That's the second time you've got me all wet this evening," he laughed, and the cheeky grin lit her insides up.

"Won't be the last. Less chat, more lips." With that she reached up and dragged his mouth down to her skin.

---

They woke up to the feeling of the rain starting to fall on them. Julie-Anne went to get up but Dean's hand snaked into hers and he pulled her back to him. "Where you going?"

"It's raining?" She held her hand out and they watched the large spots bounce on her palm in the gloom. "See?"

"So? I put the clothes in the car already." He slipped his hand round her waist and pulled her closer. "Skin'll dry."

She snuggled in tighter. "But I'm cold."

Dean chuckled deeply at her little pout. "Need to see if I can't heat you back up, eh?"

Bad job she thought as the growl of his voice sent shivers down her back.

"The candles are going out."

"Well….I'll just have to feel my way around then."

One trail of kisses down her neck and she was sure that she wasn't going to have a problem with that…..or the rain.

---

The next time she woke it was light and the rain had stopped. She lay there happily in the arms of the world's best hot water bottle, not letting Dean know that she was awake, just enjoying the feel of his touch as he held her to him with one arm and gently stroked her hair with the other. Occasionally she could feel the touch of his lips as he brushed them against her neck. She didn't want to move, didn't want to break or leave this moment.

She could quite happily lie here like this forever.

He must have sensed somehow that she was awake, moving back and rolling her over to face him. "Hey."

"Hey yourself."

They shared a slow, soft easy morning wake up kiss. Little touches of lips and hands to faces, nothing heated in their exchange this time. She could feel it when he started to pull back, holding him at first and then realising that she had to let him go.

Pulling back she stared into his face and smiled softly at him. "Dean?"

The guarded look slipped back into his eyes. "Don't." He put a finger to her lips, knowing what she was about to say. "I have to go."

"I know." She hid her heartbreak by closing in again and then she put the I love you into her final kiss instead before they got up and fetched their clothes.

Dean had turned the engine on in the car to heat it up while they were getting dressed but he had only managed to get his jeans on when Julie-Anne suddenly grabbed him and pulled him to her.

"Trying to get dressed here woman. Can't do that with an armful of you." She noted though that he pulled her in closer. "What?" He smiled at her, and she pulled his shirt that he'd been putting on out his hand and through it in the car window.

"I love this song, dance with me?"

"Did you change the station? And you want me to dance? To this?" Dean laughed softly at her. "This is probably a total chick song isn't it?"

"Shut up and try to shuffle in time to it!" She gripped him close at that as the strains of the song drifted from the car.

_Maybe it's intuition, but some things you just don't question__  
__Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant__  
__and there it goes, I think I've found my best friend__  
__I know that it might sound more than__  
__a little crazy but I believe _

Dean lent in. "Yeah, total chick song." His voice was soft though, playfully mocking her.

She stood on his foot and he shut up and pulled her head onto his shoulder, resting his cheek on the top of her head as she shut her eyes, revelling in the feel of his arms around her for probably the last time. Softly she started to sing the words.

_I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life__  
__I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life ___

They shuffle round slowly, Julie-Anne only realising that he had moved them backwards when her bare back touched metal, and he pinned her against the car.

_There's just no rhyme or reason, only this sense of completion__  
__and in your eyes, I see the missing pieces__  
__I'm searching for, I think I found my way home__  
__I know that it might sound more than__  
__a little crazy but I believe_

The song played on, almost forgotten now. Looking into his eyes she thought for just one minute that he was going to say it and then he was kissing her as if she was the very air that he needed to breathe and for that moment there was just them.

_I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life__  
__I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life _

The words tore at her as she kissed him back just as fiercely. She was lost, she knew that. She didn't want to leave and he couldn't stay. And she wouldn't ask him to. She wouldn't add to the baggage that burdened his life. She loved him too much for that. Gently putting her hands to his chest she pushed at him.

They finished the kiss with a little final brush of their lips.

"We need to go." She was surprised at how composed her voice was, how normal it sounded when she want to scream at him to stay.

"Yeah." Dean turned to get his shirt and then turned back. He lowered his head and moved back in, brushing the hair from her face. "I do, you know that right?"

A little smile crossed her lips and she reached up and kissed his forehead. "I know…I do to."

With that they finished getting dressed and got into the car.

Although they shared a couple of looks they didn't speak the whole way back, each too scared of what they might say or do if they risked putting words to their feelings.

**Chapter End Notes:**

The song is Savage Garden's - I knew I loved you. I wanted them to have a song and while I was hunting through 400 odd CDs and hundreds of MP3 files, this came on the radio. It just seemed to fit and the year it was released kinda slotted in nicely too. Not too girly for Dean either!

So I had a winner. Hope you like.

Mary x


	42. Chapter 42

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Ok. I had this finished. I swear to God, I had all the chapters sitting waiting for me to post and then my friend reads it and goes 'why don't you do something to tie the end to the start?'

'Like what?' I asked and she just shrugged. She puts that out there and then just shrugs!! Anyway....the muse just couldn't let it go and so I realise that I'd left myself a little opening to have a little more 'fun' with boys before Sam escapes to college! God help me this story might outlast the damn show at this rate! So with apologies to my last chapter that is still waiting after 6 months to see the light.....here we go.

Ties That Bind

"Crap!" Julie-Anne looked away from the side window that her head had been lying on to see that they had a welcoming committee of John and Agnes waiting for them on the front steps.

"Do you two not answer your phones?" John stepped up to the door as Dean drew to a halt. "We thought that something had happened!"

"We switched them off. Sorry." Dean got out and looked at his Dad. He'd expected John to be pissed because they were late, but the only emotion on his father's face was concern. Julie-Anne got out the car.

"God Dean, you know better than that." John turned to Agnes. "Your daughter should know better too."

"Hey. Don't start on me, beside I bet they had other things on their minds than you checking up on them." Agnes walked towards her daughter whom she noticed was just standing head down, leaning on the car. "Are you ok?"

Julie-Anne lifted her head as three pairs of eyes turned to her. "I'm fine." Her voice sounded off even to her ears, so she cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm fine." Still off but lower this time. "I'm just a little tired." She turned to Dean with a soft smile and dull eyes. "I'm…, " she choked on her words, pointed towards the door. "I'm just…gonna go….in, safe journey Dean." There were tears in her eyes and she wiped furiously at them. "Call me….when you get to Portland." With that she took off across the drive and with one little look back and a rather sad smile she disappeared inside.

Dean went to follow but Agnes stopped him. "Give her a minute. You know she'll come back out to say goodbye. She wouldn't leave it like this."

He nodded. "Where's Sam?"

"Finishing packing up the last of the books and stuff we need. He's a little crabby this morning, says he didn't get much sleep."

Dean was already heading into the house and he missed the amused glance that passed between his father and Agnes.

Sam was in the dining room, stuffing some weapons and books into the appropriate duffle. He turned at the sound of his brother's footsteps. "At last! We thought you guys had had an accident or something." He stopped as he took in Dean's face. "Are you alright?"

Dean wiped a hand across his lips and nodded, not trusting himself to speak right at this moment. Sam's concern threatened to break the wall he'd hastily constructed as Julie-Anne had started to cry.

His brother seemed to sense that he was treading on dangerous ground and changed the subject. "I got no sleep last night…at all!"

"Why?" Dean had moved beside him and was starting to help load the bags.

"Those two!" Sam jerked a thumb towards the door and in the general direction of Agnes and John.

Dean wasn't really listening, his mind still on the look on Julie-Anne's face as she had ran inside. "What about 'em?"

"They were at it all night! I swear to God that if it wasn't for the fact I'd probably have been scared for life I'd have gone up and told them to quit it!" Sam squashed some more books into the top of the bag he was packing and then struggled the zip closed.

"Dad and Agnes hooked up again last night?" Dean had stopped in mid pack, his attention finally drawn to the conversation. "All night?"

"ALL night! I had to go down to the couch eventually to stop my ears from bleeding." Sam rolled his eyes. "It was…it….you should have heard the noises!" He snatched his bag from the table and heaved it onto his shoulder. "It was disgusting. I'm gonna put this in the car." He stomped off and Dean couldn't fight the little laugh that bubbled in him. He picked up the other bag and turned to leave as Agnes walked in.

"So, you and Dad? Again?" He smirked at her.

There was a mischievous twinkle in Agnes eyes.

"What?" Dean narrowed his eyes and moved into her space.

"Let just say John and I spent the night in the same room but we didn't do what your brother thinks that we did. Or should that be what we made him think that we did." Agnes gave Dean the smirk this time.

"You are a bad, bad woman Miss Kennedy!" Dean shook his head and smiled. "And…you are a bad influence on my father, which really takes something. Dad actually went along with you guys pretending that you were having sex? My Dad?"

"He was a little drunk….and I might have slipped him something to make him just a teensy bit high too."

Dean eyes widened and he lowered his voice, leaning into her conspiratorially. "You got John Winchester stoned?" He threw back his head and laughed loud and hard this time as she nodded at him. "Damn and I missed it!"

"He's quite good fun, your father, when he's not being an uptight prick!"

Dean choked on his laugh this time as Jim happened to choose that moment to walk in. "Agnes Kennedy! What have I told you about using that kind of language in front of me." There was a little smile in his eyes even as he tried his best to look stern.

"Sorry Jim, but you were behind me so I don't think your lecture counts, if I'd known you were there I'd just have called him an ass."

Dean snorted and Jim bite his lip to stop from laughing before he just turned and walked away shaking his head. "Give me a shout when you boys are leaving."

"Jim! We're leaving." John had walked in from the front door catching the last comment as Jim was heading for the kitchen, causing his old friend to stop and come back.

"You all set then?" Jim came into John's space, taking the offered hand and slapping the hunter on the shoulder. "You take care of those boys this time? You hear me?"

"I hear you. I will. Jim listen….."

Jim held up his hand. "I don't need your thanks John. You've helped me out of trouble in the past and I'm sure that you'll do it again in the future. We're a little family, you, me, the boys and those idiots that we loosely term as friends. Seeing you all up and about is all the thanks that I'll ever need."

He turned to Dean and pulled him in close, feeling the boy's embarrassment at the bear hug but ignoring it all the same. "You take care of yourself this time. Remember you can't look after your family without looking after yourself first. That said, if you ever need a place to rest you know where to find me." He let Dean go and clapped his hands. "Now where is that brother of yours? He isn't escaping without saying goodbye either."

Dean smiled at him. "Thanks Jim. It been….well fun isn't really the word is it?"

Jim laughed and then they all started to head outside but Agnes pulled Dean back. "We'll catch you up."

John and Jim exchanged a look but both continued outside.

"What's this, my goodbye kiss? Need a few minutes alone with me? Julie-Anne wouldn't approve you know."

She grinned at his attempt to keep things light but she had something she wanted to say. "You sure about this? My offer of the job still stands."

"I'm sure. I have to go."

"I know, can't blame a woman for trying though." She pulled him in, tighter than Jim had and just hung onto him for a second. He awkwardly returned the hug. "You take care of yourself and if you ever need my help, just holler. I'll get the results to you as soon as I know them and them I'll call with arrangements for Sam." She pulled back and touched his face. "I'm gonna miss your smart mouth and _pretty_ face around."

He screwed up his face as she empathised the word. "Didn't we talk about that word already? H-a-n-d-s-o-m-e, not pretty!"

"He can spell too. No end to your talents!"

"Dean?" Julie-Anne's voice make them turn in the direction of the door and Agnes stepped back at that.

"I'll get you guys outside when you're ready….just don't keep John waiting too long, I think he's about ready to implode if he doesn't get his backside on the road soon." Agnes lent back in briefly and touched Dean on the nose, a little smile on her face. "I'll never be able to have pancakes for breakfast again without looking at the maple syrup and thinking of you." He gave a little chuckle and she dropped her hand to his chest. "Be careful Dean." With that she walked over to her daughter placing a hand on her shoulder and a small press of her lips to Julie-Anne's forehead, and then she left them alone.

"I brought you something." Holding up the bag Julie-Anne stepped towards him. Dean closed the gap and stood almost nose to nose with her.

"What's this?" He opened the bag and eyed the jars in it. "You made me more of the good stuff?" Slipping his hand round her waist he pulled her close. "Won't be the same without your magic hands on me."

"Just as well it's only healing cream then isn't it?" She managed a half-smile. "I know that you bruise like a peach." She reached up and kissed him, ignoring the tears that she could feel starting again. He gently kissed her back, his free hand moving up slowly to wipe away her sadness.

"Hey, please don't cry." His voice was soft and when she looked up she could see the pain in his own eyes.

"Sorry, can't help it. Hold me?" They stood there quietly, just relishing each other's presence until she knew that one of them had to move. "Ok 'd better go." She wiped at her face again. "I don't want to keep John back any longer."

"Yeah. You coming out?" He went to take her hand but she pulled away. "No, I've already gone out and said goodbye to Sam and your Dad. I think I'll stay here." She kept her head down, unable to look up at him.

"Ok." He shuffled awkwardly. "Guess this is it then?"

She nodded not trusting herself to speak.

"Bye Julie-Anne." He dropped the bag and pulled her in for one more heart felt kiss, her lips and her skin tingling from his touch.

And then he was gone.

She let her tears turn to sobs as she slumped in the chair and let it all out.

---

Agnes gave John a hug, ignoring the sigh he let out as she did. "Behave now, no summoning until you're ready and if you need a hand….ask your son!"

"Funny." John freed himself from her grasp. "Might just have to learn how to summon you if I get stuck with the demon."

"It's my spell, you can't summon me with it!"

"Never say never Agnes." He coughed into his hand a little blush on his face. "I'd like to thank you for your help with Dean and with saving Sam. I don't….I can't thank you enough." Then his own version of the Winchester grin crept onto his face. "Even if you are an interfering old witch, your heart's in the right place."

"Did you just call me old?" Agnes raised her hand and touched his shoulder. "I never did get to turn you into a frog, did I?" There was a clear threat in her tone but John just laughed.

"No you never did, and now is really not the time."

"Lucky escape." She turned to Sam pausing only briefly before pulling him into a hug too. "You be careful too, look out for that idiot brother of yours, make him behave ok?" Sam nodded. Agnes lowered her voice as John walked away to the truck. "Same goes for you, enjoy college when you get there, stay safe until then and if you ever need me, call."

"Thanks Agnes. For everything. Getting Dean well, saving me, helping me."

"You're welcome Sammy." His protest at the name was cut off by his brother using it.

"Sammy! Move your backside, we haven't got all day you know." Dean appeared at the door and headed straight for the Impala. Agnes looked round at the tone in Dean's voice but Sam didn't say anything as he watched his brother approach, just broke away from her and headed to the passenger side of the car that Dean was now climbing into.

"Drive carefully," she called as the engine revved and the car made a fast but elegant turn in the driveway, before there was a little blast of horn, a crunch of gravel as the wheels spun and then gripped and she was off. The car tore down to the main road, swinging a little too wildly onto it, the backend tail fishing out before Dean brought her in line and opened her up fully.

John drove up to Agnes. "Guess I'll catch them at the motel then. Take care Agnes."

"Take care John." She stepped back to watch as he followed his son out at a more sedate pace and then he too floored the gas and disappeared down the main road. Jim came up behind her and touched her arm.

"I think your daughter needs you."

"I don't doubt she does." Agnes followed him in and, making a little detour to the kitchen, came in and knelt down in front of Julie-Anne. "I come bearing gifts." She held the chocolate ice cream out. "Want to talk about it or go home and just make ourselves sick eating this and watching Days?"

"Home, sick and Days." Julie held her hand out for her mother to take.

"Jim, we're going home. Your house is finally all yours again!" Agnes called into the study where she knew Jim had gone to give them space.

"Ok ladies. I'll see you at the clinic tomorrow." He appeared at the door and smiled at Julie-Anne. "You alright?"

She nodded and gave him a weak smile but he noticed the way she lent into her mother as they left. He didn't want to tell her that her and Dean having to part made him a little sad too.

----

Sam had eventually reached for a book from his duffle as Dean cranked the music up and drove as if all Hell was chasing him. He knew that Dean didn't want to talk, knew just how much his brother had liked Julie-Anne and how bad it was hurting him that he had to leave without her. Sam buried his head in the book and tried not to think how bad it would hurt his brother when he had to leave him behind eventually too.

---

Two weeks later - Toledo 

John looked up from the bed where he was cleaning weapons and watched as his two sons good natured argument over the last slice of pizza turned into a rock, paper, scissors contest. John knew Dean was going to lose even before it started. John didn't know how he did it but Dean always lost.

"Dean….always with the scissors!" Sam snatched the last piece from the box and crammed it into his mouth.

Dean punched his brother lightly on the arms. "Dude one of these days I'm gonna change my MO and you'll be screwed."

"Yeah, right! Leopards….spots." Sam weighed up the options with his hands. "Never happen…_dude_."

They were distracted by Dean's phone ringing. "I've gotta take this." Grabbing the phone he almost managed the nonchalant air before he bolted from the room.

John looked over at his younger son. "Julie-Anne again?"

Sam shrugged. "Think so. She phones every few days to see how he's doing." He dropped his eyes back to the book he was reading.

"Noticed that he hasn't been out since we left Jim's." John snapped the gun back together and laid it on the bed. "Not like him, usually I gotta nail his feet to the floor to stop him taking off to a bar after we finish the hunt."

Sam sat quiet for a moment and thought about that. "Yeah, well, maybe leopards can change their spots."

John snorted at that. Sam just raised his eyes and said nothing.

---

Dean opened the door to his car as he answered the call smiling at the sound of Julie-Anne's voice.

"Hey handsome, how's things? You're father and brother killed one another yet?"

"Nope, they haven't even so much as argued yet, which is kinda freaking me out." Dean slipped into the Impala and rested back against the leather. "How's things are your end?"

"Fine. Paul's decided he's going to stay with Jim, help me and mom out during the week and then help Jim in the church on the weekend. It's kinda nice 'cos he's got no one else and Jim's lonely too. Give him something else to do with his time except hunt evil and preach to people."

Laughing at the way she'd managed to trivialise how busy Jim was and the importance of the way he spent his time he asked her about Paul. "So….you and Paul are gonna be working together?"

Julie-Anne laughed at his tone. "You jealous or are you trying to suggest that I should hit on him?"

Dean grinned as he spoke. "Bit of both. Paul's a nice guy, you two would be good together. Wait. Scratch that thought, you'd kill the guy in a week."

"Thanks for that. You lived."

"Yeah, but I'm tough and a little wanton."

That got a laugh and then there was a little silence. "Yeah well I'm not ready to date, the last guy I went out with ditched me. Can you believe that?" She almost breathed in his low chuckle, the hairs on her neck raising as it caused a shiver down her.

"_Really?_ He sounds like a complete ass. And an idiot!" The sound of her laugh this time made him suddenly miss her.

"Totally."

"I…it's quiet without you around." He ran his free hand round the steering wheel of the car.

"You mean you haven't been out catting around? Leaving a string of beautiful woman in your wake since you left me?"

"Why, _you_ jealous now?" Dean smirked as he spoke.

"Take that smirk off your face."

"It's gone." His phone beeped. "Hang on a minute, I've got another call." He swapped between the calls. Bobby's gruff tones greeted him as he said hello. "Hey, tell your old man I think that you boys might have some trouble heading your way."

"What kinda trouble?" Dean sat up, casting a look at the closed motel room door.

"That witch John ganked for me? Seems she had a boss that isn't very happy that their favourite daughter got wasted by hunters, I've got wind that someone has been asking around after you guys and they've taken to not doing it nicely. That's how it got back to me."

Dean was out the car now, heading back towards the room. He stopped with his hand on the door handle. "Bobby hang on a minute." He flipped back to Julie-Anne. "Listen, something's come up, can I call you back?"

"What's wrong?" Dean wished that Julie-Anne wasn't just quite so in tune with his tones of voice. He neutralised the concern before he spoke to her again.

"Nothing. Just a friend that needs a hand. I'll speak to you later, ok?" He knew that she wasn't convinced but thankfully she didn't call him on it.

"Fine. Take care Dean, I'll call you later."

"Yeah. You too." He hung up on her. "Bobby, sorry."

"If you left me hangin' on the line while you were smoothing some chick I won't be happy!"

Dean chuckled in spite of the nerves he was feeling "Bobby….would I? What have you heard old man?" He went back in the motel room, his father looking up as he came in.

"Older woman asking after a hunter that travels with his two sons. She doesn't seem to have your names yet and I don't think that anyone has told her them. I just want you all to be careful. If this is a witch, or worse, and she's on your trail….."

"Yeah Bobby I know, believe me…I know."

John raised his eyebrows at the mention of the other hunter's name and mouthed 'what'.

Dean mouthed back 'trouble' and John signalled for Dean to give him the phone. "Here's Dad." Passing the phone off he went over and sat down next to his brother again.

Sam took in the look on Dean's face and sighed. "What's up now?"

"Think we might have something hunting us for a change." Dean scrubbed at his face with his hand.

"What?" Sam wasn't sure that he wanted to know.

"Might be another witch, seems the one we wasted was a friend of hers."

Sam put his head in his hands and counted again the months that he had left until he got out of this crazy life of his. He watched as his brother started to hunt through the books that were on the table. "What you looking for?"

"Protection spell for the car and Dad's truck. No bitch is messing with my wheels again." Dean found what he was looking for and then, grabbing a notepad that Sam had, ripped the cardboard from the back. Rifling through the book he found the symbol he wanted and drew it out.

"Where did you get that book from?" Sam lifted it and closed it over, examining the front. "I haven't seen this before."

"Agnes gave me it. She showed me this in case we ran into trouble. Stops someone putting a hex on the transport. I can spray paint it on the underside of the car and the truck for now."

"Can I help?" Sam stood and threw his jacket on.

"Yeah, I can get under Dad's truck but I'll need to jack the Impala. Can you get the car ready and I'll do the truck?" They were walking outside together as he spoke.

Sam grabbed the can. "Oh no. Last time I jacked the car you screamed at me for scratching the paintwork. I'll get the symbol on the truck and you can handle your baby!"

Dean grinned. "Coward." He handed the drawing to his brother and unlocked the trunk of the car as he watched Sam slide under the rear of the other vehicle. "Be careful you don't get that in your eyes or your mouth."

"Yes mom." His brother's response was muffled. "Just get on with your own damn job and let me do mine."

Dean muttered the bitch under his breath and then set about lifting the back wheel of the Impala. He was almost there when John walked out to join them. His father handed him the phone as he spoke. "What are you boys doing?"

"Protection. Agnes showed me it. It'll stop anyone hexing the cars again. I was gonna get round to doing it anyway when we stopped at Bobby's next. This'll work for now as a temporary barrier though." Dean looked up into the worried face of his father. "Well? Do we wait from her to come find us or do we take the fight to her?" Dean stood and lent against the back door, waiting for his Dad's reply.

"Neither. We find out who it is, we get ready and then we bring her to us."

"How?" Dean thought he already knew.

"I try out my new found skills." John flicked an eyebrow at him and patted his shoulder.

"You're gonna try and summon a witch? Aren't they still basically human?"

"Not in my book." He raised his hand and Dean realised for the first time what John was holding. "Not in Agnes' either."

"You stole Agnes' book?" Dean's eyes were huge circles of incredulity. "How?"

"She shouldn't have given it to Jim to hide."

"She's gonna know the minute you start with that. You really want two mad witches on our trail?" Dean shook his head as his father just shrugged. "Whatever. Your funeral. She's gonna kill you this time, you know that?"

"She'll have to get in line." They both watched as Sam slide free of the truck and came over, little flecks of silver paint over his face and jacket. He sensed the tension between his father and his brother but said nothing as Dean snatched the drawing and the paint can from his hand. "Go get cleaned up Sam, I got this." Dean grabbed a rag to cover his mouth and slide in under the Impala.

"Get you shit together as well Sam. We'll be moving on in the morning." Sam huffed but headed in.

"Get that done as quickly as you can Dean and then get your ass back inside the room. We'll lay down some extra protection for the night."

"Ok." Dean lay on the ground until he heard the door closed and then he pulled the phone that he'd tucked into his pocket free.

He sent the text – _you missing a book?_ – and waited.

He didn't have to wait long.

The phone beeped and he looked at the screen – _SOB. Where u at? - _

– _got trouble_, _moving am, let u know where. - _

The reply was quick again – _trouble? _

He typed – _witch_ – and waited.

_- where r u now?_ –

_- Toledo – _

_- I'm coming to you. call me am. – _

- _k _–

Dean put the phone back in his pocket. John was going to skin him alive for giving Agnes the heads up but still it was better than her finding out by his father using the book and it might stop John from getting them all killed.

He finished the job and went inside to help with battening down the hatches for the night saying a little prayer as he did that Agnes' found them before the other witch did.

---

Jim could almost feel the change in the atmosphere of the church as Agnes stormed up the aisle towards him. There was only one parishioner sitting in a pew at the back and he watched as her head came up and watched as Agnes closed the ground on him in long, angry strides.

"I swear to God, in his house, that John Winchester is a dead man."

That explains it Jim thought. "What's he done now?"

"I thought I gave you my book to look after?" Agnes folded her arms and scowled angrily at him.

"You did. I locked it in the church safe."

"Well John took it, and now I fear that he's going to do something very, very stupid with it!" Agnes huffed out her annoyance. "Dean contacted me this morning, his Dad is heading to Springfield, Illinois. There's a witch after them, I'm going to meet them there."

"John and his boys have a witch after them? Then I should go with you. Just let me close up the church." He stepped by her to speak to the old woman but she was already gone so he walked to the front of the church to close the doors, Agnes trailing in his wake.

She paused as she reached the pew that the woman had been sitting in. "Jim?" Calling down to the Pastor who was closing the doors she put her hand on the wood and groaned.

"What?"

"Did you know that old lady that was sitting here?" Agnes tried to latch onto the image of the woman, tried to form the picture of her in her head and was surprised when she was blocked.

"No. Why?"

"I think I might have just made the witch's job that little bit easier. I think that was her."

"Agnes!" He headed for the side door, stopping when he realised that she wasn't following him. "What's wrong?"

She looked up, her expression blank. "This witch is very powerful, she's blocking me from seeing who she is. That takes juice and skill. I can't shake the feeling though that I know her. That I know her magic."

"Well can you think about it in the car, because we've already given her a head start on us."

"Right." Still she stood there with her hand on the wood.

"Agnes? Now!?"

Finally she moved, following him out, switching to practical mode as she did to shake her unease. "I need to call Julie-Anne, tell her to take over in the clinic for a few days."

"Do we need to take anything with us?" Jim was unlocking the car as he spoke.

"No. John has my book and I figure both you and the Winchesters will have most of the things we need to hold her off until we can figure a way to deal with her."

As they drove away the woman moved from the shadows of the church out towards a small car that was parked behind it. "John Winchester. So much easier with a name Agnes isn't it?"

She stopped by the car and looked down the road that the other vehicle had taken. "A daughter of mine helping hunters. What is the world coming too?"

She shook her head to shake off the glamour, her face changing and her skin aging more as she did. "Didn't recognise your own mother Agnes, now that's just sloppy. Getting slack in your old age girl. See what happens when you don't use your gifts as they intended? People get hurt. People die."

The old woman climbed into the car and started the engine. "I fear I have been too lenient with you my daughter, let you pretend too long to be something that you are not. But now? Now you leave me with no choice. I will not let you use your gift to aid our foes. I will find your 'friends' and I will show you what you should be doing to hunters with all the power that you have inside you. I will teach you a lesson by giving them one. Death will not come easy to them and I will make you watch."

**Chapter End Notes:**

*slaps muse and friend and goes to lie down*

Mary xx


	43. Chapter 43

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Well now that you've all got over me throwing Agnes' mom into the mix, lets see where this is heading!

Opening Gambit

Dean woke to a sound that he hadn't heard in nearly six weeks. He rolled his eyes and wearily pulled himself out of the bed, rubbing his hand over his short hair as he did. Walking to the bedroom door he hitched up the pyjama bottoms that he was wearing and leant his head on the door. Tightening the waist on the bottoms, he frowned at the sound of Sam's muffled voice drifting through from the living room. "This is a bad idea in a long list of bad ideas!"

"I don't remember asking your opinion or for your advice. I'm doing this and while you're still with us you'll do as I say." John's voice was louder, edgier.

Dean sighed. "What now?" He put his hand on the handle.

"Oh yeah? Make me?"

"Shit." Dean threw opened the door and stepped neatly into the space between his father and his brother just as John tried to close it. "What the hell are you two arguing about?" He turned to his father keeping his tone quiet and even. "You had me up on watch all last night, least you could do is let me get a little sleep today."

"You've had four hours, what's your problem?" John barked in his face.

Dean's lack of sleep caused his usual calm to slip a little. "I'm tired, that's the problem."

"He's going to try and summon a witch! A witch that wants to kill us! Didn't you see what the last one almost did to Dean?" Sam almost screamed the words, right in his brother's ear as he stood still in the middle of them.

Dean pulled away from him only to be deafened in the other one by his father's reply.

"And whose fault was that?" John's scream was slightly more baritone but still, it grated on Dean's nerves.

"It's too early to be dealing with this shit," he muttered under his breath as he stepped from between them and headed for the coffee pot. "And no, he's not summoning anything."

"He's not?" "I'm not?" They questioned him at the same time. Picking up a mug, Dean filled it will hot, black coffee and downed a mouth melting gulp before turning back to them and leaning on the counter.

"No. No one is summoning anything. Not just now anyway." He scratched at his chest only then realising that he didn't have a top on and that he was cold. Plucking a dirty t-shirt from the back of the couch he pulled it on and then took another mouthful of the burning coffee, relishing the warmth and the caffeine hit. He put the mug down and stretched, clicking bones as he did. Then he just lent back on the counter, folded his arms across his chest and waited.

Both of his family just stood there waiting for him to go on.

He didn't.

"Well?" John eventually broke the silence.

"I called Agnes."

He cringed before his father even shouted at him. "You did what? Why?"

"One pissed off witch on our trail wasn't enough for you then?" Sam waved his arms at him. As least they aren't mad at each other anymore Dean thought as Sam turned on him too.

"He told you about the book then?" he asked his brother.

Sam rolled his eyes at that. "Hello, arguing with him about summoning witches….yeah, he told me about the god damned book! This stuff isn't to be meddle in lightly." The last comment was directed at his father.

John huffed. "I've been hunting a lot longer than either of you and I know what I'm doing!"

Dean echoed the huff. "Really? Because I don't remember you finishing the lessons that Agnes was trying to teach you." He held up his hands to pacify the beast that he had just prodded. "Can we just wait until she gets here and then discuss what we're gonna do or not as the case might be? Please?" The last word had a long exasperated feel to it. He looked between the two of them.

Surprisingly it was his father that deflated first. "Fine." John walked over to the table and picked up his jacket and his phone. "I'm going to go talk to Bobby again, see if he can't give us more of a heads up who it is that is after us. Sam can you get the research that you did on the other witch. See if there's anything in that which could point us in the right direction?" Sam nodded and sat down. John turned to Dean. "You should go grab another hour or two while you still can. You look like crap."

Dean shrugged. "Hell I'm up now, I'll just grab a shower and another coffee and see if I can't help Sammy with the research."

Sam scowled at the name but said nothing.

"I'll be in the diner at the end of the block, you boys lock this place up tight behind me."

"Yes sir." Dean followed his father to the door. "Be careful. We don't know if she's out there already."

"I know. I'll watch my back. Go get cleaned up."

Dean shut and locked the door behind John and then turned and leant on it, a yawn pulling itself from him unbidden.

Sam watched as his brother dragged himself across the room towards the bedroom. "Why don't you go lie down again, just for a little while? I've got this. I'll wake you if I find something or if Agnes arrives?"

"Guess I am still kinda tired." Dean yawned again as if Sam needed proof.

"Go, I've got this." Sam waved Dean off.

"Fine. Sleep wins. No more fighting if he comes back though." He locked eyes with his brother until Sam had to look away.

"I'll try. It's just….he never listens." Sam tapped his pen against the edge of the laptop. "It's frustrating. It's our lives too, he does get that doesn't he? Why does he get to make all the decisions and we just get to fall in line?"

"He's Dad. That's why. Are we gonna get into the Dad argument again or can I go sleep now?" Dean pointed to the open door that he was standing in.

"Yeah. Go." Sam turned and started up the laptop, pulling papers from his bag as he did, Dean not missing the scowl etched on his brother's face.

"Sam?"

His brother turned to him. "I'll behave. I promise. Now just go."

Dean rolled his eyes and got.

---

It was late by the time that Agnes and Jim arrived at the motel Dean had given them the address to. Agnes got out and was heading for the room number when Jim grabbed her arm. "Best call them first. John can be…..unpredictable if you startle him." Jim made a quick call and the door was thrown back as they approached, John's bulk almost blocking the entrance.

"You guys alone?" He scanned the carpark behind them as he let them by and into the room.

"We are for now." Jim gave Agnes a look and she shot him a scowl.

"It wasn't my fault. If someone hadn't taken my book I wouldn't even had been in the church in the first place." She looked pointedly at John.

The boys stopped their researching and Dean looked up with a questioning look on his face. "Why do I get the feeling that you're gonna tell us something bad?"

Agnes turned to him, the scowl fading and an apologetic look taking its place on her face. "Maybe because I am?"

John's eyes narrowed, his hands dropping as they did. "What did you do?"

Agnes walked over and threw her handbag on a chair, sitting down and running her hands up and down her thighs. "The witch found Jim. I think she was there to see if she could get information out of him."

"What?" Three set of Winchester eyes swivelled in the direction of the Pastor.

"Are you alright?" John stepped forward to examine his old friend only to have Jim stop him with a hand to his shoulder.

"I'm fine. Agnes stopped her."

The eyes all swivelled back and Agnes shrugged and coughed into her hand, giving John a weak smile as she looked up. "And by stopped he means I might have inadvertently mentioned your name and what city you guys where in when she was still sitting in the church, hence removing her reason for wanting to hurt Jim."

"You sure you're on our side?" John's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I didn't know it was her until after!" Agnes bristled. "…and I was, but swapping sides and torturing you does have it's own appeal."

They were interrupted by John's cell ringing. Dean snatched it from the table and answered it. "Bobby, what've you got?"

"Witch is onto you boys alright, last I heard she was heading for Jim's place. I've tried calling but he's not answering his phone. I left a message but he ain't got back to me yet. I'm gonna head out that way and check on him."

"Hold on Bobby." He covered the mouthpiece. "Jim, you got your phone on you?"

"Yes. It's here." The older man pulled it from his pocket. "Damn. I must have forgotten to charge it. We left in kind of a rush."

Dean just shook his head and went back to the call. "He's here Bobby, phone's dead."

"Y'all just couldn't have told me that he was there from the get go?" Bobby sounded pissed. "Some hunter. First rule's….."

"…always stay in contact. He knows. So the witch?" Dean prompted.

"Can't tell you much until I get a name but from what I hear she's left a trail of hunter buddies of your Daddy's in a bad way to get as far as Jim. In fact some of them are so bad that I'm not even slighted in the least that she missed me somehow. I haven't seen you boys for a while so maybe she found that out and passed me over for some fresher meat." The older hunter paused and let out a little sigh. "Jude Lowe's dead."

"Jude's dead?" Dean was aware that all noise in the room had ceased. Jude was a good friend of Jim's and Dean couldn't bear to look up knowing that the pain he would see in the other man's eyes would have been caused again by his family. "What happen?"

"Open sores and she blinded him. Infection killed him. I think that's how she got as far as Jim. Must 'a been bad for Jude to break."

"Jesus."

John snatched the phone off Dean and stomped into the bedroom, Jim in his wake. "What'd you mean Jude's dead?" The door was kicked shut behind them.

"So." Dean smiled over at Agnes. "Wasn't expecting to see you quite so soon again. Couldn't stay away eh?"

Agnes leant back heavily into the chair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a bad situation worse."

"Hey, she was gonna find us sooner or later. Sooner is good in my book." Both Agnes and Sam stared at him. "What? Sooner gives her less time to plan her attack before we find out who she is."

"Makes sense, I think." Agnes stood and picked up some of the pieces of paper that Sam had in front on him. "So the original witch, the one that hexed Dean, what was she like?"

"I've got a picture of her here somewhere." Sam hunted through the stuff on the desk until he found what he was looking for. "It's a bit grainy, Bobby's friend took it on his phone." Agnes stared at the photo for a long time. "Do you know her name?" Sam hunted through his notes this time. "Rachel Simms. She stayed in the town where she killed the people until she was sixteen and then she left. Overnight thing. Her mother put out a missing persons on her but she was never found until she turned back up in town just over fifteen years later and started killing people that she had gone to school with."

Dean had come over and was leaning over Agnes' shoulder. "She kinda looks like Julie-Anne."

"You think?" Agnes angled the photo round for a better look. "I suppose. I don't recognise the name. Do you have any of the hex bags that she made?"

"They're in the car." Sam snatched the keys from the table. "I'll go get them."

"I'm coming with you." Dean stepped to his brother's side as Sam stood.

"Dude I think that I can manage to go to the car on my own!"

"Not when there's a fugly hunting us down you're not. I'm coming with." Dean grabbed his jacket.

Sam huffed but didn't argue, knowing that there was no point. "We should go get food for everyone anyway." He turned to Agnes. "You hungry?"

She nodded. "A little. Can you get me a cheese sandwich or something. What about Jim?"

Dean went off to see what his father and Jim wanted and then came back through. "Ok, let's go."

Agnes turned her attention back to the notes and pictures in front of her as the door closed, lifting the photo of the witch back up. "You're right Dean, she does look like Julie-Anne, like I looked when I was her age." The concern niggled at the back of her mind again and she turned to Sam's notes on the hex's and details that he'd marked down on the contents of the hex bags.

---

She had been sitting there for only a matter of minutes when something banged up against the outside of the motel room door. Standing she called to John and Jim as she cautiously approached it.

"What is it?" John took in her stance and pulled his gun from his waistband, flicking the safety as he did.

"Something or someone's outside." She turned in his direction. "Could be the boys….."

John nodded to Jim and covered the door as the Pastor moved towards it and the window that was beside it. Sliding back the curtain, he looked outside. "It's Dean." He turned back to them. "No Sam."

John tossed the gun at the man, ignoring the fact that the safety was off and stepping forward pulled the door open. Dean fell into his arms.

"Dean!" His t-shirt was ripped and there was blood on his chest. "Dean?" John's voice had a frantic sound to it.

"Let's get him in." Jim handed Agnes the gun and then moved round to help John lift his stricken son. Dean groaned quietly as they pulled him towards the bedroom.

Agnes took one look outside, satisfied herself that Sam wasn't with him and then went into the room to check on his brother. John was trying to bring Dean round to full consciousness. "Dean? Dean? Can you hear me? Where's Sam? Dean!"

His father shook him and Agnes moved in between them, gently pushing John off. "Let me check him."

She slid into the space the John vacated and took Dean's head in her hand not happy with the tingle that she felt as she touched him.

"This has to be the witch right?" Agnes nodded but never took her eyes of the stricken Winchester or stopped talking to him. "What's wrong with him?" John knelt down next to Agnes' leg and put a hand to Dean's forehead, frowning at how warm he was. "What has she done to him?"

"It's a spell of some kind."

Her look silenced the 'well duh' that John desperately wanted to utter.

"I won't know what the spell is exactly until it starts to work, but it won't be good. This is it just settling in." Agnes grabbed the bottle of water at the bedside and forced Dean to drink a little of it.

"She took my son. I'm going to kill her if she's hurt him." John turned to head for the door. "I have to find Sam."

Jim stopped him by stepping into his way. "That's a bad idea John."

"I don't care."

He went to try and push passed again and Jim grabbed his jacket. "Well I do! If she's taken Sam then she's gone John. The witch isn't going to hang about for us to find her and take him back! You're going to sit on your backside and behave until we can figure out what to do." He turned to Agnes keeping his hold on John. "How's Dean?"

"Witch downed him with a shock." Agnes pointed to bruising on Dean's neck. She slid his shirt up fully to reveal the marking that she had glimpsed earlier. It was a mark that she recognised, a hex designed to debilitate for a short time rather than kill or maim. She wiped a little of the blood on Dean's chest onto her fingers, taking it between her fingers and rubbing it into her skin. "This is Sam's blood."

"How would you know that?" John glared at her.

Agnes glared back. "Because I can feel it. His blood is different to Dean's, it's different to everyone's. This is his." She held her finger up for inspection then she turned back to Dean running her hand over the mark on him. "This is a hex, I've seen it before."

John freed himself from Jim's grasp and walked back over. "Can you do anything about it?"

"I don't know. I…..this witch scares me and I don't know why. It's like….." She stopped and stroked her hand through Dean's hair as he started to become agitated. "John I need you to wait outside."

"No. I want to be with him."

"John, I have no idea what is going to happen when this hits. I can't be worrying about you when I should be helping your son. Please. Wait outside. We'll be fine. I won't let anything happen to him. You know that."

He was torn between being there for his son and getting in the way of Agnes helping him. Finally he stood. "I just be outside if you need me."

Agnes squeezed his hand and smiled her thanks then turned her attention fully back to the now rousing Dean.

Jim pushed John out and closed the door.

Dean's eyes flew open and he looked up at the ceiling, seeing something there that existed only in his head. "Mommy?" The word was spoken so quietly that Agnes almost missed it.

"Dean, what do you see? What's happening?" She touched her hands to his head again and had to fight herself not to remove them as the pain of whatever Dean was seeing leeched its way into her.

The spell was blocking her from helping him with her own magic and the thought almost struck her as odd until Dean cried out and all her own thoughts and feelings were replaced by his.

She knew now what was happening, realising it as the spell began to take its hold on Dean. The witch was toying with them. As she thought, this spell was a short one designed to cause maximum pain without her even having to touch her victim. It was one that Agnes was shamed to admit that she had used herself.

It was going to make Dean relive the memory of every nightmare that he had ever lived through and then it would let him go. All Agnes could do for now was hold onto him and help him ride it out.


	44. Chapter 44

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Dean's spell and a little moment between Agnes and him.

This goes much longer and I'll be reusing chapter titles!!

Past Pains and Future Fears

"Mommy? No….no….no. Mommy." The voice was childlike, real fear and distress sounding in it's tone, despite that fact Dean was still almost whispering the words. "Mommy died, mommy died, mommy died….." He repeated it over and over again until Agnes thought that she might go mad. Then the idea struck her. She groped in his pockets for his wallet. "Sorry Dean. It's not what you think." Finding it she pulled it out and almost shouted out loud when she found what she was hoping for. Studying the picture for a moment, she dropped it on the bed and quickly recited the words that she needed. Then, dropping her head down she ran her hands up and over her head, her grey hair altering to blonde as she did. She put her hands back on Dean's head and forced her way in this time, reaching for him and pulling him to her.

"Dean. Look at me."

Not sure that this would work, Agnes pulled his head down until his eyes looked directly at her, and her heart leapt at the little flutter of recognition that sparked there. Mary Winchester's face looked down at her son and a smile lit it, her voice soft and reassuring as she spoke. "Dean honey, it's me. Mom's here. It's ok now."

"Mom?" He reached up a hand, lost half way between the burning figure in his head and the vision he was scared to touch that was before him. The hand halted before it could grazed her skin. " But you burned. You died." He finally touched her, fingers ghost over her face before he pulled her down towards him, hugging her to him, the emotions in his thoughts causing tears to drop from his mother's eyes as Agnes could no longer ignore the pain that ran through him as he spoke. "I saw you. I saw you burn." He touched her hair, his head resting now against her, little sobs of anguish causing his breath to hitch. "I saw it. I saw its eyes."

The thought that Dean had watched his mother's demise caused her to shiver before she spoke to him, comforted him. "It's gone now Dean and I'm here. Mom's here. I'll always be here Dean, watching over you. Even if you can't always see me. You know that." Agnes kissed his head. "You know that."

She felt him relax in her arms and the pain left them, but she didn't let go her grip. Agnes knew that it wasn't finished. The spell was hunting for its next memory to torture Dean with. Rocking him gently she readied herself for its next assault.

They came thick and fast, changing from random thoughts and feelings to images graphically displayed in her head as he called them to life in his own. John shouting at him. Sam arguing with his father. Pain from an injury on a hunt. A fight with a kid at school. It was like someone scanning through a film for their favourite bit and Agnes knew that it wasn't Dean that had the remote. She was getting a five second preview of each but Dean she knew would be getting the full surround sound effect. She hugged him a little tighter as he trembled in her arms.

Then she held her breath until it settle on a vision of a shop.

Dean's emotion this time was fear and…she fought to put a name on the other feelings that were riding through them both. Shame. Anger. Guilt. Whatever this particular memory was Dean did not want to go there. That's why the spell had picked it.

It was just a little corner shop, like a thousand other corner shops and she was in Dean's head but she was watching it too and that was freaking her out a little. Agnes knew what he was thinking of doing, watching and feeling him struggling with his decision. Finally, he took some of the packets of soup that were on the shelves and stuffed them into his waistband, pulling the shirt over them. She felt him look longingly over at the bread and the milk, could feel the small amount of coins that he had heavy in his hand, even as she could watch him count through them. It's not enough, his voice echoed in both their heads.

She cried out from fright as she felt and then saw the man grip Dean's arm, shaking him like a rag doll, calling him a thief. Agnes wanted to scream at the man that couldn't he see the boy was hungry, as she watched and felt Dean's fear at being dragged into an office and thrown against a wall. The man was shouting at him, lifting the phone, starting to call someone. Then Dean was clutching at him, and she could hear in her head him begging the man not to call the police, telling the man that he was sorry. Telling him that he'd do anything.

She watched as the man turned to him, a look in his eye that she did not like at all, a look that caused Dean to step back against the wall and freeze. She could feel the pain of his heart hammering in his chest now, the fear that he was cornered and he had just left himself nowhere to run.

The man was saying something to him that Agnes couldn't hear properly but the intent was clear as Dean's fear level spiked sharply, Agnes feeling his terror in the real world as he spoke the one word that drove the fear into her own heart. "No." She fought the spell then, it didn't matter if she couldn't break it, she hoped to bend it though, maybe even find a way to fast forward through this particular memory but it refused to be budged. She had no choice but to go back in and just be there for him.

His words chilled her as she allowed herself to be pulled back in. "Please." She heard him whisper. "Don't make me do this." Steadying herself she talked softly to him, aware that he couldn't hear her any longer but giving him the reassurances anyway. There were hands touching Dean's face, touching her face, sliding down to his shoulders and she felt the tremor of fear again. "Show me how sorry you are?" The man's voice slid into her head, and she shivered herself this time.

"I can't." Still she felt it as Dean allowed himself to be pulled nearer.

"Don't Dean." She spoke the words out loud.

"I'm sorry." She didn't know who he was apologising too as the Dean in the memory raised his head. There was something off about his eyes, a cold, hard glitter in them that looked wrong. He had shut down behind them somehow.

Agnes thought she knew what was coming here, she thought she knew what Dean was going to let happen but then the wave of guilt hit her so hard that she struggled with it as much as the man that was half lying in her arms did.

She righted herself in his memories again. Something was wrong here. She had missed something in the memory, a switch of power.

Dean was no longer the one in danger.

Dean was circling the man, pulling away even as the man stared at him with disbelieving eyes. Then it hit her. Dean had a knife. There was blood over his hands and shirt. If it wasn't for the horror that Dean was feeling Agnes would actually have cheered. She lay down then, beside him on the bed, and stroked her hand through his hair trying to ease the tremors that were now coursing through him. "It's ok Dean, you did what you had to."

She had one last impression of Dean kneeling beside the man and then the fast forward started up again, the flickering images almost causing her to feel sick before they slowed and then stopped completely. The sound of John's voice rattled in her head. "I told you not to leave this room! I told you not to let him out of your sight." The pain his guilt caused was crushing as she stood and watched John cradle what she presumed was a very small Sam in his arms.

The Dean that she was cradling in her arms in much the same way was openly sobbing now. "I'm sorry," he whispered. She watched the small boy stand there dejectedly, pain at his father's fury with him etched on the face in front of her. The feelings of loneliness and desperation that radiated from him now tugged at her soul and then the images where moving again.

The hits just kept on coming, hard and fast now and she really was no longer comforting him, they were both just trying to ride it out to its end. There were brief flashes of the hospital, the hex, Sam injured and then Julie-Anne. Pain, worry, guilt and finally heartache all flooded her and they both were crying now. She tried to comfort him. "It's ok Dean. It's over. I've got you."

She was startled by just how quickly he moved, from the first slow movement of his head coming up to take in her face to the speed with which she found herself pinned to the wall on the other side of the bed, his knife resting in the space between her ribs. He was still kind of out of it, she could see that, a confused look on his face but there was the same cold glitter in his eyes that she had seen in his memory and Agnes realised that she might just be in trouble here.

"Who the hell are you? What did you do to me?" The knife scraped flesh.

"It's me. It's Agnes."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" He screamed at her this time, raising the knife to her face as he did.

"Dean, please," she begged. "It's Agnes, I promise." Her hands were pinned and she tried to work them free as she spoke.

"Then what's this?" He spat the words at her as he pulled her hair up for her to see and it hit her. The glamour. He was seeing his mother.

"It's not a trick Dean. I was trying to help you. The witch put a spell on you. Do you remember?"

He raised a fist to his head never letting the pressure of the knife to her neck lessen even as he did, using his weight to pin her against the wall. "Spell? I…I….you're trying to trick me!"

"DEAN!" The commanding voice caused both their heads to turn. John was standing in the door, staring a little open mouthed at the sight before him. "Drop the knife! That's an order!"

She felt Dean's body shift slightly back, watched as he looked to her and then back at the figure of his father in the doorway." How do I know you're him? How do I know that this isn't another trick?"

Agnes slide her hand free as John spoke.

"It's me. You know it's me Dean. Drop the damn knife." She took advantage of Dean's indecision, bringing her hand up to his head and pressing her palm against his forehead as she recited the incantation. The knife clattered to the floor as Dean sank to a heap at her feet.

John was on her in a heartbeat. "What the hell is this?" He tugged at her hair, fury and pain in his face as he took in the glamour.

"I was trying to help him." Agnes went to kneel down and check on Dean but John pushed her away, moving in himself. He put his hands under his son's arms and legs, lifting him gently back on the bed, turning to Agnes.

"Well it isn't helping him any more, loose it. Now!"

She used her hand to free herself of Mary Winchester's image and then sat down on the bed opposite John, Dean lying between them.

"What happened?" John didn't look up, just kept carding his fingers softly through his son's hair.

"She got into his memories. Took the worst ones and turned them on him. Made him go through them all again. Starting with losing his mother, hence the glamour. I thought if I could reach him….."

"I'm going to kill this bitch. I swear to God I'm going to rip her friggin' head off and if she has so much as touched Sam…." He stopped as Dean groaned and opened his eyes. John lent in and put a hand behind his son's head. John smiled as long lashes flicked back to reveal green eyes. "Hey, you ok?"

Dean lay still, just looking at his father.

"Dean?"

Agnes and John exchanged a quick look and when they look back Dean was staring at Agnes. "Was that you?"

She shifted closer, taking his hand. "It was a glamour. I thought it would help."

He flashed a look to his Dad. "Could you get me a drink?" John was being dismissed. They all realised that. He took his hand from his son's neck. "Sure. You take it easy for a bit alright?"

Dean nodded and waited until his father had closed the door before he turned back to Agnes. "Was that you?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"In my head, in the store. You saw it didn't you?" She could feel his agitation growing through the hand she was holding. "What I did to that man?"

"It was me. I saw some of it. I know you hurt him. Do you….do you want to talk about it?"

He sat up so quickly that he almost knocked her onto the floor. "No." Dean moved right into her face and she had to back up, the look in his eyes scaring her a little. "I want you to stay away from me. I want you to stay out of my head." He stood and his wallet and the picture still lying on the bed caught his eye. He picked them up, took one last longingful look at the picture of his mother and then tuck it and his wallet back where they belonged. Steadying himself against the wall, he got his bearings and then walked over and opened the door. The backward glance that he gave her made her angry and sad at the same time. Dean had finally put his walls up against her too.

"You're welcome for my help, by the way." With that, she stood and followed him out.

Dean was standing with his father and Agnes could hear him asking Dean what had happened outside, how the witch had got the jump on him. "Sam was getting the hex bags from the car, she came up behind me. I didn't hear her until it was too late." Dean rubbed at the mark on his neck. John frowned.

"What happened to Sam?"

"I don't know. He was still at the car when she took me down."

Dean turned to Agnes with that same look in his eye, the one that she neither liked nor could place. Deciding to call him on it she stepped forward. "What's your problem with me all of a sudden? Was it because I saw things in your memories? Felt things that you would never admit to ever feeling? What?"

Dean smiled but it wasn't a happy one. "No, not really. I just don't think that you can help us anymore on this one. I don't think that you'll want to help us on this one. Not now."

Agnes put her hands on her hips and tilted her head at him. "And why the hell would I not want to help you now, considering the things that I've already done for you all?" She came in close. "Do you think me watching you hurt someone that was trying to hurt you would make me not want to help you?"

Dean snorted softly and shook his head. "No." He turned to face his father and Jim. "I saw the witch. I know who she is. I've seen her before in a picture. She's older now, but still….it was the eyes."

They were all staring at him now.

"Who was it?" Agnes asked, but she had the horrible feeling that she wasn't going to like the answer.

He walked towards her. "The witch that took my brother….was your mother."

Agnes knew it, the minute he said it, she knew that it was true. All the little feelings that she had been having collided in one moment of realisation. She rallied herself before she looked up again into his eyes.

"Well if that's the case, you're going to need me a lot more than you think."

---

It was dark when Sam opened his eyes. His head hurt like a bitch and he could still feel the cut from the knife on his forearm. He tried to sit up but something stopped him short before he got even a few inches off the cold, hard surface that he was lying on. His neck had some sort of collar on it which appeared, from the clanking noise every time he moved his head, was attached to some sort of short chain. Tilting his head up he looked down his body. All he had left on was his jeans. His jacket, shirt, socks and shoes where all missing. This, he thought, isn't going to end well.

He tested his arms and legs to see if he could move them but they too were bound to the table he was on. Sighing he let his head bang back down and closed his eyes.

---

Dean was wrung out, physically and emotionally from the little joy ride that the spell had taken him on. His head hurt, his heart hurt and his body ached from trembling that the memories had caused to spasm through him. He had needed air and space to get his head back together and to think. John had protested but Dean has insisted that he would be alright. So now he was sitting outside the motel's reception on a little bench, relishing the coldness in the air and worrying about his brother. He searched through his pockets and closed his hand round his phone.

Bobby answered on the second ring.

"I've got a name."

"Hello to you to. I'm fine thanks for asking. Ya gonna tell me then or do I have t' guess?" Bobby's gruff voice made him feel better, he didn't know why, it just did. The man had always been there for him, he knew now wouldn't be different.

"Abigail Kennedy. She's older, late sixties. Had two daughters, Anne and Agnes." The sigh trembled through him.

Bobby's spider sense was tingling. "What happened?"

"She got Sam. She took my brother. I need to know where she is Bobby."

"I'm on it kid. You got any leads at your end to follow?" Dean could hear Bobby already shuffling books on his desk and that pulled a small smile from him.

"I've got something better than a lead but I'm not sure if I can use it or not."

Bobby growled down the phone. "Well that ain't cryptic at all. Care to enlighten me further?"

"Her daughter, Agnes? She's Jim's friend that's been helping us. She been really good to us Bobby but really, would you choose your friends over your family if it came down to it?"

"Got yourself a little bit of a pickle then and not sure that you wanna bite? Not that I'd expect you to understand this but I would pick my friends, every day and twice on a Sunday. My family are a bunch of deadbeats that never come near me unless their looking for somethin'."

Dean smile wider a little at that. "What you mean like us?"

Bobby chuckled. "At least your Daddy returns the favour or you fix my cars for me. I'd pick John and you boys over any of my kin."

Dean didn't know what to say to that so he sat silently waiting for Bobby to continue.

"Good God Dean, did I just leave ya lost for words? There's a Kodak moment right there kid if ever there was one. Listen, I'm on this, if she can be found, I'll find her. Call me if you get a heads up or if you need me to come help. I know what a hindrance Jim can be."

That got a laugh. "I'm telling him."

"He knows already." Bobby cleared his throat. "You be careful now, don't be doing nothing reckless just 'cos it's your brother. Do you hear me?"

"I'll be careful." It sounded a hollow promise even to his own ears. "Bobby, thanks."

"Anytime kid, now go talk to Jim's friend, see what she has to say."

"Ok. Bye." Dean hung up the phone and leant back, closing his eyes and rubbing his head with his hand.

"Penny for them?"

Dean startled. "Jesus….Agnes….do not do that!" He tried to get his heart back in his chest and to stop it beating wildly as she sat down next to him.

"Sorry." The silence yawned like a chasm between them until Agnes reached over and took his hand. "We still good?"

Dean looked down at the fingers that were wrapped around his and nodded. "Sorry. I was kinda out of order back there, in more ways than one." He squeezed her hand tightly. "It's just…..this is your mom. You know? How can you take our side against her, even with what you told me….she's still your mom."

Agnes sat back. "What do you remember about your mother Dean?"

He looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

"What was she like? I mean I've seen the picture, she was beautiful but what is your strongest memory of her when she was alive?"

Dean fidgeted awkwardly. "I remember that she used to sing to me. A lot. When I was sick or when I couldn't sleep…..we had this old rocking chair that sat in the spare room, the one that ended up as Sam's nursery, and she would sit in it with me on her knee and sing to me."

"What else?"

He freed his hand and started to play with the ring on it. "She always told me when she tucked me in at night that an angel was watching over me. That it would keep me safe."

Agnes smiled softly. "That's sweet. She sounds like a loving and wonderful person, just like her son." She touched his face briefly. "Do you know what I remember most about my mother from when I was little?" She turned her back to him and pulled up her shirt a little. "I remember her beating me with her mind because I'd screwed up a spell and ruined her good table in the kitchen. I was ten." Dean took in the long pale scars that ran across the base of Agnes' spine. "That was just the first time but it's the one that sticks and hurts the most. Her damn table was of more concern to her than I was. Oh she healed me after it but still…..not exactly mother of the year."

She shivered as she felt Dean trace the lines on her skin and then he leant in resting his face against her shoulder, sliding his fingers and then his arms round her, pulling her into a comforting embrace. Lifting her own arms she placed them gently to his back and hugged him back. Worry filled him as they sat there. If Abigail was capable of doing this to her own flesh and blood what was she doing to Sam?

"She isn't getting my brother. No matter what I have to do, I'm getting Sam back."

"I know. I'll help you anyway I can. Even if it means that I have to…."

He sat back and put his finger to her lips to silence her. "It won't come to that. We won't let it come to that."

Agnes took his hand down and smiled sadly as she stood. "You don't know my mother. It might have to." She let go and went to walk away from him but her grabbed her hand back, pulling her to him.

"Do you really think that you could kill your own mother, no matter how bad it gets?" He wasn't judging her, he was just curious.

"Abigail stopped being my mother a long time ago Dean, now she's just a witch that wants to harm some people that I happen to care about. I gave her the benefit of the doubt once and I lost my sister. I won't do it again." She freed her hand and he watched her as she walked back towards the motel room.

"I swear to God if she hurts my brother, you won't have to. I'll kill her myself."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks again for reading and sticking with this tale.

Mary xx


	45. Chapter 45

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

A little more of Abigail's plan is revealed!

I Feel Your Pain 

They had sat all day, on the phone, heads in books and arguing with one another about the best course of action. Jim and John were pacing whilst talking on the phone, Dean was in the bedroom, reading and doing his share of the calls and Agnes was sitting at the table, trying to work a locator spell whilst trying to finesse details of her mother's whereabouts from one of her friends. She had tried everyone that she knew but had come up against the proverbial brick wall.

Hanging up the call with a sigh she threw the phone on the table causing what she was working on to jump and slid off onto the floor. "Damn!" Reaching down she picked up the remains of the map and set it back on the table. "She's blocking me and funnily enough my mother's friends aren't willing to tell me where she is. They don't believe me when I tell them that I just want to talk. Imagine that!" She dropped her head to the table with the sound of the crack it made against the metal resounding in the room. "Ow."

"If you damage that we have to pay for it," John said as he walked by in search of more coffee. She flipped him the finger, making him chuckle despite himself. "So no joy then?"

"No." Peeling her face off the table Agnes rubbed gently at her throbbing nose.

"What about trying to summon her?" Dean had walked out to see what the noise had been and the dejected look on all the faces told him that they had all had as much luck as he'd had.

Agnes shook her head. "My magic is her magic, unless she wants me to, I can't just summon her."

John frowned. "But I thought was the whole point of a summoning spell, to _make _them come to you?"

"It is, and it would work if she was demon, or a werewolf or anything else but what she is. She's a witch and she isn't just any witch. She's the one that gave me my power to begin with. She gave me life and with that some of her powers crossed to me. I can't use her magic against her, and the spell I need to use, it's hers."

Dean crossed his arms and leant back against the door frame. "So basically you're tell us that you're useless. You can't use your magic, which is basically her magic, against her."

Agnes smiled at Dean. "Such narrow mindedness. Not _all _my magic is hers. I've learnt a few tricks of my own over the years. If we can find her, believe me I've got a few things that I can throw at her."

John looked over at his son and took in the black circles that were starting to form under his eyes. He was still worried about what Agnes had told he about the hex Dean suffered and that the boy looked about dead on his feet. Tiredness and worry were etched into his son's face. "Why don't you and Jim catch a little sleep? Agnes and I will do some more calls and research and then you guys can take over in a little while. No point in us all being dead on our feet," he said voicing his thoughts.

Dean went to protest but Jim stopped him. "Please don't make me have to sleep in the room with your Daddy or Agnes snoring their heads off in the bed over from me. You can't help your brother if you're too tired to function Dean."

Not want to show just how much he actually would relish getting an hour or two of sleep to freshen his thoughts Dean tried to protest again but John stayed his argument with a look.

"Go get some rest, that's an order!" He folded his arms and stared at his son until Dean had to concede defeat and look away.

"Fine, but you wake me if you find anything!" He glared pointedly at his father who nodded.

Once Jim and Dean were gone and the door closed John sat down across from Agnes. "If she doesn't want to be found is there anything else that we can do?"

"I'd love to tell you yes John, but really, I'm not sure." She gathered up the stuff in front of her. "You keep calling and I'll try the locator spell on Sam again. Maybe if I keep chipping at the wall she's put up I can find a crack." She reached over and took John's hand. "We'll find him, someone somewhere must know where she is."

"What do you think she's doing to Sam?" He noticed that she dropped her eyes down to stare at the table as she replied.

"She wants you dead John, not him. You were the one that shot the other witch. She'll hurt Sam to hurt you but she won't kill him, at least not yet. She likes to pluck the spider's legs before she squashes it. I'm just surprised that she didn't take Dean too. That worries me that she's got something else planned for him."

"That's reassuring." He pulled his hand away and went back to his calls.

---

Sam cried out as he was rudely pulled awake by the hair. "Wakey, wakey, Sam Winchester. Time to play."

"Who are you?" He struggled to turn his head as she walked behind it.

"Don't you know?" Suddenly her face was in his, startling him and causing him to pull away only to be brought up short by the chain.

"No." There was something familiar about her, he just didn't know what.

"My name's Kennedy, Abigail Kennedy. I believe you know my daughter?" She smiled at him then, looking for all the world like an ordinary, sweet, old lady….except for the madness dancing in her eyes. "I must say I knew my daughter kept bad company but hunters? That's a betrayal of everything that she was brought up to believe in. I mean….would any of your family take sides with a demon over their own kin?" He didn't like the knowing look that she gave him. She drew a nail along his arm and his skin just seemed to slice apart. She pushed a finger into the cut and it pulled away bloody. Sam insides curled as she licked his blood off the digit and grinned at him. "Your blood is very special. Very sweet. I can't wait to spill the rest of it."

"My Dad and my brother are going to kill you. See if they don't."

"Such bravado." She walked over and lifted something from the table in the corner of the room. "Let's see about that."

Pulling his head down she rubbed at the bruise on his neck that sat just above the collar. "You know your brother has the companion to this on his own neck. Would you like to see what they are really for?"

Sam felt fear take his arm and try to drag him to a bad place. "Can I pass on finding that out?"

"'fraid not." She touched the mark and then drew her hand over his stomach, a quiet chant easing from her lips as the blood started to ease from the wound that she had inflicted on him.

---

"Sonuvabitch." Dean curled into a ball as the pain slid into his insides. It felt like someone had sliced him open with a sharp knife, a razor cut of agony across his stomach that had him scrabbling for something to cling to and ride it out. He grabbed his pillow and bit down, smothering the scream that wanted out. It eased but didn't go away completely. Behind him he heard Jim shift in the other bed.

"Dean? Are you ok?" The bedsprings creaked their annoyance at being disturbed as he stood.

Dean couldn't answer, the pillow was still locked between his jaws as a fresh wave of pain hit home. He snorted sharp, short breaths through his nose willing it to end but this time it kept coming, wave after wave hitting him in the gut.

He felt Jim's hands on him, heard him say something and then there was nothing as he passed out.

---

Sam screamed as she slit his belly again and again with the implement in her hand, wanting not to but just not being able to hold it in. "Please…..please stop." It hurt to breath, it hurt to cry.

"Too much? Pity. I was just getting started, but I guess I don't want to kill you the first time that I get to play. Sleep now."

Abigail touched his head and he passed out.

She healed the worst of the wounds and then left him, wishing she could see the other end of the leash that she had on the two boys, watch the other one suffering. Watch the father's reaction to it all.

---

Dean opened his eyes to three concerned looking faces. "What?," he said as he tried to push himself up into a sitting position only to fall back with a noise that he would deny later was a scream. "Now I'm pissed." He glared at Agnes. "Now I am so very pissed."

Turning onto his side he surveyed the damage to his stomach. Long black bruise marks ran across it, each one hurting more than the last as he ran his hands over them. "What the…..?"

"It's her. She did this to you." She glanced up at John and Dean felt alarm knock pain off the top spot of the emotions that were running through him.

"How?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly and waited. Agnes bit her lip.

"Well, she didn't actually do this to you." Leaning forward she touched the mark on Dean's neck. "See this. I thought it was a mark left by her shocking you. It's not."

Dean moved his own hand to his neck. "It's not? What is it then?"

"It a link, a binding one." She looked at John again.

"Oh for God's sake Agnes just tell me. What does it link me to?" Dean's anger managed to tip pain back to the top of the pile and he groaned as he clutched his stomach.

"Not what. Who. It links you to Sam."

The look that greeted her when he met her eyes was confusion. "Sam?"

"You feel what he feels."

Confusion turned to cold rage. "So she hurting him and I can feel it?"

Agnes nodded. As Dean looked down again as the lines on his stomach he was reminded of the ones on Agnes' back. "She doing to him what she did to you." He tried again to push himself up, ignoring the pain this time. "We need to find him, need to stop her."

Both Agnes and John pushed him back down. "We will." It was John that spoke. "I swear that we'll find him and that we'll make her pay for hurting you both. You though need to rest, you're hurt."

"Screw hurt." He managed to get all the way up this time even with his stomach muscles screaming their protest at the movement. "Pass me my duffle."

John placed it on the bed beside him and Dean rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for. Agnes eyed the jar as he pulled it out. "Julie-Anne?"

He nodded. "Julie-Anne."

"I love my daughter." Agnes took the jar from him. "Lean back."

"So do I." He leant back slowly and balanced his weight on his arms which he stretched out behind him.

Agnes slapped the cold cream hard against the blackest of the marks. "Might have warmed it before you did that." He let out a pained hiss and scowled at her.

"Works better cold. Is it helping?" Her touch on his bruised skin had gentled as she started to rub the cream in.

The groan that passed his lips was heartfelt. "Yeah. How come you didn't do the magic fingers on me?"

"I did. This is it better. You should have seen it before you woke back up." She realised that this was the wrong thing to say to him even as she said it.

"It was worse. How much worse?" He was pushing her off now, sorting his shirt and trying to stand. The room swayed violently and he would have gone down if it hadn't been for his father's quick hand to his elbow.

"Dean, for Christ's sit back down before you fall down." John threw him roughly back down on the bed trying to ignore the pained grunt the action drew from his son. "She's hurting your brother and it's bad, does it really matter how bad?"

"It worse for you because you feel the actual pain of the cut and Sam's pain too. I want to try something that might help Sam." Agnes stood and walked through into the other room leaving them all staring in her wake. She grabbed her bag and pulled a smaller one from the inside. Coming back through she sat next to Dean again, ignoring for the minute his expectant look. Opening the bag she took a small blue crystal from it and then tossed the bag itself onto the bedside table. "I need you take your shirt off and lie back, oh and I want your amulet too."

Dean shrugged off the shirt obediently but hesitated with his hand on the necklace that hung round his neck. "What do you want with this?" He clutched the amulet in his hand as if almost expecting her to tear it from him.

"I need the cord to hang this from." She held up the crystal between her fingers. "You can leave the amulet on it. It won't interfere with what I'm going to do."

Still he hesitated.

"I can help Sam." She held out her hand. Dean handed over the amulet and lay back. Agnes reached down and pulled the small dagger from his ankle sheath and slit the knot off before he could complain.

"Hey. That unties you know!" He went to snatch it back but she lifted it out of his reach.

"Sorry." She shrugged at him and then slid the crystal on to the cord and re-tied it. "Put this back on."

Checking that the new knot met his approval and that it was tight enough, he slipped the necklace over his neck and waited. Touching her hand to the mark on his neck Agnes started to recite in Latin. Dean tried to keep up with what she was saying but she was speaking too fast for him to pin a lot of the words down. Then she touched the crystal on his neck and the world turned grey and cold.

"What the hell?" It was a basement room, he could tell that just from the cold, damp air of the place. That says a lot about my life he thought as he tried to move his head. There was something round his neck, and it wasn't just his necklace, that was making it hard for him to swallow or move far. Agnes' voice was still there but it was quieter now, muffled somehow. He tried to take in the room but his range of movement was limited and he struggled to see anything useful. It was then that it hit him. This was his brother. Agnes had shoved his spirit or his soul or whatever you wanted to call it into his brother's body. She was healing him back in the motel room and his brother was feeling it too. Dean could feel it. There was a noise and he turned his/his brother's head. Sam's voice reached him then, drowning Agnes' out. "She's coming."

The speed that he was yanked back at was like being on a bungee rope, the image blurring until he was looking at Agnes again.

"What did you just do?"

Agnes smiled. "I used the connection that she had made to let you feel your brother's pain and turned it on her. I used the crystal to heal you and by opening the channel let it heal Sam as well."

"So you put me into my brother? Can I tell you how weird that makes me feel?" He sat up and noticed that the bruised marks on his stomach were gone and he no longer felt any pain.

"Wait. Run that by me again?" Agnes tilted her head and gave him an odd stare.

"When you did that….whatever….I was inside Sam, I could see what he could see, feel what he could feel."

"You were in your brother?" Agnes' look was disbelieving.

"Please don't phrase it like that, but yeah, you joined me to him somehow. He's in a basement but that was all that I could see."

"You were there, in the basement with your brother?"

Dean sat up fully. "I'm I speaking a foreign language or have you suddenly gone deaf? What part of _I was there _don't you get?"

"All of it." Agnes smoothed her hair back and started to tie it up in a ponytail, fidgeting with it as she thought about what Dean has just told her. "It was just suppose to project the healing through to him, I have no idea how I managed to project you through as well." She picked up the amulet from his neck and turned it over in her hand.

"What is this? Does it do anything?"

"Sam gave me it, for Christmas one year. Far as I know it's just an amulet. Why? Do you think that it caused your spell to alter somehow?" Dean looked down at the object in Agnes' hand. He'd never thought of it as anything else that just a gift from Sam, a treasured possession.

"Maybe. I don't know. So you were there, with Sam?" Agnes dropped the amulet back to his chest.

"Yeah, it was like you'd super imposed me onto him, I don't think he knew it was me, just that someone was helping him."

"That's interesting." Agnes sat looking at her hands, lost deep in thought.

"Care to enlighten us as to why?" John's voice brought both their heads up and round to face him, twin expressions on them as if they had forgotten that he was there.

"Sorry?" Agnes looked confused for a moment before she dragged herself free from where ever her mind had gone. "Sorry, I was just thinking, if I can get Dean back through to Sam, I might be able to use the locator spell on him instead of Sam. We might be able to find him this way."

"Then let's do it then!" Dean almost shouted, on board with the idea straight away.

"Just wait a minute!" John held up his hand. "You don't know how you managed to do it the first time but you want to try it again? What if it goes wrong? What happens to Dean?"

"Who cares? It's our only shot at finding Sam and we're taking it. End of discussion." Dean grabbed Agnes hand. "Do it!"

Agnes looked at John. "It might be the only way to find him."

"And what if your mother doesn't like us interfering in her little game like that? What if she hurts Sam more because of it? What if she hurts Dean?"

"Shit." Dean lay down on the bed and rolled over onto his side.

"Dean?" Agnes could feel the tingle in her hand, she knew what was happening. John move in closer beside her.

"What's happening? She hurting Sam again?" Agnes just nodded, feeling John's anger building next to her like a storm. "There has to be something that we can do?"

"There is. We help Dean and the he can help Sam." She knew it wasn't the answer he was looking for but it was the only one that she had for now.

Dean's groan of pain brought their attention back to him. He arched his back slightly and brought his hand round to rest on his spine, more little exhales of pain escaping him as he did. Agnes moved her hand round to cover his and tried to help him ride it out as best she could.

"Shit. That hurts. Oh God….hurts." Dean's face contorted in agony as a particularly fierce jolt of pain shot through him. "Dad." He let go Agnes' hand and reached out to John, gripping his father's hand tightly when John held it out for him.

"Hey, kiddo. It's ok. I'm here." John squeezed his son's hand back as Dean cried out again and John tried not to think that what was hurting Dean was hurting Sam too.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks folks, Mary xx


	46. Chapter 46

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hello!

Another update that swaps between Agnes and Abigail. It's gonna get worse before it gets better....if it gets better. *laughs evily*

A mother's love...or not.

Abigail walked in and put some stuff down on the table that Sam couldn't see then she came over to him, taking in his better colour and the fact that his wounds had now healed completely. Frowning she touched the mark on his neck, and then let out a small laugh. "Agnes, Agnes." Moving further down the table he was lying on she smiled at Sam in a way that made his blood run cold.

"I see that my daughter has found a way to help you. That's inventive of her. See how well I've taught her?" Abigail placed her hands on his chest. "This one is just for you, then we'll start the game with your brother again." She pulled her hands into claws, her nails piercing and ripping Sam's skin, causing him to groan as it began to hurt. "Like that do you?." The witch chortled in his ear. "Wait until you see this one." The energy flowed through him like electricity, burning his insides and finally pulling the scream from him. Abigail waited until Sam's head sagged against the collar and then she started to loosen his restraints. The younger hunter was now in so much pain that she knew he couldn't do anything to hurt her. She rolled him gently onto his side and placed one hand against the back of his neck and the other to the binding link.

"Time to let Dean in on the fun. Let's start with something simple this time and work our way up. What do you say?" Taking Sam's groan as her permission to go ahead she ran her hand down his spine relishing it as Sam's screams filled the air around her. Her eyes danced with amusement. "Come on Agnes, show me what you've got."

----

Dean bit back the scream that was rising in his throat. The pain was reaching unbearable, it felt like someone was trying to rip his spine from him. He tightened his grip on his father's hand, knowing that it had to be hurting John but unable for now to let go. Closing his eyes he tried to breathe through it.

"Help him!" John growled at Agnes.

"I'm trying!" she bit back at him. "Get the map! If we're going to have a chance at doing this it has to be now."

John shook him head. "But she's there, with Sam. You want to send Dean through into that?"

"I don't have a choice if you want to find Sam. Get the damned map John….now!"

Freeing himself from Dean's grip he almost ran through to the other room, grabbed the maps and the bag that Agnes had been using and hurried back. "Here." He opened one of the maps at her feet and set the bag down on the bed beside her, then he quickly took his son's hand again feeling Dean's grip tighten on it the minute he did.

"I don't know if that's a good idea John, you touching him when I try this." Agnes cast him a worried look as she opened the bag and saying what sounded to Johns' ears like a little prayer, tipped some of the contents out onto the map.

John didn't look at her, just kept his eyes on his son's face. "Don't care. Get on with it."

Agnes threw him a look but said nothing. She touched the mark on Dean's neck, ignoring his pain filled cries and started the recital.

----

Abigail felt it. The presence of the other. Sam cried out again as she touched his face, turning it round to look at her. "Is your brother here Sam? Is he with you? Trying to help and comfort you? If he is, does that mean he can see me?." Abigail came closer looking into Sam's eyes as if she could see inside him. "Can't have that. Don't want to tip off the enemy, let him see what's coming his way. It's so much more fun when you don't know what's coming for you." She covered Sam's eyes with her hands and spoke softly into his ear.

---

Agnes' voice was hypnotic and John could feel himself starting to drift on it too, the tiredness in him rising up and threatening to take him before he shook it off and turned his attention back to his son. John felt it as Dean's hand relax slightly, his breathing easing and the tension in his body go as Agnes moved him through to be with Sam.

"It's working. They're starting to move." Agnes' voice pulled him away from watching his son's face, making him look down at the map on the floor. The little grains of rice that Agnes had dropped on it were moving, marching like little ants, here and there across the surface until one stopped. John looked closer and realised that it had stopped over where they were just now. It circled the town and then it took off, leaving a little burnt trail in its wake as it headed across country to its destination. He watched fascinated as it circled a town about thirty miles away and then ground to a halt just outside it.

"Is that were she is?"

Agnes' checked the map and made a funny little sound when she saw where the grain had come to rest. "That's it, and I even know where in the town she'll be. We used to live there for a spell, there's an old school house on the outskirts, my mother's friend lived there." John waited knowing that she wasn't finished. "I should have thought of it before." She looked back up at him. "It's the last place we stayed before I left, before my sister….."

"Hey, there is no way you could have known that she'd be there." John reached for her hand with his free one. "So, let's get this show on the road." He turned to Jim who had been standing quietly in the doorway. "Can you stay with Dean? He's not up to helping with this and with her already having Sam….."

"I'll stay John. Don't you worry about Dean, I make sure that he's safe." Jim stepped forward and gripped his friend's shoulder. "You just go get your other boy back."

"I'll get Dean back now." Agnes took Dean's hand from John and the older hunter stood and started to move into the other room. She had started to reverse the ritual but stopped as Dean started to haul himself up. A curse slipped his lips as the pain ripped through his spine, causing tears to fall from his eyes and him to slump forward against her. Agnes felt a little flare of panic at how hard his heart was beating in his chest, feeling the frantic drum of it against her as she tried to call him back to her. "Dean?"

He was stuck somewhere in the middle, lost between the twilight world that his brother was in and the harsh lit room of the motel, unable to leave or get to either. He could hear Abigail talking to his brother, hear Agnes calling to him. Then Abigail was moving and for a moment her image became stronger, her hand came into view and then Sam's world went black. Seconds later Dean's did too.

---

Abigail moved to the table, quickly mixing the contents of a few jars into the glass that she had sitting there, smiling as the concoction bubbled gently for a time and then settled. Lifting it she walked back over to Sam and putting her hand under his neck forced him to drink it down.

"Watch this for a trick Sam. So your brother want to help heal you and my darling daughter thinks that she has found a way." She chuckled and then reached down to the wounds on Sam's chest again, reaching in this time and pulling hard. Sam screamed. It felt that she had pulled his whole insides out through him. "Come out and show yourself."

---

Agnes could feel it. Abigail was holding Dean, keeping him locked between them and she dug in deep, changing the spell slightly, trying almost to summon Dean back to them. He muttered something that she didn't catch and she leant down closer to him. "What is it Dean, can you tell what she's doing?"

He turned his head towards the sound of her voice but she could tell that he couldn't focus on her. "I can't see. She didn't something. I can't see."

"Dean listen to my voice, please. Concentrate on it. It'll help me pull you back."

She realised that John was hovering again nearby as he spoke. "What's wrong?"

"I can't get him back. Go away. I need to concentrate." She gripped both of Dean's hand now, even as she was aware of John stepping back into the other room. "Dean? Dean!" She started the ritual again, almost got all the way through it as she felt the pull. "NO!" Closing her eyes she blocked out everything except the man in front of her, her lips now moving silently as she desperately tried to keep Dean with them, even as she felt him start to slip from her grasp.

----

The scream in the room this time wasn't Sam's. Abigail stepped back from the boy on the table to take in the one that was now lying at her feet on the floor. Kneeling down beside him she rolled him over onto his back.

"Hello Dean, I really didn't intend to have you gatecrash my party in this way but now that you're here, well, now we're really going to have some fun. I just need to make sure that no one can interrupt us first. Be a good boy and don't touch anything whilst I'm gone." She patted his head gently and walked to the door, locking it behind her as she left.

---

"Agnes!" John watched in horror as first Dean seemed to vanish right in front of his eyes and then Agnes collapsed on the floor. He gathered the fallen witch up in his arms even as he continued to stare at the spot where his son had been.

"What the heck happened?" Jim knelt beside John, instinctively checking for Agnes' pulse as she lay prone in John's arms. "Where's Dean?"

"The bitch took him, that's what happened. "Get the car round, bring the Impala, it's got more room in the back to lie her out on. We need to go Jim and we need to go now. Dean's keys will be in his jacket, it's over the chair in the other room." The pastor hesitated a second too long. "GO damn it!"

Jim was moving then, grabbing Dean's keys and almost running out to the car. By the time he had her started John was in the doorway, Agnes draped in his arms. The pastor got out, opened the back door and then crawling through the car opened the other from the inside. He helped John slide Agnes in feet first and then watched as the other hunter slid into the back seat with her, cradling her head in his lap. "We're good, let's go."

Jim slammed the rear door and slid into the driver's seat, pulling quickly out onto the main road. "Where am I going exactly?"

John pulled the map from his inside pocket. "Here, there's a burn trail across this, follow it as close as you can."

Jim went quiet as he tried to study the map and negotiate the big car, turning her a hard left to get onto the right road.

"Floor it Jim. All the way." John dropped his head and turned his attention back to Agnes.

"Fine. What do we do when we get there if Agnes doesn't come round." Jim risked a glance in the rear view even as the road straightened and the car edged to the hundred.

"If Agnes can't help, then _I'm_ gonna kill the bitch myself, with my bare hands if I have to."

John's growl was full of intent to harm. Jim didn't doubt for a minute that his friend would do just that. He put his eyes back on the road and his foot harder on the pedal.

---

Dean groaned and rolled over onto his back instantly regretting it as the pain bolted through him, his spine screaming its protest at the movement. Still he let the weight of his body continue the roll and flatten himself on his back, letting his arms drop out to his sides and his feet to roll outwards. He opened his eyes but his world was still just a velvety shade of black. Since he could feel that he was no longer on the bed he had a pretty good idea of what had happened.

Somehow he had ended up in Abigail's cellar with his brother.

The thought of Sam had him moving, despite the protestations of his body parts. He rolled back over onto his side, gathered his knees up and with a small cry managed to end up on them, his forehead touching the ground. "Sam?" He tried to get his arms under him too to push himself up but for the moment it was just too much damned effort and he slumped back down, forehead kissing the ground gently, looking for all the world as if he was praying. _If I'm down here anyway? _He pleaded silently for the strength to stand. _Please, if I can just get up on my feet._

"Sam?" Worry filled him as his brother failed to response for a second time and that was all the incentive that Dean needed to gathered himself and crawl slowly across the floor until his fingers closed on cold, wet plaster.

A wall.

He worked his way round it until he hit something solid, a little curse escaping as it was his head that had made the discovery, and turned and slumped against the wall. Letting his body out the scream that had built up in it he waited until the pain eased a little and then he reached for what he now knew was the leg of a table. Hauling himself up despite the fact that his back was screaming blue murder at him for the movement, he managed to get semi-upright and fall onto the top of the table and his brother.

"Sam?" He checked the features with his hands; his brother's mole, the long hair but he already knew that it was Sam and he clutched his brother's hand like it was a lifeline, using his other one to check Sam's pulse and his breathing. Alive but out.

"Sammy?" Shaking a shoulder, Dean tried to rouse his brother, check that he was alright, but his sibling stubbornly refused to wake and Dean's knew that despite the help of the table, he wasn' t going to be able to stand for much longer. Moving his hands down he started to look Sam over for any injuries, cursing as his hands touched wetness. He tasted his brother's blood on his fingers.

"Sam?" Dean started to shake his brother harder, willing him to respond in some way. He didn't. He just lay there still as death under Dean's own now shaking hands. He had to give up, he couldn't hold himself upright any longer. Putting a hand back behind him he found the wall again and let himself slid down between it and the leg of the table, his back drawing another anguished scream from him as he did. That's when he realised that Abigail had come back in the room, that she had been watching him. "Get your jollies did you? Hurting my brother! Making him bleed!" He screamed the words not really knowing exactly where she was, just that she was there. A hand passed over his head and he felt his heart tighten in his chest as it did.

"Your brother really is a screamer Dean, but what I did to him is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you. I wanted your father to see the pain that I was causing your brother through you but Agnes, well alas she has spoiled that for me. So now? Now I want your father to feel the loss of a child the way that he made me feel it, feel the loss of the one that he raised to take his place in the fight when he had fallen. That's what he did to me, took away the one that was finally to take my place, the one that I had raised and groomed to let me rest, sound in the knowledge that my work would be continued. Now though, it will die with me." Her lips touched his ear as she caressed the side of his head with her hand. "But not before John gets to see his legacy die too."

Dean raised his head, his face brushing hers as he did. "She wasn't your child, she was just some scank that you pick up to replace the daughter that you let die and the one that couldn't stand to be near you anymore. My dad just put her down like the sick dog that she was."

"Ah, so Agnes has told you our little family tragedy. That must mean that she had got close to you." He could hear the smile in her voice. "That's good. Perhaps I'll get to kill two birds with the one stone. Break Agnes' and your father's hearts the way that they both have broken mine." He could feel her breath on him as she paused. "Now where was I….yes…..such hurtful, disrespectful words about my progeny. Don't you know that its not nice to speak ill of the dead. Someone might take offence. Punish you for it." She pulled him forward and ran her hand over his back. "Maybe a little more spell work will make you mind your tongue." With that she tore his shirt from his back and dug her nails into his skin. "Open sores are a little speciality of mine. All that beautiful pain that deepens as the infection sets in. Death coming as a slow and painful thing. Enjoy."

He could feel his skin tearing open wherever she touched him and he slumped forward into her, unable to keep himself upright any longer. She pushed him off when she was done, letting him drop painfully onto the ground and then she stood. Satisfied with her work for now Abigail went to prepare for her next arrivals, sure that they were coming and relishing the thought of seeing her daughter again.


	47. Chapter 47

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hello!

Back again, and things are taking a little step up in this one! Enjoy.

A View To A Kill

Julie-Anne could feel the first prickles of fear on her skin as her mother's phone went to the answer phone yet again. "Hey it's me. Again. Are you still with Pastor Jim? Did you find John and the guys? Did you get your book back? Is something else up? You better call and let me know what's happening. I mean it mom!" She closed the phone and then tried Jim's. It didn't even ring, it just went straight to his service.

"Damn!"

Drumming her fingers on her mother's desk she stared at the phone her hand for a long time before she dialled the next number, knowing that if Dean didn't answer then there really was something going down. When it went to voicemail she reached down and pulled the key she needed from her mother's drawer. Walking over to the cabinet Julie-Anne opened it, pulled out the couple of books that she thought she might need and went looking for Paul.

-----

Concern flowed through John for the woman that was lying prone on the seat next to him, her head resting on his lap, breathing shallow and uneven. "Agnes?" He gently ran his fingers through her hair, loosing off the ponytail that she'd pulled it into earlier and massaging her scalp softly. She shifted slightly under his touch but didn't waken.

"What are we going to do if she doesn't wake before we get there?" Jim risked a glance in the rear view mirror.

"Abigail might be a witch but basically she's still human. Gun'll still work on her, slow her down at least."

"Think she's just going to let you walk in and shoot her do you?"

John's eyes locked with his for a moment before Jim had to look away, so that he wouldn't kill them by crashing the car and because he could see the flame of rage that was glowing in his friend's dark eyes. "She's got my sons Jim, I don't intend to wait until Agnes wakes while she's doing God's know what to them."

Tightening his grip on the wheel Jim tried to reason with him. "You can't help them if she gets you too John. We need a plan."

John however wasn't prepared to listen. "No, we need Agnes but since we don't seemed to have her, I'm going in. I want you to stay with Agnes though, see if you can wake her and if anything happens to me, I want you to get my boys out if you can."

Resisting the urge to just pull over and toss the keys to stop John's charge, knowing even as he disagreed with him that John was right, Jim still argued his point. "Oh no. There is no way that I'm letting you walk in there on your own. I'll think of something better than just point and shoot John."

John's voice was a growl in reply. "Well you'd better hurry then."

Jim groaned as they passed the sign welcoming them to town. John Winchester was on self-destruct and he had to find a way to defuse the bomb without it blowing up in all their faces.

---

Sam knew that the person that he could hear in the room was Dean even if his brother's breath was coming in painful sobs and even though he couldn't see him. He just knew. His brother was lying somewhere on the floor to the left of the table that he himself was lying on. Sam's chest was on fire, his back hurt and he was sure he had what felt like cuts on it but for some reason that he couldn't figure at the moment, they didn't seem to be bleeding.

Sam tried to call his brother's name but the word caught in his throat, only a pained croak escaping him. That left him with only one course of action, even if it meant that he was probably about to add to his pain levels, major big time. He did the only thing that he could think. Hoping that his brother wasn't lying too close to the table and that it wasn't too high, he stole himself and rolled over and off the edge, dropping to the floor with a jar of bones and a soft cry.

His brother's breathing was nearer him now. Waiting until his body stopped screaming at him for his rough treatment of it he gingerly stretched out a hand, almost letting out a cry of joy as it closed on an arm. "Dean?" He forced the word passed his lips this time, shaking Dean's shoulder gently as he did. Frowning at the lack of response he tried again and was rewarded with a pained "Don't."

"Sorry." Sam let his hand just rest on his brother's arm, wanting to check that he was alright but wanting more just to lie beside him, comforted by Dean's mere presence alone. His brother was with him now, Dean would know what to do.

---

Dean didn't know what to do. Sam was next to him, which was a comfort but he also knew that his brother would be looking to him to get them out of this and Dean had no idea how he was going to do that. He tried to push up again, tried to ignore the pains in his back, but the effort was just too much and he slumped down. His movement caught Sam in the chest, Dean's back hitting it, drawing yet another moan of pain from them both. "Sam?"

"I'm here." Sam's voice was close now, right behind him. "You ok?"

Dean snorted a laugh even though it hurt like hell. "Friggin' peachy."

"Me too." Sam cried a little pain filled laugh into the back of his neck.

"Is there anything in the room that we can use against her? Use to get out?"

"There's a table with stuff on it, but I don't what and I can't see, she did something to me…." Sam voice hitched a little and he lent in closer to his brother.

Dean reached for, found, and patted his brother's hand as reassuring as he could. "I know, she did it to me too. Let's just see if we can find the table. Can you stand?"

Sam nodded and instantly realised his mistake. "Yeah, think so. You?"

"Not on my own."

Taking his brother's wrist Sam worked his way back to the table he'd been lying on and then using it to aid him, pulled himself to his feet. Getting his balance and steadying himself Sam spoke to Dean. "Give me your other hand." It took a moment but finally he had a grip of both of Dean's wrists. Using the table again Sam hauled his brother to his feet, ignoring the pain in his chest and his brother's cry as he did. He kept his hold tight as he felt Dean sway away from him before righting himself. Sam couldn't help notice how much his brother was leaning on him. Hoping that his legs could support them both he put an arm round Dean's waist and pulled him against his side.

"Unless your planning on buying me dinner first, I think you can take the arm away Sam." Dean's jovial remark was a little forced but Sam didn't call him on it or remove the arm.

"I'll even get you flowers too just as long as you don't fall on your ass and take me with you." He pulled on Dean's arm and put it over his own shoulder a little edge of worry creeping in at just how badly his brother was hurt as the expected resistance to the move failed to materialise.

"No idea why you can't get someone to lay down for you bro', your wooing skills are awesome. So forceful." Dean grinned and then realised that his brother couldn't see it.

Sam knew he was though.. "Wooing? What are you…..a ninety year old woman?"

Dean would have hit his brother for that remark if he'd have had enough strength to do more than just hang onto him, without looking like he was hanging on of course. "Bite me. Where's the table?"

"Over here I think."

"You think?"

"Blind Dean, and I was lying down when I saw it, now I'm on my feet I'm not sure of the direction, but this feels right."

"Oh it feels right? Well it must be this way then." Dean let himself be half dragged in the direction his brother wanted them to go, crying out as firstly his back screamed its protests loudly this time at the movements and then again as his hip connected sharply with the bottom edge of the table. "Think I've found it. Thanks for that."

"Shut up and start looking for something that we can use against her." Sam sighed and let go of Dean, making sure that his brother had a good grip of the table before he started to feel his way round the objects and bottles.

---

John opened the car door to get out almost before Jim had her completely stationary. He gently lifted Agnes' head, trying to slip out from beneath her without hurting her in any way. The small groan that his movements elicited from her lips made him look down and he smiled as her eyes flickered opened.

"Hey there, thought we'd lost you for a moment." John freed himself from the car and turned to kneel down next to her head that he'd rested down on the seat.

"Almost did." Agnes slowly pulled herself up, using the seat in front and John's arm to right herself before she slumped back in the seat, her head resting on the parcel shelf. "Bitch. I should have seen it coming." She brought her hand up and pinched the skin between her eyes.

"Seen what coming?"

"Why she only took Sam"

"I thought that was so that we could see what she was doing to him, because she was doing it to Dean too. A double whammy."

"Make that a triple whammy. She knew that I would have to heal Dean, that I couldn't stand and watch what she was doing to him. She knew that I would find the link and use it to heal Sam too, in face she probably damn well counted on it. She laid out the breadcrumbs and I followed them, let her lead me right by the nose!"

John and Jim exchanged a look and she sighed at their expression.

"Don't you get it? I drained my powers trying to help the boys. She played me. One good thing though, means that she was worried about what I could do to her if she's stacked the cards in her favour before we even get started." Agnes looked over at the old house that they had parked down the lane from. "Never thought I'd ever be back here again. You got my bag and my book?"

"I've got them." Jim retrieved them from the front seat of the Impala and handed them to her.

Thanking him she looked up at both of them. Go scout around, see if you can find a way in. I need a moment….alone."

The two men looked at her, but both nodded and started off towards the house, Agnes' voice stopping them before they got too far. "Just remember….whatever you hear….do not go in there without me ok? You have no idea what you're dealing with." Jim nodded but John just looked at his feet. "John?" He met her eye, shrugged and walked away. "John!"

He kept walking.

"Whatever you've got to do Agnes…," Jim gave her a thin smile, "…..I'd hurry." With that he turned and followed John over to the building.

"Damn it." She opened the book, found what she wanted and then pulled a few items from her bag, starting the spell even as she did.

---

Dean smiled as his hand closed round the item on the table. "Hey Sam. You find anything?"

"No, just some bottles, but without knowing what's in them I don't really want to open them."

"Don't touch them Sammy. I've got something we can use. Give me your hand back." Dean slid his free hand over to where his brother should be, grasping onto him and pulling him back to the floor when their hands touched.

"What are you doing?"

"I need you to sit still Sam. I've got some chalk, I'm gonna draw a protective circle around us." Dean pushed his brother into place and then had to sit a spell until the pain in his back subsided enough for him to start drawing the circle. He started with the internal sigils first, trying to bring them up in his memory and imagine what they look like as he drew them on the floor around them. Using Sam as a leaning post he worked his way round his brother, making Sam place a finger on the start of the circle so that he could find it again once he has worked his way all around.

"One down," he said as he finished the first circle, "..one to go." He moved out to start the outer circle, Sam almost lying down now to reach it's edge.

"Hurry up Dean, she could be back at any minute."

"I'm hurrying." He was halfway round when they heard her approaching.

"Dean hurry!" Sam could feel it as Dean tried to move round him faster, hear it as the door opened and her footsteps drew near. Then he felt Dean's hand touch his and he smiled. They'd done it.

"Well, well. A protection spell? More than just pretty looks to you then boy?"

Dean grinned in what he hoped was the right direction. "Whatcha gonna do now bitch?" He was sure that he didn't like the low chuckle that escaped her.

"I'm going to gut you and your brother."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Fear was prickling the hairs on his neck, worry filling him now that he hadn't done the circle right, that Sam had moved his hand.

"NO!" Sam let out a startled cry and Dean clutched at him and missed as his brother was pulled away from him.

"Should have made sure that all of your brother was inside the circle Dean boy. Such long legs that he had to unfold them. Cramp can be a bitch, eh Sam? Was in hurting to sit with them scrunched up under you?" She tightened her grip on Sam causing him to groan. "So Dean, I mean, you're safe. So you can sit inside that circle and listen as I kill your brother….or you can join him. Either way, you're going to die Dean, I mean inside or outside, what's the difference."

She twisted Sam in her hands again, pulling her hand over his stomach, watching as the blood started to drip from the wound. "Time's ticking Dean. You can't save him, you know that. Are you really going to sit there and listen to him die on his own?"

"Don't do it Dean." Sam's voice was shaky with pain. "Don't."

It was his brother's request not to that got him moving, sliding to where he thought the edge of the circle was and holding out his hand. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

She pulled him to her, sliding her hand across him, slitting him opened too. "My pleasure. Now all we have to do is put you both in the right place and wait for Papa Bear to show." Dean felt it as he was pulled upwards, grabbing and managing to catch hold of his brother's arm. He suddenly knew what she was going to do, knew what crushing sight would await his father. "I think he'll like all the research that I've done on your family in the last few days. Your little reunion is going to make him feel right back at _home_." She smiled up at them. "Time to let you boys see what's going on, see your father's face when he see the little surprise that I've set up for him."

Dean stared down at her and then cast his eyes to his brother, seeing his own horror at what was about to happen reflected in Sam's eyes even as the flames licked gently at them.

---

Jim pulled on John's sleeve. "Wait on her for God's sake man. She'll only be a few minutes, and she's much more capable of dealing with her mother than you are. If you go in she'll just have to rescue your backside too." He tugged again and John slowed this time. "Please John, for once in your life, use your head where your sons are concerned."

The eldest Winchester stopped and surveyed his friend. "Fine, I'll……" He never got to finish that sentence, the scream from inside pulling his eyes away from the pastor and to the building again. He started towards it, picking up speed as the scream rang out again.

"Sam! Dean!" All his hunter instinct fell away as his fear for his son's safety overrode everything but to get to them.

"John! Wait!" Jim started after him, knowing that he would be little or no help to his companion but unwilling to leave him to his fate alone.

---

Agnes heard the screams, even from the distance she was at they resounded in the air around her. As she stood she felt the air chill around, the sky turning leaden as she closed the book at her feet and stood. Her eyes reflected the blackness of the car as she turned and headed into the fray.

---

Julie-Anne stood in the carpark, clutching her bag to her as she watched the helicopter circled and then landed on the helipad at the far end. The gold legend on it, Frank Knight Enterprises, glittered in the dying sunlight. She walked forward and embraced the man that exited from it. "Hey Frank. Thanks for this."

Her mother's friend stepped back and motioned to her to get in, waiting until she was settled to step in closer again. "Just bring it and your mother back in one piece alright?"

She nodded and handed the map to the pilot, ignoring the look that he gave the little burnt line that ran through it. "I need you to take me there." She pointed at the town that the line stopped at. We're looking for a black car, a '67 Impala or possibly a black or grey truck, they'd be on the outskirts somewhere I think."

Nodding the pilot spoke into his radio, waited for the response and then signalled to the man that he had just dropped off to move back. Frank stood back and watched as the black bird rose and then circled away from him, hoping that he wasn't making a mistake letting Julie-Anne leave on her own.

---

John lost Jim somewhere inside the house as he followed the cries, his instincts screaming at him that she was leading him to her but the screams of his youngest son driving him on anyway.

The house was a myriad of corridors and he found himself doubling back twice before he found the door down to the basement that he was looking for. Stepping inside he went down, carefully now, gun draw even though it was more a comfort than an actual threat. He could still hear the cries, fainter yet nearer and that spiked the worry through him again, worry that his son was fading.

"Come in John, we've been expecting you." Her voice beckoned him in. Crossing the threshold his eyes scanned the room and she laughed at his confusion when he didn't find either of his sons with her.

He levelled the gun at her. "Where are they? What have you done with them?"

"John, John, John." She smiled at him, not even bothering to take the gun from him. "A hunter all this time and yet you've still never learned to…..look up."

He froze at her words.

"Look up." There was a command in the voice this time that he couldn't seem to disobey. Slowly he brought his head back, taking in the sight above him, watching as the flames licked and danced round his sons. His sons that were about to burn on the ceiling.

"NOOOOO!" The word was pulled from him even as she pushed him back, throwing him against the wall. His eyes where wild as he tore his vision away from the scene above him and to her face. "No, please. Not this. Anything but this. You want me dead, fine. Kill me. Don't do this. Please."

"If I kill you John it would be a mercy, and I don't do mercy. Ask Agnes." She walked over and ripped his shirt open, preparing to cut him as she had cut his sons. "I'm going to put you up there and I'm going to let you feel what it's like John. To die burning on the ceiling, just like your wife did, just like your sons will. Only thing is….you're not going to die John, because that would just be too easy." She walked away from him, further into the room, turning at the table to look back at him. "She was my brightest prospect you know, the witch that you killed. My child even if she was not of my blood, so forgive me while I taste the sweetness of my vengeance for her death."

"Let him go!" The electricity in air screamed her presence as Agnes appeared in the doorway, her hair now a golden russet, her eyes pits of coal black.

Abigail smiled coldly. "Welcome, my daughter. Come in and join the party. I was just about to carve the guest of honour."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Well that was fun! More soon, hugs Mary xx


	48. Chapter 48

Sorry I haven't got to replying to your reviews yet, life has been hectic. Thank you again for reading and enjoy!

Mary x

Burn Witch Burn 

John could feel himself started to bleed as he looked up again, the sight above him reaching into his chest and ripping his heart to pieces as skilfully as Abigail's magic had sliced through his chest and stomach. Both boys were pinned side by side, Dean's hand resting on his brother's arm. "Please no." John couldn't get off the wall, couldn't help his sons, couldn't tear his eyes away now from those of his eldest. Those eyes were so like those of his mother's, so expressive when they wanted to be, so open at the moment, the same look of horror and resignation in them that hers had carried, that this is where and how his life was going to end.

Agnes stepped forward, rounding on her mother. "Where are they?"

Abigail laughed loud and bitterly. "You came to save the hunter's spawn? Risk the wrath of your own mother to save _them_?"

Agnes stepped forward again, raising her hand as she did." I'm not going to ask again, _where_ are they?"

"Agnes…" John tried to call to her, to warn her but Abigail silenced him with a flick of her hand.

"If you don't mind, this is between me and my daughter just now…I'll get to you in a minute."

Agnes turned slightly, catching John's upward glance. She follows his line of sight, the flickering of the flames catching her eye now and drawing her own upwards to them. "Out!" Her command was met with the instant retreat of the flames, the red fading back into the ceiling around them. Then she dropped her head back down and glared at her mother. "You really shouldn't have touched the boys. If you had a problem with John….," she flicked her hand at him and peeled him from the wall, watching as he fell to his knees, "….then it should have been John you punished."

Her mother looked affronted. "But it was him that I was punishing Agnes, his boys pain is his torment. They hurt, he bleeds; they bleed and he dies; they die and his pain will be endless."

"You always were one for the big speeches, _let them go_." Agnes realised her mistake the minute she said the words but it was too late to take them back.

Abigail's smile was pure evil delight. "With pleasure, anything for my daughter." She held out her hand and then swept it low to her side. "Down!"

Sam was off to her side a little as he dropped from the ceiling to the floor, landing almost dead centre in the circle Dean had drawn with a sickening crunch of bone. He lay still.

Dean was above her, directly above her and Agnes took the full brunt of his fall, his weight crashing into her and knocking her off her feet and him hard into her and then the table, his head connecting with the leg as landed.

Agnes had a moment to register the trail of his blood on her face and then Abigail pounced. She was on Agnes in a second, the old woman moving faster than she seemed capable of. She grabbed Agnes by the hair before she had time to recover. "I let you alone all these years Agnes, even though I disapproved of how you used your gift I still understood why you did what you did. It doesn't matter though Agnes how many people that you save, it still won't make up for the fact that you let your sister die, that you failed her. These people have wronged me and I mean to see them dead or hurting so much that they'd wish they were. If that means that I have to leave you that way…..then so be it, after all, that's the way you left me!" Her hand came down on Agnes' chest, ripping the scream from her daughter.

----

Julie-Anne watched as they circled above the town, she scanned the few old buildings that surrounded the edge of it looking for Dean's car or the older men's trucks. The helicopter pulled up after a little time, widening its search pattern before turning back to start the circle again.

"Do you see anything?" She leant forward and touched the pilot's sleeve.

"No, there's a building further in," he pointed in the direction of it, "looks deserted, we'll check it out." Pointing the nose of the bird in that direction he dropped lower, skimming the tops of the trees.

"THERE!" Julie-Anne screamed the word despite having a mike. "That's it, that's Dean's car!"

"There's nowhere to land…..we passed a field back there." The pilot started to head away when she tugged at him again.

"That flat roof down there."

The pilot shook his head. "I can't land on that, it won't take the weight!"

"Don't need you to land on it, just get close enough and I can jump down."

"You sure?" He turned the machine back in that direction anyway.

"I'm sure." Julie-Anne grabbed her bag and pulled the strap over her head, then she freed herself from the headset. The pilot took it down until it was almost touching the top of the building.

"Far as I can go."

She gripped his shoulder and screamed above the noise as she opened the door. "Thanks!"

He signalled to a field across the way and she nodded that she understood he was going to wait for her.

Then she jumped.

Dropping to her feet, she then rolled as the helicopter pulled up and away sharply. Not trusting the old roof to hold her, she crawled on her hands and knees to the edge, letting that position spread her weight more evenly.

Only once she was there did she risk standing and looking down. Off to her left there was a rusty old fire escape that went up to the floor below. She smiled and headed that way.

----

John could only crawl towards Sam, the effort to stand too much at the moment. He automatically checked his son's pulse and his breathing, noting that Sam's hand was lying at an awkward angle, his wrist probably broken. Unsure of what other damage his son had sustained, he didn't move him, content for the moment that Sam was safe, lying there within the confines of the circle.

He cast a glance over to Dean who was at least moving, pulling himself up slightly against the table leg that he had hit, holding a hand to the wound on his head. Dean wasn't looking at him though. He was watching the struggle between Agnes and Abigail.

Movement beside him distracted John and he looked down to find Sam's eyes opened, taking in the scene unfolding. "Hey kid, just lie still, it's gonna be ok." Sam flickered his eyes to his father's and then dropped them back to the battle between the two women in front of them.

----

Agnes' scream changed from one of pain to one of rage as she brought her hands up and placed them on her mother's arms, forcefully pushing her away.

Clapping her hands together and cursing under her breath she watched as Abigail's face contorted with pain and the older woman fell back against the wall, her own eyes turning black as she did. "Very good. Does it feel nice to finally let a little of that power out to play?"

"No, but you've taken the choice away from me, just like you always did. Well this time, it's coming back to bite you in the ass, literally." Agnes' face wore a cocky smile as her mother hissed and jump away from the wall, holding her backside and using her free hand to steady herself.

"You've grown a sense of humour Agnes, finally learned to lighten up." Abigail twisted her hand and smirked as her daughter's hands flew to her own throat, clawing at the skin as she clawed for breath. "Pity, I haven't."

Dean moving closer to her stricken daughter caught Abigail's eye and she smile coldly at the young Winchester. "Dean? Where are you going? Do you think that you can help her? Save her?" She pushed away fully from the wall and dropped her hand again, dropping Agnes to her knees beside him. "Don't think you're in a fit state to help anyone Dean, you should have tried to get in the circle but now, well it's too late for that."

Dean reached up and closed his hand round Agnes'. "Don't let her do this to you, you're better than this."

Agnes felt the little jolt of power that the touch of him caused, as her inner self used what little strength that he had left to fight Abigail off, even as Agnes herself tried to stop it. She felt it as he dropped against her, the greater contact heightening her drain of him.

"Oh, seems that I'm not the one that's going to kill him." Abigail's laughter filled the room. "Are you going to drain him to fight me, just like you drained your sister to fight the spirit that attacked her all those years ago?"

"No." Agnes pushed Dean off her, trying to find her feet even as she felt the blackness inside her start to fight for its hold.

Sam was trying to move now, the binding link was weakened but he could still feel his brother's distress, feel the connection fading further as Dean himself weakened. John placed a hand to his son's arm. "Don't try to move Sam, I'll get him." John had just pushed past Sam as Abigail turned on his other son.

"Let see if you can stop me from destroying him Agnes? If you do and you impress me enough, I might even let you and the boys live, just take John instead, although that seems far too lenient for my liking."

Dean's scream this time was silent, the pain to much to even spare the energy to vent his anguish. His back arched from the ground and she started to lift him, the chant of the spell filling the air around them. Agnes raised her hand to help him, knowing that she couldn't touch, the thing inside her as much as a danger to him now as her mother's magic. Still she tried to free him from her mother's grasp.

"NO!" Sam's cry filled the room, before his voice dropped to a quieter level. "You leave him alone!" He cried out then and slumped beside his father.

Abigail's eyes grew wide as the force gripped her, dragging her back into the wall and pinning her there. She looked at the youngest Winchester with amazement. "How did he…..?" The question was cut off as Agnes finally turned her full attention to the woman that had given her life.

"You bitch!" She looked at the crumpled Winchesters lying next to her. "I would rip your heart out but I reckon that I wouldn't be able to find it, I'll just settle for this instead." Agnes' drew herself up to her full height and set the wall that she was now keeping her mother pinned to on fire, the flames licking at her clothes.

Abigail recovered, one eye still on the slumped form of Sam, as she freed herself from the wall and confronted her daughter again.

"Nice try, you and the boy." She glared at him. "Almost got me in that tag team, but you still don't have it in you Agnes. That will to win at all costs. It just isn't there anymore. It died when you killed the thing that killed your sister."

Agnes' eyes shifted back to their normal pale green. "You got me mom, I don't have the balls it takes for the kill shot." She lowered her head and spoke quietly to herself, the whole room seeming to freeze and time to halt as she did. "But I know something that does." When she lifted her head her eyes had shifted again, the irises burning scarlet, the pupils only small dark holes in their midst.

Agnes tilted her head and Abigail began to choke, her hands flying out in front of her to fend off the attack from her daughter. She closed her eyes and her lips moved silently as she struggled to free herself from the force that was squeezing the life from her. One hand turned in a gesture of supplication, asking her daughter for a mercy that Agnes no longer had the conscious thought to grant. Her power was in control now and she had no way to shut it down.

It was the touch of his hand to her ankle that broke its hold on her and that of hers on her mother, making her look down into the soft green eyes that stared up at her. "You don't want to do this, not like this anyway. Not using the power that you've fought so hard against."

Agnes knelt back down to him, cradling his head, red eyes glowing in the darkness. "It's what she wants you to do Agnes, kill her and then you're lost."

The red glow dimmed as she moved closer to him. "I have to, I should have a long time ago, I was weak then. I'm strong now."

It wasn't all Agnes that was talking to him, he could sense that, but he tried to reach the part of her that was there. "No, this is wrong. You know this is wrong. If you do this there's no going back. Don't please. We're not worth it, she's not worth it. Think of Julie-Anne."

The red dimmed completely then, the trace of green, circling round it. "I have to."

"No you don't. It's not who you are." Dean smiled softly at her, seeing as her eyes became hers again, the green in them reflecting his own.

She leant forward to stroke his head, her lips skimming the skin of his forehead as Agnes took back control. "Thank you."

"So touching, the boy's a player, I'll give him that. Pity that your affection for him means that you lose Agnes." Abigail stretched out her hand and closed the fingers up on it, the electricity fizzing in it as she did. When she opened the clenched fist back up the static seemed to drift towards Agnes and Dean, slowly curling it's way through the air before it seemed to rear up and hit out at them.

Agnes' chest lit up from within, the glow spreading through her, working it's way down and out, reaching Dean and starting what looked like a fire in his chest too. Agnes tried to back away from him, freeing herself, crawling back and away, the light in Dean fading the moment she broke contact with him. He gave only a soft moan and then lay still, his only movement that of his eyes following her. She got to the wall and tried to pull herself up, but the magic was killing her now, stilling her movements too as it ravaged through her.

Abigail came over, her smile triumphant, but tinged with a sadness that looked out of place. She gently placed her hand on her daughter head, stopping the spell, the damage already done. "I'm sorry, but it was always going to end this way some day."

"No." Dean's voice was just a quiet whisper on the breeze as he spoke. "My fault."

Abigail turned to him. "Yes it is. You and your family. Now comes the time to end this."

---

Julie-Anne let out a startled yell as she rounded the corner and ran straight into Jim. He caught her and stopped her from falling before stepping back and smiling at her. "How in the world did you get here?"

"Locator spell, I did it on my mother. Where is she?" Julie-Anne looked round him as if expecting her mother to materialise at any moment.

"I followed John in here, your mother was behind me, but now, I can't find either of them….I think Abigail is blocking the entrance to the basement."

"Abigail?" Julie-Anne's face going pale told Jim that she knew who he was talking about even before her words confirmed it. "My grandmother….that Abigail?"

Jim nodded. "The witch that the boys and John hunted down, the one that hexed Dean, she was one of hers. She been trying to find them but because they were laying low at mine she was working her way through their friends. She found out that your mother was helping them, and by all looks and intents, she's not happy about it."

Julie-Anne sighed and found a table to rest her bag on. "She's got my mom and John in a basement here somewhere then?"

"Yes." He looked at his hands.

"What?"

"She's got the boys too. They're hurt."

Julie-Anne's eyes flashed as she pulled a book from her bag. "How badly?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if John and Agnes are ok."

"We need a plan before we go down there." Another book was pulled from the bag and then she started emptying bottles from it too. "I brought these in case I needed to do any healing with mom, but we can use them as a weapon just as well. Can you see if you can find me a jar or a tin with a pull off lid?"

Jim was back quickly with two jars and an old coffee tin. "These any good?"

Julie-Anne took one of the jars and peeled off the lid from it. "This is perfect. Now, you ever worked a protection spell Jim?"

"A couple. What do you need me to do?" He stepped closer to look at the book she was reading.

"I need you to try and find any of these things." She pointed to a list on the page the book was opened at. "Then I need you to mix them as I do the ritual."

"I thought you weren't a witch, not interested in all that?" Jim teased her gently.

"If I was a witch like my mom, I wouldn't need to do this, I'd just wave a hand, recite a few words and wham….instant protection. I need to do this the old fashioned way, but it'll still work the same and potions are kind of my speciality." She flashed him a winning smile.

"If Agnes has done a protection spell then Abigail can't touch her." Jim eyed the list of things to find as he spoke.

Julie-Anne shook her head. "It a barrier that repels magic Jim, mom does one and then she can't fight back, if she's gone after the boys then she won't have done one."

"Can I take the book?"

"Here. I don't need it for what I'm going to do." Passing the book off to him she started to mix the contents of the jars that she had together. "What are you making?"

"The healing lotions and pastes that I do are very delicate, you have to get the balance exactly right or they'll do more harm than good." She stepped back as the contents of the jar flared slightly as she dropped in her next ingredient. "I'm going to overcook this one and God help anyone that gets to wear it. It won't be pretty."

Jim paused. "This woman is family Julie-Anne, are you sure that you can do this if it comes to it?"

She touched his face. "Jim the only real family that I have are you and mom. You've both been there for me for a long as I can remember. If this woman has hurt my mother again, I won't hesitate. Believe me." Pushing him she turned back to the table. "Now hurry up, I need that protection spell to have a chance of helping, I need it now."

"I'm on it."

----

Twenty minutes later they were ready. Jim watched as Julie-Anne drank the potion that she had made for the protection spell and then, putting on gloves, picked up the jar, checking that the lid was partly sealed.

"I'm coming with you." Jim stepped forward.

"You can't. The spell will only cover me." It was a lie, it would cover an area round her too but she didn't want the older man hurt and she knew from her mother just what this woman was capable of.

Abigail had been like the bogey man to Julie-Anne when she was little, Agnes always warning her about her grandmother, in case she ever came to call.

"I can't just stay here." Jim ran his hand through his hair.

"Please Jim. She can't get me, I'll be alright." She held up her free hand and started to chant softly, the older man watching as the air in front of her shifted and the doorway to the basement appeared at the end of the hallway that they were in.

"Well I'll be damned, sure you're not a witch?"

"Maybe just a little. Think it might run in the blood." She grinned and started off down the hallway.

----

The noise behind her made her turn looking first to Agnes and then to the young woman that stood in the doorway.

"Who are you?" Abigail raised her hand and then smiled as the spell she cast did nothing more than hang in the air. "A protection spell, and a difficult one at that. I didn't know that Agnes had any witch friend's left." Then she looked closer. "Your hers, aren't you?" A little light came on in Abigail's eyes. "The last in the line, I could show you some marvellous things. Make you capable of so much."

Julie-Anne moved into the room, ignoring the fact that everyone bar John was prone on the floor, her eyes only on the woman, circling as she did.

"Do you know who I am? Did she tell you?" Abigail sighed. "I'm your grandmother. Can't you feel the connection? I can."

"I can feel it, I know what you are. She told me all about you. What you did to her." Julie-Anne finally stopped with her feet at Dean's head, sparing him only a quick glance down before she locked eyes with Abigail again.

Abigail moved forward and then had to stop when she reached the edge of the area that Julie-Anne's protection spell covered. She chuckled. "You're protecting him over her." She motioned to Agnes with her head. "Like mother, like daughter. So you are a witch too?"

"I'm not a witch, I don't have any powers, well except one."

"_One _power?"

"Yeah, the one that my mom gave me from the moment she had me. The one that Dean let me in to share with him. The one it seems that you've forgotten that you ever had."

"And what power is that?" Abigail sneered at her.

"The power to love, it helps me heal others."

"_Love?!"_ The sneer deepened. "That's not a power, that's a curse."

"Depends how you look at it and how you use it. It's my strength." Julie-Anne's eyes glittered coldly in the dim light. "You shouldn't have hurt the ones I love. You shouldn't have touched my mother…..," she peeled the top off the jar in her hand, "…..and you really, really shouldn't have hurt my boyfriend!"

She threw the contents over the woman, who in another life would have been her grandmother, and then moved forward catching her by the throat even as the acid in the mixture ripped the scream from Abigail's throat, the potion dripping down onto her gloved hand as she caught the front of Abigail's blouse. "I might not have powers but I can do potions that heal and potions that hurt." She tightened her grip and forced Abigail to her knees. "This one though…..this one is one that kills. Eats you from the outside in. It'll be quick, but it'll be painful."

Abigail struggled to summon her powers, to use them against her granddaughter but the acid was too strong and it was working too fast. She screamed as it reached down under her skin and fried her internal organs. "We are blood. Kin."

Julie-Anne put her foot to the woman's chest and kicked her free, her hand tearing from the glove as she did. "No, we're not."

Abigail gave one last screech of pain and then lay still even as the potion still ate at her flesh.

"Julie-Anne." The girl turned at the sound of her mother's voice, going over and kneeling next to her.

"Mom? Are you alright?" Julie-Anne checked her mother's pulse and breathing.

"Dean. She hit him with all that power, I need to help him." Julie-Anne spared Dean another look. John was beside him now and there didn't seem to be a bit of Dean's skin that wasn't bruised or bleeding, except for his ghostly pale face. He lay quiet as his father's hands deftly checked him over. "Help me to him."

"No, you're too weak yourself."

"He'll die, I wont. Help me over." Julie-Anne didn't argue any further, just gently slid her arm under her mother's and half dragged, half carried her over to the fallen Winchester. Propping Agnes against the table, Julie-Anne leant down and gently kissed Dean's lips. "Hey. Didn't I tell you to take care of yourself….this isn't that." A little tear escaped her as he managed a soft sigh.

Agnes took his hand, closing it in hers, feeling it as both John and her daughter closed into her, giving her some strength to draw from. Her powers though were weakened, Abigail's spell having reeked havoc through her system. She lifted her head to John. "I can't…..I can't heal him. It's too much."

"How can we help him then?" John's eyes swam as he looked at her.

"I can put him to sleep until I'm able to…..able….." Agnes closed her eyes as a wave of pain rode through her.

"Do it." John closed his hand round both hers and Dean's free ones. She kept her eyes closed. "He'll need medical attention."

"I've got a helicopter outside, he'll get it."

Julie-Anne hugged her mother to her. Agnes rested into her daughter's touch. "Dean?" His hand tightened briefly acknowledging that he could hear her. "Sleep." He kept his grip on her for just a second or two before his hand drifted to the ground.

They all started when Jim burst through the door. "Good God in heaven, what happened here?" He took in the carnage before him.

Julie-Anne smiled up at him weakly. "Jim there's a helicopter in the next field. We'll need something to carry Dean out on."

"I'm on it." He turned and hurried out.

"How's Sam?" Julie-Anne turned to John, finally recognised that the youngest Winchester was there too.

"Broke a few bones, and he's got some burns on him."

John was rocking Dean softly in his arms now, whispering reassurances to his son, and she didn't think that he was even aware of it. "They'll be ok. I'll make sure of it."

"I know you will." Somehow though from his look she didn't think that he quite believed it.

Agnes made a strange noise that made them look down. "Mom?" Julie-Anne laid her out on her back and did the necessary checks. "She's really weak, I've never seen her like this before. I think she needs to go with Dean. We'll get an ambulance for Sam and yourself. Are you bleeding?"

John pulled his jacket over the damage. "A little. It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Yeah?" Julie-Anne smiled fondly at him. "I've heard that one from a Winchester before."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Did I tell you that Julie-Anne's middle names were Bauer and Croft! lol

Ding Dong the witch is dead.....but the rest aren't looking up to much! *smiles*

Thanks for reading! Mary xxxx


	49. Chapter 49

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Firstly a sorry - I haven't had a chance to work on this story lately so I apologise for that, RL is all overtime, sick relatives and no money at the moment!

Just a little chapter to get this one at least moving for now, I can only get a snatched half hour here and there so it might be a little while longer than usual to update but they'll come – never fear.

Thanks for your patience, Mary xx

Back to the drawing board

Two Days Later.

Julie-Anne turned to find John hovering in the doorway. She gave him a little smile and turned back to what she was doing. "You coming in or are you gonna stand there all day?" When he didn't answer she turned again, taking in the pale, tired look to his face and the deep lines of worry that creased it. "What's wrong? Is Sam ok?"

John finally tore himself from his reverie and walked towards her, never looking at her though, eyes only for the person in the bed. "Sam's still out. How's he doing?," he asked gesturing towards the bed but not moving any closer to see for himself.

"What is it?" Stopping what she was doing Julie-Anne walked to the bottom of the bed and stepped in close beside John, gently resting her hand on his arm as she did.

"It's nothing." He moved closer to Dean's bedside but still didn't make any attempt to touch his son.

"John?"

Slumping down into the chair next to the bed, John took in the single IV that ran into the back of Dean's hand wondering at the colour of the liquid in it before raising his eyes to meet Julie-Anne's. "It's just that normally if he's in hospital and he's as still as this there's tubes and wires and machines that keep reminding you that he's still there, that he's still fighting." He wiped at his face and dropped his eyes back to his still, silent son. "There's noise." He paused then, a long deep sigh dragging itself from him. "It's just too damn quiet in here. It's almost like….." He stopped there, running his hand through his hair this time before dropping it to his lap with another softer sigh.

Julie-Anne made the Winchester patriarch turn his head to face her. "Hey, he's hurt but we can help him. You're not going to lose him John. Not here. Not today. Not on my watch."

She received another small smile for that and then he stood again, closer to his son's bedside, resting his hand down on Dean's own bandaged one. "Can you wake him up?"

"No….well yes….I mean probably….but he needs to be healed first. I've done what I can but if we wake him now, he just going to be in a lot of pain and we don't want that. It's better to leave him this way just now." Moving forward she gently brushed a hand through Dean's hair. "He doesn't need anything like this, I can heal the wounds on the outside and help with the ones on the inside a little but mom is the only one that can heal him enough for it to be alright to wake him, we just have to get her well enough to do that. Her spell means he doesn't need any sustenance just a little TLC to help him before we get him back on his feet."

John eyed the IV again." What is that you've got in there?" The liquid had a purple hue to it.

"It's the same stuff I've got on his burns on his hands and feet, Abigail toasted him a little on the inside too, this'll help it start to heal, make it easier for mom when she's ready to help him."

"You're drip feeding him that stuff on his hands that stinks the whole room out? Is that safe?" John screwed his face up at the thought.

"Yes. It's ok. I know what I doing. Honest." She pulled off the gloves and tossed them in the bin, walking over and washing her hands from habit. "Can you sit with him for a little bit, I want to check on mom and then I'll come back."

"Yeah. I'll be here."

She headed for the door. "It's going to be alright John, just need to have a little patience." With that she was gone.

----

Agnes' room was darkened, the curtains drawn tight against the sunlight, only the small lamp by the bed giving any illumination. Julie-Anne tossed her white coat and climbed up on the bed, pulling her mother up and against her, letting Agnes' head rest again her chest while still being mindful of the IV that was attached to her hand.

"Hey there. Think you can wake up for me anytime soon?" She brushed her fingers through her mother's hair thinking of how many times the roll had been reversed when she was little. "I could really do with you to talk to right now. I can't make him better without your help mamma. I don't know what else to do."

She cuddled in a little closer to the unconscious form of the woman in the bed, pressing a kiss to her cheek, and let herself have a much needed moment of weakness.

---

Later

John was sitting with his head resting on the bed next to his son's hand when Jim slowly pushed the door opened and stuck his head round. "How's things in here?"

"Same." Groaning, John stood up to stretch, the wounds to his stomach and chest pulling slightly as he gently raised his arms up and out. He picked up the blankets that he had wrapped round himself and set them down in the seat before walking over and standing to watch the day winding down outside the window, normal life going on, and as usual leaving him further behind. "Did you get it all cleaned up?" He ran his hand through the beard that was starting to thicken on his face and absently thought that he'd have to wash and shave at some point.

"Eventually. Turns out that scraping witch off a floor is harder than it looks." Jim walked over, stood next to Dean, taking in the boy's pale colour and rainbow of bruises that covered almost any of the skin that was on show.

"How'd you do it?" John's voice drew his eyes up.

"Called in a few favours. Burned the whole darn place to the ground with enough gasoline to obliterate anything."

That brought a little smile to John's face. "Barbequed bitch….sounds good to me, even if she was already dead."

"Yeah, remind me never to get on Julie-Anne's bad side!" Jim sat down on the chair that John had been on earlier. "You want to go sit with Sam for a spell and I'll keep Dean here company?"

A grateful smile rested uneasily on John's face. "Yeah, thanks. Sam should wake up soon, it'd be better if I'm there when he does, he's gonna freak about Dean, I might as well be the one he freaks at."

"Go easy." Jim gave his friend a troubled look. "You look like shit John, maybe you should go get cleaned up first. I've got some clothes for you and the boys in my jeep, stopped at the motel on the way back and cleared out the rooms." He handed John the keys.

"Thanks Jim, think I will. There's a shower in Sammy's room, I'll be there if you need me."

"Ok. I'll holler if there's any change." Jim sat forward in the chair and lifted Dean's hand to rest on his as John left. He gave a little sigh and raised his eyes heavenward. "Ok, I need your help on this one, so how about it?" With that he pulled the chair in a little, settled back into to it and closed his eyes, his lips moving in a silent prayer for the boy in the bed in front of him.

---

One of Sam's shoulders didn't hurt. He knew this because everything else did. He tried to open his eyes, squinting into even the dull light in his room and decided that it was too much effort. He heard it as the chair next to the bed was scraped back and then someone touched his hand.

"Sammy?"

The voice was gruff and he knew that it was his dad that was sitting there, waiting for him to wake up.

"You with me?"

A thought bolted through his brain causing him to try and open his eyes again and sit up. He hadn't expected his brother to be sitting there, he knew that Dean was hurt as bad as, if not worse, than him but the fact that John was sitting with him and not Dean scared him.

"Dean?" He forced his brother's name passed his lips, feeling the large hand rest gently on his chest, pressing him back down to the bed.

"Jim's with him. He's sleeping," John answered, knowing that Sam hadn't mistaken him for his brother only that he was concerned for him. "Julie-Anne says he'll be fine when he wakes up."

Sam turned his eyes to his father's, looking for any word of a lie but John's face was a mask of neutrality.

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes again. "How's Agnes?"

"She's still out too but Julie-Anne's hopefully that she'll wake up soon and when she does then they'll get Dean and you healed and up and out these beds." John stood and took the glass of water from the table next to the bed, holding it up and letting Sam take a drink before he set it back down again, moving closer as he did, almost up into Sam's face, examining him. "How you feeling kiddo? Your arm got knocked pretty badly, broke a couple of bones there. Julie-Anne put some stuff on the places that you got burned too."

"I'm fine. Can I see him?" Sam's eyes were huge pleading orbs in his face and John had to look away at the fear and pain that lay in them.

"You just woke up Sam, give yourself a little time to see how you feel. I'd need to ask Julie-Anne anyhow, she's the one that's running this show. I'm lucky that I even get to spectate and that she hasn't got me strapped to a bed too. If she says it's ok then we'll get you into see him."

He stared at his dad.

"What?"

"Go get her then."

John looked like he was going to argue but didn't. "I'll go tell her you're awake." He leant over his son. "Do not get out of that bed or there'll be trouble. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you." Sam wishes he could cross his arms but had to be content with just a scowl. He didn't think that he could get out of bed on his own, even if he did want to.

"But are you listening to me?" John stood up and looked down on him.

"I'm listening."

"That'll be a first. I won't be long."

Sam waited until the door shut and then tried to get up anyway, ignoring the pain slicing into his arm and riding through his hands and feet. He was almost half way there when the door swung opened again and John stood there.

His father didn't say anything but the look was enough.

Sam sank back into the bed. "I was just adjusting my pillows."

John snorted. "Yeah right. I mean it. Keep your ass in that bed until I get back or you wont be getting to see your brother."

Sam's huff bounced off the closing door.

---

Agnes opened her eyes, blinking slowly to clear her vision, panic filling her when she realised that she couldn't feel her left hand or most of her side for that matter. A dull weight seemed to be resting on it. She finally got her brain to understand that there was someone lying on her, curled in close. Gingerly she raised her head, needing confirmation that it was indeed her daughter that was resting next to her, limpet like to her side. The mop of red hair that was attached to the head resting on her chest was all the confirmation that she needed.

"Julie-Anne?" Agnes was surprised how strong her voice was after all that had happened.

The head shot up, long hair falling over her daughter's face as she sat up. "Mom?" Julie-Anne scooped her hair up and behind her revealing a beaming grin of happiness that made Agnes feel a thousand times better instantly.

"Hey honey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a Mack truck, in fact, I think I'd have preferred to have been hit by a Mack."

Agnes watched as her daughter pushed herself off the bed and start to set about checking her over, laughing at the huff the escaped as she stopped Julie-Anne with a hand on her arm. "Apart from being a little thirsty and hungry enough to eat a horse, I'm fine."

Julie-Anne glared at her. "You were out for two days. That is not my idea of fine."

"Physician was healing herself. I just needed to regroup my strength is all, so I switch off for a few days. I'm sorry that I worried you."

"You got fried on the inside by Abigail's spell, so don't tell me that you're fine. I did a scan. Hence the drip." Julie-Anne lifted the tube that was attached to Agnes' hand.

"You managed to get it to work as a drip?" Agnes lifted an eyebrow and smiled a little proud smile at her daughter. "I thought you said that it couldn't be done?"

"Well that was before I had a major incentive to get it to work and two guinea pigs to test it on."

"Guinea pigs?"

"You and Dean are proud to be the first ever recipients and since neither of you are dead yet I take it that I got the strength right."

"Guinea pigs eh? What if it had been too strong?"

"Probably wouldn't have done any harm to either of you, well not more than Abigail already did. You guys were screwed anyway."

Agnes pushed herself up into a sitting position and Julie-Anne raised the head of the bed for her mother, fussing with the pillows. Agnes cleared her throat. "Speaking of the bold boy….how's he doing?"

There was a little flash of worry that was allowed life on Julie-Anne's face for the briefest of instances before she locked it down. "He's got some burns and his back is pretty badly cut up, I've seen to those. The drip is helping him but until you're better we can't wake him.… I don't think that he'd last very long awake, the pain would be too much to cope with. I've done what I can but he needs you….he's fighting though."

"And Sam?"

"Broken bones in his arm and again some bad burns. We're just waiting for him to wake up too."

"I want to see them." Agnes made to get up and out of bed only to be stopped with a harsh look and two hands on her arms.

"You…are not going anywhere until your doctor ….that's me by the way…..is happy that you're better."

"Julie-Anne…." Agnes looked into the determined face of her daughter and groaned.

"Nope. You're staying right here until I'm happy that you're up to being up and that you've had something to eat." She crossed her arms. Stifling a laugh Agnes gave up. She'd seen that look on Julie-Anne's face before.

"Fine, but I only want some soup."

"Fine. Soup it is." She disappeared into the corridor for a minute, calling to someone. When she returned there was a smile on her face. "On it's way. Give me your arm."

"Your bedside manner sucks." Agnes extended her right arm.

"Learnt it from the best. Now shut up and let me work."

Agnes suppressed the smile and watched her daughter. Julie-Anne was worried and when she got worried her practical side went into overdrive, proving an outlet for all that nervous energy. An unexpected swell of pride filled her, looking on as the woman she had given birth to and raised did her stuff.

"What?" The voice pulled her back from her reverie. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Hands on hips, Julie-Anne waited for an answer.

"I was just thinking how lucky I was to have such an amazing daughter."

Standing quiet for a minute Julie-Anne eventually resumed her checks. "I know, you're blessed. And should I be checking for head injuries now too?" The smile was sweet and cheeky.

Agnes laughed. "No. You should be getting me my damn soup so that I can get out of this bed!"

"Pushy patients, don'tcha just hate them?" Julie-Anne gently chucked her mother's shoulder.

"Just get me my soup."

The soup finally arrived and Agnes took a few spoonfuls before she patted the bed for her daughter to sit beside her. "So Abigail…"

"She's dead. Jim did the clean up." Julie-Anne played with her bracelet, not looking at her mother. "I didn't have an option, she was hurting you guys…"

Agnes cut her off. "Hey, you save all our asses, this isn't a witch hunt…" They both burst out laughing at her turn of phrase. Recovering herself Agnes continued, "you know what I mean. I don't blame you."

Catching the little glimpse of what could only be sadness in her mother's eyes Julie-Anne scooted up the bed a little more. "It's alright to feel sad, she was your mom, no matter how badly she treated you. You wouldn't be you if you didn't feel something for her."

"Oh I feel something for her." Agnes ducked her head and took some more soup. "This is vile, do we really feed people this stuff? Can you just get me a chair and we can go do some damage assessment together?"

Julie-Anne took the bowl and spoon from her mother. "I'll get the chair, but remember it's a look and assess run at this moment in time. Any healing can wait until you can walk into the rooms to check on the boys. Agreed?"

"I'm not getting out of here unless I say yes, am I?"

"Nope."

"Agreed."

Julie-Anne was helping her mother out of the bed when John came in, his face lighting up as he pushed into the room. "Hey, you're awake. So's Sam, he was asking to see Dean."

"People getting out of beds normally are awake John." Agnes lowered herself into the chair and smiled up at her daughter. "I should go and see Sam first, since he's awake. Why don't you go check on Dean? John can wheel me down."

The chuckle made them both look at the younger Kennedy. "How stupid do you think I am? I'm staying with you while you _check _on Sam and then we can both go and check on Dean." Julie-Anne walked over to John. "She has not to do any healing until she's better. Do you both understand me?"

"Yes." They answered almost in unison.

"Good. You can still push her though." Julie-Anne gave John a winning smile and moved to hold open the door. Catching the back of the chair and pushing it through the door he asked how Agnes was feeling.

"I'll live. How's Sam?"

"Hurt, but he'll live too."

They walk in silence until they reached Sam's room, Julie-Anne skirting round them to get the door and then holding it as John pushed Agnes inside. Sam was sitting up, nursing a cup of water. His face lit up much the way John's had when he saw Agnes. "You're awake."

"That I am." John pushed the chair in next to the bed and Agnes waited until Sam had put the cup down before she gently took his bandaged hand, letting her fingers slide up to the bare skin above where it stopped. "How are you doing?"

Julie-Anne cleared her throat and came to stand on the other side of the bed her eyes pointedly watching her mother's hand.

"I'm not healing," she said as she moved her hand down a little, now gripping his wrist. "Just checking him over."

"I can do that. Move your hand." Agnes locked eyes with her daughter, neither willing to back down, the tension in the room building as they stared each other down.

John's laugh broke it.

"What's so damn funny Winchester?" Agnes finally and a little gratefully broke eye contact with her daughter and turned to John.

"Nothing. Just….I'm glad its not just me that has trouble getting my kids to do what I want them to." He gave Sam a pointed look which his youngest ignored.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks folks, Mary xx


	50. Chapter 50

A/N A little longer one for you to enjoy. Thanks for all your support, it means a lot to me.

So just Dean to wake up…….

Chapter 50, I can't quite believe that I wrote something this long, and that it isn't finished just yet.

Coming Around Again 

Two weeks later

Agnes sat next to the bed, her hand resting on Dean's wrist, eyes closed, mind concentrating on the simple task that she had set herself. She could feel Julie-Anne's stare eating into her back but she chose to ignore her daughter's doubts and fears and simply concentrated on connecting with Dean, on getting inside his skin to start the healing process.

Sam had been her own version of a guinea pig for the last week, she had been struggling with her powers, Abigail seemed to have short-circuited her ability to apply a measured dose of healing, either it was too much or it wasn't enough. The younger Winchester's arm bore the marks of her initial attempts and it probably would for a while since he had decided that healing naturally would be his preferred option from now on. Still he had weathered her clumsiness longer than she had thought he would and that was in no small part due to the fact that his pain would help her heal his brother.

Dean shifting under her hand brought her back and she realised that she had taken her eye off the ball for the short time that she had been thinking about Sam. Opening her eyes and looking him over she checked to ensure that he wasn't feeling pain, just the effects of the healing. There were beads of sweat on his forehead, a worry line creasing his brow as for the first time since the cellar he became animated. His breathing grew ragged and he started to moan softly, twitching as little convulsions wracked his arms and legs. Julie-Anne had moved round, taken his other hand in hers, wiping his brow with a cold cloth before leaning in to snatch a small kiss. "Hey, it's ok. Rest easy. We've got you."

His head turned her way and she wasn't sure if he had heard her or if he was just turning away from the source of the healing, from her mother. She knew that he wasn't feeling pain as such but that the sensation of what Agnes was doing to him would still be unpleasant to experience. She whispered softly in his ear, quiet words of love and encouragement and he seemed to relax a little, soothed by the tone and familiarity of her voice.

"Can you feel that?" Agnes was looking across at her, trying to use her daughter to judge if she was actually helping Dean at the moment.

"A little. It's like pins and needles, I'll let you know if it gets too much." Julie-Anne turned and rested her backside on the bed, pulling Dean's arm up and across her lap, starting to unwind the bandages on his hand as she settled. She freed the burnt skin, reaching over and dropping the bandage on the bed side table, retrieving the jar that she had left there, dipping her fingers in and then gently stroking Dean's hand, covering it evenly in the mixture.

"How's it looking?" Agnes moved her hand from Dean's other arm and rested it on the centre of his chest as she spoke, watching for any reaction from him as she did.

"This is the one that burnt the worse, but it's healing nicely. Once you're finished with the inside it shouldn't take long to get this and his other burns sorted."

Agnes was moving her hand over his chest now in slow, smooth circles and she felt it as he jerked slightly under her touch, his back arching even as Julie-Anne's little hiss let her know that she was overcooking it. Her daughter turned her head and met her apologetic look. "Sorry, lost myself for a bit there. You ok?"

"Yeah but I've got paste now on my good jeans, that's gonna be a bitch to get off," she said as she scrubbed at the stain on her leg.

Agnes laughed and then pulled herself back to the task at hand. She slipped again, felt it herself this time and pulled back her hand as Dean jerked harder, his eyes fluttering as he did. Quickly she lent in, touched his head, switching from healing to magic before it even registered with her. "Oh no, no waking up just yet Dean, not yet."

"Ouch." Julie-Anne lifted Dean's arm off her and, hopping down off the bed, laid it carefully down on top of the sheets. "That kinda hurt." She walked round to her mother. "Think it's time you called it a day."

Agnes had her protest ready, it had been less than a few minutes, but it died on her lips when she saw the worry on her daughter's face. "Alright. I'm a little tired now anyhow."

"I'll help you to your room and then I'll come back and get Dean cleaned up."

Taking her daughter's offered hand, Agnes pulled herself slowly to her feet and slipped an arm over Julie-Anne's shoulder, pulling her into a little brief embrace. "You stay here, I want to check on Sam, and then I'll go and lie down, promise."

After a moments hesitation Julie-Anne nodded and started to head over to the bathroom know that her mother was looking at her quizzically without even having to turn and look. "It's my favourite part of the day." She pulled some stuff out from under the sink and grinned across at Agnes who had moved to the foot of the bed, understanding now in her eyes as she watched what her daughter was doing.

"Remember you said that the next time you have to give an old woman a bed bath."

"Ha. Ha." Julie-Anne pulled her hair back, washed her hands and lifted the basin over to the side of the bed. "It'll be even more fun once he wakes up and I can tell him all the things I've been up to while he was sleeping." Her grin was evil.

"I don't think I want to hear any more. I'll keep John and Sam out until you're ready for them."

----

She could hear them in the corridor as she approached.

"Fine. Just go do what you want, you will anyway, it doesn't matter what I think, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, does it?"

"That's not true…."

"Yeah it is. I mean Dean hasn't even woken up yet and your already planning your next hunt!"

"I didn't plan it. Bobby called and asked for my help."

"And you couldn't have just said no? Bobby would have understood, hell I'm surprised that he even called you in the first place."

"That's how I know that it's something big, he wouldn't have called otherwise, not when he knows what's gone down here in the last few weeks. Beside you're one to talk about just doing what you want, isn't that what you intend to do?"

"Well I learned abandonment of my family from the best."

The line effectively ended all conversation, John turned to stare at the window, anger blazing in his eyes and Sam at the door, only then noticing that Agnes was standing in it, leaning against the frame, arms crossed in front of her. "Well I can see that you're feeling better." She looked between the two of them and shook her head. "So you're going on a hunt?"

John glared at her, not liking the tone in her voice, it too close to that of his son's. "Don't you start, it's not like I can do anything to help around here or like I'm wanted."

Sam went to say something but Agnes beat him to it. "Enough. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. My arm's still sore and I can't move it very well. Julie-Anne was in earlier, she made sure that I got some of the good stuff." He raised his hand showing her the IV in it.

"That's good. No point in feeling any pain when you don't have to." She turned to his father. "So where is this hunt?"

"An hour's drive from here. I can be back for when you wake Dean up and Sam doesn't need me watching over him the whole time." Both of his companions snorted at the apparent major u-turn.

"If Bobby needs you, you should go." Sam dismissed his father and turned to Agnes. "Can I sit with Dean for a little while?" He hit her with the full puppy dog eyes but she didn't cave.

"Not just now, Julie-Anne is with him and she needs some time to get him sorted after the healing session."

Sam jumped in. "I could help."

Agnes bit her lip. "She giving him a bed bath. Want to help with that, be my guest!" She swept a hand towards the door.

His face blushed. "Er…nah. Think I'll pass."

"I'll get her to come take you through when she's done. John can I have a word?"

The elder Winchester tensed. "What about?"

Agnes motioned outside, catching Sam's worried glance. "It's not about Dean. He's fine. I promise."

The young boy slumped at that, the tension easing from him at her words. John followed her outside.

"I intend trying to wake Dean on Saturday, I want you back by then or there will be hell to pay."

"I'll be here. I need to do this Agnes. I can't sit here any longer like a spare part. Dean doesn't even know that I'm here and Sam just wishes I wasn't." He dropped his head, anger in his tone when he next spoke. "I couldn't help them, you know. I was right there and I couldn't do a damned thing to help and it's eating at me. I can feel it burning in me, the need to take out my feelings on something or someone….and Sam….well…."

Agnes chuckled and gripped his shoulder. "You should go, before what you're feeling boils over. Give yourself a little time away from the boys, go kill something evil and get all that nasty angst out without Sam setting himself up as the target. I'll watch over them until you get back, hell it's only going to be a few days."

He shuffled uncomfortably, looking at his hands. "Listen, I never got the chance to say….," he cleared his throat and lifted his head to look at her, "…..thank you for looking out for us, all of us."

Agnes feinted a faint and rested against the wall. "A note of thanks from John Winchester, I'll frame it and keep it…_forever_." She fluttered her eyelashes at him and he growled at her.

"You'd better. It'll be the last one that you get, smartass." He went to go back into Sam's room but she stopped him with a hand to his cheek, pulling him back into a kiss that he lingered into too long for his own liking. "Take care of yourself John." She started off down the corridor.

"I never knew you cared…._witch_!" He resisted the urge to touch the feel of her on his lips.

Stopping, Agnes turned back with a smile. "I don't. I just ain't gonna be the one to explain to your boy when he wakes up if you get hurt again. So if you don't mind coming back in one piece this time, I'd be grateful….and remember….Saturday….no excuses accepted…not even dying!" She called the last part back as she walked away.

"I'll try not too!" He pushed the door opened with a grin on his face that faded when he took in the frown on Sam's face. "What? I thought you'd be glad to get rid of me, means you can traipse round the clinic to your heart's content without me on your case about it all the time."

Sam's face brightened. "You know, I never thought of that. So when are you leaving?"

John deflected the smile with a wipe of his hand down his face. "Bobby's on his way here now."

---

Julie-Anne had finished cleaning Dean up and had now set to work on the puss filled lumps on his back. She screwed her face up as she rolled him and pulled the chair in close to kneel on.

"Shit this is some nasty crap that my old grandma did to your back, glad I toasted her ass." Julie-Anne gently manoeuvred the lumps on Dean's back from Abigail 's spell, knowing what she had to do next and still really hating this part. "At least you wont be able to feel it or smell it, but I tell you now this stinks. You'd better appreciate this when I'm done Winchester."

She placed a small kiss to the back of his neck and picked up the scalpel and some wadding. Carefully she slit into Dean's back, holding back the need to gag as the black puss started to trickle from the wound that she had made and down onto the wadding. Pushing gently at the side of the cut she took her time, easing the foul smell liquid out, changing the soaked wadding, not stopping until she'd got all of it out. She dumped the rest of the wadding, rinsed the scalpel in alcohol and started on the next one. There were six of them to work at and by the time she had finished she knew that this would be a day she'd skip lunch.

----

Saturday

Agnes dropped her head to the desk and groaned. She was going to kill John Winchester. Something slow and exceedingly painful she'd decided, maybe evisceration…with a spoon. Yeah. That would just about make her feel better.

"Well?" Julie-Anne stuck her head round the door.

"Nothing."

"He's a dead man, I mean it. Are we just going to wake Dean up anyway? Sam's about ready to burst something and really, I think I'm about ready to burst him."

"I'll call him one more time, if there's no answer then I'll come through." Agnes smiled sympathically at her stressed looking daughter.

"Fine but if you come back and find Sam dead and me gone….," she raised her hands in mock surrender and disappeared.

"Where the hell are you John." Dialling his number yet again she worried at her lip. Despite her daughter's threat of killing the younger Winchester there was no way that she was waking Dean up for him to find that his father wasn't there when he did. No way. The call switched to answer phone and she pitched the phone at the wall without even disconnecting it first. "Men! Huh!." Lying back in the chair she threw a hand over her eyes.

"No joy yet?" It was Jim, her calm in the oncoming storm.

"No, did you get hold of Bobby?"

Jim shook his head. "Nope. His phone is going to answer phone too. Now John, well that isn't unusual, but Bobby….something's up."

"No, no, no. He damn well promised me." Agnes reached round and pulled her jacket off the back of the chair. "Got your car keys?"

"Yes. What? Are you suggesting that I take you looking for them? You've only just got back on your feet, I'm not going to be responsible for taking you somewhere that you might get hurt."

Grabbing his arm, Agnes hauled him through the door. "Believe me, the last thing I want to do is traipse through a wood in February to get to some deserted house with a spook in it, especially since there's snow forecast but someone has to go look for these idiots and you aren't going alone, so that leaves me to come with."

They were almost at the door, Jim protesting manfully whilst still being dragged bodily along the corridor, when the black truck rolled into the parking lot.

Agnes let go of Jim, almost toppling him, and marched towards it throwing the door open when she got there. "What the hell time do you call this to appear back and why the hell don't either of you answer your phones…._what is that smell_?" She involuntarily took a step backwards.

"Had an accident with a cesspool. Don't ask. Our phones are filled with crap so they don't work anymore. Thought we'd be better just high tailing it here, since we were running late, than try and find someplace to stop and call. I'm sorry if we worried you."

Agnes grinned and held her nose as John climbed out. "Not as sorry as you're going to be when Sam gets his hands on you."

She turned as Bobby appeared round from the other side of the truck. "You just gotta be Agnes. Hi. I'm Bobby. I'd shake your hand an' all…." He looked down at himself and shrugged.

Agnes waved a welcome. "Well come on inside and get cleaned up, we've a Winchester to placate and one to wake up. Drip any of that muck on my nice, clean corridor floors and I'll make you lick it up," she addressed John as she turned and headed back in.

Bobby chuckled. "Now she is something, I can tell what you see in her."

"I don't see nothing in her Bobby…do not meddle." John flicked a finger full of gunk at the other hunter's face. "Let's get this crap off us."

Jim watched the approach of his two friends with amusement. "Always told you that that attitude of yours would land you in the shit one of these days John." The smirk danced across his face until the wind turned in his direction. "Dear Lord."

"Are you allowed to use the words shit, you being a preacher man an' all?" Bobby grinned back at him.

"Would you prefer I'd used the word crap?"

"I'd prefer it you'd shut the hell up and go get our stuff from the truck so that I can get this…crap….off me and go see my boys." John slide his jacket off as Agnes appeared back with a black bag.

Jim gingerly took the keys from John's hand and headed over to the truck as Agnes waved them in. "There's a shower in behind my room that you can use, I'll tell Jim where you are. Make sure that you clean it when your done. I'll be upstairs waiting with Dean and Sam. And don't be long."

"She's a bossy one alright, could be just what you need Johnny boy, someone that'd make you toe the line." Bobby stripped down to his underwear in the anti-room of the shower and then headed in.

"Hey, did I say that you could have first dibs at the hot water, Singer? This was your fault after all." John eased his muck encrusted, hardened jeans from his legs.

"I don't remember askin' and how was it my fault, I didn't fall in you idjit, the damn thing collapsed."

"Told you not to stand that close." John had been slowly making his way closer to the shower as the argument gained life but the wily old hunter was up to him. Bobby nipped in and closed the door behind him before John could slip by.

"Nice try Winchester but you can't beat the old dog with his own tricks. I'll be out in a minute princess and then you can preen that pretty ass of yours for as long as you like." The water going on would have drowned out any reply that he might have made, so he just stripped down too and waited his turn.

---

The light was a little too bright when he opened his eyes, all he could make out was dark shadows surrounding his bed and for a second he panicked, worry that this was some sort of trap filling him. He knew that he wasn't in the cellar anymore though, the clinic, yeah, he was in the clinic. He could hear talking and tried hard to make out whose voices they were but his head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton wool. He closed his eyes again and rolled his head slowly towards the voice that had sounded again and that was nearest to him. This one he would recognise anywhere. When he opened his eyes again his brother's worried face swam into view.

"Hey." Sam grinned a little lopsided grin at him. "How you doing?"

He flicked his eyebrows up, the most that he could manage at the moment and somehow conveyed to his brother that he had felt better. He cast a troubled eye over his younger brother the look finally resting on the cast on Sam's arm but his brother shrugged it off, albeit carefully.

"It's nothing, just a clean break, it'll heal in no time."

A hand coming to rest on his shoulder caused him to turn away from Sam and into the smiling face of Julie-Anne. "Hey handsome, welcome back." Slipping a hand in behind him she started to raise the head of the bed a fraction so that he could see Jim, John and Bobby standing at the foot of the bed, and Agnes sitting next to his feet, just in front of them. He had no idea why Bobby was here. A soft sigh escaping him as the rest of his body slowly started to wake up too.

"Did I die?" His voice was little more than a croak.

Julie-Anne gave him a worried look. "Why would you think that?"

"'Cos this looks like a wake 'cept no one's drinking."

He let out a little laugh and suddenly felt an all too familiar clenching in his gut and then Julie-Anne was steadying him as he was sick into a receptacle that she seemed to produce from nowhere. His sides ached as he wretched, it going on so long after he'd actually stopped having anything to be sick with that he didn't think that it was going to stop, until finally it did. He looked into the bowl that Julie-Anne was still holding and his eyes widened. "Is that purple..?" The words fought their way out of his too dry throat.

She kissed his head. "Long story, I'll fill you in when you're feeling better. Now, since we just gone to all this trouble to wake you up I'm going to let John and Sam sit with you for a bit and then you need to rest some more. Not too much talking, just let Sam budgie on for both of you ok?"

That got a smile that she returned and she made him take some water before she stepped back, signalling to her mom and the other two men and they filed out.

John took her place at his son's bedside. "Hi. Good to see you awake, it's been over two weeks since you got here."

Dean's eyes widened again. "Two weeks?"

"Agnes wasn't well for a time either, we needed to wait until she could help herself before she could help you. She's got a couple of more sessions that she needs to do and then you'll feel right as rain."

"That's a stupid expression." John scowled at his youngest. "What? It is! What's right about rain eh Dean?" Sam make a face and leant in. "What was that….only good for getting you wet? You said it big brother."

The laugh that wanted out turned into a small cough instead and brought his father's hand instinctively to Dean's brow, relaxing down onto his shoulder when the skin felt normal under John's touch. "How are feeling?"

Dean thought for a moment and then grinned softly at his father. "Hungry."

John shook his head. "You were just sick."

"And what difference does that make? I'm still hungry."

"Yeah, he's feeling better," his little brother piped up from the other side of the bed. "I'll get Julie-Anne to get you something light." He pushed himself up slowly from the chair and headed out to hunt her down.

John smiled down at Dean. "You sure that you're ok?"

"M'fine." He tried to push himself more upright, frowning as John moved in before he could and helped him to do it. "I had it you know."

"I know but why don't you just humour your old man for a bit, I'll be back to riding your ass with orders soon enough."

"That sounds kinda perverted."

"_Dean_." There was a chuckle hiding under his father's gruff tone.

"Well it does." Dean grinned at his dad.

"Yeah, you're feeling better."

"Feel better when I can get outta here and back on the road." He flicked his eyebrows at his dad.

John's smile was a warm, genuine one. "You and me both son, you and me both." He patted Dean on the arm. "Only this time if Bobby's calls for a help on a job then I ain't answering."

"Yeah, hope this all taught you not to break the habit of a lifetime." Dean grinned and waved at himself and the room in general. "You know what though? No more friggin' witches for me, ever."

John did chuckle this time, "Yeah no more witches."

The door opened and Agnes walked in right on cue, causing the Winchesters to exchange a look and snort in unison.

"What are you two up to?" Agnes stopped at the bottom of the bed and put the bowl on the table at the bottom.

"We might have to make an exception to that rule son."

Dean nodded at his father. "Always has to be one. Is that food?" He tried to sit forward, waving his father off as he came to help him again. "I got it...," he smiled up sweetly at John, "….can you get the pillows though?"

"What did you're last slave die of?" John quipped even as he did what he was asked.

"Boredom. Food?" He looked at Agnes and the bowl.

"Soup, be warned….our kitchen isn't five star rated." She pulled the table up as she spoke and handed him the spoon. "Take your time, it's hot."

"Ok mom." He took a sip. "Hey this isn't half bad."

Agnes gave him a look. "Really?"

"No. Really it tastes like pig swill." Dean screwed up his face but took another spoonful.

"And yet you continue to eat it?"

Dean shrugged. "Food's food. Don't ever waste it…..but if you could wrangle up a cheeseburger for me next time…." He grinned broadly at her.

"Yeah," John muttered from the corner, "….definitely feeling better."

---

One week later 

Dean cursed as Julie-Anne hit a sore bit on his back. "Thought you were supposed to making that feel better, not just torturing me some more."

"I am trying to make it better, your muscles are in knots, if you'd relax a bit, it would make this a whole lot easier." Julie-Anne kneaded her fist in a little too hard on purpose as Dean's constant complaining finally got to her.

"Oww! B-itch."

"Jerk!" Julie-Anne sighed as Dean tensed under her hands again. "You need to relax, it's only going to keep hurting if you don't."

"If you want me to relax…" he rolled over onto his side facing her, "….you're going about it the wrong way."

"And what way am I suppose to go about it?" She took in the look on his face. "Oh no. Don't even think that we're going there, in here I'm your doctor."

He grabbed her hands and pulled her towards the bed. "Well then doc, if I told you where it hurts what would you do to make it better?" His thumbs were rubbing circles on her pulse points and she knew he would be able to feel just how hard her heart was racing even at this small touch.

"Depends. Where does it hurt?"

He slid his hands up her arms and tugged her down towards him. "My neck kinda hurts." He smiled as she circled the said neck with her arms and started to gently caress the bottom of his hairline.

"Better?"

"Oh yeah." He smiled up into her eyes thinking that if he was a cat he'd be purring. "Much."

"Where else?"

"My lips are kinda dry."

She licked hers and closed the gap, gently brushing his at first before relaxing into her task. He groaned when she broke away and caused a ripple of laughter to run through her.

"Next?"

"Come here and I'll whisper it." She brushed his ear with her lips as his own brushed hers.

"Mr Winchester, that would be very unprofessional of me." She looked round the room as if expecting someone to appear. "Besides, the door doesn't lock."

He raised an eyebrow at her, brow lining in the thought and then a wicked smile crossed his face. "Bathroom?"

She looked at the small room off to their right. "Well you could do with a shower…"

"Are you telling me I stink?" She had his hand now and was helping him off the bed.

"I was thinking more massaging hot water into those tight muscles…but now that you mention it." She screwed her face up and then laughed as he scowled at her.

"You're so gonna pay for that remark."

He pushed her inside and closed the door.

---

Agnes frowned when she opened the door and discovered that Dean wasn't in his bed. Although he'd be doing some physio with Julie-Anne she wasn't sure that she was happy with him being up and about yet. The frown deepened when she realised that Julie-Anne's white jacket was still lying at the bottom of the bed. She could feel panic fighting at her and was turning to go check the physio room when the sound of running water caught her attention.

"No."

Walking over to the bathroom door she listen for a mere second before turning away and quickly heading for the room door, pausing as it opened up as she reached it and John went to enter.

"Hi." His eyes immediately went to the empty bed. "Where is he?"

"Seems Dean is doing better than we thought, he's with Julie-Anne, I think she giving him a thorough work out." Agnes felt the snigger rest on her lips.

John however looked confused. "But I just came from the physio room and they told me that they were in here."

"Oh they are. Getting cleaned up by the sounds of it." Agnes nodded in the direction of the closed bathroom door.

"Oh…oh…ok." Embarrassment flushed John's face.

"Shall we?" Agnes held out her arm and waited until he took it.

"Hell yeah, drink?"

"Drink!" Agnes agreed and steered them to her room.

---

When Sam came into the room later his brother was sleeping, looking more relaxed and peaceful than Sam thought he had in a long time. He greeted Julie-Anne with a wave but didn't look up at her as he settled into the chair at his brother's side.

"He's looking better, colour's good." Dean gave a snort and mumbled something in his sleep, rolling over to lie facing his brother. "He looks really relaxed."

"Oh he is." Julie-Anne busied herself fussing with the blankets on the bed. Sam looked up at her, for the first time taking in her slightly dishevelled appearance.

"What happened to you? And why is your hair wet?" He glanced down and saw that Dean's was too. "Tell me you didn't? Here? Where anyone could just walk in on you?"

Julie-Anne had the good grace to blush. "Not here, in there." She jerked her head at the bathroom.

Sam lowered his head and sighed. "Well at least we know that he's _really_ feeling better."

"Oh he's good, believe me."

"Spare me the details ok?" Sam huffed at her.

She walked round and chucked him under the chin. "Is little Sammy feeling left out? Do you want a massage too?"

He flushed. "Stop it and don't call me Sammy!"

"Stop trying to hit on my little brother you shameless woman you." Dean was smiling when they looked at him.

She brushed a hand through his hair and kissed his head. "Didn't realise that you were awake."

"Obviously," he chuckled. "Hey Sam, how's the arm?"

"Better now the cast is off, damn things are itchy as hell." He looked at Julie-Anne and she took the hint, gathering her stuff and telling them that she look in on Dean later.

"So what's up that you chased away my girl?" Dean pushed himself up and then stifled a yawn with the back of his hand. "Man, I'm beat."

"Too much strenuous exercise?" Sam sneered at him.

"Careful or I'll tell you all about it."

"Or I could pass, thanks." He sat a moment. "So, I was speaking to Agnes earlier. She gave me this." Sam handed the letter to his brother, watching as Dean's face fell briefly before he managed to hide it.

"You did it. Congrats little brother." The happiness in Dean's tone and face didn't quite make it all the way to his eyes.

"Yeah, I did." Sam took the letter back and folded it up, flattening the creases with his hands, not looking back up at Dean.

"What is it?" Dean pushed himself up into a sitting position, letting his legs dangle down over the side.

"Are you sure you're alright with this because I mean dad hates me for it and if you hate me too then I don't…I don't…." Sam's shoulders shook silently.

Dean put one hand down at his side for balance and reached his other out to lift Sam's face. "Is this what you want to do?"

Sam nodded.

"Then I'm down with it." Dean wiped one of Sam's tears away with his thumb. "I mean I'll miss you annoying my ass and all and having to rescue you when some ghoul gets caught in all that girly hair, but if it's what you want, then it's what I want. Besides, California isn't exactly a place that you'd have to drag me to for a visit."

Sam let out a long shudder of breath. "Thanks Dean."

"Don't mention it." He yawned again and Sam stood.

"You look tired, I'll get and see you in morning. Dad and I are going back to Jim's tonight."

"Have you told him?" Dean thought he probably already knew the answer to that one.

"No."

"Well don't. I should be out of here on Friday according to Julie-Anne, we can tell him together then if you want."

"I should just get it over with."

"I know but I'd feel better if there was someone there to referee and stop it turning into a blood bath ok?"

He was surprised when Sam moved forward and crushed him in a hug with another muttering of thanks against his shoulder before he let go and headed off.

Dean threw himself back on the bed and wiped at his face. "Don't mention it Sammy, that's what big brothers are for.


	51. Chapter 51

A/N Nearly there, and I mean it this time! Just a little chapter to get from A to B and then to C. Hope you like, Mary xx

Frayed At The Edges

Friday Morning 

John and Sam were sitting on the trunk of the Impala outside the main doors of Agnes clinic, waiting for the third Winchester to finally put in an appearance.

"What's keeping him?" John growled over at his youngest, his impatience rolling off him in waves.

"How should I know? Probably saying goodbye to Julie-Anne, she had some last minute checks that she wanted to do before she let him go." Sam ran his fingers round in circles in his brother's paintwork, wishing that Dean would hurry his ass up and not put their father in a bad mood before they even got the chance to confirm Sam's acceptance to college to him.

"I'll bet she did," John muttered as his temper finally broke and he pushed himself off the car and started for the entrance. "Wait there."

Sam waited until John was out of ear shot. "Yes Sir!" He mock saluted his father's back and stuck out his tongue, his inner child just needing some release from the tension that was twanging through him.

"I can see you in the doors!" John's voice drifted back to him as the man himself disappeared inside the building.

"Crap." Sam pushed off the car too and started round her. He threw himself through the open door and collapsed over the back seat, pulling his letter out as he did. He read it again, still not quite believing that he'd done it, he was out. A few more months and no more hunting, no more orders and no more crap motel rooms. Even a dorm would be a step up.

Still he couldn't help feeling a little sick through all his elation. This was a major decision and one that he couldn't easily back down from if it all went pear shaped. What if he didn't fit in there? What if he couldn't do normal? What if he wasn't as smart as people had been telling him? The thought of failing and having to come crawling back to John and to this life…..he couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it.

The sound of footsteps quickly put his worries from his mind and turned them back to the most immediate one. He shoved the letter back in his jacket. John was going to flip when they told him, Sam was sure of it and he was almost tempted to not tell him at all, just wait until it was time to go and then just leave. No fuss, no fighting and no chance for his father to try and change his mind. Not that he could, but still John would probably die trying.

There was a knock on the roof and his brother's face appeared at the open door. "Ready to hit the road?"

Sam nodded and pushed himself up into a sitting position, letting Dean slam the door and then slip into shotgun. "I was ready an hour ago!" Dean just turned and smirked at him, Sam catching sight of the bruise on his brother's neck as he did. "I thought vampires didn't exist? There's teeth marks on that thing." he snarked, expertly ducking the hand that tried to swipe the side of his head.

The car dipped as John lowered himself in behind the wheel and then they were moving, Dean reaching over automatically to turn the music on before settling back in the seat and resting his head over the back of it, Sam laughing as he pulled his collar shut to hide the mark from John and any further comments.

They drove in an almost comfortable silence all the way back to the motel, Dean letting John get out first before he turned quickly to his brother. "When we get inside you go and get us coffee." He moved to get out the car but Sam stopped him.

"Thought we were going to do this together?"

"We are. I just want a quiet word with dad first."

With that his brother was gone and Sam was left to trail after him, hoping that Dean's quiet word wouldn't end up with them all fighting again.

----

Dean waited until the door shut behind his brother and lowered himself into the couch directly opposite the table that John was sitting at, trying to pick up his place in the research scattered before him.

"So, where are we going next?" Dean played with a loose thread on his jeans as he stared across at the top of his father's head.

"What do you want to say to me Dean?" John pushed the book he was looking at away and slumped back against the chair, one arm coming back to drape loosely over it. "Just spit it out. I take it that its about Sam since you practically just pushed him out the door."

Dean took a breath. "Sam wants to talk to you about Stanford."

"Not this again." John went back to the book only to have it wrenched from under his nose. "He got his letter, he's in."

John sighed. "So there's nothing to talk about then is there." He held out his hand for the book, annoyance colouring his face as Dean still held it away from his reach.

"I don't want you to talk to him I want you to listen to him, nod in a the right places and not to shout at him or brush him off." Dean's voice held a challenge in it that John rose to.

"And if I don't?" He sat back again and tried to stare his son down.

"Then he's gonna walk out of here and never speak to you again." Dean's voice had a waiver in it but his eyes steadily held his father's gaze.

"So?"

"So?!" Dean exploded. "You're the one that's always going on about 'family is everything' and 'watch out for your brother' and your just going to push him away?"

"He's leaving, I'm not the one doing the pushing here." John struggled not to let his own voice crack at his next words. "I want him to stay."

"Well he doesn't want to, and you can't make him so, _please_, can you just congratulate him and wish him well?" Dean knew that he was almost begging here.

"Why?" There was a harshness to John's tone.

Dean looked up, his own heartbreak hiding just beneath the surface. "For me. Because I'm asking you to."

John didn't get a chance to answer before the door opened and Sam came in, instantly sensing the tension in the room. Shooting Dean a look he rested the tray of drinks on the far side of the table from John. "He told you then." It wasn't a question.

John dropped his head to the book he'd been reading only lifting it when Dean cleared his throat noisily. "He told me."

Dean watched as his dad flicked back and forward the edge of the page that he was on. He held his breathe.

"And?" Sam was ready for a fight, his fists clenched at his sides.

"If you're sure that what you want to do, who am I to stand in your way." John reached over, snagged a cup of coffee and sat back down, taking off the lid and took a careful sip of the hot liquid.

Sam looked at Dean and then back at his father. "That's it? I can go and you're just fine with it?"

Dean mentally wished his brother not to push his luck.

A sigh escaped their father as he slammed the book shut and stood, not missing Dean putting himself between Sam and him by stepping forward to get a coffee himself. He looked his younger son in the eye as he spoke, a bitter resignation in his voice.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore Sam, you want to leave, you want to go to college, fine. Go. If not being a Winchester and helping your brother and I fight what you know is lurking out there in the shadows means so much to you, I can't make you stay. I know that. But like I said before Sam, if you walk out that door on your brother and I, don't bother coming back." He grabbed his keys and headed for the door, opening it and turning back to look at the stunned expression on both his son's faces. "You walk away from this and we're finished, you understand? You walk out and you're no son of mine." He caught Dean's eye and smile cruelly. "Oh…and congratulations." With that he slammed the door and headed out.

Dean took all of two seconds to react, slamming his own cup to the table and starting for the door. "Sonuvabitch!"

Sam stopped him before he got there. "Let him go."

"What?! No way, he's not going to get to do that." Dean tried to free himself from Sam's grip but his brother held onto him tightly, a resigned look in his eye as he spoke.

"Dean, it's ok. If that's the way he wants it, then that's how it'll be. At least he doesn't want to fight me on it any more. I'm going to lie down." Sam let go and crossed the room, slamming his way into the bedroom, leaving his brother standing in the middle of the room, looking between the two closed doors. He wiped his hand slowly across his face and cursed. "God damn it to hell. I need a drink." Tossing the keys on the table he headed out to the nearest open bar, his only intention now to numb the pain he was feeling.

----

On The Road 

It had been over a month since the little declaration in the motel room and Dean sat on the bed, guns spread out round him as he cleaned them, watching his father and his brother. They sat side by side, working on the research for the latest hunt, sharing information, asking questions and generally being nice to one another.

Too nice.

They were just acting like they didn't want to take the other by the shoulders and shake the stubbornness out of them, that at any minute the wrong word wouldn't cause an explosion that would rip his world apart. It was all so bloody unnormal and it was eating at him, he wanted to scream at them himself to stop it, just get on with the fight that was brewing under the surface, give him a slice of normal instead of the overpowering politeness that was killing them all.

It was like they were all pretending that Sam wasn't leaving, that there wasn't huge fat elephant in the room.

As he watched John and Sam sitting side by side researching he felt like the thin layer of plastic between the nitro and the glycerine that were his brother and his father. Shake the bottle too hard and he wouldn't be able to separate the two. It scared him to step out of the room for more than twenty minutes at a time, frightened that he would come back and they would have had words, that he'd find whatever motel that they were in this time obliterated from the map by the fallout between them. Yet they had been, as they were at this moment, nothing but calm and polite to each other since the day Sam had got his letter and he supposed that was what was really worrying him. The lack of any real tension, the lack of almost any sort of friction whatsoever, yet underneath he could hear the ticking of the clock, the countdown to the bomb blast that his brother's leaving was going to cause. The countdown to the destruction of his family that he knew he would catch more than a glancing blow from.

He was standing at ground zero waiting for the ball to drop.

On his head.

If waiting for the explosion was bad though, the feeling that his brother was already changing was worse, that he was already making the breaks that would allow him to leave. Sam had, surprisingly with John's blessing, stopped going on the hunts, instead throwing himself into the research. There were no worried lectures either when he'd come back hurt, instead his brother would do a per functionary job on patching the wound and then go back to researching their next job.

On the road in the car, without John's presence looming over them was the only time that his little brother put in an appearance, the only time that Sam would relax and just be Sam again. Still even then there was a distance between them as wide as the two lane black top that they were driving along and Dean was no longer sure that he felt able to breach it.

The thing though that hurt Dean more than any thing else was that, after all his attempts to keep his brother safe from this life that they led he thought it perverse that now, when Sam had the chance to _really_ be safe, Dean didn't want him to leave, didn't want him to go live life somewhere else. Deep down, he really didn't want to be left behind. Not that he'd _ever _admit to that.

"You gonna answer that or what?" His dad's growl pulled him out of his thoughts and he dumped the gun he was cleaning to snatch the phone that he hadn't heard ringing.

"Dean?" Agnes' voice filtered through the white noise in his head and he stood, heading for the door as he answered her.

"Hey there, how's things?" He shut the motel room door and headed across the lot to the little swing park that was at the far end, noting thankfully that it was empty before the chill of the air against his bare arms registered why it would be that way.

"Fine. You sound off. Everything ok?"

"Peachy. What do you want Agnes?" He plonked himself down on one of the swings and started to shuffle it back and forward with his feet.

"And hello to you to. Just checking that your father and brother haven't killed each other yet."

"Nope, both still breathing. Not so much as a cross word so far." Dean rested his head on the chain of the swing and failed to keep the sigh in.

"You almost sound disappointed."

"Yeah, well sometimes anger is easier to deal with than cold indifference," Dean sighed again. It was too he realised, he could cope with the angry words and the arguments, had been conditioned to them, but this…he picked up a handful of stones and fired them one by one at the play park's sign, relished the clang of each one.

Agnes' voice was soft when she spoke next. "Ok spill. What's the matter?"

"It's nothing." He shrugged even though she couldn't see him.

"Dean?"

"It's nothing."

"Don't make me come down there." The threat he knew was genuine, she would if she thought she had to.

"I…it's….." He stumbled over the words, not really sure what, if anything, he should or could say.

"You say nothing and so help me, I'm going to pull you through this phone and hurt you, and don't think I can't," Agnes scolded.

That got a laugh. "I'm fine it's just….just….I feel….it's like waiting for someone to die from a long illness you know? Nobody mentions it but everybody's thinking it and it's still gonna happen just the same."

"The old elephant in the room?" Agnes was rustling papers as she spoke this time.

"Yeah. So what's new with you, did you just miss me or did you need me for something?" Dean moved from the swing, starting to circle the little park to heat himself up.

"You could still go with him you know, all you have to do is say the word. I'm sitting with a file here with your pretty impressive score on the tests in it, I could get you into something with this. I have friends, admittedly, mostly in low places but still, you want and you got." She held her breath for the answer she knew wouldn't come.

"No."

"Why not? It's not like John really needs you to go on the hunt.," She mentally begged him not to take that the wrong way, "… and if he gets hurt there are plenty of people that he can call if you're too far away." Agnes pleaded her case.

Dean ran his fingers along the fence at the side of the park as he completed his circle and headed back across to the motel. "Can you really see me sitting in a classroom all day? Or studying all night? Day in and day out listening to some boring dude lecturing me on law or physics or some other equally boring shit?"

"No, but I can see you going to the frat parties and hitting on all the girls," she chuckled.

"Yeah that would be me." A thought hit him. "Hey, you never did tell me what my score on the test was."

"Four less than your brothers."

"And his was?" Dean shivered as the cold really started to bite, stopping as he got to the room door and leaning on it.

"More than good enough. Go ask him." She changed the subject. "So what are you guys hunting?"

"Don't know yet. Something is killing people in their sleep in locked houses. Sam and dad are doing the research for it now."

"So what are you doing?"

"I pulled weapon cleaning duties and car maintenance, still beats spending my day in the library. Can't work on my tan if I don't get to see daylight."

"It's April. Don't you need sun for a tan?" Agnes chuckled. "So you cheating on my girl yet?"

"Ain't cheating if she told me I could and it would be a no anyway. Slim pickings in this town, even for me." He paused as she laughed softly. "She there?" He felt a sudden pang of want as Julie-Anne's face drifted into his thoughts.

"Doing her rounds. You want me to get her to call you later?"

"Nah." Dean didn't want to tell Agnes that Julie-Anne probably would call anyway.

"Ok. Look I was after you for a reason…."

"Everyone always is," he said dryly.

"I'll ignore that, will you give me Bobby's number?"

"You after Bobby now? What, my old man not enough for you?" There was almost a chuckle in his voice.

"Funny. We were talking about a ritual that he was trying and I found a book that would help. You going to give me the number or what?" He could hear her tapping her fingers on the desk.

"Keep your hair on….here…" He gave her the number, promised to call if things got bad and that he'd look after himself, then he hung up and gratefully slipped back inside the heat of the room.

Ignoring his family's quick questioning look he headed back to the bed to finish off the gun that he had abandoned mid clean, dropping back into his thoughts again. It took a while to realise that Sam had come over and was standing in front of him.

"You hungry?" His brother had put his jacket on at some point between Dean sitting and Sam walking over. "Thought we could go to the diner up the road, get out of here for a bit."

"I'll eat later, I haven't finished this yet." Dean waved at the array of weaponry that lay round him.

"You want me to bring you something back?" Sam sounded disappointed.

Sighing Dean took another look over the stuff on the bed and shrugged. "What the hell, this'll still be here later. Give me a minute and I'll come with." He slotted the .45 in his hands back together, rested it on the bedside table and snatched his jacket from the other bed. "I can finish this when we get back." He looked over at his dad waiting to see if any reprimand was going to be forthcoming about abandoning the job mid-task, and receiving none he stood and headed for the door, Sam falling into step behind him. "You coming or you want anything dad?" He halted at the door, watching to see if John had even heard him.

"No," John acknowledged. "I'll get something later. You boys go on." Dean stepped through the door as his father spoke again. "Don't forget that you've a job to finish when you get back though."

"I won't." Going through the door he turned to let Sam move into step beside him and then, shoulder to shoulder they headed over to the diner, not speaking until they were settled into the booth and had ordered.

"So, was that Agnes on the phone?" Sam took a sip of the coffee that was in front of him, watching as Dean mirrored his movements, wrapping his hands round the cup and staring into the liquid as if looking for the answer to the meaning of life in it.

"Yup." Dean picked up a spoon and started stirring the black coffee just for something to do with his hands.

"What did she want?"

"Bobby's number, she's got a book or something for him."

"So what else did she have to say for herself?" Sam was fishing for something, Dean could hear it as he spoke.

"Not much. She's still trying to persuade me to go with you."

"And?" Sam was staring at him now, so Dean kept his head lowered.

"And what? I wouldn't fit in." He took another sip of his coffee and then started to play with the napkin that the cutlery was wrapped in. "So I never did ask what your score was on the tests?"

"My score?" The change of topic threw Sam for a minute and then he realised what Dean was asking. "174."

Dean's head came up at that, the calculation in his mind a brief one. _He'd got 170?_ _Really? _He made it a question for his brother. "Really?" The bemused tone was nothing to do with Sam's mark. "That's a good score, always knew you were a smart ass." A little grin played on his face.

"What did you get?" Sam sat back as the waitress brought their food. "Agnes told me she made you sit the test too after I'd gone in."

Mentally making a note to kill Agnes slowly Dean shrugged. "Don't know, didn't ask. Wouldn't be 174 anyway." He rammed the cheeseburger that had been put down into his mouth, ending his side of the conversation.

"How do you know?" Sam took a bite from the burger that he'd ordered too and then wiped his mouth as he waited for Dean to stop chewing.

"I don't get to spend all my time with my nose stuck in a book, that's how I know. I got other things to do with my time, except study." The waitress walking by caught his eye and he smiled seductively at her, hoping the he didn't have food stuck in his teeth. "Unless it's figures…." He smirked, whistled a low, appreciative whistle and pointed after her. "….like hers."

The smirk made Sam sigh. "Do you ever take anything seriously?"

"Life is too short to take it seriously Sammy. Learn a little, live a lot that's my motto."

"Whatever." Sam chewed and swallowed another mouthful of food as his brother inhaled his. "So Agnes has got a friend at Stanford that's looking for someone to look after their flat while they're abroad, it's right on the edge of campus and she thought I'd be perfect for it. I only have to pay the bills and look after the place."

"Yeah? Well it's not like you'd be a deposit buster, no wild parties, not for serious Sammy." Dean finished his burger and sat back, enjoying the full feeling but still eyeing the dessert menu.

"Bite me." Sam made a rude gesture with his fork and then turn his attention back to his meal as he spoke again. "She told me that she could get me a job too."

He went quiet and Dean frowned, sensing the truck heading his way. "What is it?"

"If I took the job I'd need to go a little earlier." Sam risked a glance at his brother. Dean's posture had stiffened.

"How much earlier?"

"Middle of July."

"But that's like only six weeks away!" Dean realised that he'd raised his voice and slunk into his seat as the few people sitting near them turned in his direction. "I just spoke to her, why didn't she say anything?"

"I asked her not to, I wanted to tell you myself." Sam sat forward. "The flat's a two bedroom." He looked at his brother with hopeful eyes. "You could come down with me, just for the few weeks until school starts……"

"I can't." With his meal now sitting heavy in his stomach Dean stood and dropped some money on the table. He needed out, needed air, the walls of the diner suddenly looming in on him.

"Dean please, just for a little while, who knows you might even like it there." Sam's voice had a desperate edge.

Leaning over his brother the older Winchester shook his head. "I can't Sam, alright? I just….I can't, besides dad would never agree to it."

"Well then stuff him. It's not like I was inviting him anyway." Sam's voice rose as he pushed himself free of the table and moved into Dean's space. "Can't you make a decision without worrying about dad's approval for once?"

He wanted to take it back the minute he saw the look on Dean's face, watched as his brother shut down. "I've got guns to finish cleaning."

With that Dean was gone and Sam resisted the urge to bang his own head off the door as he followed him out. It's not like he'd thought that Dean would say yes and just drop everything and go with him, except perhaps maybe it was, and that was the problem. For once Dean wasn't going to do what Sam wanted him to and Sam didn't like it, not one little bit. If it made him selfish though that he wanted his brother to go with him then so be it.

He used his long legs to catch up and, gripping Dean's arm, hurried to match his pace. "Dean look, I'm sorry." His brother didn't answer him but Sam felt his pace slacken, a little signal of acceptance of the apology. "It's just, if you came with me it would be better, feel right, you know?" Still there was no reply. Sam pushed on. "If you didn't want to study you could do something else, learn a trade…."

Dean snapped at him. "I got a trade, I'm a hunter, so just drop it Sam, dad needs me here, I'm not going with you." Sam snorted and Dean turned on him. "What?"

"Nothing it's just, John Winchester needing anyone, that's funny."

"Well I'm looking at the apple that didn't fall far from the tree then eh?"

Sam bristled and went to say something else but stopped as the door to the motel room swung open and John stepped out into the cold. "We got a live one, neighbour heard screaming and broke down the door, I'm going to the hospital, see if I can't get a word with him."

"I'll come too." Dean offered.

Sam shot his brother a look and then turned to his father. "No I'll go."

"Don't think so." Dean headed to the truck, huffing as Sam stepped in front of him. "Sam!"

"Don't you have guns to clean?" The youngest Winchester's face smirked into Dean's own.

"Don't you have research?," he bit back.

"This is research." Sam started to head for the truck but Dean pulled him back and stepped in front of him this time.

"No, this is case work, out in the real world Sam, you know, the not hiding from reality with your nose in a book world." His voice had an angry tone that he couldn't quite fight which caused his brother to square up to him.

John cast a quizzical eye over both of his boys, moving between them and into the unusual role of peacekeeper. "Maybe you should both stay here. Sam you could help him finish those guns, if this is a break in the case we're gonna need them ready, with the guy in the hospital we might get access to his house, see if there's anything there that'll help figure this one out."

"Then you take the hospital and I'll take the house." Dean started to move towards the Impala.

"No. We are not splitting up on this one. We have no idea what's in the house or even if it's still there. Get the guns cleaned Dean, I'll be back as soon as I can and then we can go to the house together." John opened the truck door and climbed in, rolling the window as he backed her out. "You boys be good now." He shook his head at the twin glares he received and pulled away. Dean waiting until the truck disappeared and then pushed his way by his brother and into the room, Sam shoving him back as he followed.

"I do not hide in books." Sam shrugged his jacket off and threw himself down at the table, missing the irony in his statement as he slide one towards him and opened it.

"Well you don't exactly live in the real world either Sammy." Dean shot back as he headed past him in the general direction of the bathroom.

"Pot and kettle." Sam slammed the book shut. "What would you know about living in the real world? You've got a screwed to hell version of the Twilight Zone for a life."

"And leaving this for college is your idea of stepping into reality?" Dean was mocking him now.

"Beats following John Winchester round, hanging onto his coat tails." Sam stood, stepped by his brother and slammed the bathroom door in his face.

"Hey I was going in there!" Dean pounded a fist on the door.

"I might be awhile." Sam called back and the shower went on.

"Sonuvabitch! Hope you drown," Dean said quietly as he walked back over to the table, lifting his dad's note book and reading the scrawled address on it. "Hanging onto dad's coat tails eh? Let's see about that."

He ripped the page out, crossed the room, lifted an assortment of guns that he thought he might need and headed out.

Sam came out to complete silence twenty minutes later, taking in the guns still lying on the bed and the fact that some were missing from the picture, then he turned and looked at the notebook on the table, the little tabs of paper clearly showing that someone had ripped the top page off. "Tell me you didn't." He grabbed a pencil and rubbed it over the page that was now on top, sighing as the imprint of the address become clear. "Idiot."

Pulling on his shirt, he grabbed his jacket, picked two guns and some clips at random and headed for the parking lot. Two minutes later he was sitting in a '95 version of an Impala, hoping that he'd catch his brother before something else got to him first.


	52. Chapter 52

Hey there, hope your Xmas and New Year were both good. Just a little chapter to move this on closer to the finish line and to give the muse a little kickstart.

So Dean was going off on his own……..

If You Get It Wrong.......You'll Get It Right Next Time

Dean skirted the edge of the house when he saw the police car sitting at the pavement outside and worked his way round the back, jumping the six foot fence with ease and dropping to the lawn on the other side. He glanced at the other two houses that bordered the one he was hiding behind and decided not to risk the flashlight that he had in his pocket for now. Using the fence for cover he made his way to the back porch, sighing when he took in the boarded up back door, realising this must be how the neighbour had gotten in.

"Great, just great." He stepped back and eyed the windows on either side. One was a kitchen one with a sink drainer full of dishes behind it and the other one had shutters drawn across the inside. Not trusting his luck to hold to them not being locked Dean stepped back and surveyed the upstairs windows. His face lightened when he saw that one of them was opened just a crack for ventilation. It broke out in a full blown smile when he saw the heavy duty trellis on the wall just over from it. Sidling across to it, he tested that it would hold his weight and then started to climb to the top. Once there he swung over to place his foot on the window ledge and then reached across, catching his fingers in the gap and slowly pushing the frame up. Satisfied that there was enough room to get himself through he stepped over fully onto the ledge and slipped inside.

Switching on the flashlight he kept the beam low and surveyed the room that he has just stepped into. It was a good sized bedroom, the bed in the centre of which was stripped of it's bedclothes, its pillows haphazardly thrown back down onto it. The lamp on the bedside table was overturned and there was glass on the floor from the light bulb. A large dresser sat between the window Dean had come in and the one over from him and what looked like a walk in closet was next to the bedroom door.

"Ok. Winchester lets do this," he whispered to himself quietly and he examined the bed, looking under it for vents, lifting the mattress and pulling the bed itself away from the wall. His search came up empty so he moved to the closet, pulling his .45 and using the flashlight to open the doors back. There were a few clothes in it and some boxes on the top shelf but nothing that caught Dean's eye so he closed the doors back over and headed out to check the rest of the house.

He didn't see the yellow eyes watching him from underneath the dresser.

---

Sam drove by the cop car sitting outside the front of the house and up to the next street, turning onto it and smiling as he saw the Impala parked up just a few yards ahead. "Great minds big bro'," he chuckled as he drove round her and pulled his version of the car to a halt next to the pavement. Getting out he followed, without knowing it, the exact same path that his brother had taken less than half an hour before, slipping over the fence and down into the garden. He lifted his head and took in the back of the house, noting straight away the window that Dean had opened to gain entry. Quickly sprinting across the grass he made the climb.

---

Without known what he was hunting Dean was struggling to find any clues except that the man that owned this house had few possessions and was super clean and tidy. The house was spotless, not a thing out of place. Reaching the kitchen he scanned the floor with his flashlight, partly for tripping hazards and partly because he'd never seen a kitchen floor this clean. The kitchen however was the only thing that had what could loosely be termed a mess in it and even then, the drying dishes were beautifully arranged on the drainer.

"Someone seriously needs to get a life," he observed as he ran a finger across the squeaky clean tabletop.

The noise from upstairs stopped him cold in his tracks. Lifting his head he waited to see if it came again and was rewarded seconds later with a squeak of floorboards directly above his head. He killed the flashlight, raised his gun and walked silently to the kitchen door. Moving quietly across the living room he paused briefly to check the way was clear before he started to climb the stairs. Back pressed against the wall, Dean slowly climbed upwards, each foot carefully pressed down to minimise any noise, gun at the ready. The figure moved out of the doorway as he rounded the top and he held his breath, aiming for the kill shot, not knowing what he was facing.

Resting his finger on the trigger he stepped forward and deliberately made a noise this time, watching the figure turn, the weapon in it's own hand glinting even in the poor light.

"Dean?"

His finger dropped instantly from the trigger at the sound of his brother's voice, the flick of the safety an almost automatic reflex. "Jesus Christ Sam!," he growled lowly at his brother. "What the friggin' hell are you playing at! I could've shot you!"

"Why'd you go off on your own? Hero time again is it," Sam hissed back at him.

"Screw you, you idiot. If you knew I was in here you know the drill, text or call if you're coming in! Damn it Sam, I could've killed you, still could in fact. Nearly gave me a heart attack man." Dean's attention was on his brother so he missed the little pair of yellow eyes that appeared on the cabinet at the top of the stairs. He gave a startled cry as the thing launched itself at him, losing his gun in an attempt to stop his backward motion, poised as he was, not quite on the top step. It didn't work. A cry escaped him as the weight of the cat landing on his chest overbalanced him and he tumbled backwards, head connecting with the banister and his ankle twisting as he hit the bottom step and ended up sprawled across the hallway floor.

"Dean!" Sam hurried down the stairs, barely noticing that the cat had faired better than his brother, sitting licking a paw four steps from the bottom. He slide to his knees beside Dean and pulled him upright, hand going to his head to check the damage.

"Ow! Go easy would you." Dean pushed his brother off and raised his own hand gingerly to the lump that was already forming on his forehead. "Sonuvabitch. Where is that damn cat?" The cat sat and stared at him for a second or two before turning, sticking it's tail in the air and walking off. Dean's anger blossomed as he called after it. "Lucky I dropped my damn gun or you'd just have used up all of your nine lives buddy!" Dean waited until Sam was on his feet again and the took the offered hand, groaning loudly as he tried to put weight on his busted ankle. "That's just awesome." He turned and scowled at his brother. "How am I supposed to climb outta here now? Why'd you follow me?" He hobbled along the banister and retrieved his gun, checking the safety was still on before he pocketed it.

"Because I was worried you'd get hurt." Sam moved forward, wanting to help but not daring to just take his brother's arm.

"Thanks for the concern but I wasn't in any danger until _you_ arrived. You gonna let me by?" Dean brushed by his sibling, starting up the stairs, one slow step at a time, his ankle throbbing with each one.

"Want me to find something to strap that?" Sam held out the olive branch of ministration.

Pausing for a rest Dean let out a long sigh and shook his head. "Na, let's just get the hell outta here."

---

The climb down the trellis wasn't as problematic as they thought it would be, Dean's arms strong enough to easily manage his weight as he swung down, gently easing down onto his good foot at the bottom.

The fence round the garden however was a whole other matter.

Sam watched his brother's first two attempts with amusement before Dean turned and glared at him. "D'you mind getting your fingers outta your ass and getting over here to help me?"

"Thought you didn't want my help?" Sam leant against the fence and smirked at his brother.

"Fine." Dean turned and gripped the top of the fence again, almost managing this time through sheer temper to get up far enough to hook his good leg over the top. Sam sighed and moved in to help, putting his hand under his brother and pushing until Dean was perched on the top of the fence.

"When I told you to get you hands outta your ass and help, I didn't mean you to stick them in mine." Dean grinned at him and Sam snapped. Reaching up he pushed the older Winchester over the edge, cringing at the startled yelp his brother let out and the soft thump and splash as he landed.

"Shit." Stepping back Sam ran at the fence, catching the top and swinging over effortlessly, dropping lightly to his feet beside his fallen brother, looking up only briefly to ensure that no one had heard them and that the cop was still in the car.

"Oh Dean, I'm sorry." Sam didn't really look sorry though, a small smile playing on his lips. Dean was lying in a deep puddle of mucky water which may or may not have been a pond at one time. Scowling at his brother he held up his hand and waited until Sam took it before putting all his strength into pulling the younger Winchester into the muck beside him.

"You jerk!" Sam hissed angrily.

"You were the bitch that threw me in here in the first place." Dean snorted and turned his head away.

"Are you laughing at me?" Sam pulled his brother to him, lifting a handful of the slimy muck and shoving it into Dean's face. "Grin round that!"

"Oh, it's on." Dean caught Sam's head and rolled them, pushing his brother firmly down with a squelching sound. He returned the favour of a face full of muck.

Sam spat some of the foul muck out as he spoke. "You're a dead man."

He tried to roll them back but Dean jammed his hand against the side and pinned him. "How'd you like that?"

The sound of the car door slamming stopped the wrestling match. Both boys looking up to see the cop walking down to the fence that surrounded the other house. Sam looked up at his brother and Dean started to chuckle quietly as they slunk down farther into the mucky slime. His whole body vibrated with the struggle to hold it in and that set Sam off too, having to put a mucky fist to his mouth to control any noise. The cop moved closer and Dean put a finger to his lips making Sam just roll his eyes. Did Dean honestly think that he was going to make a sound with the cop less than ten feet away? He almost did though moments later as Dean stuck a muck covered finger into his ear bringing his filthy palm across Sam's mouth just in time to stifle the yelp.

The cop shone the torch along the fence and they became two mud sculptures, hardly daring to breathe until finally the cop walked away and Dean rolled away from his brother, freeing Sam to allow him pull himself up. The younger Winchester contemplated for just a single moment leaving his brother lying there.

"So you're just gonna leave me behind then?" Dean's voice was light as he spoke, his face only changing as his brother's did, realising what he'd said. "Sam, I didn't meant that like that."

Sam held out his hand. "Pull me in again and I will."

Taking the pro-offered hand Dean got gingerly to his feet, letting his brother take most of his weight until he could catch his balance. "Thanks."

"Your welcome."

"Can you imagine the shit that we'd have caught from dad if that cop had caught us? Not like I can exactly run away." Dean laughed as he hopped two steps before Sam moved beside him and put Dean's arm over his shoulder.

"Not as much as we're gonna catch just for being here in the first place idiot. Let me help, just so that we can get out of here quicker." His brother hesitated and then accepted the gesture, leaning a little bit more than he would have liked on his younger sibling.

"You stink." Dean screwed his face up as they walked/hobbled back to the cars.

"Yeah? We'll so do you." Sam flicked a little bit of mud that was stuck to his finger at his brother's face scoring a direct hit on his nose and earning himself a punch in the arm.

"And don't think that you're getting in my car cover in all that crap," Dean gestured to Sam's clothing.

"I got my own car." He pointed to the car that was parked in front of the Impala as they round the corner into the street. His older brother snorted derisively.

"_That_ is not a car. _That_ is A to B in a tin box." He pointed to his Impala. "_That_ is a car." He hobbled to the trunk and gave his baby a pat, frowning at the muddy mark his hand left there, before he opened the lid and pulled out two pairs of sweats, a couple of old t-shirts and two water bottles. "They're mine, but beggars and all that." He held out the clothes to Sam and then started to shrug out of his jacket.

"You're going to change here?" Sam looked up and down the deserted street.

"I'm sorry, I left the changing booth in dad's truck. Yeah I'm gonna change here." Dean stripped out of his soiled shirt and t-shirt, rinsed his arms with some of the water and slipped the clean one on. "You can drive home with that crap hardening on your jeans if you want, but believe me, it won't be fun. Been there, got the postcard. Hence the spare clothes in permanent residence in the trunk."

Sam looked round again and sighed, starting to shrug out of his top layers as he did. Dean had somehow managed to get out of his jeans, changed into the sweats and pulled his boots back on loosely before Sam had his jeans more than halfway off. "How the hell did you do that so quickly? I can't get these jeans off, the damn things are clinging to me."

Dean's grin was face splitting. "A lifetime of practice, not the first time I've had to get changed or dress in a hurry, you know." He winked at his brother.

"No, I don't think I want to know, but I've got a good idea. Is that why you're so damn good and breaking and entering as well?" Sam finally freed his legs from the jeans, throwing all his wet stuff in the trunk on top of his brother's.

"Depends what you mean by breaking in and entering?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Sam did laugh this time.

"You're an idiot." Sam changed the subject from Dean's almost mentions of his conquests, frowning at the trouble Dean had moving from the back of the car to the driver's door. "You're right though, that car is a piece of crap. Think I'll come with you. Can I get to drive a real car?" He held out his hand watching as Dean's face briefly showed a flicker of understanding.

He made a show of not really wanting to hand over the keys, pulling them back as Sam reached for them, long gone the days he could just dangle them out of reach over his brother's head. "Fine. Not one scratch. Hear me?"

"Yeah. No scratches." Sam snatched the keys. "Get in and slide across, I ain't waiting for you to drag your sorry ass round her."

Dean got in and did just that, waiting until Sam had turned the car before he spoke again. "So, how do we explain this away to dad in a way that won't end in an ass chewing?"

"Just tell him that I beat up on you." The younger Winchester didn't turn but Dean could see he was smiling.

"Something believable please." It was quiet for a moment while Dean thought. "Hey, we could tell him that a Wendigo knocked on the motel room door and I sprained my ankle wrestling it to the ground as you hid behind the couch."

"Now _that's_ believable," Sam shook his head at his brother.

"More believable than you beating me in a fight."

"I could take you anytime."

"Keep telling yourself that if it gets you through the day." The older brother rested his head back on the seat top.

"We could always tell him the truth?" Sam turned to his brother briefly and Dean nodded.

"Not like he wouldn't find out anyway. Man's a damned mind reader when it comes to us lying to him. Let's just get back and get this over with."

Sam turned the car onto the road that the motel was on. "Do you think that he'll have found something out at the hospital?"

"Hope so. It'll put him in a better mood at least. Still we saved him from having to go check the house so he'll be grateful."

Sam choked on the laugh. "Yeah, that'll be the day."

"Never know today just might be," Dean answered with more optimism than he felt.

-------

"You did what!?" John roared at them as they sat side by side on the bed, heads down not looking at the raging monster in front of them. "What were my last words to you Dean? Don't go to the house alone!" He waved at his son's elevated and iced foot. "Look what happens when you two don't listen to me."

"I didn't go alone, Sam came with me," Dean protested. "It was only a cat."

Sam chimed in. "It was my fault. I startled a cat and it knocked Dean down the stairs."

John huffed, rubbing at his forehead as he glared at his two sons. "And what if it hadn't been a cat? What if it had been something that neither of you could handle?"

"So, you being there would have made a difference?" Sam offered in a way too polite tone earning him his brother's elbow in his ribs.

"No. Not necessarily, but it wouldn't have been a bad thing!" He stomped closer. "Look at me!"

The two heads came up in unison.

"So tell me EXACTLY what happened." He crossed his arms and waited for one of them to speak.

It was Dean that volunteered the information. "We drove to the house, went in, and split to search it. I was coming up the stairs and Sam startled the cat. It jumped me, I fell and I hurt my ankle. We didn't find anything else so we split and came back here." He looked at his brother. "Did I miss anything?"

"You missed out the part when you screamed like a girl as the cat hit you," Sam snarked quietly.

"I did not!" Dean rounded on him.

"Did too."

"Enough!" John held up a hand. "Explain the clothes drying on the radiators."

"I fell into a pond, Sam slipped in trying to help me out." Dean informed him.

"Dragged me in as well more like," Sam groused.

"Seems you've become kinda clumsy lately, need to see about a little extra training when that foot's up to it." John's smile was evil and Dean frowned at his father. "Anyway, if the house is clean then it's a dead end which is good." Both brothers looked at him, waiting for the ball to drop. "Means you can both work at getting those guns cleaned. I'm going for a shower and then I'm going to turn in." He turned and walked away, grabbing the t-shirt and bottoms that he usually slept in. "I expect those done when I get up," he called back to them as he shut the bathroom door behind him.

Dean waited until the water went on and punched his brother on the arm. "Did not scream like a girl."

"Stop your bitching and get cleaning, it's all your fault anyhow." Sam grabbed the nearest gun, waiting until his brother copied him before dropping his eyes to the task in hand.

----

Dean woke with a start, his loud curse enough to draw his brother quickly out of his own sleep, hand reaching for the .45 that was resting on the bedside table.

"What's up?," he whispered as he scanned the room for anything that could have cause his brother's reaction, sitting up as he did.

"Get dad." Dean was struggling to right himself, pulling back the cover and freeing his leg from the pillows that were holding the cover off it.

"You ok?" Sam could feel concern run through him, checking his brother for signs of distress even as he stood to go get John.

"Just get him." There was irritation and anger in Dean's voice but Sam realised it wasn't directed at him. He set off to get John and by the time they had returned Dean had pulled himself into an upright sitting position.

The concern in Sam's voice was now mirrored in his father's own as he spoke. "What is it? Are you ok?" John was crouched over him now, a hand on his shoulder.

"It's the cat!" Dean held out his hand for his father to pull him to his feet but John ignored it.

"The cat?" he questioned his son even as he raised his hand to check Dean's temperature.

His son batted it away. "I'm fine. There were no food bowls in the kitchen, no litter tray either. The cat doesn't belong to the guy. It's the damn cat. Whatever it is, it's the thing killing these people." Dean tried again to get help to get to his feet but John's hand remained on his shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Dean sighed into his father's face. "We need to go back to the house, see if it's still there. Probably only kills when there is no one else in the place, the neighbour coming in spoiled its plans for the guy…..."

"…..and me arriving at the house stopped it attacking you." Sam finished for him, only realising his slip as his brother groaned his name.

"So….you guys went together?" John stood and crossed his arms, glaring at both his sons.

"I went, Sam followed." Dean waved his hand impatiently at his father. "Help me up."

John walked away, signalling to Sam to get dressed as he did. "You've got two minutes, and bring that gun."

His eldest son's voice was sharp when he spoke. "Hey, wait a minute! What about me?"

John turned. "What about you? You're injured, you'd slow us down, so you…get to stay here."

"What? No way!" Dean struggled to get to his feet again, grimacing at the pain that shot up his ankle.

His father walked back to the bed. "If you had done as I asked then you wouldn't be hurt and then you would be going with us. As it is, you get to sit this one out." He looked up at his now dressed younger son. "Come on, let's get this over with." John turned back to Dean. "Don't even think of following us."

"But you don't know what it is."

"Neither do you, besides like you said, it doesn't attack if there's more than one person involved so we'll be quite safe."

With that he pushed Sam through the door and slammed it behind them.

Dean waited until the front door slammed too before letting out his favourite curse. "SONUVABITCH!" He peeled his knife from under the pillow and impaled the door with it in a fit of bad temper. "You guys better come back in one piece this time!," he shouted to now empty room before collapsing back on the bed.

---

Sam pushed opened the door to the motel room and stopped dead earning a rebuke from his father as John crunched into his back. His father's complaint died on his lips though as he took in the disarray that greeted them.

"What the hell? DEAN!" John pulled his gun, moving past Sam and heading for the bedroom. It was his younger son's turn to run into his father's back as John stopped as quickly as Sam had at the previous door.

Dean was sitting on the now shredded bed, his arms rivers of blood from the scratches on him but with a very satisfied grin on his face. "So I take it the house was a bust seeing as how the hunt seems to have come to me."

Both of the other Winchesters stepped into the room, surveying the damage and the dead cat that lay at Dean's feet.

"It doesn't like it if you fight back," Dean said as he held up his arms so that his family could examine his war wounds. "Fought for everyone of it's damn nine lives too and since somebody took my gun…," he threw a look at his now sheepish brother, "….I had to drag my ass round the living room looking for another one, all while it was playing shred the Winchester! Iron kills it by the way, whatever the heck it is."

John walked over and picked the cat up by the tail, frowning at the mess of the dead creature. "Really did a number on it there Dean."

"Well, I had to kinda batter it off the floor and the walls as I hunted around for a weapon, either that or let it have free rein at me. I know how it kills them too," he smirked knowingly.

John raised an interested eyebrow.

"Woke up with it on my face." He shivered as he spoke. "It was lying over my mouth and nose. Damn effective way to suffocate someone."

"That'll explain the scratches on your ears and cheeks then." John's lips quivered at the edge as he tried not to laugh at the state of his son, his normally tousled hair a lot more tousled than usual and claw marks visible just about everywhere.

"Glad my suffering amuses you."

"You know that there is a joke in all of this…don't you?" John's lips did quirk up this time. Dean shook his head.

"Yeah there probably is, but so help me God if you use it, your joining the _cat_." He emphasised the word wondering just how many pussy cat jokes were going to come his way. "Can someone get me the antiseptic from the bathroom. I think I've got cat cooties."

John did laugh that time. "Sam can you help your brother, I'm gonna find out what the heck this is and then dispose of it."

Sam waited until John was gone and then started to laugh. "Can't leave you alone for a minute can we?"

Dean raised his hands. "No you really can't. I think I've got a homing beacon for all things supernatural…it's like, hey look it's Dean Winchester…sic 'm." Grabbing his throat in a overtly theatrical manner he fell back on the bed, groaning when bits of the shredded bedspread stuck to some of his cuts. "Damn it," he cursed as he tried to de-fluff himself.

His brother sniggered and then shrugged. "Trouble will always find its way to us. We're just that lucky. Stop that, you'll hurt yourself. I'll get some water and a cloth to get that off and the antiseptic, oh and some antibiotics…just in case. You might as well take what's left of that t-shirt off while I do."

His lip falling Dean looked down at his chest. "I liked this t-shirt as well. Damn cat."

---

The creature turned out to be a relation of an Egyptian deity which resides in the form of a cat, except this one didn't just lie on your legs and make them numb, it lay on your face until you suffocated and then stole your soul as it left the body. Dean didn't care what it was, only that it was dead. Now all he wished for was the jokes to die too.

They had kept coming thick and fast over the last few weeks. Sam and the fur ball remedies on the bathroom shelf. John and the cat milk in the fridge. A standing joke of him going out on the prowl every time he left the motel. Bobby sent him a packet of cat nibbles. Julie-Anne sent a text that she had bought him some catnip that earned a comment from Sam about them definitely NOT needing that.

He rode with the punches though because the little incident had lifted the pressures between his family somehow and the atmosphere was decidedly more pleasant now than it had been in ages. Sam was back on the hunts. John had stopped being polite and had gone back to growling at both of them. It was as close to a feeling of normality as Dean could wish for but at the edge of it the clock was still ticking and suddenly somehow it was May and Sam's birthday.

This would be his last one on the road with his brother, maybe the last birthday that they would share together ever and Dean wanted to make it something that Sam would remember.

All he had to do was figure out how.


	53. Chapter 53

Author's Chapter Notes:

Hey there. Here is a chapter for Sam's birthday and then we will be moving on to his departure for college next and a little of the after and then this tale will be done. Don't worry about the ending, it's isn't something bad waiting to happen! Promise!

Feels Like A Birthday

Sam stretched out a yawn as he walked through from the bedroom of the small apartment that they had been in for the last two weeks and took in the sight of his brother packing the last of his clothes into a duffle. The place had been tidied and there was a distinct lack of John.

"Where's dad?" Sam moved forward as he spoke following the smell of coffee, snatching a mug and pouring himself some as Dean finished what he was doing.

"On the way to Bobby's. Figured you and I could take the scenic route and catch him up in a day or two." Sam handed his brother the cup of coffee that he had automatically poured for him and sat down at the table.

"He went on ahead without us? Why?"

"Told him that I wanted to stop somewhere to celebrate you getting old tomorrow. He said he'll catch you when we get to Bobby's."

"We're celebrating my birthday this year?" Sam raised his head, an enquiring look on his face.

"Well yeah, I know we don't normally but it ain't every day that you turn eighteen. Thought you and I could head west a little, have some fun and enjoy some down time."

"Where'd you have in mind?"

Dean grinned. "Tell you when we get there."

"Am I going to like this?" Sam queried.

"Friggin' hope so. Drink up and let's get on the road."

Dean's idea of fun and his own differed in so many ways that Sam wasn't sure if the ripple through his stomach was excitement or dread. He downed his coffee and headed to get dressed.

---

It was definitely excitement that was running through Sam now, Dean's lightened mood spreading to him and making his stomach churn. "You brought me to Vegas?" Sam asked for the fourth time as he turned to stare at his brother who was skilfully pulling the Impala into the heavy traffic on the strip. "Is it your birthday or mine?" There was a slight trace of laughter in his voice as he teased his brother's choice of venue.

"Don't worry Sammy I ain't gonna drag you round shows to stare at naked women." Dean grinned at him. "At least not until I've got you drunk." He flicked his eyebrow suggestively.

"So what do you have planned?" The lights from the hotels caught Sam's eye, and he stared out the window, a little awe struck, at the mirad of colours that assaulted his optical nerves.

"Patience little brother, patience." Dean pulled the car over and started to turn into one of the entrances for the hotels, Sam's jaw dropping open when he realised what one.

"Wait, we're staying here?" Sam looked across at the fountains that seemed to almost be right outside the car window. "The Bellagio?"

Dean smiled across at him. "Yeah. I remembered you saying when you were watching that programme about it being built how you'd like to get to stay here, even if it was just for the night. How it would never happen. Well here we are. You like?"

"Oh yeah!" Sam replied. "How the hell did you afford this?" His tone sounded more worried as reality dropped back down on him.

"I had a few lucky runs at poker and pool the last couple of weeks, that and Julie-Anne knows someone that works here." He pulled the car to a halt at the front and motioned for his brother to get out. "I'm gonna go park her. Walk round the fountain until I get back." The smile turned cryptic. "And get the bags."

Sam took the bags and watched as his brother pulled off. Waving away the offer of help from a member of the hotel staff Sam shouldered one duffle and carried the other, heading in the direction of the water display behind him. He wondered briefly what his brother had planned for him as he wandered round watching the ever changing display and marvelling at the technology that allowed this display of living art, his geek side going into overload just a little at the thought of perhaps finding out how it all worked. The hand to his shoulder brought his attention back to the here and now and he turned, expecting his brother but instead being met with the smiling face of Julie-Anne.

"Hey! How'd you end up here?" Sam dropped the bags to his feet and hugged her to him.

"Same way you did. Dean made me," she laughed, pushing him off and turning as she did. "This is Jane."

A pretty brunette with green eyes offered him her hand and smiled at him. "Hi," she said shyly as he took it.

"Hi." _I'm going to kill him. He's set me up on a blind date._ Julie-Anne whispered something to Jane that made her laugh, her eyes lighting up with a mischievous sparkle as she pushed her friend and discreetly gave Sam the once over, blushing as he caught her. _Ok, might just let him off this time._

"Dean told me that he was going to bring you here and go do a show or something so I figured that I'd swing round and visit the birthday boy."

"And getting to see my brother again had nothing to do with it," Sam teased her gently.

"It might have played a little part, where is he anyway?," she chuckled.

"Parking the car."

"You guys have heard of valet parking?" Julie-Anne questioned, raising a hand to brush the hair from her face as she did.

Sam snorted. "Dean let someone else drive and park the Impala? Do you know nothing about my brother? That plus, valet parking isn't a good idea when you've got the stuff that we have in the trunk."

"Oh yeah. Forgot."

She squeaked as Dean moved up silently behind her, grabbing her and lifting her off her feet. "This woman annoying you little brother?"

"Put me down Winchester!" She slapped at the hands that were fastened round her waist. Lowering her back to let her feet touch, he spun her round to face him.

"You made it then." He smiled over at her companion. "And you brought a friend. Hi, I'm Dean."

Jane took his hand. "Jane. Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you." The little light danced in her eye again.

Dean looked sternly at Julie-Anne who laughed and kissed him. "Don't worry, I censored it. You boys ready to go inside?"

"Sure. Did you get the room keys?"

Julie-Anne waved the cards at him. "Not a motel Dean, no keys."

"If it opens the door," he said as he picked up his bag. "It's a key. So what is the room like?"

"Un-friggin' believable. Wait to you guys see it.!"

---

It turned out that Julie-Anne had managed to finesse a suite rather than the rooms that Dean had asked for her help with. He pulled her aside as Sam entered in front of them, his mouth falling open as he took in the room that he'd just walked into. "I can't afford to pay you back for all this, it was just suppose to be a room."

She kissed his cheek. "Don't worry. It wasn't any dearer than getting two rooms for you guys, besides part of this is my birthday treat for Sam too."

"_No way_ this wasn't dearer….."

She cut him off. "One word. Mom. I asked and she delivered. Now shut up and enjoy it. What do you think?"

Dean gave the room a quick glance over and then looked to where his brother was standing talking animatedly to Jane, excitement on their faces and their noses almost pressed through the window. He smiled. "It's perfect."

Julie-Anne tugged his arm and brought his attention back to her. "I left you guys some new clothes in the bedrooms," she said, a laugh escaping her at his look. "What? I need my arm candy to look the part. We'll be back up at eight for you, we can get something to eat and then hit the town."

"Sounds like a plan. I ain't eating here though, need to find someplace that serves real food."

"Already have and it is here. Jane and I are going to get beautified and then we'll be back. I'll take your key, I need it for the elevator." She grabbed one of the key cards from the table and, ignoring his remark about it not being a motel and not having keys, called to Jane who was still chatting away merrily to Sam. "Come on girl, sooner you leave him, sooner you'll get back."

With that they left the boys to it, Dean looking over at Sam with a cautious smile on his face. "Well? Do you like?"

His brother nodded. "I feel like Alice in Wonderland, like someone has dropped me down the rabbit hole into a whole other world," he replied a little giddily. "You shouldn't have done this, it's too much."

"Dude, always with the girly analogies! Don't tell me I wasted Jane's time?" Sam scowled at his brother and Dean chuckled. "Your eighteen Sam, except if anyone here asks you're twenty-one." Dean pulled a fake id in Sam's own name from his pocket and handed it to his brother. " You don't get to do eighteen more than once. Besides, it was either this or give you the car and there is no way that I'm parting with the Impala dude, not even for you, so you'll just have to do with second best."

Sam grinned widely. "What? I don't get the car? Damn. Guess this'll have to do then." He strode over and hugged his brother quickly. "Thanks." He stepped back and headed for one of the bathrooms.

Dean waited until the door shut and then clapped his hands together with a little expression of glee on his face. "Ok, shower first." He headed for the bathroom at the other end of the room, stopping in the door and calling to his brother. Sam's head appeared. "Don't use all the hot water bitch!"

Shaking his head, Sam huff good naturedly. "Such a jerk!" Dean laughed out loud as his brother slammed the door and then turned to survey the bathroom and the huge shower, his thoughts turning to getting Julie-Anne up here with him even as he stripped and stepped under the, for once hot, jets of water.

---

They met back up at the suite after Dean had taken advantage of the 'I could live in this' walk in shower, the wet bar and the room's entertainment system. Sam had sampled the delights of the spa bath, surviving the barrage of girl jokes that his admission of delight in it had sparked from his brother.

They were both looking decidedly cleaner than what they had when they arrived. Julie-Anne whistled her appreciation at the two figures clad in new black denim jeans and soft cotton shirts, Dean's a deep green and Sam's a deep chocolate colour. She turned to Jane, laughing as her friend eyed Sam hungrily. "He does look good enough to eat." She stepped forward and grabbed Dean's arm, waiting until Sam walked forward and took Jane's. "Let go people."

Dinner was at the steakhouse and even Dean couldn't finish all his main meal, despite his best efforts, but he still made room somehow for dessert when no one else could face one.

Sam groaned and sat back as he finished eating. "I may never have to eat again." Three voices chorused their agreement.

They moved on after that to a show and Sam felt an almost childlike delight when he realised that Dean had got tickets for a magic show in the lounge of one of the other hotels. He sat enthralled, watching the show and giggling with Jane, both trying to work out the tricks. He didn't see that Dean was watching, a look of contentment on his face at his brother's joy.

Julie-Anne tugged his sleeve. "He's having a good time and Jane really likes him."

Dean turned, his smile bright. "Yeah. Thanks for helping me with this. I just wanted him to have a normal day, you know? Well palatial hotel room aside, normal."

"You can thank me properly later." There was a flash of heat in her eyes.

"I intend to," he answered, his eyes mirroring hers.

----

Sam chattered all the way back to the hotel about the show, the other having to remind him on more than one occasion that they were actually there too. His enthusiasm was infectious though and by the time they got back to the hotel they were all buzzing.

Dean took Sam to play some of the tables while the girls watched and the whoop of delight that went up when Sam won had heads turning until they realised that it wasn't a big win just a group of over enthusiastic tourists.

By three in the morning even Dean was flagging so they made their way back up to the suite. Dean threw himself down on the couch and pulled Julie-Anne down with him. "Well that was quite a night," he said yanking off his shoes and resting back. "What are you two up to?"

Sam and Jane where whispering to each other, stopping as Dean addressed them, a warm smile appearing on his little brother's flushed face. "I had the best time tonight Dean."

"Good." Dean hadn't missed how his brother's hand was holding Jane's, his thumb sliding gently across hers. "Happy Birthday Sam."

"Thanks." He looked at Jane, the flush creeping further up his skin. "So we thought that we'd just go through and leave you two alone for a bit" he said, hooking a thumb at the bedroom door behind him and trying desperately not to meet his brother's eye.

Dean bit back the snarky remark that was begging for release at the fact that Sam was going to spending the night with Jane. Tonight was Sam's birthday, he'd torture him about it tomorrow. "Ok, but we were gonna turn in ourselves anyway." He stood and lifted a surprised Julie-Anne up into his arms, earning a thump.

"Put me down idiot," she said even as she tightened her arms around his neck and lent back, now staring at an upside down Sam and Jane. "You kids behave now. Don't do anything we wouldn't do."

Two flushed faces made both Dean and her laugh and Sam waved a hand at them even as he backed towards the bedroom door. "You're worse than him."

Julie-Anne shook her head. "Not possible. G'night." Dean and her disappeared behind the door and there was a little scream followed by a lot of laughter.

"You're brother's nice." Jane lifted her hands and brushed back Sam's hair from his face.

"He's the best."

"Hold that thought. Julie-Anne and I can compare notes in the morning." She giggled as he blushed again and kissed him as they moved through the door. "Going to show me that bath that you were so taken with earlier?"

Sam swallowed hard and nodded, taking her hand and leading her through.

---

It was still early when Sam woke up, a little smile on his face as he took in the sleeping woman beside him. He lay there for a bit, trying to get back to sleep but he couldn't, deciding that the bed was almost too comfortable to actually be comfy. Sighing he threw back the covers and grabbed one of the hotel bathrobes, tying it tightly and padding barefooted out into the main room.

Dean was sitting on the floor near the window watching the fountains going through their cycle of colours and water jets. His brother's head turned, surprise and a smile on his face as Sam grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and flopped to the floor across from him.

"Dude! Legs or shorts!" Dean gestured and turned away as Sam realised that he had probably just flashed his brother and quickly rearranged his legs on the floor.

"Sorry. Couldn't you sleep?" He sipped the water and he too looked out to watch the fountains dancing in the breaking light of the dawn.

"Nah. I think the bed's too clean, not used to having nothing biting my ass when I'm trying to sleep."

"You kicked Julie-Anne out then?" Sam wise-cracked with a way too straight face causing his brother to snort into the bottle of beer that he held.

"Funny guy. Jane still sleeping?"

"Yeah."

"So, you guys have fun?" Dean asked, a little suggestion easing into his voice.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells, but we had fun." He lent closer to Dean. "My birthday was awesome."

Dean smiled. "Good." He lifted the booklet that was lying open in his lap and handed it to his brother. "Got this for you geek boy." It was about the hotel and the fountains. "Thought you'd have to know how everything worked." Turning he looked out the window again. "They're kinda cool to watch. Kinda pretty even." A little curse escaped him as the words did.

"Pretty?" Sam choked on his drink. "Did you just use the word pretty?" The laugh earned him a punch to the knee.

"Shut up! You know what I mean." Dean searched for a better word. "I like them."

"I like them too." Sam flicked through the booklet, reading little snatches as his brother continued to watch the dancing waters below. "This is great. Where did you get it?"

"Julie-Anne saw it in the gift shop, drew my attention to it. See even she thinks you're a geek."

They sat for a while after that, Sam telling Dean random facts about the fountains and just chatting in general until Sam realised that he hadn't asked the question. "Does dad know that we're here?"

Dean tore his eyes from view. "In Vegas? Yeah. In the Bellagio? Hell no. He'd have a fit at the ammo money we've just blown on this little trip."

Sam chuckled. "So, our little secret then?"

"Damn straight." He held up his bottle and Sam chinked his water against it.

"Guess I'm going to try and get back to sleep." Sam stood and headed back to the bedroom door, pausing when he got there. "Truth? It's weird not sleeping in the same room as you snoring your ass off." He smiled back over his shoulder at his brother.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Guess it's just something that we're gonna have to get used to." Dean didn't look at him, instead he held his gaze on the day breaking outside the window.

"Guess so. For what it's worth, I'm going to miss you." Sam didn't wait for an answer, just pushed his way back through the door.

"Yeah, me too." Dean said to no one, letting his head fall against the cold glass of the window, starting when a hand reached down and touched his shoulder. He looked up at Julie-Anne's reflection in the glass.

"Hey." She placed a kiss to his neck and settled down next to him.

"Hey." He turned then pulling her into a kiss and draping an arm round her shoulders, only noticing the envelope in her hand as she put it down on the floor to steady herself and regain her balance. "What's that?"

"I didn't want to bring it up earlier or until we were alone. Mom gave me it." She held it out to him. "It's for Sam."

Dean's eyebrow kinked a little as he took it from her, quickly checking the contents and then he pocketed it, turning back to the view with an unreadable expression on his face. "I'll give it to him in the morning."

She wanted to kiss away the pain in his voice. "You coming to back to bed?"

He shook his head. "Not tired."

Julie-Anne leant up to whisper in his ear. "That…wasn't what I asked." She straightened up and held out her hand to him. "Come on, let's see if I can't put a smile back on that pretty face and then lull you back to sleep."

He sighed. "You and your mom…always with the pretty." Dean let her pull him back into the bedroom, trying to ignore the weight of the envelope in his pocket.

---

Sam smiled as he rolled over and caught sight of Jane staring at him. "Morning."

Colour highlighted her cheeks again as she smiled back. "Morning."

He lay there feeling a little awkward, not sure what he should be saying or doing next.

Jane broke the silence. "I don't normally do this, not sure if we should be back at it or getting dressed, saying goodbyes and running for the hills," she joked trying to lighten the tension.

"What would you like to do?," Sam asked shyly. She snuggled into the covers.

"Actually. I'm good here." She leant over and kiss him gently, both of them jumping as a fist pounded on the room door.

"Sammy? You decent in there?" Dean's voice sounded through the door.

Jane giggled and slipped further under the covers as Sam answered. "Yes. What'd you want?"

A head was stuck round the door. "You guys behaving or does my timing suck?" Dean grinned at him.

Sam threw a pillow. "You here for a reason or just to try and torment us?"

"There's food out here it you guys want some, but I'd hurry, 'cos Julie-Anne worked up an appetite this morning and she's working her way through a piece of everything as we speak."

"I heard that Winchester," Julie-Anne's voice drifted through to them. "Pot and kettle, I wasn't the one that ate all the bacon!"

Sam gave his brother an amused look." We'll be out in a minute."

As his brother's head disappeared Sam sighed, pulling back the covers and starting to get up. "So did you have a good birthday?" Jane slipped out of the bed and pulled a robe on.

"If you had said that you were taking me to Vegas for my birthday I would probably have said no thanks. Not my thing. This has been great though, the hotel, the show…." He smiled. "….you." He placed a gentle kiss on her nose. "Best birthday ever."

Dean and Julie-Anne were both dressed and sitting side by side on the couch, sharing a newspaper when they walked through. The scene was so domesticated and so un-Dean like that Sam couldn't help but chuckle. "God , look at you two." He grabbed some toast and slide down into the seat across from them, Jane moving to sit beside him.

"What?" Dean raised his eyes from the paper.

"You're sitting there reading the morning papers. Hell you've even split one between you!"

"And?," his brother asked defensively.

Sam struggle for the word he wanted. "It's all so…._normal _You look like an old married couple."

Dean and Julie-Anne exchanged a horrified look at the 'married couple' remark and then she pulled the paper from Dean and handed it to Sam. "Yeah but your brother is looking at the obits for sudden deaths and the crime beat pages, not the sports."

"I can do normal." Dean chimed in, sounding offended.

"I know." Sam hand his brother back the pages. "It's all just a little surreal, what with the hotel room and everything."

Folding the paper the elder Winchester leaned forward. "You ready to go back to reality?"

Sam looked at sadly at Jane but still nodded. "You know what? I think I am."

----

Four hours later they had dropped the girls off and were sitting in a tatty little diner, its seats ripped and patched with duct tape and the smell of grease hanging in the air.

"This more like it?" Dean sipped at his coffee and made a face as the bitter taste hit him.

"Yeah." Sam played with his fork, stabbing idly at the food in front of him.

"What?" Dean knew that his brother was thinking even as he asked the question. "Still worried that you won't fit in at college?"

Sam shrugged. "Maybe. A little."

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother. "Sam I love ya, but you're a geek. College is designed for people like you. You'll fit in, believe me." He fished in his pocket. "Almost forgot, I got you something."

Sam looked at the long box that his brother had laid on the table. "What's this?"

"Open it and see."

It was a silver pen set but it wasn't an ordinary one. Sam's eyes widen as he took in the symbols engraved on them and looked back up at his brother. "These are amazing. Are those wards engraved on these?" He rolled one of the pens round in his hand to take in all the symbols that were beautifully etched onto its surface.

"Yup. Thought that they'd keep you safe at college." Dean fiddled with the napkin as he spoke.

"These are really unusual. Where did you get them?"

Dean's face flushed briefly. "I didn't get them anywhere. Well, I bought the pens but the engraving was me."

Sam's head shot up in surprise. "You did this? My god Dean, this must have taken you forever, they're so small to work on. When did you do this?"

"Jim has a friend, he does cups and things for the church clubs? I asked him to show me how and he let me use his equipment."

"These are….these….." Sam dropped his head, his emotions welling a little at his brother's gift.

"Practical and protecting. Didn't think I'd let you go to college naked, did ya?" Dean played with his ring trying to ignore the fact that his brother was fighting for control. He pushed back the chair and stood, dropping money on the table as he did. "I need to hit the head. Go wait for me in the car. Ooh…I got something else for you."

"Dean….!" Sam didn't think that he could take anything else from his brother at the moment. The envelope dropped on the table in front of him and he frowned at the writing on it, his name scrawled on it in a hand that he didn't recognise. Dean enlightened him.

"Agnes gave Julie-Anne this. It's bus tickets and shit that you'll need for when you leave. Seems she already knew that we'd be at Bobby's place, must have spoke to him about it. I'll meet you in the car." There was a choked sound to his brother's voice that kept Sam's eyes firmly routed to the envelope.

Waiting until Dean was gone Sam ran his hand loving across the pen one more time before he put it back in the box and pocketed it. He opened the envelope and surveyed its contents. The tickets were from South Dakota to Palo Alto and there was a key, some money and a couple of letters, the contents of which Sam quickly scanned as he stood and walked to the diner door. One was directions to the apartment and the other was a letter of introduction for the job that she had set him up with. Nestling in the corner of the envelope was also a little good luck charm that made him smile.

He pushed out into the parking lot, guilt and relief now playing on him with equal measure.

----

Dean had finally had to pull in and let Sam drive for a spell, between his mind refusing to switch off about the fact that his brother was leaving in a couple of weeks and Julie-Anne keeping him awake, he was beat.

"Call it an extra birthday treat," he advised his brother as he slumped into the passenger seat, feeling more comfortable there with his old leather jacket over him that he had in the bed with the expensive Egyptian cotton sheets. Closing his eyes he drifted off.

He was torn from his peaceful dreaming when he felt the engine cut out and heard the curse escape from his younger brother's lips. He turned his head and stared at Sam.

"What…did you just do?" His voice carried more menace than he meant it to.

Sam swallowed nervously and held his hands up in a defensive gesture. "I didn't _do _anything…it…" Dean's glare hardened. Sam rolled his eyes. "…_she _just died." Sam tried the key again and the engine made some half hearted attempts at turning over before it quit again.

Dean stretched and sighed. "What did you do to my car? I just serviced her, _this _should not be happening!"

"Nothing, it…she just quit on me!"

Dean gave him a look that could freeze water. "My car does not just quit! What…did…you…do?!"

Sam's voice carried annoyance in it now. "Nothing! I didn't to a damn thing to it."

"Maybe if you'd stop calling _her_ an _it_." Dean grumbled under his breath. "Get out."

Sam took a look at the rain that had started to fall but decided now was not the time to argue. He got as Dean slid across the seat and turned the key. "Come on baby don't do this to me." The engine gave a more spirited attempt to catch this time and Dean almost grinned before it died again. "Sonuvabitch." Dean rested his head briefly on the steering wheel and then got out. Sam watched as his brother popped the hood.

"What d'you think it is?"

"If I knew Sam I wouldn't be standing here scratching my head." Dean scratched as he spoke.

Sam rolled his eyes again and leaned on the wing. "What are you going to do?"

"Go by the numbers, eliminate what it ain't and then I should know what it is." Dean stuck his head under the hood and went to work.

Sam stood watching his brother for a while and then decided he could at least go do some research and make himself useful. That plus the fact that it wasn't raining in the car. He pulled opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat.

Lost in his work it tool two attempts for Dean to catch his attention when he called to him. "Sam? Turn her over would you?" Sam reached over and tried to start her. Nothing.

"Sam?!" Dean's head appeared at the side of the hood.

"I turned it…she's still dead Dean." He cringed as his brother's face grew dark and he disappeared under the hood again. Dean's curses were so loud that they filtered into the car. It was a long time since Dean had cursed at the car like that. It so wasn't a good sign.

"Try it again!" Dean's voice bellowed through the silence of the back road they were on.

Sam did. Nothing. "Still dead."

"Sonuvabitch. Piece of junk." Sam watched in amusement as Dean slammed the hood down, patted it and then rested his head on it. His brother was going to be a joy to be around for the next few hours.

Sam stuck his head out of the car window. "Want me to call Bobby?"

Dean groaned and then shoved himself up off of the hood, nodding as he walked round to the door. "This so better not be something that I've missed or I am never gonna hear the end of it!" He flung himself against the car as Sam dialled.

"Hey Bobby." Dean zoned out of the rest of the conversation his mind wandering to the fact that if it was something that he couldn't find wrong with the Impala then maybe it was broken for good this time. The thought always worried him every time something happened to the car…that this time would be it and another little bit of his family would be lost to him. First Sam, now this….. He shook his head to clear the thoughts and the sound of laughter from the other end of the phone reached him and brought him back. Bobby was laughing at him. Dean decided he would kill the man after he got them back to his.

Sam shut the phone and sighed. "Says he can't get here until tomorrow morning. Dad and him have gone out on a hunt and it'll take him a while to get home and then get to us."

"Perfect." Dean ran his dirty hands over his jeans and threw his head back. "Just perfect."

He walked round and opened the driver's door back up and looked up at his brother expectantly. Sam walked round and put his weight against the trunk.

Slowly the car started to move.

"Come on Sammy, push for god's sake, put your back into it. There's a spot just up ahead that we can pull her into." Dean started to pulled her in even as he called back to his brother.

"I am pushing. Not my fault that the damn car weights a ton!" He bit back as he put a shoulder down to it.

"Nope, but you're the one that broke it."

Sam rolled his eyes but didn't answer, he just kept pushing. Finally she slid into a space at the roadside that took her far enough in to be out of the way of the passing traffic.

Dean dropped himself in and pulled her to a halt, leaning back and waiting until his brother joined him inside. "You got anything to eat, 'cos it looks like we're spending the night here?" He rolled his head to look at Sam.

"Some candy, there's water and I've got a packet of biscuits in my pack. You?"

"Same. At least we won't starve. Do you want to see if we can find a town?"

They both looked out at the rain. "Nope."

Sam started to chuckle, slowly letting it build up until he was vibrating in the seat. Dean scowled at him.

"What' so funny?"

"Nothing." Sam calmed himself before he spoke again. "It's just you and me, stuck in the middle of nowhere, waiting on someone to come get us? No food and having to sleep in the car? _Now_ **this** feels like a birthday."

Dean cocked his head and nodded a smile playing over his own lips. "Guess it does, doesn't it?"


	54. Chapter 54

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hi

Sam's leaving chapter. This chapter played me up. I couldn't get it to be what I really wanted it to be, so this is a close as it would go! Does that make sense?

Sorry for the delays and for the fact that I have been very bad and haven't replied to any of your reviews. There are family things ongoing at the mo and I barely get time to sleep let alone write!

Hope you like.

If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free

John looked in the windows of the Impala, at his two boys curled up and sleeping, and a sudden wave of emotion hit him so hard that he had to lean on the car to steady himself. For a brief instant his mind didn't see the grown men that they were now, it only saw the little boys that they had been, might always be in his head. His children to protect and love in his own screwed way and in his own screwed up version of the world and the words.

He thought of how many times they had spent their evenings this way, wedged uncomfortably into the only space that they'd ever got to call home and the little pang of guilt that never quite went away reached up and squeeze at his throat.

Even the slight dip of the car his father's weight on it caused had jerked Dean to consciousness in the front seat, and John watched as his son's hand slipped under the jacket, muscles flexing as he gripped what John had no doubts was a gun. Green eyes calmed and he relaxed again when he saw who it was that was standing against the glass. Holding his hands up as a sorry the older Winchester watched as his other son unfolded himself as well in the rear of the car, scrubbing at his eyes before pushing open the back door and almost falling out into the dirt. Dean was a little more graceful and co-ordinated than his brother as he exited the car but then John doubted that his eldest son had ever truly been asleep.

"So what's wrong with her?" John watched as Bobby walked up behind his son, annoyance building irrationally as the other hunter placed a fatherly touch to his son's shoulder and grinned at Dean. "Didn't your daddy and I teach you well enough how to fix her up?"

John had always been grateful for Bobby's help with the boys, acknowledged or not, but he couldn't help the flare of jealousy that ran through him every time that he witnessed the easy camaraderie that existed between his son and his friend. No barriers of blood or duty of care standing between them.

"If I knew what was wrong with her old man, we'd be having this conversation in your house, probably over breakfast." Dean smirked as he walked round and pulled the hood open again. "I can't find anything obvious."

John moved to stand beside them and he held out his hand for the keys. "I'll try and turn her over again."

Sam snorted at Dean's expression as John took the keys and eased in behind the wheel. He watched as his father ran his hand loving round the worn leather and then leant forward, turning the key and putting pressure on the gas pedal. She didn't catch. John shifted position, checking the dials and a slow smile spread on his face that Sam wasn't quite sure that he liked.

"What?," he questioned his father. "Did you find something?"

"Might have."

Two heads appeared in unison from behind the hood, one with an interested quirked eyebrow and the other with a look of suspicion ingrained on his features. John walked back between the older hunter and his eldest and rested his backside on the grill. "So you checked everything?"

The smile had morphed into something bigger and it was directly solely at his elder son.

"Of course I did." Dean bristled at the accusation in his father's voice.

"And you couldn't find anything _obvious_?" A little alarm bell started to ring in Dean's head as he realised what his father was hinting at, something that he himself had forgotten all about.

John looked away from his son and turned his attention to the man still leaning at his side. "D'you get that part yet that Dean asked you for?"

"You know that it's on order….." Bobby's voice trailed off as he turned to look at Dean. "Son, tell me that you didn't just drag my ass over here for what he thinks you dragged it over here for?"

A slow blush crept across Dean's face. Taking the keys from John's outstretched hand he moved round and eased himself into the driver's seat, knowing what he was going to find before he even slide the key home into the ignition. Turning it a notch he sighed and rested his head on the smooth leather of the wheel. "Son-of-a-bitch!" He turned to stare at his brother, anger burning in his eyes that Sam took the wrong way.

"Oh no. I tried it. She wouldn't start. You are not blaming me for your car being a temperamental bitch." Sam sprung to his own defence.

"You want to walk back to Bobby's?" Dean growled at him.

"I'm not riding with you if you're gonna bitch and blame me for the car breaking down all the way there!" Sam shot back at him.

His older brother ran his hand slowly over his face.

"I ain't angry at you. It's me that's the friggin' idiot. I was so tired when we swapped I forgot to tell you. Fuel gauge is stuck, it gets to a quarter and then it won't drop any lower. I noticed it just after that hunt with the cat. I called Bobby, cause I knew we were heading that way and he's got a replacement one on order from a friend of his for me."

Sam bit his lip and tried not to laugh. "You mean we spent all night in the car, called Bobby to come get us and the problem was we were out of gas? How did you not remember that when you were trying to fix her?"

"I've got a lot on my mind, ok? Besides I was under the hood, if I'd have sat in the seat I'd a remembered," Dean snapped back before sighing and hauling his backside out of the car and walked round to close the hood. "It's not funny," he addressed Bobby whilst trying to ignore that the man was grinning at him like a loon.

John's eyes, while hiding a little twinkle of amusement were set in a dark face. "Good job you guys weren't on a hunt and needed out in a hurry then eh?"

Sam felt his brother tense beside him at the words and put a calming hand on Dean's arm, turning him round. "It's ok, I understand, you're getting old, senility's a bitch."

He quickly sidestepped the swipe of his brother's arm that was heading his way. "Reflexes are a little slow there too big brother," he teased as he rounded the car and stopped next to John, his back to his sibling. His face changed as he addressed his father. "You know that if we'd have been hunting it would never have happened." He kept his voice low as he reached for the gas can that Bobby was now holding, glaring as his father ignored him and turned to follow Dean back to the car.

One look at the two faces of the older men in front of him and Dean had gone to seek refuge in the car, knowing that he was only delaying them torturing him over this but not really feeling like being the butt of their jokes at the moment. He was still too mad at himself for that. Bobby would be alright about it, but Dean knew that he would be in for a lecture at some point from his father. What the hell, wasn't like it was the first time that he'd screwed up, he was sure it wouldn't be the last either but he knew that if they hadn't just been driving to Bobby's, if this really had been a hunt, then John wouldn't be half as calm as he was.

"We'll follow you guys out, don't want any other mishaps happening behind us." John's voice tore him from his thoughts. His father was standing right next to the door of the car and he lent down to talk, patting the metal as he did. "This isn't like you Dean. Something as simple as that." He turned his head and looked pointedly at Sam before swinging back to look at Dean again. "Son, you really need to keep your head in the game here. Before someone gets hurt."

"Yes sir." Dean didn't look up, he just busied himself with turning the car over, waiting until Sam slide into shotgun and his father stepped back before easing her out onto the road.

It was the snort that finally caused him to look across at his brother. "You think this is funny? 'Cos I am never hearing the end of this one, you know that, right?"

"I'm sorry, but I mean when do we ever run out of gas? That's probably why you didn't even think to check that."

"Are you trying to make me feel better or are you just rubbing in the fact that I didn't check the most obvious thing first?" Dean groused at his brother.

"Just stating a fact, we never run out of gas. Thought didn't cross my mind either you know and I'm supposed to be the smart one." Sam 's tone was teasing.

Dean snorted a half laugh at that. "Yeah I suppose you are, college boy. Think we both just failed autoshop 101. Guess we might be getting a lesson on that when we get back to Bobby's."

"You think?" Sam groaned as Dean nodded and then shrugged. The younger Winchester cast a glance over his brother. "You ok? It's not like you to forget something like that."

"I was tired Sammy, I forgot. Just drop it."

Dean turned the music up to end the conversation but Sam talked on anyway, changing the subject as he did. "Still it was fun to spend the night trapped in the old girl, been awhile since we've had to do that. Can you note for the record though, that for a hunter, your ghost stories still suck like they did when I was ten."

"Still tempering them down for you there Sam, 'cos I know what a girl you are when it comes to sleeping in the car in the dark. Still take the torch into the backseat with you there little brother?" Dean grinned as Sam reached into his jacket and pulled out the said torch.

"It's in case I gotta go pee during the night and you know that." His reply was growled good naturedly at his brother.

"Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day, you'll actually believe it. Me? I know better." Dean threw him a sweet smile.

"Just drive. I'd really like to make it to Bobby's sometime before I turn nineteen." Sam settled back to signal that the conversation really was a an end this time.

"Oh we will, think she needs a little burn, just to iron out the kinks." Dean eased his foot down and smiled as the car leapt forward. "Now that is more like it."

"Just don't forgot to stop for gas in the next town, will you?"

Dean slapped him and Sam grinned at the 'smart ass' remark that came his way. Resting his head against the glass he closed his eyes at the car gained speed. His trust that his brother would keep him safe despite the velocity they were travelling at aided his aim to catch a few more hours sleep before reaching Bobby's.

He pushed his hand inside his jacket and gripped the envelope that was there, smiling. His escape hatch was opened and he could taste the clean air. He just had to blast through the last little obstacle that was standing in his way.

He pushed the thought of John's face away and let his mind rest.

---

Bobby had watched the interactions of the small family over their final few weeks together with the benefit of an insider's outsider view and he didn't like what he was seeing.

Sam, not surprisingly, was bubbling with barely contained excitement, tempered only when his brother was around.

Bobby had set him a task and he has immersed himself in it. There had been a string of unusual deaths in a small Midwest town and Sam had gone each one methodically, connecting the dots and laying out a pretty hard to spot pattern as he did. Bobby had smiled sadly as he looked at the precise notes that Sam had made for him. No one he knew, perhaps himself excluded, did research like the younger Winchester, not even John.

John himself was in denial mode. He had found a small lead on Mary's killer and he had thrown himself after it, barking at Dean and Sam if they moved too slow or didn't follow orders. Then he had done what John tended to do best. He'd vanished. One call in the last three days only to turn up last night, to everyone's surprise, and head straight upstairs to sleep, much to Bobby's annoyance and Sam's relief.

Avoidance, the older hunter had thought bitterly, one trait that the Winchesters all shared.

And then there was Dean.

The older brother looked fine on the surface, he smiled when he needed, talked when he had to and did what John told him. Bobby felt the worry trickle through him at the way Dean alternated from almost shadowing his brother's every step like he was trying to commit every detail to memory, to disappearing for hours either out under the car or off in a bar somewhere, crawling home in the small hours of the morning.

Dean wasn't sleeping, he wasn't really eating and he was drinking much more than normal.

Bobby had watched Sam try, albeit slightly less than tactfully, to broach the subject with him but was met with the usual flat out denial that there was anything wrong.

Bobby's own answer had been simpler. He'd poured out the whisky and rationed the beer, throwing Dean a different job every day once John had gone, to keep him occupied and sober.

---

Watching his brother struggle to keep his game face on ate at Sam more than he would admit, the small slips in the façade just enough to let him see how badly Dean was starting to take it as the days were eaten away from them.

That was Sam's only regret about all of this, the fact that his brother would be left behind in the nightmare world that they had grown up in. He knew better now though than to ask Dean again to abandon the life, finally realising that his brother had been right. Dean might have managed to fit in with the college set that Sam was heading to join but it was here, in this world, that his brother really excelled. Dean was a natural hunter in a way that Sam never could nor would want to be. Any skill he did have would always be tempered by his hatred of the life they led and his resentment of his father for their lack of choice in the matter.

He couldn't lie that he wasn't relieved to be leaving this life behind and finally getting to live his own the way that he wanted to.

Tomorrow was the day that would change his life in a good way forever and he liked the sound of that word.

_Forever_.

---

Sam smiled at the irony that it was one of John's life lessons that he would use to walk away from everyone and everything that he had ever known. John's lesson in how to use fear in a positive way, to rise to the challenge and face it head on was the one that he would need now, to give him the strength to say goodbye to his brother and stand on his own two feet for the first time.

_Freedom._

The word made him sick with excitement, his stomach twisting in knots as he finished packing his bag.

Dean was already up and gone so Sam washed and made his way downstairs, duffle over his shoulder, ready to make his break. He could feel his father's eyes on him as he walked past and into Bobby's kitchen but he ignored him for now, dropping the bag to the floor behind the outside door and turning to the older hunter.

"Where's Dean?" Sam reached for a cup and started to pour himself a coffee.

"Ask him." Bobby jerked a finger at John and moved off towards the cooker. "You need to get some breakfast inside boy. Got a long journey ahead of you today. Ain't sending you off on an empty stomach. Bacon?"

Sam nodded and turned to face John whose head was now down in a book. He lifted the coffee and slid into the seat opposite his father. "So what have you done with my brother?"

"I needed a package picked up from town, some stuff that Jim was getting for me." John didn't lift his head. "He volunteered to go get it."

Sam frowned. Dean was running him to the bus depot in less than an hour. "When did he leave?"

"An hour ago. Expect that he'll be back soon." John continued to ignore Sam and he could feel the hackles beginning to rise on his neck. Leaning forward he reached to pull the book away just as a hand caught his arm and a plate was shoved in front of him.

"Eat." He looked up at Bobby and pulled his arm free from his grip as the older hunter continued. "Now I promised Dean that you two yahoos would play nice today, what with this being the last time that you'll have to for a while. First one that breaks that promise for me is gonna be staring at the business end of my sawn-off. Rock salt won't kill ya but I can guarantee that it'll sting like a mother. I don't want one cross word spilt before Sam leaves to catch his bus. D'you both hear me?"

Sam shot a look at his father and nodded, picking up the fork that Bobby had laid down and stabbing the bacon on his plate.

John didn't react.

"I said…." Bobby booted the leg of the chair John was sat on. "…..do you BOTH hear me?"

"I heard you," John growled.

"Good." A knock at the door pulled Bobby away from the table.

John's head came up and he locked eyes with his son the minute the elder hunter moved from the room. "So, you're really just gonna get on the bus and go. Do you think that running away from who you are and leaving your past behind will be that easy?"

The sarcasm in his father's tone lit Sam's already short fuse. "I'm not running away from who I am, I'm grabbing at something before it passes me by. Like it did my brother." Sam stabbed the fork down in his food again so hard that the plate jumped on the table.

"Do you think that the things that we hunt will just disappear 'cos you don't want to see them anymore?" John closed the book and leant on it. "Are you alright with leaving your brother and I to pick up your slack?"

"It's not my slack," Sam hissed back at him. "It's never been my slack."

John pushed back the chair and stood, leaning over, eyes flashing with anger. "If you leave now you don't get to come back. I hope you damned well understand that. Make sure you do know son and that you know what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm getting a life. One of my own." He stole a quick glance over at the door.

"You leaving is going to kill your brother! Don't you care about what this will do to him?" John moved round the table, almost nose to nose with Sam as he stood to met his father's advance.

"Still _**using**_ Dean, even when he's not here! Staying is going to kill _me_, hell it might even kill us all. I can't do this any longer. I hate this life. I hate the motels. I hate the hunting. I hate not knowing if we're going to be able to eat or not for the next few days. I hate not knowing if this is the hunt that you or Dean don't come back from. I hate it all! Don't you get that yet?" He was screaming the words at his father now.

John grabbed his jacket and pushed him up against the wall, using his bulk to hold him there. "_I mean it Sam_, you walk out that door, then don't bother coming back." There was a desperate edge in John's tone that egged his son on.

"Fine." Sam pushed him off as Bobby stepped back into the room, fury in his eyes. "Then I guess I won't be seeing you again. Goodbye dad." He stomped over to get his bag, needing now to be gone, to get as far away from his father as he could. He had to get out before he said something that he really could never take back.

John's hand on his arm stopped him, his father making one last attempt to stop him leaving. "Sam, you are still my son. You'll do as I say."

Shrugging free he turned to face his father, his voice quiet now as he spoke, the anger in him reined in by his disbelief that John was still trying to order him around. "I've never felt less like your son." He poked his father in the chest. "I don't care what you want. Don't you get it? You can't control me anymore dad. Live with it."

John went to grab at him again but Bobby stepped between them, pushing him back. "ENOUGH! He's leaving John, just let him go."

He felt John strain once against him and then fall back. "Don't _you_ get it Sam? You can't leave this life." John spat at his son. "It doesn't let you."

"Well I can and I am." Sam picked his bag up and flung it over his shoulder.

"One day it'll be you that needs me, don't count on me being there!" John pushed Bobby off and walked into the living room.

"I never did," Sam said quietly.

Bobby sighed, saddened that Sam was leaving the way that he was. He went over to Sam, hugged the young man to him, unable to find the words that he wanted to say. "Take care Sam, be safe," was what he settled on.

"Thanks Bobby." Sam stepped forward to the door. "Tell Dean that I'll call him when I get there, that I'm sorry for not waiting. Take care Bobby."

With that and one final shake of his head at his father, he was gone. Bobby watched the boy walk away across his yard and pulled out his phone. "Your brother's heading for the bus station. Just so you know." He closed the phone before Dean could ask what had happened and strode over to John.

He got right up in his face.

"Just for the record, Winchester, you're a moron." Bobby turned his back on him and walked over to the corner. "You've got an hour John, I want your shit packed and out of my house by then." He picked up his shotgun from the cabinet. "Don't make me use this."

----

Dean had taken the back roads all the way down to the bus station, pulling off into a side street and sitting there, watching for his brother's bus to California to arrive and for any sign of Sam. He was rewarded about ten minutes later when one of the local buses pulled in and his brother's giant frame came into view. Tapping his hand on the steering wheel he debated going over. Maybe it would be better just to let Sam go thinking that he didn't care enough to see him off. Perhaps that would make the break easier for his brother.

Maybe make it easier for himself.

Dean knew that if he went over he was going to lose it. He knew that. The tears were already fighting their way up inside him and the pain in his chest made his breath catch every time he exhaled. He let his phone go to voice mail for the first calls, sitting there watching his brother cross to his bus, checking the faces around him, frowning when he realised that Dean's wasn't one of them.

That's when it hit Dean.

Here was his brother, about to do the most courageous thing that he had done in his life and he was hiding in the car, too damned scared to go over and wish him well. Scared of the little bit that wanted to go over there and beg his brother to stay or maybe he was scared of the little bit that wanted to get on the bus with him.

"Get out of the car you ass," he chided himself, pushing the door open and hitting the button to dial Sam's number as he did, his throat closing on him as his brother's voice said his name.

His resolve to be strong crumbled.

----

Sam was almost hopping on the spot at the bus station. He was sure that Dean would have come, that he would have wanted to wish him well, see him off safely. Yet Sam was alone. Dad was probably back at Bobby's slowly roasting that he'd dared to carry through with leaving and Dean….well Dean was just…gone. His brother's phone went to voicemail again when Sam called and he sighed. Maybe his brother was pissed at him for not waiting, angry now with him for leaving too.

"Dean. It's Sam. Listen my bus is in so I guess that I missed you. I-I'll call when I get to Palo Alto." He paused. "Guess this is it then. Bye Dean." Putting a foot onto the bus he went to pull himself up when the call came through. He smiled at the caller ID. "Dean?"

"What did he say to you?" Dean's sounded off somehow, an emotion in his voice that Sam couldn't place.

"Nothing."

"Sam. What did he say?"

"Just let it go Dean, what does it matter? It not like I wasn't leaving today anyway." Sam sighed as his brother did.

"What did he say Sam?"

"Nothing that he hasn't said to me before Dean. So are you're coming to say goodbye then?" Sam changed the subject not wanting his brother to get into it with John when he got back.

"Sammy." Suddenly Dean sounded broken and Sam tried hard not to think that it was his fault.

"Where are you? Are you back at Bobby's? I thought that you'd be here to see me off?" Sam knew that he sounded pissed but it wasn't really at his brother, more at the fact that he wouldn't get to say goodbye.

He didn't know that if he had looked round he would have seen his brother standing not ten feet behind the bus, warring with himself over whether to go closer or just turn and leave.

Dean stumbled over his words. "I-I…..I couldn't, you know…..I was on my way and I just….I'm sorry Sammy…I just….I hope that everything goes well for you. Call when you get there, ok?"

"Dean, I know….I get it, I do. I'll call. I'm going to miss your ugly face." Sam tried for a joke but there was such a long silence that he had to check the connection, fearing it had dropped. "Dean, you still there?"

_Dean's crying_, the thought slid into Sam's brain. That was why the silence still hung at the other end of the phone. He waited for his brother to pull it together, not calling him on it.

"Yeah." Dean's voice was a croak. "Look I need to go, Dad's got that hunt lined up and he'll have my ass if I keep him waiting."

Sam held in the sigh of frustration that Dean's word created in him, pausing this time to wipe at his own eyes, suddenly hit with an immense feeling of loneliness; he couldn't begin to tell his brother just how much he was going to miss him. "Take care Dean."

"Don't forget me Sammy." The call dropped suddenly and Sam stood there staring at it dumbly. Dean had hung up on him.

"Sam?"

He stared at the phone wondering how he could still hear his brother's voice when the line was dead.

"Sam?"

He turned.

Dean was standing there, tears glistening in his eyes and one lone one trailing his face. He scrubbed at it viciously with the back of his hand.

"I thought…." Sam stepped forward and then the moment became awkward as Dean drew back slightly, stood biting his bottom lip.

His whole face trembled with emotion.

Then he stepped forward and hugged his brother so tightly that Sam thought he was going to burst, that he'd be like a giant teddy bear with stuffing leaking out if Dean didn't let up.

Still, he hugged his brother back just as fiercely.

Just as abruptly as the call had ended Dean let go and started to back away. "I need to go….I have to…." He wiped at his face with his hand again, turned to go and then stopped, spinning back round. "I almost forgot."

He dug in his wallet and gave Sam a card.

"Health insurance? In my real name? How did you get this?"

"Julie-Anne and Agnes. It's legit. Don't ask what she's gonna make me do to thank her for getting that organised." The little grin that flashed across his features was all too brief and then he was moving, stepping briefly back into his brother's space. "I want…" Dean brought his fist to his mouth and breathed deeply before looking up and continuing. "I want you to know that I'm proud of you." He gripped Sam's shoulder tightly for a few seconds. "You need me, you call me."

Dean abruptly turned away again, heading almost at a run for a little side road that Sam hadn't even seen earlier, the Impala tucked neatly into it's tree-lined kerb partly hidden from sight.

Sam watched at the car roared to life, quickly backed onto the main street and then with one last look, his brother drove away.

_"You need me, you call me."_ Dean's words ran through his thoughts. That was a call Sam vowed that he was never going to make.

Wiping away his own tears, he stood until the car turned a corner and disappeared from view and then he heaved his duffle back up onto his shoulder, boarded the bus, and headed out to start a new life.

One of his own.


	55. Chapter 55

I tried to think of a reason why Sam didn't call his brother other than the fight and what is in this chapter is what came to me. I thought it fitted, interested to see what you think! I also tried to weave in the Bobby with the shotgun and Dean's keychain, although I know that he didn't have it all the way through the seasons, just wanted to use it here.

Next chapter _should_ be the last one and it too is mostly written, just needs a few things changed so it should be up fairly soon. *hopes*

Lonely Is The Man

Dean pulled the car off to the side of the road and got out, finding a spot where he could watch his brother's bus leave but that Sam wouldn't see him from. He rested against the trunk lid, hands at his side and watched.

The vehicle backed up from the stance and circled out to the main entrance, pausing for passing traffic and then it was rolling, moving past him in a blur of motion as it picked up speed and headed off with what felt like his only reason for being safely tucked on board.

He felt as if someone had ripped a hole inside him. His whole life had been about taking care of and protecting his brother, what was he supposed to do now?

He walked back round the car, resting one hand on the top and the other gripping the door handle as his body started shaking violently from the sobs that sought their release. Turning, he let himself slide down the door, elbows on knees as he slid his hands through his hair, clasping them as they met on his crown. A low sound escaped him.

He brought his head back hard against the door before letting it drop again and letting the tears fall.

Dean thought that he finally got it now, after all these years of trying to understand, to get inside his father's head; he got it.

Got what it felt like to have the thing that you love and care for most in the whole entire world taken from you.

Got what it felt like to be left to watch helplessly, not having the means to fight against the force that ripped them from your grasp.

And then what? Then came the moment when you had to somehow try to move on.

Yeah, finally he understood. He found a new admiration for his dad's ability to have done just that, maybe he hadn't done it well, but still John had managed to get up and get on with each day.

Find a purpose to his life again. A reason to keep going.

Dean had only one problem with doing that.

He didn't have something to blame that he could channel his grief against. Didn't have something or someone that he could hunt down and destroy for taking his brother from him.

Without Sam his life counted for nothing.

He was screwed and he knew it.

----

Bobby was standing on the porch, shotgun across his arms as Dean pulled into the salvage yard. His father was loading the last of his stuff into the truck.

As he exited the car Dean's eyes fell to his own duffle sitting at Bobby's feet. He looked between the two men and then shot Bobby a quizzical look, not really wanting to venture nearer, afraid of the look on the older hunter's face and not wanting the man to see the tear stains that still marked the skin of his face. "What's going on?"

"We're leaving," John growled at him. "Seems we've outstayed our welcome. Grab your shit and let's go." Without checking that Dean was following his order John climbed into the cab and gunned the engine.

"You're daddy and I had words. Well I had words and he….._listened._" Bobby had shouldered the gun and was walking towards Dean with his duffle in his free hand. The younger man stepped forward and relieved him of the burden, tossing it into the back of the car.

Bobby's eyes were full of concern as they looked at Dean. "Sam get off ok?"

A nod was his only response.

"Son, I am madder than hell at your daddy at the moment and I want him gone, unfortunately that probably means that you are gonna get gone too. It's only his welcome that's revoked, you can stay if you want?"

Dean shook his head, not trusting his voice again.

The older man stepped in close beside him. "I want you to know that if you need me for anything, you call me. I mean anything at all Dean. If you don't and I have to come rescue your ass it will not be pretty and I won't be responsible for my actions. You hear me?"

A faint little smile broke cover on Dean's face for a brief instant and he nodded again.

"Take care of yourself Dean…and that father of yours. I hate the man, doesn't mean that I wish ill on him." He grinned. "Well maybe just a little."

John hit the horn and Dean turned, acknowledged him with a hand and then jumped in the car. With one final wave at Bobby he expertly swung her round in the tight space and followed his father out onto the road.

Bobby spared one final curse for his pigheaded friend, for what he had just done to his little family and then he headed back indoors.

---

Dean almost groaned with relief when John finally pulled over and into a motel parking lot. They had been driving for hours and he was flagging, the upset of the day coupled with the long drive had sapped almost all of his energy. He waited in the car until John came back out of the reception and held up three fingers, pointing to the far end of the run of rooms.

Backing the big Chevy up he drove over and parked in a spare space, leaving the one at the door empty for the truck. He tried not to look at the empty seat next to him as he slid out, grabbed his duffle and headed inside.

John was still in a foul mood and Dean was tempted just to turn tail and head to the nearest bar but he was dead on his feet. Instead he took his duffle, waved off the offer of food and headed across to the beds as his father headed out.

Dean had already dropped the bag down on the bed nearest the door when he realised his mistake. It wasn't Sam that would be sleeping in the room with him tonight it would be John, so Dean knew that he would be automatically relegated to the other bed. He tossed the duffle over and sighed as he sat down and just upended it, spilling the contents on the floor. Kicking at it he saw what he was looking for. Bending he picked up the t-shirt and the shorts that he slept in, pausing as he realised that there was something tucked inside the shirt. It was a little black box. He opened it. Inside was a folded piece of paper and a keychain. Taking the keychain out he let it dangle from his hand. On it was a single silver bullet.

He dropped it back into the box and opened the paper. Sam's scrawl was on it.

_You won't have me there to save your sorry ass when you screw up on a hunt so I figured a spare round would have to be the next best thing. Sam. _

Dean chuckled but it was a dry sound in his ears. "As if bitch!" Digging in his pocket he switched the Impala's key onto the keychain and laid it down on the table, his gun and his phone following. He gave the phone one look and dismissed it as a bad idea. Sam had already sent a text to say he'd got there safely, he would think that Dean was just checking up on him.

Dean washed and changed and then collapsed back onto the bed. With one last look at his phone he killed the lights. Despite thinking that he wouldn't sleep that night he was sound by the time John came in to check on him. The older hunter changed quietly and then lowered himself down on the opposite bed, the strains of the day beginning to catch up on him too.

Looking over his sleeping child John noted that despite stopping for food and gas Dean hadn't spoken a word to him since they'd left Bobby's and that made him uneasy, little memories of a silent five year old sitting in the motel room all those years ago surfacing to torment him.

This time, he swore, was not going to be like that . Tomorrow would be better John hoped. It sure as hell couldn't get any worse.

---

Two weeks later Sam 

_"You need me, you call me." _Dean's words circled round Sam's head as he sat on the little balcony outside his apartment, turning his phone in his hand as he debated making the call. Two weeks in and he was already doubting himself.

It wasn't as if there was anything wrong. He liked it here.

He had money that he had actually earned The people at his job were nice. The apartment was nice. The weather was nice. Everything was nice. 

And that he knew, _was_ the problem.

Everything was just too nice and he wasn't sure that he could handle so much _nice _in such a short space of time. Ordinary. Safe. Dull. Boring. _Lonely._ He stood on _that_ thought and ground it down.

He turned the phone in his hand again. The apartment was huge compared to what he had been used to and he felt like he was rattling around in it. He missed fighting for the hot water. He missed arguing over the last slice of pizza. He missed Dean's snoring keeping him awake.

He missed Dean.

He looked down at the leather journal that was resting on his knee, the one that he had found in his duffle. Dean had put it there with a note.

_Sam _

_Journals are a Winchester tradition, you can keep this one so that I can laugh one day at all the lame shit you did at college while everyone else was at the frat parties. _

_Dean. _

"Jerk." The word fell fondly from his lips and he wondered if his brother was missing him too.

Standing he slid the phone into his pocket and went inside.

The pen set that his brother had given him was sitting on the table and next to it was the Taurus 92 9mm, that John had left for him on his bed at Bobby's the day after his birthday. No note, no card just the weapon. Just typical John. Sam ran a hand over the mother of pearl grips and then lifted the gun aside to give himself room to lay down and open the journal.

Picking up one of the pens he started to write……_Maybe it'll be different when college starts…._

----

John and Dean 

John stood in the middle of the motel room floor and wondered, not for the first time in the last two weeks just who the man in front of him was. He knew his name, hell he'd given him his name, but this wasn't the Dean Winchester that he had raised and in his own way, loved. Dean had changed into a stranger that John could no longer read and if the truth be told…reach.

His son, one of only two things left in this world that he truly loved, was standing with his back to him less than a foot away and yet John felt that if he reached over his arms still wouldn't be long enough to breach the gap between them.

John almost couldn't stand it any more, the strain of the silence between them, the per functionary handling of the hunts and the injuries. They still worked as a team and a damned good one at that, still able to tell what the other would do, how they would react to a situation but there was a want in his son that John knew he could never fill.

Dean never seemed to take any down time. John knew why. It was the same reason he moved them on from hunt to hunt, town to town at a gruelling pace. A pace that at some point would take it toll, at some point would end in the serious injury or death of one of them. Neither of them could stop though, because to stop turned their thoughts to the person that was missing – from the car, from the room; from their lives.

And neither could handle the ache that Sam's absence had caused.

And they sure as hell couldn't talk about.

So they had pushed on.

Alone together.

----

John sighed as he looked at the caller ID and started for the door of the motel room. "I'm going to take this outside," he called back to Dean, not waiting for the reply that he knew wouldn't come. "Hey Agnes."

"Don't you hey me, John Winchester."

John rubbed his forehead, sensing that this wasn't a social call. "What can I do for you?"

"I want to know what going on?"

"What rattled your cage woman?" John braced himself for the reply.

"One word – Dean! What is up with your boy John? He sent Julie-Anne a message, **a message** **John,** saying not to call or contact him again. No explanation, not even a bad excuse. After all she's done, I think that she deserved a little better brush off than that!"

He was getting a headache. "You're mad at Dean, so you're shouting at me why?"

"The son of a bitch has switched his damn phone off, so you're the next best thing. Go give him a kick up the backside from me. Better still tell me were you are and I'll come deliver it myself. What the hell has gotten into him?"

John sighed. "You know that Sam left two weeks ago?"

"Yes." Agnes' tone was softer when she spoke again. "How's he doing?"

"Don't know, he hasn't called. Not even Dean."

Agnes huffed her frustration. "Is Dean alright?"

Stealing a glance at his son through the motel window John shook his head. "It feels like someone died."

She snorted at him. "Just a little bit over dramatic there I think John. Sam isn't dead, he just went to college."

" Didn't say that it was him that died." John looked at Dean slumped over a sawn off that he was starting to clean.

There was a little pause before Agnes spoke again. "He'll get through it. Dean's tough."

John wiped at his face and frowned. "No, I don't think he will. Last time I saw him like this, well it was when Mary…..he's just withdrawn inside and I can't reach him."

"Keep trying John. He'll come round. He did the last time, didn't he?" Agnes sounded much more sure than John felt.

There was a long silence, neither knowing what to say next. "Yeah, maybe. Listen Agnes I gotta go, got some things to take care of."

"Ok John. Look after that boy of yours."

"I will. Take care Agnes, tell Julie-Anne I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I will. Bye John."

"Bye."

He closed the phone and walked back into the room stopping at the foot of the bed that Dean was sitting on. "You hungry? I was going to go grab something to eat at that excuse for a diner down the road."

Dean didn't looked up, just shook his head and went back to his task.

John snapped. "Cat got your tongue there Dean?"

Empty eyes came up to meet his. "I'm not hungry." Then he was back to cleaning the gun.

"Agnes tells me you and Julie-Anne broke up then?" John tried for a conversation but Dean just shut him down.

"So? Not like it would have gone anywhere anyway. Better not to just keep her hang on for something that ain't never gonna happen." He stood and lay the gun down on the bed, grabbing his jacket. "Don't wait up, I don't know when I'll be back."

"Where are you going?"

Dean stopped and stared at his father. "Nowhere."

The door slammed behind him and John slumped into the chair at the table behind him.

He had to do something to sort this, he just didn't know what.

----

One month later John and Dean

John couldn't do it anymore.

He couldn't take the silence but then the strained, limited conversation was worse. He decided maybe what his son needed to snap out of the funk that he was in was a short, sharp shock. Either that or his brother to call but since that didn't look likely to be happening anytime soon John took the only option he had left.

That's when he had broken the news to his son, finally getting a reaction for the first time in weeks.

"You're leaving me behind?" There was so much hurt in his voice yet Dean's face was blank. John could see the emotions though that were swirling deep behind his son's eyes.

"I don't need you on this hunt, I want you to stay and finish up here. I'll call you and you can come get me when you're done here." John slung the duffle onto his shoulder and turned, no longer able to look as the hurt threatened to break out of the restraints that Dean had lashed it in.

John wondered as he reached for the door handle if Dean would go seek out Sam, maybe John's abandonment of him would push him back to his brother and then maybe Sam could reach the part inside that Dean had closed off to the rest of the world. The part of his son that had died when his brother had left. God knows he had tried but it was just too deep.

He knew now that he had already lost Dean. Lost the son he knew when Sam had gone, it had just taken John too long to realise it.

"But Dad….." Dean's hand was on his arm but John didn't, couldn't turn.

"I've given you an order Dean." With that he walked out the room and left his son standing opened mouthed in the centre of the floor.

Dean spun round, reaching for his jacket to follow John but he stopped when he saw what was sitting on the table.

His dad's journal was lying in front of him.

It was like finding Jesus had left him with the Holy Grail. Such a plain looking, ordinary journal that said more to him than his father ever would.

This was it then, the moment he'd dreaded since Sam waved goodbye and got on the bus.

Dean was getting ditched, being kicked to the curb like the roadkill he was. He was just surprised that it had actually taken this long. He knew that it had been coming, hell he was even partly the cause, but still it stung like a slap to the face.

Sam had ditched him and now his Dad had too. He snatched the book up and slumped to the floor, falling against the bed, drawing his knees up tight to his chest, encircling them with one arm. The laugh chortled up inside him, small bubbles of mirth escaping him as he ran his hand over the smooth leather of the book in front of him. Grabbing it as the laughter took hold he threw head back against the bed and pulled the precious journal tight to his chest. The laughter tailed off into choking sobs of grief as he let himself slip to the side, curling on the floor like a kicked dog.

It had finally happened.

The day he'd dreaded since he was a child waiting for his mother not to be dead, not to have left him in this new and horrid existence. His family didn't need him anymore. Despite all that he'd done for them they'd left him.

Discarded him.

Sam was gone.

Dad was gone.

He was alone.

Still a little sliver of hope ran through him at the fact that the journal was here with him. Perhaps he hadn't been abandoned completely. John needed the journal. Dean knew that and what it meant. His father would be back for it. Back for him.

----

Sam 

He wanted to call Dean. He had so much news that he wanted to share with his brother but that was the thing that was stopping him.

He felt more settled now. School had started and it was taking up most of his time and he loved it. Every single minute of it. He had fell in almost immediately with a little group of people, three other guys and six girls and for the first time he had friends that he wasn't going to have to say goodbye to in a few weeks time. People that shared his interests and his goals. He had a girlfriend of sorts too and he wanted to call his brother, let Dean tease him about it all, ask him rude and invasive questions about his relationship.

He wanted to let Dean know that he was happy but another part of him just saw that as rubbing his brother's face in it. Look what I've got Dean, what have you got? He had all of this because of his brother's love and support and Sam didn't think that he could call and flaunt his escape from hunting when Dean himself was still a hostage to the life. It wouldn't be fair.

Instead he pulled out the journal and wrote down everything he was feeling and wanted to but couldn't say in it, hoping that one day Dean would get to see it. Would get to know just what he had done for him.

---

October /November

Dean

He had been hunting on his own now for weeks without a word from his father. It wasn't the solo hunting that got to him, or even the sad looks as he ate alone in the diner or even sitting in a bar on his own; 'cos the latter two usually ended with him getting laid and hell it's not like it was first time that he'd ate or drank alone. No, what really got to him was opening the door to the motel room and having the silence that lived in there as his only welcome home. The bottle and the canned laughter from the TV his only relief from it. The knowledge that there would be no one coming to break it, no other company except his own. Just the silence and nothing to break him away from his own thoughts.

So he set up a little reward scheme to help him try and cope.

Find a hunt = Pizza and some late night porn.

Killing an evil SOB = a night in the local bar.

Save someone doing it = A night in someone's bed.

He tried not to think about why most of his hook ups where red heads or why at least two of them wore the same perfume as Julie-Anne.

Soon the rewards though were outnumbering the hunts that should have triggered them. He spent too much time in the bars and in someone else's bed, too much time easing his pain to be fit enough to hunt properly, starting to pick up injuries that hindered him even more.

He was in the latest motel, finishing attending to a gash on his side. Looking in the bathroom mirror at his bruised and battered torso he realised that the last little bit of who he was had started to slip away.

If he wasn't a hunter then what was he?

The answer to that was like the room around him. Empty. If he wasn't a hunter then he really was nothing. He picked up his gun from the bathroom shelf and let the weight lie heavy in his hand. _Use it or get your shit together Dean_, his little inner voice scolded him and just for a moment he was tempted. It would be so quick, so easy, one pull and lights out.

"Too easy."

His voice sounded odd and too loud in the absolute quiet of the room, almost as if the walls themselves had been holding their breath as he debated his future. "Too damn easy for me, too damn hard for my brother."

He checked the clip, then the safety before stuffing it into the back waistband of his jeans and switching out the bathroom light. Grabbing his stuff he rammed it into his duffle, pulled on a t-shirt and his jacket, turned off the TV and hit the road running. He side stepped the bars and the women, most nights, and threw himself headfirst into the hunt. Town after town, miles of road passing under the Impala's wheels, hunting anything that he could find, barely stopping again anymore to rest or eat, the car his home for more nights than it wasn't. The hip flask and the heater his only companions.

And all the time, he was heading west.

----

John 

John had been watching over him the whole time. A little army of favours pulled from other hunters. Hunters that had occasionally bumped into Dean in the bars or happened to stop at the same motels. John frowned at the tales of his son's drinking and the never ending stream of women that Dean seemed to be able to bend to his will and charm his way into their beds.

Then suddenly it has stopped.

Almost overnight and despite the occasional slip, Dean was back on track. John had him tailed to Salt Lake City and then he called them off, not needing them anymore. He knew where Dean was heading next.

---

December

Dean knew where he was heading now, didn't try to stop it. He spent a week in Salt Lake City trying to rustle up some funds, knowing that Vegas would have been easier pickings but not being able to bear driving along the strip passed the hotel they had stayed in.

Eventually he decided to roll with what he had and finally set the car in the direction that he had been heading along.


	56. Chapter 56

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

OMG.......apart from a little epilogue......this is it.....I have finally finished this story. *waves hands in the air* This isn't the original ending, I added to it but I hope that you like. The eppy will just be my way of trying to tie it loosely back into the start of S1 even if this chapter strays slightly from cannon in bits.

Thank you for stayin for the journey! Hope you all enjoyed the ride.

Getting To It.

It was snowing.

In Cali-freakin'-fornia.

Dean couldn't quite believe his eyes but then the last few days he had had his fair share of freaky weather. Outside Salt Lake he had ran into a huge thunderstorm that had forced him off the road for an hour only for it to be followed by a hailstorm that had him out inspecting the car for damage when it passed.

And then had came the snow. Sure it was light but still it was snow.

His hunter instinct told him that something was screwed to hell about all this but since there wasn't much that he could do about the weather he just kept driving.

The snow was still falling as he pulled the big black car into the parking space at the dead end of his brother's street. Dean gave his best girl's steering wheel a loving pat and pulled his jacket closer round him. "Well girl we made it." He shivered, the car was cold and quiet, he had driven the last hundred miles without the heater or the radio just to make sure that he actually got here, the gas tank needle on the new gauge hovering dangerously near empty.

Dean sat there and looked down his brother's street thinking how odd that sounded. A Winchester that belongs somewhere, had someplace to go home to…actually has a home. The thought made him happy and then saddened him too. _I had a home once, in another life. _He patted the steering wheel again, _no disrespect to you old girl. _Slowly though the smile crept back onto his face._ Sammy has a home. Finally._ The little warm glow that thought gave him brightened the smile further and pushed away the cold that was starting to creep into the stationary car.

Dean wasn't truly sure why he had come, the hunts had just led him here. _Hey they did ok? _He wasn't sure either what he was going to do now that he was here. He knew that he sure as hell wasn't going to go up to his brother's door, knock on it, and expect to get invited in with open arms. _Hey, remember that life you ran from Sam? Well here it is, knocking on your damn door. _No, Sam couldn't even phone him…so a visit was out of the question. His brother didn't need him anymore and he could live with that, just as long as his brother was happy…he could live with that now.

His dad was still off somewhere, killing something and not answering his phone, _shocking I know,_ and Dean…well Dean had been alone now for the last two months, he didn't have a gig and since he was sleeping in the car anyway, he'd thought…did it matter were it was parked? _Admit it Winchester, your lonely. _He pushed the thought away. _Nah, I just wanted to see him that's all. Make sure he was ok…I mean he's my brother, I should at least check my brother's ok once in a while. Shouldn't I?_

He got out the car and headed in search of a bar and some warmth, the chill now beginning to seep into his bones. His last two credit cards were only useful for scratching the ice off the Impala's windscreen and his last fifty dollars in his pocket were needed for stake money, that's if he could find a willing target for a game of pool. If he spent that he was screwed and he didn't want to try and explain to either his dad, _if you can reach him,_ or Bobby how he managed to get stranded here of all places.

He had kind of run out of money a week ago and out of food four days after that. One packet of candy excluded. He'd realised that he'd ran his reserves low but he couldn't avoid it and then, when it had been a choice between fuel for him and fuel for his baby…the car had won, his need to keep moving winning over the need to actually eat. His problem now was though he had used the last of that fuel to get here and now he wasn't going anywhere until he either found some pool action or, and the thought brought the smile back to his face, a willing college girl that he hoped would at least feed him and bed him if nothing else. His stomach growled at the mere thought of getting something to eat. He patted it gently. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Hope your home's warmer and better stocked than mine little brother." He spoke as he walked by the darkened windows of the apartment, blowing on his hands and rubbing them together trying to get some life back into them, his collar pulled up against the coldness in the air.

Turning onto the main road, he followed a little trail of humanity to the nearest bar.

---

Sam sat in the crowded bar, laughing with his friends and watching as Jess was lusted after by every red bloodied male in it. He watched as heads turned as she snaked her way through the bodies to him. Not for the first time he thought about how lucky he was to have her and how much he already, even after a few short weeks, want to spend the rest of his life with her.

"Penny for them?" She smiled and leaned in slowly for a kiss. He drew her to him revelling in the sweet smell of her skin and the soft touch of her lips on his.

"I was just thinking what I did to deserve to have you in my life." Sam kissed her again and pulled her closer into his arms.

"I'm a sucker for puppy dog eyes." She laughed. "Sure you won't come home with me for the holidays?"

"I can't. I need to work, you know that. Besides isn't it a little soon for that?" He grinned at her as she pulled a face.

"They're just my parents, they don't bit and it doesn't mean that you'll be tied to me for life just because you visit!"

"Pity. I kind of like that idea." She pushed him off as he bear hugged her. "I have to work."

"Work, work, work. It's not good for you." She smiled sweetly at him.

"It pays the rent, so I have to. Do you want a drink?" He waved her empty glass at her.

"Yes please, the usual." He kissed her again until finally she pulled away. "Bar closes in an hour you know, go get me my drink!" He laughed as she pushed him away again, waving him off with a smile.

----

Sam fought his way to the bar, getting to the front he ordered the drinks and turned round to wait. The figure at the end of the bar caught his eye. The tousled dark, blonde hair… the leather jacket. Sam started through the crowd at the bar but the figure disappeared in the throng. His height a good advantage, he spotted the figure heading for the door.

Forgetting the drinks he fought his way through after it. Finally reaching the door he stepped out in the darkness of the parking lot. It was empty of people. He stepped forward and scanned the entire area.

Nothing.

Reaching into his jacket and pulling out his phone, he pulled Dean's number up and hit dial. The car park stayed silent as he heard his brother's phone switch straight to his voicemail.

_Just great, now I'm seeing things when I'm awake._

_It's guilt, it's been months and you haven't even called him. _

_You just did and his phone's off, you idiot. _

_Dean's phone is never off. _

The little jumble of thoughts made him look round the car park again.Sighing Sam closed his phone and taking another, final, look around him, he stepped back into the warmth of the bar, shaking his head. He fetched the drinks and made his way back to Jess, forgetting about the figure the minute she put her arms around him.

---

Dean shook his head as he stood up from behind the car that he'd used as cover from his little brother. He had spotted Sam the minute his brother had headed for the bar, his half a head height advantage over most of the people there making him easy to pick out. That was too close he thought as he switched his phone back on and sighed. _All the bars here and I pick the one that he's actually in! Damned Winchester luck, still looking good there Sam…looking damn good and as for the lady, what I saw was hot! _He whistled as he walked away.

The bar down the street was quieter and there were a couple of guys playing pool. Dean sat at the bar and watched them, they weren't bad but he knew that he could still take them.

A voice broke his reverie. "You can't stay, if you don't order something. The side show's free though." The man nodded in the direction Dean has been looking.

He turned and looked at the barman. "Dude, what…are you implying?" There was a tone in Dean's voice that made the man hesitate to answer. He watched something glint through the green eyes staring at him and swallowed hard.

"You need to buy something to stay here. I ain't implying anything…just stating a fact."

Dean half smiled." Coke."

Rolling his eyes the man walked away, fetched Dean's drink and then got him his change. When Dean turned back to the game the guys were packing up.

Cursing under his breath he moved over. "You guys finished? I was hoping to find someone to play?"

"Sorry dude. We've got a bus to catch, holidays and that, but the table's yours if you want it." They grabbed their bags and headed out.

"Damn." Dean racked up the balls anyway and started to play, missing the odd shot on purpose in case anyone was watching. After three games and no one looking at all interested in him or the table he gave up, downed his drink and left.

He was wondering just how far his remaining dollars would get him as he turned the corner onto Sam's street and his run of bad luck continued.

His brother was standing kissing his girl beside a waiting taxi. Dean froze as they broke apart and she climbed in, a flash of blonde hair catching his eye as she did. Sam bent down and talked to her through the door and then stood and waved her off. As he turned to go back inside Dean's bad luck made the home run. Sam looked across the road, directly at him.

His eyes widen in disbelief. "Dean?"

_Crap._ Dean plastered a smile on his face and started across the road. "Hey little brother."

"What the hell are you doing here, I mean it's been….it's good to see you……is dad with you…..are you hurt? Shit you're hurt aren't you?" Ignoring his own remark he grabbed his brother. "And you're freezing!" He pulled him in the direction of his apartment.

"Sam, I'm fine….I can't….I just stopped by to see if you're ok."

"In." He was forced through the main door and towards a flight of steps.

"Sam I said I'm fine." Dean tried to shrug him off, but a determined Sam wasn't flung off that easily. He was pushed through the door and into a small, welcoming living area.

"Jacket off."

"Sam…."

"Jacket off."

Dean pulled his jacket off and lifted his shirt and the three t-shirts that he was wearing. "See, no damage…I'm fine." He paused, tilting his head and worrying his lip with his teeth. "Do you think that's the only reason that I'd stop by, 'cos I needed patched up?"

Sam shuffled awkwardly. Dean shook his head and grabbed his jacket, throwing it back on. "You son of a bitch. When have I ever gone to anyone 'cos I was the one that needed their help? I'm out of here."

"Dean please, I'm sorry. Don't go." Sam grabbed his arm again, stopping him just before the door.

Dean shrugged him off but stood there. "I haven't bothered you for anything in the whole time that you've been here…I was just in the neighbourhood and thought I'd say hi. I've done that so I'm going."

"For Christ sake's Dean, it's in the minus out there." Sam turned his brother round, pulling his head up and making him look at him. "And you're sleeping in the car." He pulled at the layers his brother was wearing.

"Yeah. So? Not like it's the first time, sure won't be the last."

"Do you have any money? Where's dad?"

"I've got money." Dean opened his wallet and waved a couple of notes in his brother's face.

"And dad?"

"Working a job" The reply was mumbled and Dean turned his back on his brother. Of all the conversations they could have, dad ditching him was bottom of Dean's want to list.

"He left you on your own?"

"Why not, you did." He turned as he spoke and regretted the remark the minute its impact showed on his brother's face. "I'm a big boy now, besides since when did I need a baby sitter?"

He started for the door again and huffed as Sam stopped him again. "Stay. Please? Just even for the night? My roommate's gone home for the holidays."

Dean flicked his eyebrows at his brother. "Is that the hot chick that I saw you with earlier tonight?" He kicked himself mentally as the last word escaped him.

It was Sam's turn to raise his eyebrows. "How long have you been here man?

"Coupla hours." Dean admitted, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

"That was you in the bar wasn't it?"

"Yeah. You got me. You looked busy with your _roommate_, I didn't want to interrupt anything." Dean grinned.

Sam blushed and Dean laughed. "You're an idiot, you came all the way here and you weren't even gonna come in a say hi, where you?"

"Didn't know if I'd be welcome," came the matter of fact reply.

Sam's eyes flashed. "Why wouldn't you be welcome? You're my brother."

Dean snorted. "Yeah? So how come you never call me?"

"I knew that you'd be busy, and it's been hectic here with school and stuff. You could have called me," Sam shot back.

Dean folded his arms. "Like you said, I've been busy."

Sam threw him his best bitch-face and then held out the token Winchester peace offering. "Beer?"

The elder Winchester relaxed. "Thought you'd never ask."

"Make yourself at home."

Sam disappeared off into the little kitchen and Dean shrugged his jacket back off, dropping it on the couch before having a wander round the room he was in. "Nice place," he called to his brother. His eye was caught by the draught excluder that was lying back from the front door. He went to kick it back into place and frowned. Kneeling he touched a hand to it, a slow smile spreading on his face. "Tell me you didn't Sammy."

"Didn't what," his brother asked as he exited the kitchen, stopping when he saw what Dean was looking at. "Oh."

"Dude, is this filled with salt?" Dean bit back the chuckle. _You can take the hunter out of the hunt but not the hunt out of the hunter._

"Well I couldn't exactly salt the doors with Jess here could I?" Sam handed Dean the beer and dropped down in a seat. "Couldn't do the windows though."

"These are cool, very inventive, hell you should have thought of these earlier, would have saved us a lot of work when we moved motels…and salt. You should patent them." Dean teased his brother.

"Shut up." Sam took a slip of his beer. "So how've you been?"

"Ok. Like I said busy." Dean picked at the label on his bottle as the silence hung in the air. "So female roommate huh?"

"She not really a roommate, more a……"

"Mate, mate?," Dean interrupted.

"Girlfriend." Sam corrected.

"So, you been seeing her long?" Dean lent back and stretch his arm along the back of the couch, finally relaxing, the beer and the warmth easing him.

"Known her since I got here, we've been dating for a month now."

"When did she move in?"

"Three weeks ago."

Sam waited for it. "Jesus Sammy, don't waste any time there bro'." Dean grinned. "So were does she sleep?," he enquired.

"With me. Why? What pearl of wisdom are you going to hit me with?"

Dean tried for offended. "None. I was just checking that I wasn't gonna be sleeping in a chick's bed, that's all."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Yeah right." Sam really looked at Dean for the first time. His brother looked pale, tired and thinner than he remembered. "Are you hungry? I've got some pot roast left over from dinner."

Dean's stomach beat him to the answer and both brothers laughed.

"Take that as a yes. Why don't you get your stuff from the car and I'll heat this up. Bathroom is the first door on the left and the spare room's the second. I'll get some bed linen for you."

"Thanks Sam." The grateful smile on his brother's face was genuine. "I won't be long." Dean was true to his word, the cold outside putting a fire under him.

By the time that Sam came out of the kitchen with food and coffee Dean was showered and changed. In the sweats and the thin t-shirt his brother's weight loss was even more pronounce. "Here eat this. There's pie for afters."

"You may never get rid of me, "Dean joked as he took a mouthful of food and groaned. "Your girl can cook."

"I made that." Sam looked pleased with himself.

Dean choked. "You? Mr, I can't make toast without burning it?"

"It was learn to cook or live on take outs. I didn't have the money to order in every night, so I bought a book."

"Must have been a damned good book." Dean couldn't resist the dig but Sam hit back.

"Lots of pictures, you'd have liked it."

Dean stuck a finger up at him and then went back to eating, knowing that he'd have to stop soon if he wanted to have pie, because there was too much for his stomach to cope with and he really didn't want to spend the night puking or worse. But he did want pie.

Sam talked while Dean ate and then he excused himself, dumping the dishes in the sink and going to get washed up for bed. By the time he came back Dean was asleep on the couch. Torn between getting Dean in to a real bed and not waking his brother, the latter won. He pulled the quilt through from the spare room and wrap it round him.

Crossing the room Sam sat down in the chair and just sat and stared, realising for the first time just how much he missed having Dean around. His brother's wallet was on the table and Sam stood and opened it, looking down at his sleeping brother as he did. "Sure, you've got money Dean." He went through and got his own from the bedroom, slipping two hundred dollars from his wages that he'd just been paid into his brother's. As an afterthought he put a credit card that Dean had given him a spell back in as well, one that he had kept for emergencies that had never arisen.

Finishing his drink he put out the lights in the living area but left the little hall light on, just in case his brother got up during the night.

He stopped in the door and chuckled as Dean started to snore softly and then he headed down the hall and to bed.

---

Dean woke in the early hours of the morning and sighed contentedly, despite sleeping on the couch this was probably the best sleep that he'd had in a while and the soft, fresh quilt was definitely a bonus. He tried to decide what it smelt of but ended up just settling for clean.

Yawning he set his feet on the floor and pushed himself up, heading for the kitchen and the coffee. He got it made and then wandered back to the couch. As he lowered himself down he caught sight of the little leather book on a shelf on the lamp table. Knowing he probably shouldn't he reached over anyway and snagged it, setting it in his lap and opening to read as he sipped at his coffee.

The first line made his breath catch….._Maybe it'll be different when college starts…_Hugging both hands round his mug he started to read all about his brother's settling in period in Palo Alto.

Dean had gone from worried to chuckling as he read the musings of his little brother. There was a few mentions of himself on the pages, a number of 'I should call Dean and tell him' entries but the hunter got now why his brother hadn't called. Sam had missed him too but to call meant to admit that to yourself and to do that, well Dean had already wallowed in that particular misery fest. He laughed at the later entries, college work getting more mentions than the incredibly hot sounding girl that his brother waxed on about. "You're such a geek, how are we related?"

"No lifeguards in the gene pool, that's how." Sam walked into the room and sat down next to his brother.

"Funny." Dean guilty closed the book. "Sorry, I was bored and it caught my eye."

"Nah. I wrote it for you to read. What do you think?"

Dean ran a hand over the smooth leather. "I think that I'm glad that you're happy." He smiled at his brother. "Makes me feel better."

Sam pushed his hair back from his face. "If you stayed it would make me feel better."

Dean sighed. "Sammy, we've been over this."

"I know Dean but….."

Dean stopped him. "Why can't you just let me be, like I let you be Sam? You wanted out, I helped get you out. Me? I don't want out Sam. This is it for me. I can live with that, so why the hell can't you?" There was no anger in his voice as he spoke.

"I just want the best for my brother."

Snorting Dean rubbed at his forehead. "No Sam, you want what you think is the best for me, see the difference there?"

Sam snorted this time. "Like you didn't do that for me my whole life?"

"That's different."

"How and if you say it's 'cos you're the oldest….."

"I _am_ your big brother Sammy, that's my job. To look out for you. Bossing you about is just part of the job description."

"And what's my job description?"

"To be an eternal pain in my ass." Dean dodged the hand that flew his way.

Sam's face eased into a smile and he shook his head, hating how easily his brother could change the topic of any conversation away from himself and turn it on Sam. "Jerk."

Dean grinned in return. "Bitch."

The younger Winchester gave up. "You want breakfast?"

"Again, thought you'd never ask. Not much of a host there Sam."

Sam stood. "Not like you couldn't have helped yourself."

"Hey, I'm a guest." He held up his mug. "I made the coffee."

Sam shook his head and wandered towards the kitchen. "I must have known you'd show up, I bought pancake mix."

Dean's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Sam nodded. "You can wash up. No free rides in this house."

Dean went to reply but was interrupted by the sound of his phone beeping. He dug in his jacket trying to get it, yanked it free and froze. The screen flashed 'unknown' but Dean knew who it was that was trying to reach him the minute he pulled up the message.

The look on his brother's face was all Sam needed to know who had sent the message.

"It's co-ordinates." Dean sounded shell shocked and so young and unsure of himself that Sam walked back over and sat down next to him, feeling the need to give his brother support for some reason.

Sam realised that there was something going on here that he was missing so he posed that very question to his brother.

Dean looked as if he was going to say something but let his shoulders drop at the last minute and looked back down at the phone in his lap. "So, dad needs me for a hunt he's got lined up."

"And you're just going to go." Sam stated resignedly the comment a statement of fact not a question. Standing he walked into the kitchen. "Still want breakfast or is it orders to go?"

Dean frowned at the double edge to the words. "Sam." Sighing and pushing himself off the couch he grabbed his duffle, indecision written on his face.

Sam appeared back in the doorway. "Well?"

The elder Winchester resisted the urge to just pack and run. "Breakfast would be good. I'm just gonna go get dressed."

Dean disappeared off down the hall and Sam rested his head on the doorframe before he moving back inside the kitchen to cook.

---

Dean wolfed down his food and chased it with some coffee.

"You're gonna be sick." Sam shook his head at his brother's hurry. "It's not like he wont wait for you…." The look on Dean's face made him stop. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Dean stared into his cup.

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Exactly how long has it been since you heard from dad?"

"Not long." Dean pushed his chair back from the table and stood. Sam grabbed his wrist. "Let go."

"He's been gone a while hasn't he? That's why you ended up here?"

Dean tried to free himself again. "Let the hell go."

"No. Tell me. I want to know."

Dean wiped his free hand over his forehead and laughed bitterly. "You really want to know? He ditched me ok? It that what you want to hear? He did what you did, he just got up one day and walked away. Happy now?" Dean turned and headed over to get his jacket.

"He dumped you and then you still just jump the minute he whistles?" Sam followed him through.

"Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do. I would jump if it was you, why should he be any different? He needs me." Dean turned his back on his brother as he pulled the jacket on and started to zip up his duffle.

"No he doesn't." Sam watched as Dean tensed suddenly realising just how his brother would take that. He clarified it. "He doesn't need anyone."

"Well that's as maybe, but I'm still going. A hunt's a hunt. Bad things to kill, people to save and all that shit."

"Dean?" Sam hadn't seen his brother in over three months, he did not want this to end badly.

Turning, the elder brother took a deep breath and looked at his young sibling. "What?" There was an edge of anger in his tone.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For being there for me. For stopping by and checking on me. For this." Sam gestured at the room and then stuck his hands in his pockets. "Will you keep in touch?"

"No." Dean shouldered his bag.

"No? Why not?" Sam stepped forward and his brother shifted quickly to the side towards the door.

"Because I can't do it Sam." Dean put his hand on the door and slid back the chain. "I can't look after dad and worry about you at the same time. You're happy enough here. You've got friends here. You don't need me."

"Yeah I do" Sam closed the gap again and this time Dean held his ground, a wry little smile on his face.

"No Sammy, you really don't. Enjoy college, you earned it." He slapped his brother on the shoulder. "I gotta go."

"Yeah. I suppose." Sam threw his brother a mischievous look. "So, if you need me, call me."

Dean laughed as his own words were said back to him. "Yeah, you too."

Stopping once again in the doorway Dean turned, head down, playing with the car keys that he now held in his hand. "He's sorry you know. He just can't tell you. I can see it though. He misses you too."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, well. Water under the bridge, I'm here now and that's all that matters."

"Take care, Sammy." With that Dean turned and was gone.

Sam stood and watched as the big car slowly made its way up the street, pausing outside his apartment, then with a blast of the horn it took off, fishtailed slightly in the poor conditions and then roared out of sight.

---

Dean didn't find the money until he stopped to put the last of his funds in the car. He sent a text – _I'll pay you back_.

The reply was almost instant._ I still owe you. _

He was climbing back into the car as his phone beeped again. The same unknown number message was on the display and when he opened it there was a different set of co-ordinates on the screen. "Jesus, can you at least give me time to get on the road before you screw me about."

He studied the map and then pulled out onto the road again, heading for Cheyenne and thankful for the money that Sam had slipped him. It was going to be a long drive but he didn't intend on stopping.

----

The motel room was in darkness as Dean pulled up into the parking lot, scanning for and failing to find his father's truck.

He looked at the last message he'd received with the address of this motel and the room number and frowned. Something was off about this and he didn't know what. He opened his phone and dialled his dad's number cursing as it flipped straight to voicemail. "Just once dad…" He pushed open the door and exited the car, drawing his gun and heading to the door of the room next to the one that the message had stated.

Quietly he moved along until he was beside the room that John was supposed to be in. Slowly he turned the handle and the door opened, the bedside light inside coming on as it finished it's inward swing revealing a figure sitting on the bed that was most definitely not John Winchester.

"You didn't think that I would let you off that easily did you?"

Dean slipped the safety back on the gun and slid it into his waistband. "Where's my dad?" He waved his phone at her. "Nice touch by the way."

"Didn't know if you would have come if I just called you. I told him that you were going to be delayed, he's in a motel a few towns over." Julie-Anne stood and walked towards him. "So, is there something that you want to say to me?"

He kicked the door shut and reached out, brushed a finger over her cheek. "I was expecting you to turn up sooner."

"Well I knew that you were hurting over Sam leaving when you sent me your lovely 'dear John' message, thought I'd give you some time before I came and kicked your ass for hurting me like that."

The hand moved to stroke her hair back from her face and he stepped a little closer. "Sorry doesn't really cut it, but if it's worth anything, I am. I didn't mean to hurt you but this….us….it doesn't have a future. You know that. We already said goodbye once."

"So let's just end this the proper way. Like adults. Come here." She pulled him over to the bed, slipped his jacket off and then lay down. "Lie down beside me."

"Julie-Anne I can't. Since I sent you that message I've...I mean I...."

"I know Dean. I get it. You're not a monk. I just want you to lay with me. That's all."

Putting the gun on the nightstand, Dean lay down and gently kissed her forehead, pulling her into his arms. He tried not to think about how right she felt lying there.

"Just one last night Dean, it's all I want. Nothing more than you and me, here together." She pulled his head down to her and gave him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips.

"I thought you'd be mad at me, want to throw things and shit."

"I am mad at you, that's why I'm here. Closure." She rolled away from him, putting her back to him and then pulled him after her, bringing his arm over her side and hugging it to her chest. Dean relaxed in behind her. "What are you frightened of Dean? Are you scared that if I make you happy that you'll lose that edge that you need to keep going?"

"Julie-Anne..."

"No Dean, I want to know. You owe me that."

He closed his eyes. "My dad was happy once. That happiest destroyed him, left him broken and empty inside for such a long time. When my mom died, hunting down the thing that killed her was the only thing that got him up some mornings. I just….if we did this and something happened to you, because of me, because of who and what I am….I can't Julie-Anne."

She swung her head round. "Nothing is going to happen to me because I'm with you."

"I can't take that risk. I won't. Please don't ask me too."

She settled back down, reaching for the covers and pulling them up. "Ok. Just keep me safe for tonight then Dean and then I'll let you go."

Dean's arms tightened around her and she closed her eyes, wishing for something that she already knew she could never have, except maybe for this one last night.

---

The Impala was in the carpark as John made his way over to the motel room, scanning the area to see if Dean was around. It was only as he reached the door and heard the TV that he knew that his son had let himself in.

He stopped outside the door and took a deep breath, not sure of what was waiting for him inside. Finding he didn't care if Dean called him on dumping him, just as long as his son talked to him, he pushed opened the door.

Dean was sitting with his back to him, laptop open and on the phone to someone. John walked up behind him and place a hand gently on his son's shoulder. Starting slightly, Dean turned his head and smiled. "Hey Bobby I need to call you back….yeah sure…..thanks."

"So you made it ok." John didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah, freaky weather and Julie-Anne not withstanding." Dean saved what he was doing and closed the laptop, fingers tapping a little rhythm on it that John recognised but couldn't place.

"Freaky weather?" Walking over the older hunter cast off his jacket and sat down on the bed with a weary sigh.

"One minute it was snowing, then I couldn't see for the damn sunshine and then I hit hail that I thought was gonna knock holes in the damn car." He tapped on the file that was sitting next to the laptop. "Seems that you've been weather watching as well. What gives?"

"Nothing. Probably. I was looking into a connection with the night your mother died and freak storms in the area at the time. Think there might be a pattern. I'm just having trouble working it all out."

"Maybe Sa….." Dean caught himself. "…I could help."

"We'll work on it later." John twisted his wedding ring on his finger as he spoke again. "So how is your brother?"

"What? What makes you think that I've seen or spoken to Sam?" Dean stood and walked over to the coffee machine and started to busy himself.

"Dean."

"He's fine." He was going to ask how his dad knew that he been with Sam but he already knew the answer. John had either followed him or had him followed. The thought made Dean smirk and shake his head.

"And you?" John's voice pulled his son back into the conversation.

"What about me?" Dean asked as he handed off a cup of coffee to his dad and lay down on the other bed.

"Are you fine?" John mirrored his son's actions, laying down the cup to pull off his boots before he settled back.

"I'm good." Dean reached over the side of the bed and started rummaging through his duffle. Pulling out what he was looking for he held it out for his dad to take. "Here."

John looked down at the journal. "You been using it?"

"Full of insightful facts and useful tips. No good hunter should be without one." Dean flicked the channel on the TV to some old monster movie. "You write like a five year old though."

"Did I really miss you talking?" John sighed but with a little smile playing on his face.

"You know you did. So what this hunt that you need my help with?"

"Like I said, I've been working on some leads on the thing that killed your mother, needed your help to tie them all down."

"Why don't you just try summoning, you've got the ritual still right?" Dean gave his father a knowing look that John couldn't meet.

"Decided that I want to do this the old fashioned way. Let it know that I'm coming for it. Hunt it down until it has nowhere to run."

"Give yourself time to figure out what your gonna do to it when you do catch it?" Dean offered.

"That too."

"If it's a demon, how are you gonna kill it?"

John smiled coldly. "With my bare hands if I have to. So are you ready to go do this?"

Dean returned the smile. "Hell yeah. Let's do it."

**Chapter End Notes:**

Will post the epilogue in the next few days. Thank you all folks, Mary xx

ANd I will update my replies to your reviews. Sorry it's all still hetic here!


	57. Chapter 57

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Well, this is it! The final chapter. *does a little dance*

This is just my way of tying it into the Pilot episode so I hope you like.

I had an eleventh hour idea that could take this on from S5 so the story might be finished but there may still be a little of the tale to tell. If I do decide to write a sequel you guys will be the first to know!

On This Road Forever More 

2005

John sighed as he closed the phone on his friend. Thomas Walker was a hunter that had helped John on more than a few occasions in the past and now he was looking for John's help, right as he had gotten a possible lead on the demon. He tapped the phone on the table weighing up his options. He had to go, he had a debt to repay the man but this lead would be cold by the time that he and Dean got to New Orleans and back.

Dean chose that moment to open the motel room door and draw his father's attention, the thought gaining life in John's head even as he smiled at his son.

"What?" Dean asked suspiciously as he opened the bag of food that he had been carrying and dropped his dad's meal onto the table, then extracted his own cheeseburger.

"Nothing, just wondered if you fancied a road trip?" John took the offered food and spread it out in front of him.

"Road trip? Where?"

"New Orleans." Dean's ears picked up.

"New Orleans? I could do that. What's the gig?"

"Friend of mine, ex-hunter. He needs a hand with a spirit that's been making a nuisance of itself at a family member's house. He thinks that it's been raised on purpose."

"Voodoo?"

John shrugged. "He's not sure."

"Sounds ok, when did you want to leave?" Dean bit into his food but stopped chewing as his dad didn't answer. "Dad?" he muttered round the mouthful.

"I've got a gig in a place called Jericho, a two lane stretch of blacktop and a guy that's gone missing. Looked into it and there's a pattern. Though I'd check it out before something else happens." He shoved the papers over for his son to look at.

"You want me to go hunt this thing on my own?" John could hear the wheels turning in his son's head. Dean narrowed his eyes as stared at his father. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No. I just thought we could spilt up, no point in wasting gas with both of us trailing down there. It'd let us get this done quicker and then get back to hunting down the demon."

Dean scowled at him but didn't raise the fact that they were near enough to Jim's to leave the Impala there. "So why don't I take this," he waved the paperwork at his dad, "and you can go check on your friend?"

"No." The reply was a little too abrupt and John breathed once and toned it down. "This thing is hunting single guys, the other gig is safer." He didn't mention that it was one town over from where his lead for the demon was, knowing that if he told Dean there would be no way that he would leave him on his own. "If you don't think that you can manage it, or you don't want to….."

"What? Don't want to get to go to New Orleans on my own without Papa Bear breathing down my neck?"

John frowned. "It's a hunt Dean, not a licence to party."

"I know, but all work and no play." A smile creased his face.

His father just shook his head. "What am I going to do with you."

"You're gonna call me this time when you're finished, that's what you're gonna do." Dean sat back and crossed his arms. "Are we clear?"

"I'll call." John didn't make eye contact.

"Dad?"

He looked up. "What? I'll call."

"And you'll of course keep your phone on at all times?" Dean enquired sweetly.

"Dean," John growled.

"Fine. When do I have to leave?" He balled the paper from his burger and lobbed it into the bin. "

In the morning."

Dean fetched a couple of beers from the fridge. "You said ex-hunter. How do you become an ex-hunter? Doesn't that just mean that you're dead?"

John snorted at that. "Thomas is a cripple. Got his leg ran over with his own car out hunting a poltergeist."

"Ouch." Dean took a sip of his drink, and John watched him get lost in his thoughts for a moment before he called him back by speaking.

"You gonna be alright on this hunt on your own?"

"I've hunted on my own before, remember?" Dean stated quietly. "I'll cope. Will I need to do any research before I head down or will this guy be able to bring me up to speed? Is he just looking for some muscle to dig the grave for him?"

"Tomb rob actually."

"Gig gets better and better, no digging up the corpse, got to love a place that buries it's dead above ground. A little salt'n'burn and some down time in New Orleans. Go Team Dean."

"I'll call and tell Thomas it's a yeah then." John laughed at the smile on Dean's face.

"Tell him it's a hell yeah."

---

Sam sat up, the scream dying on his lips as he did. Jess stirred beside him in the bed and he waited until she had settled again before he quietly slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom. Filling the sink with water he splashed his face.

The nightmare had been so real, more intense even than last time and he was beginning to worry that it was more than just his insecurities over going to ask Jess to marry him that were causing them. He could feel the blood on his face, the heat of the flames; the smell of the smoke.

He wandered back through and into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of beer from the fridge and then sat down, popping the top and taking a long, chilling drink. His phone was almost calling to him from the table. _If you need me, call me_. Dean's voice spiralled through his thoughts. _I can't. Not after all this time. Besides, he'll think I'm nuts. I mean what are these except stupid dreams?_

He downed the rest of the bottle and slipped back into bed, snuggling into Jess' side and letting the comfort of the feel of her in his arms drag him back down to sleep.

---

Dean woke with a start not sure for the moment exactly where he was. The remnants of the dream that he'd been having still clung to him as he shifted round to check the time. He had been dreaming about Sam. Dreaming of fire. He wiped at his face and pushed the last little dregs of misgivings away for now. _Maybe it was time to go visit, maybe it's guilt for avoiding him for so long? _

"Shut up," he chided his little inner voice.

Turning he took in the mop of black hair that was lying on the pillow beside him and he grinned, switching his mind to happier thoughts. Yeah, New Orleans was definitely his kind of town, hot food and even hotter woman. He trawled quickly for her name as she opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Hey Giselle."

"Hey yourself." She pulled herself up onto an elbow. "So last night was fun, I got to go to work but maybe we can met up again later?"

Dean grinned his approval and then enjoyed the view as she got out the bed and made her way over to the bathroom.

How long are you in town for?" Her voice floated out to him over the sound of running water as she switched on the shower.

"Few more days. Just finished up some business, waiting for my dad to call and tell me where he is."

She stuck her head back round the door. "Your dad?"

"We work together normally, I was just down her doing some work for a friend of his." Dean reached over and snagged his jeans from the floor.

"What kind of work did you say you did again?"

"I didn't. "He slipped his t-shirt on over his head. "We do loss adjusting for an insurance company. Boring but it pays the bills and you get to meet the nicest of people." The smile slid onto his face.

"I bet you do."

Giselle closed the door and Dean finished dressing quickly, pulling his phone and calling his dad, rolling one eye as it switched to voicemail. "So much for keeping the damn thing on, where are you? If I don't hear from you by tonight I'm heading to Jericho in the morning." He snapped it shut and lifted his jacket from the bottom of the bed, pulling it on just as the bathroom door swung back open.

"So, call me?" Giselle crossed the room and pulled him down into a kiss.

"O-k," he replied, once he had freed himself from her lips.

"I'll see you tonight then."

With that he headed out and down to the little café on the corner where he'd had breakfast for the last three days. The waitress greeted him with a warm smile and a cup of coffee. "Usual?"

"Please." His phone vibrated in his pocket but by the time he stood and freed it, it has switched to voicemail. "Son of a…." He called the service and hit the button to listen to the new messages.

John's voice sounded worried. "Dean... something big is starting to happen... I need to try and figure out what's going on. It may... Be very careful, Dean. We're all in danger." His dream of his brother popped back into is head and did nothing to ease his growing sense of forboding.

"Maybe it is time to go pay my brother a little visit." He smiled at the waitress as she walked over. "Honey, can you do me a favour? Can you make that to go?"

----

It was the next night that he pulled into his brother's new street in Palo Alto, quickly finding the address that Sam had sent him about six months ago when Jess and him had moved. He brought the car to a halt up the street a bit and looked round.

The feeling of being watched was eating at him, he just couldn't see who or what it was that was keeping tabs on him. Shrugging it off he got out and made his way back to his brother's apartment, stopping to look round the windows as he did. He smiled as he saw the catch on one wasn't shut all the way home. "Sloppy little brother, very sloppy."

He was up and inside in less than a minute, walking through quietly to the bedroom and pausing for a second as he took in the sleeping forms of his brother and his girl. Doubts that he should have come for Sam filled his head, but he had called his dad almost every hour since he'd left that message and there still had been no reply. Sure he could go hunt John down on his own but he didn't want to and the little nagging doubt that his brother wasn't safe here on his own still tugged at him. He walked into the kitchen and kicked the bin over before he could change his mind, moving through to met his brother as he heard Sam cut round him.

He blocked a few of his brother's blows and then pinned Sam to the floor, grinning as he did. "Whoa, easy, tiger."

"Dean? You scared the crap out of me!"

"That's 'cause you're out of practice."

Sam lashed out quickly, flipping them over and pinning his brother down.

"Or not. Get off me."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was looking for a beer."

"What. The hell. Are you doing here?"

"Okay. All right. We gotta talk."

------

The hunt had gone well, and Dean had almost forgotten how much he'd missed working with his brother. Almost. His sense of loss was back now, increasing even as Sam walked round the car. He stuck his game face securely on as his brother leant in the open window to talk to him.

"Call me if you find him?"

Dean nodded, waiting for his brother to throw him even the smallest of bones. Sam read his mind.

"And maybe I'll hook up with you later, huh?"

Dean gave a half-smile at the lie. "Yeah, all right." He watched as his brother walked away. Couldn't stop himself calling out to him and delaying the inevitable a moment longer. "Sam? You know, we made a hell of a team back there."

"Yeah." Sam smiled softly and then watched as Dean drove off before he turned and headed inside. He had enjoyed seeing and spending time with his brother, even without finding dad, but this was were his life was now and his future was just on the other side of his front door. He unlocked it and stepped inside.

---

Dean was less than a mile away when he realised that his watch had stopped. A fleeting memory of his dad standing with the clock from Sam's nursery in his hands had him turning the car and heading back to his brother's at double the speed that he had driven from it.

Without stopping to lock the car or even pull the keys from it, he ran up and kicked the front door in, stepping into his own personal nightmare of flames and his family burning in them. He screamed his brother's name as he rounded the doorframe and took in the sight before him.

Looking up the image of Jess burning on the ceiling was burnt into his brain but it didn't stop him moving, didn't stop him pulling his resistant brother from the flames that threatened to engulf them both.

Sam was still screaming her name as Dean dragged him outside.

---

Dean made the call as he watched the firemen dampen down the last of the flames. _If he hadn't come for his brother would Jess still be alive or would his brother be dead now as well? _

The feeling of being watched was now making his skin crawl. He cast a look as the gathered figures but none of them seemed to be the source of his discomfort. The phone connecting pulled his attention.

"Well, long time no hear. What prompted this call? Take it that it's not a sociable call at one thirty in the morning?" Agnes sat back and pushed her glasses up her nose, actually pleased to hear from Dean, to know that he was ok. She didn't let him know that though.

He got straight to the point. "The thing that killed my mom, it went after Sam's girl at college."

Agnes sat up, giving him her full attention now. "Dean I'm sorry Are you sure? Is she ok?"

"No. It killed her the same way it did my mother."

She could hear the tremble in his voice and asked the question that she was almost afraid to. "And Sam? Is he ok?"

Dean looked to were his brother was standing, watching the scene with dispassionate eyes. "No." His voice did break a little then but he got it together quickly. " But he'll get through it. I'll makes sure that he gets through it." The _I've been there before_ went unsaid but Agnes heard it just the same.

"So why are you calling me? Do you need my help?"

"If it went after Jess because of Sam, I was worried about Julie-Anne."

It had been two years since Dean had seen or contact her daughter but his first thought was still for her. That made Agnes smile and feel sad at the same.

"Dean, Julie-Anne isn't your girlfriend. She hasn't been for a while now. Why would it go after her?"

There was an edge to his voice as he made his little confession to her. "I know, but if it knows how I feel about her." He paused. "Can I speak to her? Please?"

"Dean…." It was Agnes' turn to hesitate. "Julie-Anne isn't here."

"Where is she? Can you get hold of her, see she's alright. Maybe I should go check?"

She wasn't sure quite how to break the news to him. "Woah there Dean. She's fine. I'm sure of it." Agnes cleared her throat.

"What aren't you telling?" he questioned.

"Julie-Anne is on her honeymoon Dean. She got married a few months ago. This is them just getting the chance to go away."

He didn't talk for so long that she thought the call had dropped.

"Julie-Anne got married? Your daughter, that Julie-Anne?" There was incredulity in his voice that she had felt herself when her daughter had announced her intentions to her.

"Yes Dean. My daughter got married, strange as that might seem."

"To whom?" He felt the numbness creeping through him at the loss he knew that he had no right to feel.

"Paul. They've been working pretty closely since you guys left here. They've been dating for over a year."

Dean recovered himself. "I'm glad." He didn't sound it Agnes thought. "Paul's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is."

There was another long pause before he spoke again, quietly asking something that Agnes didn't have the answer to but could only hope for. "Is she happy? Does she love him?"

Agnes wiped at the tears that the barely hidden pain in his voice caused. "I'm afraid you can't ask me that Dean. You don't get to ask that. Besides, I can't speak for my daughter even if I wanted to."

"I'm sorry. That was kinda rude. I'm sorry. Look can you just check that she's alright, warn her to keep a look out for anything strange?"

"I will. Will you and Sam be safe? Where's John?"

"He's on a hunt. I've got co-ordinates. I'm gonna take Sam and we'll go look for him."

"Be careful Dean. This thing is very powerful. Do not cross it path unless you absolutely have to."

"I will and I won't. It'll be ok once we find dad."

Agnes cursed Dean's faith in the man just for one last time. "You can call me if you need my help." She knew he wouldn't even as she offered, that he wouldn't want to drag her back into this.

"Thanks. I need to go. Sam's waiting. He needs me."

"Take care Dean."

"You too Agnes."

He hung up and stood with the crowd for a bit, trying to get his own feelings under control before he went to speak to his sibling. Still, he kept a watchful eye on Sam as his brother walked over to the Impala.

Dean cast a glance over the activity around him and tried not to think off how similar the scene was to the night his mother had died. Finally he walked back towards the car and his brother, rounding the back end and stopping beside Sam who was loading up a shotgun.

Moving to stand beside him Dean looked down at the trunk, steeling himself for whatever was to come only looking up as his brother sighed. Sam's face was set in a mask of desperate anger, so like John's had been for so long that it broke Dean's heart. Another deep sigh ripped from Sam as he tossed the shotgun into the trunk.

"We got work to do."

---

Across the street a shadow moved in the bushes as John Winchester watched his two sons get into the car and drive away. He knew where they were going but he couldn't follow them now. He has something more pressing to attend to.

He had to hunt down and kill the thing that was threatening them.

He didn't see that he too was being watched, yellow eyes gleaming softly in the streetlights as he got into his truck and followed the Impala out at a safe distance.

The demon in the shadows laughed softly. "Should have let him burn Dean."

Then it blinked it's eyes and was gone.

**Chapter End Notes:**

I just want to say a big thank you and give hugs to everyone that has read, and especially to everyone that has reviewed, this story.

It was never supposed to be this long! Thank you for your patience, support and sticking with it even when it strayed off with a life of it's own. There are bits I love - chapter 10 springs to mind, and bits that I am not so sure of, but still I have enjoyed the ride. Hope you have too!

Mary xx


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